7. Jayne #7
“Well,” Carly is saying, “I’m impressed that Damian is so…
persistent with you. Maybe you really should give him a chance, Jaynie.
But this party is an absolute hell no from me and from your father.
All I had to do was walk into Whole Foods, and I heard every mother whispering about it, so at this point, I doubt there will even be a party, or at least not one worth going to.
You girls are lucky I’m not grounding you through Christmas just for thinking of going to a party like that.
Don’t think your father and I didn’t discuss it. ”
When she mentions my dad for the second time, I hold back a laugh.
Steven is about as clued in to what is going on in his daughters’ social lives as a Labrador retriever would be on the finer points of Wagyu beef.
But, sure. If it gives her more weight behind the no, then I am willing to go with it, although I don’t understand how the fact that I am being the reasonable one in all this is still going to get me grounded. Shoot the messenger, much?
While I hate to admit it, I know she’s right.
Nothing good ever comes out of a rager at Trevor’s place, and now that Sadie and Liz have been caught red-handed, I’m a little relieved that I don’t have to be the one lying for them.
There isn’t much benefit to keeping them out of one kind of trouble just so they can get into a worse kind.
“But, Mom—” I start, more to make it seem as though I’m arguing than because I actually disagree.
“No buts, young lady. And whether you were planning on going or not, the fact that you were going to lie to our faces to cover for your sister is not okay. We raised you with more integrity than that. You and Sadie. Speaking of—”
And that’s when she yells my sister’s name.
Our house has old, thick walls, but the voice of Carly Cooper can permeate them as if they’re nothing.
At the sound of her battle cry, my dad suddenly appears too.
I have the feeling he was lurking just outside the kitchen until he was sure my mom was done lecturing me.
Steven has never actually given me a lecture or punishment himself, although it’s something he does frequently with Sadie.
I like to think it’s because when I get into trouble for something, it’s always the kind of thing that he’s secretly proud of me for doing.
Sure, I bend the rules, but I do it for a good reason.
And parties like this absolutely do not qualify as a good reason.
“So, your parents confronted you—all three of you, Sadie and Liz included—about this party?” Detective Hunt asks, making a note.
“Yes. Like I said, Detective, I really didn’t want to rat out my sister.
My mom already knew about it, which isn’t really a shock, considering how closely dialed in she is to the things that go on in Sadie’s social circle.
She just chose to bring it up to me because she figured that I probably wasn’t going and that I would be more likely to tell the truth about it. ”
“Which you did.”
“Which I did. And honestly, I don’t know if I did the right thing or not.
Because it didn’t stop Sadie and Liz from going, did it?
It didn’t stop anything about last night from happening, and it’s so hard not to imagine that if just one thing had been different…
If I lied to my mom, or if maybe I was harder on Sadie about not going, rather than just trying to be a good sister and offering to pick her up…
God.” I feel tears start to fall again, and I realize that the tiny packet of drugstore tissues the uniformed officer gave me earlier is empty.
“I guess that, as I’m telling you all this now, I’m realizing that I’m going to relive yesterday afternoon for the rest of my life.
Everything that happened, I’m just going to go over it again and again and again, aren’t I? ”
It’s a rhetorical question, but Detective Hunt answers.
“I’m sorry, kid,” he says, genuine empathy in his eyes.
“I wish I could tell you no, but I can’t.
What I can say is that it’s different from person to person.
How they handle it, I mean, once they’ve been through something like this.
And I can tell you’re tough and you’re strong.
I hope that means you’ll find a way to keep on going without letting this take over your life.
You deserve a brighter future than that. ”
“So did my sister,” I whisper.
He nods. “So did she. But now it’s just you left, and you have to live a life for both of you. Do you think you can do that?”
I touch the “Best Friends” necklace hanging around my neck again.
I can feel the outline of the half-heart shape.
I guess it’s a broken heart, really, if you think about it.
How do you go on when you’re suddenly alone in the sky after a lifetime of mirrored starlight?
When where once there were two, and now there’s just one?
Taking a deep breath, I meet Detective Hunt’s gaze. “I can do that,” I say. My voice does not waver.