19. Ambrose #2
“That day I pushed you in the lake, I didn’t mean what I said about you pawning your loot. I was hurt at the picnic when you mentioned me having all the power in our relationship. Then you told me to leave you alone, and I just… wanted you to hurt too. But I went too far.”
“That shit I said about power was unfair, because I was the one who clammed up instead of speaking my mind. I was just so afraid of losing you and our friends.”
My brow furrowed. “I’m so sorry for making you feel powerless. That was never my intention.”
“I know. You were only being your adorable, adventurous self. I would never change that about you.” Zeth’s gaze roamed over me as he shifted in his chair to sit closer.
“In fact, I long to see more of the old Amby. My feisty Rosie. I want a second chance with him, honestly sharing our fears and dreams this time. Do you think we can do that?”
I smiled at him, choking back tears. “You trying to make me cry over here? Yes, I want that for us. I want to show you how much I care about you.”
“Good, because you already opened my book and now you’re stuck reading my story.”
“Oh, I like reading stories. Tell me more?”
Zeth’s lips quirked. He opened his mouth before squinting at the blackboard, looking hesitant and a little worried.
“I have a lot I’ve written from the past nine years of my life that I need to explain.
I’m just not sure how to flip the page. I guess…
I’m still a little afraid that if I let you in, I might lose you. ”
“Zeth…” I said, placing my other hand beneath his to capture it between both my own. “I just got you back. I’m willing to do anything to keep you. You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me.”
Leaning over, Zeth stole a kiss before whispering against my mouth, “Thank you.”
I licked my lips as he stood from his desk and strolled over to the board before us to claim an eraser.
“I think this will help.” Zeth cleaned off the graffiti with wide strokes of his long arms. He looked like a teacher, no doubt appearing the same as his father.
I’d never met his father before, but the last I heard, he’d left Everdeen to instruct at an academy in Port Winchester and never returned to his family.
It was something Zeth never opened up about as a kid, but I hoped he might feel comfortable enough to talk about it with me soon. I’d give him all the time in the world.
Once the board was clean, Zeth set the eraser back into its tray and glanced over at me briefly. Then he pulled up a broken piece of chalk to draw a small circle on the board. The circle was only as big as a fingerprint, and I tilted my head at it, wondering what he was drawing.
“Leaving Everdeen was hard for me,” he started, tapping the spot he just drew. “I had a small circle of friends and family, and I did everything I could to keep that circle happy. Business at the laundry slowly failed until Mum had to take Millie and me to the City so she could find factory work.”
Zeth stepped to his right and drew a massive circle this time. It was off-center, but I found it cute and smiled.
He made a dot within the massive shape. “And this was me, a little nobody in a huge new city. The capital is massive. I was so…” His shoulders tensed and raised under his jacket while he searched for words.
“I was angry. I left my home and friends behind, and life wasn’t any better for it.
The factory refused to pay Mum an honest rate during her probationary period, so we lost our first apartment and had to move into a charity house.
That dashed my hopes to finish school. I set out to help pay the bills, begging store to store for work until an auction house agreed to apprentice me. After that, we settled down.”
I imagined him trying to get a grasp on his emotions while in a new place, stepping up and taking charge to help his family. He held courage and strength that I wished I possessed myself.
Zeth drew a slightly larger circle around his dot.
“When the auctioneer went to estates, I tagged along and made new connections. Eventually, my circle grew to include business associates and wealthy elites. A few months ago, the Mayor’s son even asked me to attend the opera with him in his private box.
” His face turned into a blank slate, and his voice steadied out to sound like a teacher.
“I achieved success in my social life and in my field. I even started payments to lease a building across town to open my own auction house.”
Impressed, I waited for Zeth to draw that business on the board, but he picked up the eraser instead and slowly wiped away the collection of city circles.
“Then, during a big estate sale, boxes of items began to disappear, and my logs didn’t match the inventory.
No matter how hard I tried to make the numbers add up, they didn’t.
When I showed the client, she accused me of thievery, but…
” Zeth looked out the classroom window. “It was the client’s son.
He stole the boxes because his greedy mother was going to auction it all off and leave the country.
I meant nothing to them, just someone to take the blame.
Their family squabble cost me my job and livelihood. ”
As Zeth stared at the board, I was left dumbfounded. “Wait, you mean you… built up a reputation and had a good job, but someone betrayed you and had you fired?”
“Yes, exactly.” Zeth turned toward me. “That family spread vicious rumors around the City about me seducing and stealing. The mayor himself even snubbed me for ruining his son’s name.
Nothing I said, all my hard work… it didn’t change a damn thing.
I even lost the advance payments on the building because my contract had a morality clause.
I was ruined. Then Mum got sick, and I couldn’t even make her last days comfortable. ”
I gripped the sides of the desk hard. Zeth watched his mother suffer because he lost everything he had. He’d endured too much for one person to handle. Remorse hit me tenfold that I hadn’t been there for him when she passed, just as he’d been for me.
“What about your father?” I asked in disbelief. “He was there in the City. He never…”
Zeth stared at the eraser as he rotated it in his fingers.
“He didn’t know we moved closer, and I didn’t have the guts to find him.
Not even when Mum needed help. I can’t tell you how many times I walked past the academy gates in her last days.
Maybe he was in there, or maybe he was dead.
Either way, I was too scared to learn the truth. ”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I knew what I was feeling, which was anger for Zeth’s father never being around for him growing up. But the man wasn’t even deserving of anger, or any other emotion, nor even a thought. So I grit my teeth and let Zeth finish.
He stayed quiet as he placed the eraser down to point at the tiny Everdeen circle that started his demonstration. “So here we are again. Only now, I’m a grown man who can’t get work without employer references. I have no way to support myself… or you.”
No wonder Zeth tried to win Annabelle’s hand. He was desperate to survive, to protect Millie and himself. If I could, I’d give him everything he needed, and more. If only my father wasn’t standing in my way. But…
I could give him comfort. I knew how to give that.
Rising from the desk, I made my way over to him. I grabbed his arms and pulled him against me into a tight embrace. Zeth’s arms instantly wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly, and I raised my head so I could rest my chin on his shoulder.
“So many people wronged you, and you didn’t deserve any of it.
I hate that you and Millie had to go through all this alone.
I wish I had been there for you when your mother…
” I couldn’t finish the words, as my voice cracked.
Damn my emotions, but this time I let them out as I pulled away and looked at him.
“You don’t have to worry about being alone again. I’m here for you.”
Zeth nodded and glanced away at the board, and I deflated, wondering if he was going to stop talking to me. But then he sniffed and wiped an eye with the back of his chalky hand, and I realized he was holding back tears.
“Well… I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I leaned up to kiss the wet spot right near his eye. Then I kissed him again, and again, pecking tender kisses along his cheek, until he clutched me against him and exhaled roughly into my hair.
His voice was shaky as he replied, “You’re so mean. Now I believe what they say about redheads.”
“That we’re daring in bed?” I tilted my head up at him. “That’s another common phrase.”
Zeth cracked a smile before he broke into a deep laugh that filled the school room, and my heart. “You’re a blessing, Amby. I’ve missed your adorable humor in the last nine years, two months, and twenty-six days since we parted.”
His obsession with counting was humorous. To me, the numbers all blurred, but I did recognize one odd thing… “Wait a minute, that number was smaller before. Have you been counting our days apart this whole time, even since we met at the picnic?”
“Well, yes, and I hope you don’t mind if I count today as our first day back together, officially.”
“You mean, as in courting?”
“Aye, I want to go on walks in the park with you and kiss under the trees, and do whatever else adult men do on dates. Maybe drink tea.”
Zeth sounded so innocent, he made me laugh.
Something deep in my soul revived. An energy connecting us both.
The very man I’d hurt so long ago still wanted me, so much that he was willing to give me—give us —a second chance.
Feeling grateful, I took his hands in mine and squeezed them with the reassurance that I would never hurt him again. I was so happy.
But then a sense of dread passed over me at the thought of what my father would think of me and Zeth courting. The idea of telling him terrified me, and his possible rejection would hit me hard.
“What are you thinking so long about, Amby?” Zeth’s forehead wrinkled in concern. “You’ve got me nervous.”
“I’m sorry, I am thinking.” Pulling away, I took off my cap and ran my hand over my hair as the burning anxiety climbed up my throat. “It’s my father. I just…”
Looking over at the blackboard, I secured my cap back on and grabbed the piece of chalk to draw a stick figure. Pointing at it, I explained, “That’s me.”
Zeth’s lips twitched slightly with amusement before he crossed his arms and met my gaze. “Alright.”
“And this is you.” I drew another stick figure with a line extended out to touch my stick figure’s hand, and drew a heart between us.
This time, Zeth chuckled delightfully, and there was something in the way he looked at me that melted me. Especially as he leaned forward to say, “You’re fucking adorable.”
I wrinkled my nose at that comment, then made a bigger figure at a distance that represented my father. I wrote out the words ‘LEGACY’ and ‘BANK’ behind him, and childishly gave him an angry expression. Drawing a big line, I divided us and him.
I stepped back to glance over at Zeth. He appeared to be taking me seriously.
“That’s my biggest obstacle, and if my father doesn’t approve of our courtship, then he may cut me off.
I’ll have nothing to give you but myself and a low-paying job as a bank courier, maybe not even that.
So…” I put the chalk down and faced him.
“I need you to know there’s not much I can promise you besides my devotion. ”
Zeth stared at me for a moment before asking, “Do you want to be with me?”
He was sensing my hesitation, so I clutched his hand, feeling the aura ring I gave him on his pinky. I rubbed the smooth stone as I looked at him desperately. “More than anything.”
“Good,” he sighed with relief before standing taller.
“Then I need you to work with me. I don’t think your dad hates me, so there’s hope we can win him over.
Help me find a way into your father’s esteem.
Then we can work on changing his mind about your role in his legacy.
As my mum said, where there’s a Washer, there’s a way. We’ll erase that line together.”
I blinked at him in surprise. “You… want to try and gain his blessing?” When Zeth nodded, looking so certain, I filled with bliss at the idea of gaining my father’s approval. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep you, though I admit I’m terrified.”
“So am I, and I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. But I’m tired of holding my troubles in and letting fate choke me. This time, we’re speaking our fears and seeking solutions. This is a new start for us.”
Hearing how excited Zeth was had my stomach full of so many butterflies. If I did this with him, I would have to eventually confront my father. And I’d do it, but I needed time to prepare.
I met his eyes and nodded. “Just please promise you’ll be patient with me.”
“I can do that.” Zeth agreed as he caressed the edge of my jaw. “You mean the world to me. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You have me, and I’m never letting you go. That’s my promise.”