Chapter 13
Alaina found herself wandering the halls of the Ashford manor the next morning, a bundle of nerves and anticipation.
She knew she had to end her courtship with the duke, and had no wish to hurt Graham or his family.
However, it was her unfinished conversation with Christopher that weighed most heavily on her mind and her heart.
Since the prior evening had been the last night of the party, most of the guests had departed early in the morning, directly following a buffet-style breakfast. Unlike the previous few days, there was no set time for the meal, and so Alaina, Charlotte, and Evelina had only encountered one other guest, Lady Drake, Georgiana’s friend from Cornwall.
They had eaten in relative quiet compared to the previous evening, each person only contributing niceties and small talk about the weather and other such things.
Alaina had been relieved that Graham had not made an appearance.
Georgiana had invited the three of them to stay on for a few days after the party since, in her words, the party planners needed rest following such an event.
This allowed Alaina the freedom to roam the house.
Charlotte and Evelina had gone back to their chambers after breakfast, each claiming exhaustion from the night before, leaving Alaina to her own devices near the library.
It had been in Charlotte’s mind, at least, that Alaina may need some time to reflect, or just to read and be with her thoughts.
In truth, Alaina had no intention of remaining stationary; she was too worried to sit still.
It was also her most fervent wish to talk to Christopher and finish their conversation, if for no other reason than to put the matter to rest, one way or the other.
Though wandering the halls could be construed as nosy or untoward, Alaina felt that it increased her chances of encountering Christopher, even if that meant also a chance of encountering the duke.
When her mother and sister had made their way to the stairway leading upstairs, Alaina had feigned in the direction of the library, simply passing the doors, making her way slowly down the hall in the direction of the stables.
Pausing every so often to look over a portrait of some previous duke or duchess, or a landscape painting, Alaina tried to appear calm and without purpose.
However, on the inside, she was jittery, hoping that at every doorway to a darkened parlor or bend in the hall, she would see Christopher.
She was equally nervous to encounter the duke.
As Alaina rounded the last corner before the door to the stables at the end of a long hallway, she heard muffled voices.
Feeling her feet pick up speed she began to search for the source, even poking her head into a few of the open doorways on her right, only to find darkened rooms, each appearing to have a slightly different purpose or décor.
Alaina had just found yet another sitting room, this one so decorated in a rose motif that she could envision herself in the middle of a bouquet, when the door to the outside stables opened and the muffled voices became clear as Graham and Christopher entered the hallway.
The sudden change in sound and situation startled Alaina, and she could feel herself blush at the possibility of being caught snooping. Before she could exit the rose parlor’s door completely and turn around, she heard the voices stop, along with the accompanying footsteps.
“Alaina?” came the surprised greeting from Graham.
“Graham,” Alaina quickly righted herself and turned around, bobbing a curtsey in quick acknowledgement and turning the same to Christopher, who was situated directly beside the duke. “Christopher.”
“Well, is this not a pleasant surprise? Forgive my manners, I was just flummoxed to see the person who was just on my mind,” Graham said, recovering from his initial shock.
“I had hoped to seek an audience after I cleaned up from my ride, but it seems fate has decreed this to be the opportune moment, Alaina. Would you do me the honor of an audience in my study? I would also like your mother there, if possible. Christopher, would you be so kind as to fetch Lady Charlotte? I assume she is in her room?”
This last question had been directed to Alaina, who nodded her affirmation.
Before Christopher could respond, Graham presented his arm to Alaina and started to lead her back down the hallway she had just been exploring.
Christopher followed along in silence as they all made their way toward Graham’s study, located just opposite the main staircase.
No one spoke, each lost in their own thoughts and anxieties.
As they passed the stairs, Alaina heard the click of Christopher’s boots steer away from them and ascend the large marble staircase to the upper chambers, obviously intent on seeking out Lady Charlotte for the upcoming conversation.
Graham’s study was just across from the breakfast room, and he left Alaina’s side briefly to greet the scattered few guests still eating breakfast before departing.
As Alaina watched Graham easily converse, totally at ease in his own home, she thought about the possibility of sharing a home with someone; standing at their side, and laughing at some inanity or giving a teasing look to them when it suited her.
The difficulty in this rumination was that Alaina could only picture standing by Christopher’s side.
Graham was a wonderful, caring, and handsome individual, but she had waited too long, taken too much time to know her heart and her mind.
Alaina may never get the opportunity to tell Christopher how she felt.
And now she was faced with the fact that there may never be any formal connection between her and the marquess.
It was possible that the machinations of her mother and the dowager duchess would have still seen her entertaining courtship with the duke, but from the first, Alaina had been drawn to Christopher.
Standing on the precipice of a possible proposal from the duke, Alaina knew what she had to do, but wondered if she had the courage.
It was possible that after today, Alaina may never even see Christopher again.
He had looked stunned by her question on their possible future, and his lack of answer on his thoughts of marriage had been a response on its own, and though he seemed interested in her, perhaps without the force of the duke’s friendship, Christopher would not seek out her company on his own.
That thought gave Alaina pause. Doubt crept into the back of her mind when she thought of Christopher; maybe he only wished for a dalliance, all his beautiful words said for every purpose except for marriage.
Alaina heard a pair of footsteps approaching from behind. Turning only enough to confirm who approached, Alaina averted her gaze, suddenly unsure of what she should do, and acutely aware of what heartbreak may lay in the future, both her own and that of the duke.
Graham also saw his friend and Charlotte approach, and deftly excused himself from his guests, making his way back to Alaina’s side, seemingly unaware of the tension that to Alaina felt obvious.
Presenting his arm again to Alaina, Graham cleared his throat. “Shall we?” He motioned toward his study.
Alaina nodded and followed ever so slightly behind Graham, keeping her hand on top of his arm. A surreptitious glance over her shoulder allowed her to see that Christopher and her mother followed only a few steps behind.
As they neared the door to Graham’s study, Graham turned to Alaina’s mother and questioned, “Would it be ok to have a moment alone with your daughter, Lady Charlotte? You and Christopher would be just outside the door for only a few moments, and we would keep the door slightly open for propriety.”
“That would be fine with me, as long as it is ok with Alaina,” her mother smiled warmly at Graham, and then glanced at her daughter.
“That is fine,” was all Alaina could manage, unable to meet Christopher or Graham’s eyes.
Having gained Charlotte’s approval for their semi-private tête-à-tête, Graham opened the door to his study, allowing Alaina to enter. He followed her, leaving the door slightly open.
Alaina looked around the duke’s study, taking in her surroundings in an attempt to delay the discussion, if only for a moment.
During the past few days, Alaina had observed the diversity of styles throughout the duke’s country manse.
It seemed that every parlor, dining room, and bedchamber had different décor, ranging from the overwhelmingly floral room she had just walked from to more serene surroundings.
The house seemed to hold the characters of every generation of Ashford women, with very few truly masculine touches.
It was this that made Graham’s study stand in stark contrast.
The space was distinctly masculine, with dark leather chairs and rustic animal skin rugs scattered about the floor.
Even with the large windows on the wall opposite the door, the darkness of the room meant that Alaina’s eyes took a moment to adjust to her surroundings.
As she looked around, she saw piles of papers, some on the large desk in front of the window, and others scattered around the room, on small side tables or on piles of books on the floor.
A fire burned bright on the far side of the room, lending warmth.
From her time spent with Graham, Alaina could surmise that he had little to do with the décor, but everything to do with the books she saw about, even a few they had oft discussed.
The dark furnishings and hunting lodge style did not match Graham’s charming and kind personality, but the controlled mess certainly transformed the study into a perfectly imperfect place.