4. Lafe
LAFE
B lood trickled from the shallow cut Maikel inflicted just under my throat.
But that didn’t matter. Vicente and Maikel could do whatever the fuck they wanted to me, as long as we stalled long enough for one of my brothers to come save our sorry asses. Hell, all of my brothers would be even better.
The chances of them working together, however…
Fucking slim.
Still, I let myself do the one thing I hadn’t done in years. I fucking hoped .
Manuel had spread himself out before her like a feast for her darker hunger. But she didn’t have those. This was going to kill her inside. It wouldn’t even save me. Vicente would do whatever the fuck he pleased, no matter what she did.
“Don’t,” I rasped. She stopped mid-swing and squeezed her eyes shut, twisting her head to the side. Maikel dug the tip of the knife into the front of my shoulder, his arm crossing over my chest like an affectionate hug.
“Now, now, Lafe. You can’t go distracting the girl. That won’t end well for you,” he said softly in my ear.
Vicente shot me a scowl and then turned back to Amorette. “Maikel, give him a nice line across his chest.”
Maikel used his free hand to rip my shirt until it hung open at the chest. Then a blistering hot line trailed almost from armpit to armpit. I bared my teeth at Vicente. This didn’t hurt. It fueled my hatred for him, but it wasn’t painful .
After the life I’d had, this was nothing.
Amorette turned back, watching me with a watery, stricken gaze.
She shook her head over and over. “Stop. Please, stop.” Her hands trembled as she held the knife a few inches above Manual’s chest. He was nearly panting, and his mouth was drawn in a tight line.
She was completely oblivious to anything that wasn’t me.
And that felt… strange.
“You can’t do this, Killer. You can’t. It would tear you up inside.” I didn’t care that Vicente and Maikel could hear every word. This might give them a temporary advantage over us now, because knowledge was always power, but their days were numbered. They had to be.
“How precious,” Maikel laughed.
A breeze ruffled the papers in the room from a broken window somewhere, and everything echoed in this damn room, but none of that mattered. My heart rate sped up while my vision zeroed in on Amorette.
I memorized everything about her.
The few strands of hair sticking to her face. The pink of her eyes made the blue stand out so drastically. Even the contorted way her legs curled underneath her drew my attention. Killer was the only thing that existed for me. The only thing.
A sob caught in her throat as she dropped her gaze to Manuel. She cradled the knife against her for a second, like she was giving up. Good.
Good, good .
She didn’t need to stain her soul like this.
I was the one who was tarnished. My soul was so black, it would never be anything different. I would never be different. My bad deeds were everything she hated.
And sweet Amorette–my killer, she wasn’t built to do these kinds of acts. She wouldn’t be able to look at herself in the mirror. I knew what that was like. I didn’t want that life for her.
Then she lifted the knife again.
“Fucking stop!” I rocked back and forth in the chair, pulling at the restraints. They were too tight. I’d never be able to get out of them, damn it. “I’m not worth it!”
Vicente chortled and slapped his knee like this was the best entertainment he’d ever seen. “Maikel, do you hear this? My bastard son, who should feel on top of the world with the place I’ve given him, isn’t worthy of this slut. Rich.”
I glared at Vicente and bared my teeth. This skitstovel wasn’t fit to lick the shit from my shoes.
He never had been; he’d just had too much power, which took away all of our choices.
“You gave us those positions as a way to imprison us. They weren’t status symbols.
Or signs of affection. You used us and made it so we could never live our own lives. ”
Vicente sobered, all humor melting from his face to reveal the cold, calculated man we knew him to be.
Pushing to his feet, he raised a hand to force Maikel back.
He moved three paces away without a word, like an obedient bitch.
As Vicente walked closer, his gaze seared every part of me from the inside out.
He weighed and measured me - by his standards - and found me wanting.
But his standards were shit. The only thing in Vicente’s book that meant anything was how much money I could make him, and how well I listened to orders. Until now, I’d always toed the line, too afraid of what would happen if I didn’t.
Except when I was sixteen…
“What lives would those be? In the gutter because your whore of a mother couldn’t have taken care of you?
Would you have liked to be part of the gallery?
A runner for your company? Addicted worse than you are?
How about a life where you didn’t grow up with your brothers?
Do any of those futures sound better than the one you have? ”
My eye twitched as I sneered at him, but it was hard. Because—fuck!
That wasn’t the reality. Not even close. It couldn’t be.
My mother could have taken me home any time she was allowed to leave. But she hadn’t been. Vicente had forbidden it.
“Nice try.”
He rolled his tongue over his top teeth as he studied me. “You want me to prove it to you?”
I held my tongue. He wanted me to engage with him, but I was too wired to give him what he wanted. I’d never been the son to go against him. Not like how Parker fucked right under his nose or Grey tortured his men for fun.
Yet right then, I wanted to spit in his face, because as long as his attention was on me, he didn’t care what Killer did. If we could stall long enough, someone would be able to get us. Worst case, they could kill me, and my brothers would save Amorette.
“Fuck. You.” I spat at his feet.
He backhanded me. My head cracked to the left, and blood filled my mouth. My teeth had bit into my cheek from the impact.
Amorette and I locked stares, her eyes full of fear and hesitation. Every emotion passing through her body was written across her face. She was about to do something stupid. Her shoulders tensed and her fingers flexed.
Shit, I couldn’t save her. Not while I was tied up like this. Fuck!
I just needed to incite him a little more. Somehow, I found the strength to break our stare and let my gaze roam over Vicente as if he was insignificant. Like he was nothing.
“Your time is coming, old man. You’ve made too many enemies, and at some point, someone is going to take you out.” I bent forward and put as much venom into my stare as possible.
“Is that a threat? Are you going to kill me?” Vicente let out a rolling laugh, and Maikel joined in.
I chuckled, and it must have caught him off guard because he cut his laugh short. “No. I won’t be the one to kill you. I’m the coward of the bunch.”
Vicente tipped his head to the side in confusion. I bet he was wondering why I would ever admit a weakness. Not that anyone would have thought me a coward. I did what I had to do to keep my brothers and myself safe. But hell, it felt good to say that.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Amorette shifting, as if she was about to lunge to her feet.
No.
I minutely shook my head. Just enough to let her know not to get any fucking ideas.
“Is it a weakness or a strength to know your shortcomings?” Vicente mused, holding his hand out to Maikel.
Oh shit. My pulse pounded in my ears and spots dotted the edges of my vision as I held my breath. Amorette was about to launch herself at Vicente.
Maikel slapped the knife into Vicente’s hand, and he walked around the chair while sliding his thumb over the blade.
As soon as he moved away from Amorette, she sunk back onto the floor.
Manuel still had his eyes closed as if he didn’t want to see death coming.
I relaxed, and it felt like ten years had been taken off my life.
“I don’t know, Vicente,” Maikel mused. “I think it’s a motherfucking mistake to admit anything to us. Look at the bastard. He doesn’t even care that he told you he’s a coward.”
I was only a coward in the ways that counted. When it came to saving those who needed me, I always fucked it up.
Suddenly, Vicente's hand cupped my chin and yanked my head so far back I couldn’t see Killer anymore. I choked and struggled against his hold as a new wave of fear coursed through me.
Not fear for myself, but for her.
With the coke running through my system, I should have been wired, full of energy. Yet, as I glared at Vicente, I had one purpose. Save Amorette .
The fuck of it was, I didn’t know how I was supposed to do that.
Vicente’s sole attention was riveted on Amorette as he placed the flat of the blade against my neck, sliding it across in a macabre caress.
“Little girl,” he crooned in English. “I don’t particularly want to kill him. He is my bastard son, after all. Still, I also don’t make empty promises. What do you value more? Your morals, or his life?”
The knife was gone, and Vicente shoved my head forward as he stepped back.
It took a minute for my vision to focus, but when it did, I rushed to push up from the chair.
Hands shoved me back down and probably saved me from falling on my face.
The scratchy rope was too tight around my torso to allow much movement. And it was too strong to break.
It was there in her eyes, and I couldn’t do a goddamned thing about it.
“Don’t. You don’t have to do this,” I begged as she stared into my soul. “Remember all the bad things I’ve done? You hate me. I stole you from one cage and threw you into another. I could have let you go at any time, and I didn’t. I’m not worth this!” I panted, struggling not to let tears form.
Her eyes narrowed dangerously on me, as all of the panic and hesitation from earlier just melted away. “You’re worth it.” Then with another scream, she raised the knife and plunged it into Manuel’s shoulder.
He only grunted and didn’t lift a finger to push her away or grab the weapon.
I was shocked.
All the strength left my body as she pulled out the knife, eliciting a muffled sound of pain from Manuel. Her hands were steady and tears streamed down her cheeks. Some dripped onto her dirt-stained shirt, some on Manuel’s arm.
Like an out-of-body experience, I watched her raise her arms, riveted by the arc of the knife as she stabbed him a second time and then a third. All in different parts of his body. None that were fatal.
Did she know that?
Warmth like I’d never experienced before started in my chest, then settled in my stomach before spreading throughout my limbs.
She was doing this for me. Killer, the girl who hated everything about the Institution and everything about what I was, broke one of her most sacred rules for me.
“What is this bastard smiling for?” Maikel scoffed.
It mattered fuck all what Maikel was talking about. All I knew was that Amorette was doing this for me . At a detriment to herself, which only made it sweeter.
I couldn’t force myself to feel like an asshole about it. The pure surprise and gratitude overshadowed everything else.
She snapped her blazing blue eyes to Vicente and snarled, a growl that was far more adorable than ferocious. “Is this what you wanted, you fucking asswipe?”
Tensing, I expected Vicente to retaliate against the slight like he had every time I’d seen someone disrespect him. Except he didn’t. When I twisted to check his expression, he was amused as darkness clouded his gaze.
“Oh, I think you can do better than that. Manuel would have left you on the floor at my mercy.” He brought the knife up to the side of my face and dragged the tip down my cheek.
It burned, but the pressure wasn’t enough to cut.
“If you really want to save Lafe any pain, then you need to make him scream.”
Her gaze darted between my cheek, where there was surely a red welp, up to Vicente, then back again. Her face twisted into an expression of pure torture before focusing her full attention on Manuel.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry,” she chanted over and over again as she sliced up his bare arm slow enough that he did, in fact, scream.
As fucked up as it was, I was mesmerized. His pain was music to my ears in a way nothing ever had been before.
And it was all for me.