Chapter Twenty-Four
Aster ended the kissand stepped away from me with a bow, keeping one of my hands trapped in his. I tried to wrestle my fluttering pulse under control and keep my face blank, not wanting to show our captive audience my myriad of confusing emotions.
He plastered on his charming smile, but couldn’t hide the fire smoldering in his eyes or the shortness of his breath. The prince was as affected as I was. Maybe more so.
The missing piece inside me clicked into place. Shit, I was in trouble. My other kindreds approached and Whist pulled me away to grab drinks. I needed one. Badly.
“That was incredibly hot, gorgeous.” He handed me a brandy.
I took a long, grateful sip. “Yeah, he sort of sprang it on me.”
“A very Aster move. He didn’t push you into it, did he?”
“No. I—no.”
Whist snorted. “Nothing wrong with wanting it. Or him. Even without the kindred bond, he has the sort of presence that draws you in.”
Something in his tone caught my attention. “You too, huh?”
He glanced over at Aster through the crowd, memories in his eyes. “When we were younger, we had some fun together.”
“You guys are killing me.” Imagining them together deepened the lust pressing heavily on me, stoked the fire already burning in my stomach.
Whist loomed over me. “I’ll release some of that tension for you in just a little bit, gorgeous. We can invite Aster if you want. Even if it’s just to watch.”
“Does he like to watch like you?” I couldn’t stop wondering what he was like, what he liked. Stupid Sky put the thoughts in my head.
Whist’s chest rumbled with a deep laugh. “Definitely not. It would drive him crazy.”
“You’re a little evil, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely, gorgeous.”
A wave of something ugly and painful washed over me when I caught sight of the prince. He was leading a beautiful woman in a dance, smiling down at her, her body way too close to his. He said something to her and they both laughed together and I almost drowned in the uncomfortable feeling.
I jerked my attention away from them, reminding myself he owed me nothing and I certainly didn’t owe him anything either. He was a prince, full of charm and false smiles. I refused to let him play me as easily as the glittering people in this room.
“How much longer do we have to stay?” I asked, wanting nothing more than to escape the stifling room.
“Well, you’ve been introduced to the nobility, had a public dance with your kindreds, so another hour and it won’t cause offense.”
“Good. This is not my scene.”
“Mine either.” He pulled me by my elbow. “Come on. My mother made the food for this thing, so you know it’s delicious.”
I let him tow me towards the waiters carrying platters of food. He snagged a few things and plopped one of them into my mouth. I groaned at the delicious flavors exploding against my tongue.
“What was that?” I wanted seven more.
“Wine soaked berries and soft cheese tart.”
I licked the remains from my lips. “You need to steal her recipe and make it for me again.”
“Deal. Here, try a bacon wrapped peach slice.” He held out the piece of fruit.
I opened my mouth and my eyes popped wide. “What is that sauce?”
“Balsamic glaze. I take it I need that recipe too?”
“Hell yeah. Would it hurt your feelings if I told you your mother is even more talented than you are?”
“Of course not. I already know that.”
I shrugged. “Sorry.”
He shook his head down at me fondly. “No you aren’t, you gorgeous devil.”
I grinned, unrepentant. “Nope.”
He grumbled a curse. “You’ve been spending too much time with Sky. He’s wearing off on you.”
“Maybe. Or he released a part of me I didn’t realize I had.” So much of my life I’d spent alone. As much as I lusted after Sky and was coming to love him, I enjoyed the friendship which had sprung up between us. He was fun and goofy and I enjoyed him bringing out a lighter side of me.
All three of them matched me in some perfect way. Sky with his flirting and fun. Saber with his sweetness and art. And Whist with his darkness and determination. I wondered what part of me matched Aster.
“Where are Sky and Saber?”
Whist pointed to the crowd of dancers. Saber and Sky were entwined in the center of the dance floor, swaying and spinning to the music, lost in each other’s eyes. I pressed into Whist’s side as we watched them, a soft smile spreading on my lips. It reminded me of the first time I played for them, the first time I realized there was something beautiful between them.
Whist leaned over to whisper in my ear. “Do you see the surprise on everyone’s faces?”
My brows furrowed as I ripped my focus away from my kindreds and searched the expressions of the others watching them. Whist was right, there was a lot of confusion and judgment.
“I do. Why?”
“We told you how most core kindreds wouldn’t accept relationships within the group. It’s very rare. Hell, all our bonds are completely unusual. Most of them are like Indigo’s. Lysander and Elora didn’t know each other before they met Indigo, they were strangers like most kindreds. And they are friends and love each other like family, but they don’t have a romantic relationship unless they’re both with Indigo. She probably wouldn’t mind if they did, but neither have any interest. But even Indigo is unusual. Most core members of a kindred group larger than two want to be the center. But you? You want us to have relationships with each other. It makes you happy and turns you on. The people here don’t understand it.”
“I don’t give a shit if they don’t understand it. It doesn’t matter what they think, they don’t get an opinion or say in what we have.” I seared the crowd with a glare.
“I know. Which is why we adore you and thank whatever force brought us together every day for choosing you for us.”
“So it’s strange that you four were all close?” I hated how little I still understood the bond. Having no friends or family growing up kept my knowledge sadly lacking.
“Very.”
“What does that mean? Coincidence or is something greater at work?” I asked.
“I don’t know, gorgeous. But we were brought together for a reason.”
His words sent my mind into overdrive, making my looming decision even more complicated. We weren’t a very religious country or culture, the only thing any of us believed in was the kindred soul bond. No one really knew if it was magic or a god or fate or even the stars in charge of the bonds. But if it was more than some sort of weird roll of the dice, then what would happen if I turned my back on my last kindred? Did I trust the bond or trust my own feelings?
I already had three near perfect matches. Did I really expect the fourth to work?
Aster moved towards us and I wasn’t ready to be the trophy on his arm as he chatted with these fawning nobles, introducing me around.
“I need some air.” I slipped away from Whistler before he could stop me, heading through the doors into the courtyard.
I hated being unable to tell the difference between my own mind and the bond. It was impossible for me to figure out if the attraction and longing I had for Aster was real or the bond and it drove me crazy. Part of me wished I could just accept it without questions or doubts. It would make everything a hell of a lot easier. If I had done the same with my assassins, it would have spared us all a lot of pain and frustration. But there I was, making the same choices as before, held back by the same worries and fears.
More than anything, I wished my parents were there to tell me what to do.
They had never been against kindreds, but once they fell in love, they stopped looking or caring if they ever found theirs. Love and family meant everything to them. More than jobs, or friendships, or the law. I wanted the same kind of love — one so strong it was worth giving up everything else. It was something I thought I was building with my assassins. Every time I discovered something new about them, I fell for them a little harder. It wasn’t just attraction and desire with them. I actually liked them, cared about them, enjoyed hanging out with them.
Even though it had barely been longer than a month since we met, I was lost in them.
There hadn’t been the chance to get to know the prince in the same way to discover if we felt the same. And we didn’t have time to change it.
I wiped away stray tears from my eyes and straightened my spine. My parents weren’t here, but I had a new family, one who had sacrificed so much for me and was willing to sacrifice even more.
The scrape of shoes on rocks spun me around, but before I caught sight of whoever it was, something hard smashed into the side of my head and sent me crumpling to the ground.