Chapter 37 Zaria
ZARIA
The world fractures into shards of orange and black.
I try to breathe, but each inhale burns, scorches my throat, my lungs, fills my chest with fire instead of air. My head floats somewhere above my body, disconnected and drifting. The pain in my shoulder throbs in waves, sharp and then dull, sharp and then dull, like the blade itself has a pulse.
The smoke is thick now, so thick I can barely see the ceiling anymore.
I'm fading.
I know I'm fading because the fire is starting to not feel as hot anymore. Because the sounds I hear are starting to feel distant and underwater, and because my eyelids keep drooping even though I'm terrified of what waits in the dark.
Stay awake. Stay awake. Stay.
I try to turn my head, but the movement sends fresh agony radiating through my shoulder. I can feel the blade deep inside me, scraping bone, holding me in place while the world burns around me.
Someone bursts into the room. The fire shifts from the wind.
A shadow steps forward.
It's Callum.
He moves toward me, and I brace myself for the pain that will come, but I have to stop him. Warn him.
"Callum, wait!"
I hear gunshots. Two of them. Sharp cracks that cut through the roar of the fire.
My vision sharpens for just a moment. I see Callum on the ground, blood spreading across his sleeve and his foot twisted at an angle. My heart stops.
No. Please God, no.
Get up.
I don't know if I think it or if some part of me screams it, but Callum moves.
My eyes droop and I shake my head to stay awake.
I hear a loud crash and Cormac scream.
I see Callum. He's up and he's limping, favoring his right leg, but he's alive. The relief that crashes through me is so violent it almost pulls me under completely.
I try to call his name, but my throat is raw from screaming and all that comes out is a broken rasp.
He can't hear me over the roar of the inferno.
I watch through half-lidded eyes as he grabs Cormac and starts beating him.
My consciousness wavers and the edges of my vision blur and darken.
When I come to, I hear Cormac screaming.
I watch through my blurry vision as Callum drags Cormac toward the flames.
I watch, unable to look away, as Cormac begs me. I don't make out everything he says, but I don't need to. There's nothing he could say or do that would make me want to save him.
Callum's head turns. Through the smoke and flames, his eyes find mine.
The question in them is clear.
I think of my mother, what he did to her, and how she risked everything to protect me. I think of my sisters in the Order, the ones who burned on altars just like this one because Cormac demanded it. I think of the girl I was before the Order took everything from me. I think of what he did to me.
And I think of Callum, and what Cormac would do to him and his family if given the chance.
No, there is no forgiveness in my heart. He wants everyone else to meet the Morrígan so damn bad, maybe it's his fucking time.
I widen my eyes to see them clearly, and nod to Callum.
Cormac falls into the fire in slow motion. His robes go up in flames and the screams almost stop my mind from processing what I'm seeing.
The sound will live in my nightmares forever, but I can't look away.
When it stops, Callum turns to look at me, and framed in the fire, covered in blood and dirt, he looks like a fallen angel, beautiful and terrible and mine.
Time speeds up as Callum runs toward me.
"Zaria!"
My eyes close. I can't help it. The smoke has stolen too much of my breath.
"Zaria!"
His voice cuts through the fog.
I force my eyes open.
Callum is there, his face hovering above mine, and the expression he wears isn't triumph or victory. It's terror.
"Zaria, stay with me." His hands hold my face, leaving bloody prints on my cheeks. "Look at me. Look at me!"
I try to focus on his eyes. Those beautiful green eyes I want to see every morning for the rest of my life.
"C-Callum..." My voice is barely a whisper, hoarse and broken. "You came."
"Of course I fucking came," he says, his thumb brushing my cheek. "I'll always come for you."
His gaze drops to my shoulder, to the silver crow-winged handle still protruding from my flesh, and his jaw tightens.
"Zaria, I have to pull it out." His voice is steady now, commanding. "We need to leave, okay?"
I try to nod, but my head won't cooperate.
His hand wraps around the handle. The pressure sends a fresh wave of agony radiating through my chest and I whimper, tears running from the corners of my eyes.
"Scream if you have to."
He doesn't give me time to prepare.
He rips the blade free.
The scream that tears from my throat is a sound I didn't know my body could make, and pain whites out my vision.
Blood pours from the wound as Callum cuts the bindings on my hands and feet, tosses the knife aside, and presses his hand against my shoulder, trying to stem the bleeding. I bite down on my lip and force myself to stay conscious.
"I've got you," he says. "I've got you."
He slides one arm beneath my knees, the other around my back, and lifts me.
Suddenly I'm pressed against his chest, my face buried in the curve of his neck. I smell soot and sweat and blood and, beneath it all, his cologne, that sharp, clean scent that I've come to associate with safety.
My good hand finds his shirt and grips with whatever strength I have left.
"I'm sorry." The words scrape past my ruined throat. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I thought..."
"Don't." Callum's voice is a growl, vibrating through his chest and into my bones. "Please don't apologize for any of this."
As we move, I feel the lurch of his steps. They're uneven from his injured foot, but he's relentless. He shields my head with his hand, pressing my face into his shoulder.
"Never leave me again," he says.
I want to answer, but my mouth won't form the words.
The building groans.
A deep, structural sound that vibrates through the floors, like metal screaming against metal. Wood splintering. The curse of this place finally giving way to the fire that's been waiting forty years to consume it.
"Shit."
Callum runs, wincing as he does.
The impact of each step jars my shoulder and fresh blood seeps through my shirt, warm and wet against my skin. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to swallow the sounds of pain that want to escape.
A massive crack erupts around us.
"Hold on!"
He tucks me tighter against his chest and launches forward. I feel his muscles coil and release, feel the moment his feet leave the ground.
We crash through something. Glass and wood exploding around us.
Then we're falling.
We hit the ground hard.
Callum takes the brunt of it, twisting his body so I land on top of him rather than beneath. His back hits grass and concrete and he grunts, arms still locked around me, and for a terrible moment we just lie there in a tangle of limbs and blood and ragged breaths.
A massive boom shakes the earth.
We lift our heads and look back.
The building, the Old Ruins, the place of so much trauma and madness, collapses in on itself. The roof caves first, then the walls, folding inward like a house of cards. Flames shoot up into the sky.
I watch it burn and imagine the altar where I was supposed to die disappear beneath a mountain of rubble and fire.
Then I roll off Callum and onto my back, staring up at the sky.
Stars.
I breathe in the fresh air, cold and clean and free of smoke.
"Zaria. Stay with me," he says. "You hear me? Stay with me."
I want to. I want to tell him I'm okay, that I'm here, that I'm not going anywhere.
But the darkness is creeping in at the edges of my vision again, thicker this time, heavier. My eyelids feel like lead and Callum's voice sounds far away.
I hear other voices, and footsteps surrounding us.
"Get the fuck back! Don't touch her!" Callum yells.
Someone argues.
"Jesus Christ, Cal. What the..." someone says.
"We need to get them to the hospital! Get them in the fucking car!" another voice shouts.
People crowd around me, silhouettes against the burning sky. I try to focus on their faces, but they blur together, smearing into shadows that lean and shift.
The last thing I see before the darkness swallows me is Callum, bloodied and broken, reaching for me like I'm the only thing in this world that matters.
Then nothing.