Chapter 9
The rain continued much of the afternoon, and since Colin didn’t fancy attempting muddy, rutted roads and perhaps rendering the coach stuck or breaking a wheel, he consented to linger, making use of their private dining room to relax.
If they continued later in the evening, they could still reach the next posting inn at midnight and remain on schedule to reach Lancaster Hall by Christmas Eve night.
Plenty of time to still win his father’s wager.
But the biggest surprise of the day was the congenial companionship the three of them enjoyed that afternoon, almost as if after clearing the air of his excess emotions it had somehow started them over with a fresh slate.
He marveled, even speculated when, upon the times he’d caught Lucy’s eye, she offered him tentative smiles.
Perhaps she didn’t hate him or think less of him as he’d previously thought she might.
He didn’t know how to feel about the change, but he wasn’t going to argue with it.
Colin sat reading a copy of The Times by the fire while Lucy taught Ellen how to embroider, which had required him to sacrifice another handkerchief. He hadn’t minded, for it afforded him the opportunity to see the ladies interact.
With their heads together and the firelight flashing off the embroidery needles and the ring of their laughter rendering a cheerful atmosphere to the shabby room, the walls around his heart cracked and began to crumble.
This is what Ellen needed in her life, this gentle guidance and leading, this subtle encouragement on how to be an effective and helpful member of society, for among the conversation, Lucy provided quiet instruction on how a young lady should deport herself and act once achieving her Come Out.
Then his mind jogged to unmet dreams. Ellen could have been their child if fate hadn’t become skewed.
Colin laid down his paper and stared at the two ladies, unseeing.
What were Lucy’s children like? Did they resemble her or Jacob?
An ache in his heart flared and he absently rubbed the skin above that organ.
Jacob, his best friend and the man he’d never forgiven.
What an arse he’d been over the years. It hadn’t been Jacob’s fault Lucy fell in love with him after Colin had acted like a spoiled fool.
If he had the opportunity to live those years differently, would he?
In all honesty, probably not, for his stubborn determination had gained him a fortune in his own right.
Those risks Lucy couldn’t envision sprouting into solid investments had landed him on solid footing, and he’d never once needed to rely upon his father’s coffers or his charity.
When Ellen’s trill of laughter echoed, followed by the more rich and full chuckles from Lucy, a sigh escaped him.
He glanced at her, caught the gay flash in her eyes, the flush of the fire on her cheeks, the curve of her lips as she smiled at Ellen’s handiwork, he stifled a sigh.
Lucy had grown into beauty as the years had marched on.
Instead of the young, innocent girl’s body, she’d acquired womanly curves and experience, and she was no less appealing to him than she’d been all those years ago.
In her laughter, she was the same lady he’d fallen in love with.
What would a child of theirs look like? All those years ago, when they’d innocently explored together in the forgotten garret of Lancaster Hall and had spoken of their dreams, they’d talked of children and of having a family.
They’d built castles in the air before they’d known better, before the realities of life had intruded and made a mockery of those dreams, but Colin remembered.
Did she? Perhaps it was pointless to wonder, for they were here, and though they both had children, they weren’t a family, but were merely traveling companions. Lucy had her life; he had his.
And he loved her still, but she’d made it clear there was nothing for them in the future.
The rain had let up in the early evening, and when Colin roused himself enough to tell the ladies to prepare for travel, Ellen surprised him.
“Papa, when I was in the common room earlier, I heard some of the guests talking of a winter festival in the village tonight—through Christmas actually—and I think it would be ever so much fun to attend.” She stared up at him with excitement roiling in her soft brown eyes.
“May we go? There’s a band, and dancing, and food. ”
“We really should return to the road…” He began in dubious tones, but when he glanced across the room and met Lucy’s gaze, and a spark of interest lit those depths, his resolve weakened.
“Although, I don’t see the harm if we linger for another hour or so.
” Ellen clasped her hands and gave a hop of glee.
Colin smiled. “We shall resume our trip after that.” Surely the delay wouldn’t affect their arrival by the time demanded in his father’s letter.
After all, he’d made certain there was an extra day to allow for travel complications.
“Truly?” Ellen asked with an expression of shock and pleasure.
“Yes, truly. Am I such an ogre, then, that this little thing gives you so much joy?” He tweaked her nose, much as he’d done when she was small.
Her giggle squeezed his heart. “No, but you haven’t been fun for a long time. This is surprising.”
Heat snuck up the back of his neck. “I vow to do better, my girl.” And he would, after his emotional-laden conversation with Lucy.
“I’m glad to hear it.” Then Ellen’s countenance grew concerned. She tilted her head to one side. “Are you feeling better?”
“Absolutely.” He gave the top of her head a gentle pat. “Do not worry over me. I am working toward being a better father for you, but you must practice patience. Miracles do not happen overnight.”
She rolled her eyes. “It is the Christmastide season. They surely do.” Then she left him to join Lucy who lingered near the fire. “We’re going to the festival in the village. Isn’t that amazing?”
“It certainly is… surprising,” she agreed with a look at him.
Colin grinned. He executed a half-bow. “I live to serve, and if I can make my girls… er, make my daughter smile, then all to the better.” What a green mistake, that slip of the tongue.
He hadn’t any right to Lucy or her smile, but he’d damn well show her a good time in the hopes that something he did brought amusement to her.
Perhaps she’d remember…
Ellen gave him an inscrutable look, but finally, she nodded. “Are we dressed well enough?” She smoothed her hands down the front of her emerald green dress. “It’s hopelessly wrinkled, but I suppose you can order the luggage out…”
And have that become an hour-long production? Oh, no. “You both are splendid, beautiful even,” he said quickly. “Shall we away and discover the holiday wonders that await us at this winter fair?”
His daughter nodded with enthusiasm. “Oh, I have a feeling this jaunt will be the start of something amazing,” she said with all the excitement a fifteen-year-old girl could bring.
“I suppose we shall see,” he murmured as he once more peered at Lucy, who was busy packing away her embroidery supplies. I’m not hoping for amazing, but I’d settle for friendship.
Thirty minutes later, Colin and his party walked about the village festival.
Some of the grounds were muddy, but they avoided the worst of it in favor of drawing closer to the lively music played by a five-piece, rag tag band in a covered gazebo.
Lantern light and candles provided soft illumination and spots of golden color.
Laughter and the happy buzz of conversation filled the air.
Delighted cries and shouts from children rang out to punctuate the holiday spirit that clung to the whole scene.
The only thing missing was snow.
Here and there, wheeled carts and their vendors offered roasted chestnuts, cups of mulled wine, and other holiday delicacies.
Colin gladly gave Ellen the required coin and told her to indulge herself as much as she’d like.
She thanked him with a kiss to his cheek and then scampered away to explore the fair with shining eyes and rosy cheeks, as long as she promised to stay within eyesight.
With nothing else to do, Colin offered Lucy his arm. She’d been rather subdued ever since they’d arrived, and he aimed to pull out a smile or two, if he did nothing else. “Walk with me, Mrs. Ashbrook, while we watch the young people and remember our own irresponsible youth.”
Her lips almost curved into a smile, but after a moment or two of hesitation, Lucy put her hand through his crooked elbow. “We were hardly irresponsible.”
“You were most definitely not.” He glanced about the area and the gay antics of the village jugglers they walked past. Ellen had paused to buy a pastry from a cart vendor, and from the looks of the blush in her cheeks, the young man did his level best to flirt with her.
No wonder, for she was a vision with her blonde ringlets and shining eyes.
A sigh escaped him. “Ellen is nearly a woman. It happened so fast I’ve missed it.
” How many times over the past years had he escaped into drink in an effort to numb himself to the memories and in the course of forgetting remained absent from the present?
“You are here for her life now. Don’t waste the second chance.” The hood of her navy cloak hid her face from his view. “She’ll need you more than ever during these years. Heaven knows my two keep me as busy as when they were young.”
“What are they like, your children?” Perhaps in learning about her life, he could find the key of rekindling that spark they’d used to enjoy.
“They bicker a good portion of the time.” A tiny smile curved her kissable lips. “I don’t suppose they’ll ever grow out of that.”