Chapter 2 #2
The past slapped her across the face as if Tobias were still alive. She brought a trembling hand to her cheek, thankful there was no physical pain, only the coldness of her hand. She could barely reason her way through her own emotions, let alone vocalize what was on her mind.
When she didn’t respond, Beata said on a sigh, “Mrs. Smith is asking for you.”
She sucked in a deep breath as she stood, then smoothed her hands down the front of her dress. “I will go to her at once.”
She started to move past Beata, when her friend insisted, “Perhaps he’s here for a different reason, one that he may not even know yet.”
“Beata—”
“Yes, I know. It’s not that simple.”
No, it wasn’t. Love and feelings never were. But Grace could not dwell on the past. She’d finally found contentment at the Home. It would be for the best if she remembered that, especially whenever Edward was near.
And then Beata added in a kind tone, “I also know how you feel about him. Just think about what I’ve said.”
She placed a hand on Beata’s arm. “Thank you, my friend,” she said, then took her leave. A few short minutes later, she was entering Mary’s room. “Mrs. Kirkby said you wanted to see me.”
The young woman worried her hands that rested on her large belly. “Molly told me that the visitor earlier was a duke.”
Alarm bells ringing louder than the church bells on a Sunday morning resounded through Grace’s head. She looked into Mary’s green eyes, so similar to… No, she couldn’t be…
“Lady Winifred?”
Tears streamed down the young woman’s cheeks. “Please don’t tell Edward I’m here! He’ll be furious and then he’ll tell Mamma and…” Her hands flew to her face as fierce sobs shook her entire body.
Grace sat on the bed and brought the younger woman within the folds of her embrace.
“Shh.” Minutes passed before the tears stopped and Lady Winifred’s breathing eased.
Grace pulled back and wiped the damp locks of hair away from her face, then studied her features.
She was young indeed, too young to be in such a situation.
“If I’m to help you, I must know the entire business. ”
“You’re not going to send me back home?” Lady Winifred sniffled.
“You’re in no condition to go anywhere. The weather is dreadful, and it is almost Christmas Eve.” Grace let out a long sigh. “Why don’t you tell me exactly what happened and let’s see if we can’t decide upon a course of action.”
Lady Winifred nodded her head in agreement.
Long, countless seconds passed before she finally spoke in a soft tone.
“There… there was a young man…” She cleared her throat.
“Who worked in our stables. Oh, he was so good with the horses, and so caring, and…” She looked down at her belly.
“He said he loved me, and we…” She shook her head before raising her gaze.
“I thought he loved me. We only… you know… once. When Mother learned I had been spending time with him, she locked me in my room. I snuck out once, but it was too late. He’d left Tavistock Hall.
A few weeks later, Mother sent me to Bath with her sister. ”
“Were you in Bath this whole time?”
“Yes. For the first few months, everything was wonderful. There are so many diversions there, but then I realized I’d missed my courses, and I’d gained a little weight.
There was some gossip, and the next thing I knew, Aunt Marcia insisted we travel to her estate near Brampton.
But I didn’t want to go there. My lady’s maid had heard of the Home for Desolate Ladies, and she helped me to come here. ”
“And what happened to your maid?”
“She returned to her parents’ home.” Sadness filled Lady Winifred’s eyes. “She said her mother was ill, and she didn’t want to be away from her.”
Grace’s head spun. Despite her own past and history with Edward, one thing was for certain; she could not keep this information from him. She was all too aware of what it was like to suffer in silence.
“I think it to be for the best if His Grace is informed that you are in residence.”
Lady Winifred chewed her lip for a moment before murmuring, “I suppose I have no choice,” then quickly added in a shaky voice, “Will you tell him about the baby? I don’t think I can bear the look of disappointment when he learns what I’ve done.”
“Your cousin is a good, kind man.” Grace could never fault Edward for how much he cared for his family.
It was one of the many things that had endeared him to her.
“And despite what you believe, this is not entirely your burden. It takes two to make a baby.” Grace knew she was in no position to lecture the girl about her fall from society.
She would offer friendship and advice on lessons learned instead.
“I suppose you’re right. But will you tell him just the same?”
Heat began to rise, consuming Grace’s body.
This isn’t about you and Edward, this concerns Winifred.
“Of course, I will.” She swallowed down the hard lump in her throat, and standing, rubbed her damp palms together.
“Also, I believe it’s best that no one knows your true identity at this time.
” She was not going to take any chances with regard to possible rumors. Even walls had ears.
Lady Winifred offered a smile. “Thank you, Mrs. Banks.”
“You’re welcome.” Now it was time for her to face His Grace. “Get some rest. I will check on you later.”
As she left the young woman’s room, her stomach churned and cramped as a rush of emotions stormed her body, transporting her into the not-so-distant past, when she’d first learned the man she loved was engaged to another, followed by weeks of uncertainty, then marriage to a monster.
She didn’t know if she had the strength to meet Edward again.
Perhaps if she only thought of him as His Grace, then she would survive his brief visit.
You can do this. Just remember, the past is in the past.
“Is anything the matter?” Mrs. Elkins said as she approached. “You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”
Grace detested lying, but in this case, the truth was far too personal. “I’m concerned for our youngest guest.”
The older woman tsked several times. “Yes, as am I. Someone so young should not have to endure such heartache, especially alone.”
“She’s not alone.”
Mrs. Elkins raised a curious brow.
Grace quickly added, “Mrs. Smith has all of us.” It was the truth.
She would ensure Lady Winifred did not go through this by herself.
She cleared her throat, thinking about the next task at hand.
“I need you to have one of the footmen deliver a note to His Grace immediately.” Better to get the meeting over and done with so she could concentrate on Christmas.
“Yes, Mrs. Banks.”
A brief time later, His Grace was staring at her from the opposite sofa, waiting for her to speak.
Not even the bright cheeriness of the room could chase away the dreariness that was consuming her.
Countless minutes had passed, and all she’d muttered was some inane greeting. This was Edward, not some stranger.
That was exactly the issue. This was Edward, the man she’d fallen in love with, the man she knew… intimately. But now, he was also the man who was a duke, and she was nothing more than a disgraced widow. Just remember he’s not Edward, he’s Your Grace.
“You’re probably wondering why I asked for you to come so soon after your earlier visit?”
“I was hoping you would,” he said in a suggestive tone that sent her pulse racing.
Oh dear. Heat consumed her cheeks. Why was he tempting her to… Keep to why you asked him to come. “Regardless, Your Grace, there is—”
“I prefer you not use my title, especially when we are alone.”
Odd. Most men would be thrilled to be a duke, to have the ton at their feet. But then again, he was not like most men. Damn. Despite everything, his good qualities outweighed…
That’s still no excuse for what he did.
The moment she looked into his green eyes, her heart begged for understanding and a second chance. Damn, she needed to guard her heart.
“Grace?”
“Yes?” she whispered, then exhaled, remembering why she’d asked him here. “There is a matter of great urgency.”
“Is it Winifred? She’s here?” His words were tender yet anxious. He clearly cared for his cousin.
Despite her inner turmoil and their past, she knew she was right in meeting with him. “Yes.”
His brows drew together. “She won’t see me, will she?”
This was difficult, not just for her, but for him. No matter what had happened in the past, she didn’t want to cause him pain.
“Not yet.” She inhaled deeply, preparing herself for what was to come next. “First, there is something you should know.”
She relayed the entire story, and when she’d finished, he sat motionless for several minutes, as if allowing the words to seep into his mind.
“Why didn’t she send word?”
“I think she was too frightened. She’s young and inexperienced with the ways of the world.”
“Clearly not that inexperienced,” he said with sarcasm.
The words flowed past her lips as if of their own accord. “Sometimes the heart leads the mind into dangerous waters.”
“Grace—” he started in that familiar tone that always sent a wave of tingles straight down to her toes.
He looked as if he wanted to say more, but before he could, Beata rushed into the room. “Mrs. Banks, you’re needed upstairs.”
He eyed her, then lowered his voice for her ears only, “We will continue this later.”
She turned a firm gaze on him. “No, we will not. Good day, Your Grace. Please see yourself out.”
And with that, she hurried from the room with Beata following close behind.
Once clear of the drawing room, Grace whispered to Beata, “Your timing was impeccable.”
“Mrs. Elkins informed me that His Grace had arrived nearly twenty minutes ago. That seemed an awfully long time for you to only be discussing his cousin, and… well, I know how you feel.”
“Thank you. I’m just not ready...”
Beata closed the distance. “You don’t need to explain.”
The two women shared a similar story. Both had been ill-treated by their late husbands, and both had lost babies. And now each was trying to forge a new path and escape the demons of the past.
“I suppose I should let our guest know what transpired.”