Chapter 12
TWELVE
S he’d done this before. This same female. Several years ago, Onyx had delivered another calf, only to lose it weeks later.
Slater and his guest were utterly silent as Xanthe rushed past them into the pilothouse where Lachlan stood manning the helm. “Onyx lost her calf.” She struggled not to cry. She hated being vulnerable in front of people, but she especially didn’t want to lose it in front of Slater.
“Ah, shit. You sure?” He winced. “Sorry. You’re sure.” The boat drifted slowly, bobbing along with the waves.
Xanthe felt totally helpless as the group from K Pod swam past them. Onyx was in the rear, struggling to keep up with the others. Fighting to keep her dead baby with her. Lifting it above the surface with her head every so often in a futile effort to help it breathe.
“It’s heart wrenching,” Xanthe whispered, overcome by the loss.
This was such a gut punch. To lose yet another calf so soon when their numbers were already so critically low.
To know that Onyx was grieving and in pain again.
Everyone had been so excited when little Nova was born. It had been national news.
Lachlan wrapped a comforting arm around her. Squeezed. “It’s shitty. Poor mama.”
She nodded and laid her head on his sturdy shoulder, her throat too tight to answer. But under the shock and sadness, a hot wave of anger was rising. This shouldn’t be happening. Not again. Why did this keep happening?
It took her a few minutes to regain her composure. Heart heavy, she called it in to the appropriate authorities. Then called Allistair so he could break the news to the others. He was just as devastated as she was.
Slater and Maddy were both standing, watching her as she stepped out from the pilothouse.
Maddy opened her mouth. Closed it, hesitated before speaking. “Is she carrying it because…”
“She can’t let her go. She keeps trying to help her breathe, either because she doesn’t realize she’s gone, or because she can’t accept it. Nova. That was the calf’s name.”
Maddy put a hand to her mouth, sorrow filling her deep blue eyes.
“She lost her previous calf too. A male. She did the same thing. Carried him for weeks until he decomposed.” Onyx’s maternal instincts, her palpable grief, had made international headlines.
“This is horrible ,” Maddy said softly, looking back out toward the orcas. Slater stepped up behind her and set a hand on her shoulder.
The gesture was comforting, his posture and stance protective, but not overtly romantic. Xanthe wasn’t sure what their deal was. And she told herself she didn’t care. Especially after what they’d all just witnessed.
Except part of her did.
She shoved all that bullshit out of her head. Slater was the enemy. She had work to do, was failing in her duty to protect these animals, and greedy people like him were part of the reason Onyx and the others were on the cusp of extinction.
“Sorry to put such a damper on our tour,” she told them, “but I’m gonna need a few minutes before we resume.” Without waiting for a response, she turned and headed for the stern so she could regroup in private.
Standing there staring at the retreating orcas in the distance, an overwhelming tide of grief filled her.
I’m sorry , she told Onyx. I’m so sorry this happened again, and that you’re hurting. I’m trying to help you. I want to help you all so badly, but I don’t know how, and I don’t know what more I can do…
Her eyes stung. She wiped at them impatiently, annoyed with herself. But that shift felt good, the building anger burning away the shock and sadness. These animals were suffering. Starving to death while their environment was being poisoned.
Her tears solved nothing. Changed nothing.
Onyx and the other Southern Residents needed her strength. Her knowledge. The hard, unflinching evidence she could gather, and the truth it laid bare. They needed her leadership and her intellect to force things to change.
Within minutes, the orcas disappeared from view. Vanishing into the sea. Swallowed by the hazy horizon, headed for a destination known only to them.
Only when she had a firm grip on herself did she turn around and head for the pilothouse. Lachlan’s gaze was sober. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged. Of course she wasn’t okay. Nothing about this was okay, it was horrifying and infuriating. “What’s the plan now?”
“You sure you want to keep going? I can take you?—”
“No, we’ll keep going.” Slater had paid a lot of money for this. Even if he could easily afford it, she wanted him to get his money’s worth, and Maddy seemed to have a deep respect for the whales.
“Okay. Allistair texted Nootka’s last known location, but he’s out of range. I think we’re best to head for the channels for now.”
“Sounds good.”
She climbed down the steel steps to the deck.
Slater and Maddy were both still staring at her in silence.
“We’re going to head east and check out some of the channels between the islands.
See what we can find there. We’ve got a group of sea lions that always like to hang out on the buoy marking the international border.
On a sunny day like this, they’re guaranteed to be napping on it. ”
“You don’t have to continue the tour,” Slater said, expression somber. “I know that must have been really upsetting for you. We can head back in?—”
“No. I’m good.” She was a lot stronger than he thought, and she refused to give him any excuse to view her as a weak, overemotional female.
She did her best for the remaining three hours, tried not to think of little Nova or poor Onyx.
They spotted another orca pod in the distance between two of the smaller islands, and an eagle catching a salmon in its talons.
The sea lions cooperated by literally covering the large buoy, scratching themselves as they napped on it like a pile of puppies in the sunshine while the bell clanged each time the waves moved it.
But the whole time, Xanthe felt the weight of her sadness. And when they finally arrived back at the dock in Whalebone Cove, she was emotionally drained and tired of peopling.
She stayed professional to the end, saying a polite goodbye to Slater and Maddy. As soon as they left, some of her internal tension eased.
She helped Lachlan get everything squared away. When they were done, she sat sideways on a straddle seat and closed her eyes to clear her head. Let the last rays of the autumn sun warm her face and the cry of the gulls soothe her troubled mind.
But the sense of failure remained.