Chapter 4
Chapter
Four
ECHO
Being around people I didn’t know was exhausting.
Normally, I’d have context for whatever event I was attending.
Was it a lecture I was giving? Easy peasy.
I knew my source material backward and forward, and I’d just watch an episode of some college drama beforehand so I could parrot a few phrases at people when they engaged with me past the source material.
Office hours were a little dicey, but most students wanted the same thing: extensions on assignments or extra credit.
I came off as very no-nonsense to students because I would either agree or flat-out refuse their request. I only had a set number of refusals memorized, and if none of them were triggered, then I literally couldn’t say anything else other than, “I’m sorry, but that’s my final word. ”
And no one argued when you said yes to an extension or extra credit. I just consulted my list of rules on the matter and gave them whatever applied to their situation.
Sure, sometimes a student would try to engage with me further. Maybe ask me about myself or tell me about their own lives.
Regarding myself, I’d simply say, “Oh, you don’t want to hear about me.
My life is nothing but paperwork and lectures.
” They’d laugh, I’d laugh, they’d walk away, and I’d sneak in a quick TV show on my phone about a situation similar to what I’d just gone through to see if there was anything more normal I could have said.
Sometimes I’d find a gem to tuck away to remember so that the next time I talked to someone, I could pull out a new line to use.
Even though anyone who spoke to me knew I was different within fifteen seconds of meeting me, I was always on the hunt for new source material so I could get one more moment where I passed as normal.
I’ve somehow convinced myself that every normal moment I get will allow me to unlock the achievement Normal Guy. I’m not sure what I think will happen when or if I unlock Normal Guy. I don’t get along very well with myself, and we don’t talk often, so I can’t really ask.
Myself and I just do our best to coexist awkwardly together without making waves. Everything I do centers around not letting my brain talk to itself. Life is just easier that way.
So, to bring us back around to the situation at hand, I had no clue what to do about Vale, the hot-ass vampire dragging me through the woods.
I had no words to muster because, even though I lived in a town filled with supernatural events, and I watched a metric fuck-ton of fantasy media, none of it gave me access to any dialogue to use on the guy who had just drained me dry in more ways than one.
I tottered dizzily behind my vampire, wondering if he was bringing me deeper into the woods so he could kill me in privacy.
It was surprisingly lively for a place in the middle of nowhere, but maybe that was how magic folk did things.
They had to gather where the humans weren’t in order to get things done.
I wasn’t going to have the strength to keep going much longer.
I was tired, hungry, and desperately in need of a nap.
I could try to hold out until the vampire killed me, but I’d enjoy it more if I wasn’t exhausted and starving.
And after what happened a few minutes ago, I felt like I had a decent chance of getting fucked to death, so I wanted to be wide awake for that if it happened.
So, how did I go about getting something to eat? I was way too frazzled to come up with original words, so I dug for some unoriginal ones that might fit the situation with my vampire.
Hold on. The last show I’d binged was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Was I an idiot or something? I had plenty of material to work with.
I smacked my vampire’s arm to get his attention and said, “Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says, 'Please.’ And afterwards, I get a cookie.” It wasn’t a perfect fit, but it was as close as I could get considering the circumstances.
Vale dropped my hand and asked, “Who’s Giles?”
I shook my head and frowned because he was focusing on the wrong part. “Afterwards, I get a cookie.” I pointed at a nonexistent cookie in my hand, then repeated, “Cookie,” and tapped my invisible-cookie hand.
“You’re hungry.”
“I’m hungry,” I agreed. I wanted to add, so either kill me or feed me, but all I could add was, “Feed me, Seymore.”
The corner of Vale’s mouth lifted slightly, and he said, “Little Shop of Horrors?”
I nodded excitedly.
Vale examined me for a long moment with an inscrutable expression. “This is how you communicate.”
“This is how I communicate,” I said testily, rotating my hand to convey that we should cruise through that part of the conversation and get to the food or the murder.
I hated it when people pointed out how obvious it was that I didn’t fit in. It made it more difficult to disassociate and pretend like life wasn’t happening.
Vale scoffed. “Get over yourself, princess. Everyone worth knowing has something unusual about them. This barely touches my meter.” He touched a finger to his chin and said to more to himself than to me, “Though I should probably tell Gareth that he’ll need Apple to help translate.”
“Gareth?” Who was Gareth? Was Gareth going to help kill me? I’d far rather have Vale do it than some nebulous Gareth. He probably wasn’t half as hot as my vampire.
“My boss,” Vale said, as he pulled out his phone and typed something.
My excitement drained from me as I remembered what Vale said before rocking my world. “He’s going to ask me some questions and then send me on my way. After that, you and I will part ways, and I can go find some other dumbass to murder me.”
“Exactly. I’m glad to see you’re not as stupid as you look.” Vale didn’t look up from his phone as he answered.
“You’re exactly as stupid as you look,” I snapped.
Vale laughed softly, finally looking up from his phone. “That’s a terrible way to convince someone to kill you.”
“Tease,” I said without any effort.
It happens like that sometimes, but it’s rare. I have to be in a sweet spot of distracted and comfortable.
Heat flared in Vale’s eyes, and a muscle in his elegant jaw twitched. “Do you want me to tease you?”
He drew close to me, looking me over like I was a delicious treat to be consumed. My chest grew hot, and my breath stuttered.
“Do you want me to let you go and then secretly follow you?” He whispered in my ear, close but not touching. “Do you want me to follow you home, stalk your every waking hour, and watch you while you sleep?”
I bit my lip involuntarily. All of that sounded pretty fantastic to me, but I felt like there was a trap in his words, so I didn’t respond. My dick probably would have if I hadn’t just gotten off, so I was spared the indignity of giving Vale a one-man salute.
Vale began to circle me. I could feel his hot breath against the nape of my neck, and I shivered.
“Maybe after I got tired of the game, I would wait for you on a moonless night as you walk home. I’d make sure you knew I was there, but never show myself.
Only when you felt like you were safe at home, tucked away in your little bed, would I appear.
I would pin you down and fuck your tight little hole until you screamed for mercy, but I wouldn’t stop.
I would take and take and take until you were nothing but quivering flesh, and then, and only then would I drain you dry, giving you the sweet release of death. ”
Vale finished his circuit and stopped in front of me once more, taking my chin between two fingers and examining me coldly before saying, “Get over yourself, princess. I’m not your salvation or your escape.”
“Mean,” I whispered as hot, searing embarrassment flowed over me.
“Deal with it. Monsters are mean. We bite, we rend, we tear, we hurt, and we revel in every moment of it. Death isn’t pretty, and it isn’t sweet. It’s an ending. Only a child would think otherwise. I don’t eat kids and…” He scanned me from head to toe before sneering. “I don’t sparkle either.”
I didn’t know what to say. His cruelty cut deeper than anything I’d felt in a long time. I wanted to retort with something clever and witty. I wanted to deliver a reply as devastating as the performance he’d so easily given to me, but I had nothing.
I knew better than most how ugly and brutal death could be. I wasn’t actively seeking it out on the daily, but sometimes an urge overcame me to do something truly stupid and let the chips fall where they may.
Survival guilt, my therapist told me, can come in many forms. Coming to the woods had been a mistake. One I knew I was making as I made it. Vale’s callous words were a slap, waking me from a hazy, sparkling dream.
Did I want to die? Like, honestly, truly die? Or did I simply not want to be around anymore? There was a distinct difference between the two, and I knew it.
Sometimes I forgot and got caught up in a fog of the endless nothingness each day brought. That was when I did things like accept dates from strangers bearing red flags or go to parts of the forest where people often didn’t return from.
Even if I didn’t have trouble speaking, I still wouldn’t have had a response for Vale. Not a quote, not an echo, not even a sad little squeak.
Warm tears welled up in my eyes and began to spill down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them, and since Vale had made them appear, I didn’t try to hide them.
Vale’s cold facade faltered. It was quick, but for a second, there was a tiny twitch to one eyebrow.
Facade? I blinked up at Vale, stunned by my thought. It was true, though. The moment I realized it, everything about Vale fell into place. The way he spoke, the words he said, even the way he held himself. It was all one huge performance.
But the audience wasn’t me. It was himself.
Vale was spewing barbs and cruelty like it was his job, while all along his edges were countless fractures announcing that he was the target of all of it.
A sad smile touched my lips, and I reached up to stroke the telltale eyebrow.
“What are you doing?” Vale hissed.
I shrugged, continuing to cry, but also continuing to stroke his face. I was crying for both of us now, and I wondered if he knew it. How self-aware was Vale? Did he know what he was doing to himself? How much he hated who he was?
From my observation, most people didn’t have the first clue what they were thinking or doing at any given moment. I only had brief moments of lucidity. This was one of them, and I wanted to use it to its fullest.
“I promise I’ll keep your secret,” I said simply, giving Vale’s eyebrow one final stroke.
“What secret? That I’m a…not vampire?” Vale took a step backward.
I shook my head and, with a sad laugh, I repeated, “I promise I’ll keep your secret.”
Vale’s eyes narrowed, and I saw something happen behind them. A multitude of calculations and thoughts flew by, then blankness.
“Gareth is bringing you food,” he announced like nothing had happened. “I’ll drive.”
Before I had a chance to ask him what he meant, considering we were in the middle of the forest, he scooped me up and ran through the woods so swiftly I had to close my eyes to keep from getting dizzy.
Doesn’t sparkle, my ass. What a drama queen.