Chapter 35
THIRTY-FIVE
O n the verge of drifting off in Xanthe’s arms, Blaine roused himself and pushed up on his elbows to drop a gentle kiss on her lips. God, she was incredible. Their chemistry was unreal, and this sweeter, softer side of her turned him inside out.
He couldn’t bring her home back from the ashes, but he could take care of her and shoulder some of the heavy burden she carried. Starting with helping her navigate all the insurance pieces. And he would keep putting pressure on the development group board to have the research center protected.
“Stay here.” Gently disengaging from her, he disappeared into the bathroom to ditch the condom and clean up, then returned to tug her under the covers with him.
She sighed as he gathered her against his naked body. He tucked her head under his chin and ran a soothing hand up and down her satin-smooth back. She felt so fucking perfect in his arms.
He ached for all she’d lost today. Was determined to protect her, shield her from more pain. “You hungry?”
“Famished.”
“Me too. Wanna stay here?”
“Yes.”
He’d figured. “I’ll order us something.”
“Do you ever cook?”
“Not unless I have to.” He kissed the top of her head, got out his phone, and they settled on a restaurant. Leaving her in the bed to rest, he took a quick, hot shower, and came back with a bathrobe and a cold glass of water for her.
The robe was huge on her, but he liked seeing it wrapped around her. As well as knowing how easy it would be to undo the belt and reveal the exquisite beauty beneath.
They ate dinner together on the balcony off his room. Then watched the sun set over the water while a nearby heater took the chill out of the air.
When Xanthe was done, he set her plate aside and hauled her into his lap to bundle them up in a blanket while they listened to the waves break on the charcoal-gray rocks below. He knew how much she loved the ocean. Hoped the sound of it soothed her now.
“This has to be one of the best views on the whole island,” she murmured.
“I think so too. It’s incredible.” He loved seeing her like this. Pride and prickles put away, cuddled up and relaxed with him. Trusting him in a way he vowed to earn every day if she would just give him the chance.
He was sinking deeper and deeper into unknown territory with her every hour.
As if she’d read his thoughts, she tilted her head to look up at him. “Just so we’re both clear… This is just fun between us, right? I mean, casual.”
Unbelievably fun. But for him, this definitely did not feel casual. It felt the opposite, and that was one hell of a revelation. No other woman had ever brought out these kinds of feelings in him. “Sure,” he said, not wanting to scare her off now that she’d finally let him in.
She shifted to face him more. Studied him. “So then, we’re free to see other people if we want? Since neither of us wants to be tied down.”
He couldn’t tell if she wanted to be able to see someone else or if she was testing him.
He hid his immediate reaction as best he could.
Because fuck no, he didn’t want to see anyone else, and he wanted her to see someone else even less.
Though he wouldn’t mind Xanthe tying him down at least once and letting her have her way with him.
But he sensed some unspoken anxiety beneath her words. As if the idea of commitment scared her. “You still want to see each other though, right?”
“Of course I do. I just wanted to have everything spelled out clearly here and now so there aren’t any surprises or hurt feelings.”
He was pretty sure she would be stunned by his true feelings. “Do we need to put a label on this right now?”
She blinked. Frowned. “No, I guess not.”
He smiled. “You’re adorable. But since you want everything spelled out, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. In your own room, if you don’t want to stay in mine.” Though he’d do everything in his power to change her mind.
“Three’s a crowd.”
“Not in this case. Maddy likes her own space, you’ll hardly know she’s here. And after she finishes with treatment?—”
“You said she wasn’t hurt.”
“It’s just mild whiplash, but I sent her to get some tests and treatment right away.”
“She’s coming back here after though, right?”
“Yeah, but she’ll only be here for another week at most, and she’s got her own space here. Why? Are you not comfortable with her?” Maddy was a good person and had been through her own traumatic experience. Xanthe needed to give her a chance.
“Did you two used to be together?”
He blinked in shock, finally understanding the underlying tension from her. “No.” But now that he thought about it, he could see why she might wonder. He should have realized it sooner. “It’s not like that.”
“Then how is it?”
He brushed a lock of her bangs away from a dark eyebrow. “We’ve been through some tough things together. Things she’s still working through.”
“What kind of things?”
He waited a beat, deciding how much to say. “She was taken captive in Syria.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah. It was bad.” He’d never forget the moment he’d found out she’d been taken.
Or seeing what they’d done to her in that cell when his team went in to rescue her.
“We trust each other. She feels safe with me, and she needed a safe space for a while after her most recent contract finished. So I invited her here.”
Xanthe nodded slowly, taking it in, then looked back out at the water. “Okay, I get it. And I appreciate the offer to let me stay, but I think that would muddy the whole casual thing. Willow’s place is for rent. I asked her about it the night of Mae’s dinner.”
He understood why she would want her own space, had to respect her needs.
Staying here for an extended stretch was too much for her, too soon.
Maybe it was for him too, but his gut told him it wasn’t.
He didn’t want to let her go, but he also knew that if he tried to hold onto her, it would make her pull away.
“Will you at least stay another day or two?”
“Depends.” She arched a brow at him. “Gonna make it worth my while?”
Chuckling, he kissed those pretty, upturned lips. “I’ll give it my best shot.”
They crashed early, fell asleep together naked with her back tucked against his chest, his arms locking her to him. In the middle of the night, he woke to the feel of her lips moving over his heated skin.
His whole body tightened when she slid down and took him in her mouth. Her fingers caressed secret, naughty places while she sucked on him and teased him with her tongue.
He gripped her hair. Fought to breathe as he shoved the covers back to watch her in the faint rays of moonlight streaming through the windows. The sight of her going down on him had him on the edge in seconds.
Just before he hit the point of no return, she stopped. Leaned over him to fish another condom from the drawer, and rolled it down him so slowly he broke out in a sweat.
He gripped her hips tight, felt like he was caught in the middle of a fever dream as she slowly sank down on him. Every gorgeous line of her long, lithe body was highlighted in silver while she rode him, one hand between her legs to play with her clit.
He held out for as long as he could, watching her climb along with him. They came almost at the same time.
Lying there afterward with her warm weight draped on top of him and his arms around her, he felt a profound level of peace he’d never imagined existed. They were so different, but his heart didn’t care about any of that.
She was incredible. Inspiring.
So if he wanted this to have a prayer of working, he needed to keep the depth of his feelings under wraps. She’d made it clear she wasn’t ready for serious. He had to wait. Give her time.
Even if that went against every instinct, because the way he felt about her was deadly serious.