Chapter Twenty-Three
My kindreds were offhelping get ready for the party and Indigo was locked up in her room with Elora working on her speech when Bastian came into the sitting room with instruments clutched in his hands.
I shot to my feet, feeling off-balance at his presence. “Oh. Hello. I thought you were sending someone with them?”
His expression darkened with annoyance. “Everyone was suddenly mysteriously busy.”
I snorted. “Of course they were.”
He set them on the small table and turned back to me. “Is this all you need?”
“Yes, I should be fine with just the guitar, but I thought I’d experiment a bit again with the flute and bells while I had the chance.”
He looked past me at the wall. “I look forward to your performance.”
I clasped my hands in front of me to keep from reaching for him. “Thank you.”
He bowed his head. “I’ll see you later than.”
“Sure. Yeah. See you.” I kept my face frozen in a pleasant expression.
He paused with his hand on the doorway and I stiffened, trying not to let the hope take hold. “I’m sorry, Rhapsody.”
“For what?” I asked his back.
He turned around and studied me solemnly. “For the drama my people are causing.”
I shrugged. “My people are no better.”
“I noticed. It surprised me, actually.”
“Why?”
“That they’d be so willing to share you with a dragon.”
“They already share me. Though, I admit it surprised me too.” They’d always spoken about how glad and lucky they were that my kindreds were already a family. None of us ever expected I would continue collecting them. It made me nervous about traveling anywhere else in case more were hiding, ready to pop out behind a bush or something.
“Haven’t you told them you aren’t interested in the bond?”
I jerked, my pulse speeding up at his question. “Well, yes. Sort of.”
His black eyes narrowed, pinning me in place. “What does that mean?”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose before I deflated. “I’ve been having second thoughts. Which they’ve figured out.”
His mouth gaped. “Second thoughts?”
“Yes.” The word tore out of me without my permission. Why couldn’t I stop talking?
“You want the bond?” His voice came out strangled.
I grimaced and ran a hand thought my hair, staring at the ground, mumbling the words. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I’m torn and confused. But I would never pressure you into it. And I’m sorry for last night.”
“It was the bond. It wasn’t your fault.”
I raised my head and met his eyes. “It wasn’t the bond. Not for me. I have enough experience now to tell the difference.”
“Then what was it?”
“It was you.”
He stumbled back a step. “Me?”
I sighed, deciding to go all in, to be brave and be clear about what I wanted. “Yes. We haven’t known each other long, but I’ve spent enough time with you to be attracted to you, to want to know you better, and to not want to leave here and never see you again. I’m not sure if I want the bond or not, but I haven’t regretted a single one of my other kindred souls. And nothing so far has made me believe I’d regret this one either.”
He stared at me, eyes wide and panicked.
I held up a hand. “But don’t worry. I know you don’t want the bond. And I get it. It’s okay. I understand.”
His mouth opened and closed before settling in a thin line. “I—I have to go. There’s a lot to do to before tomorrow night.”
Pain radiated through me. “Of course. Thanks for bringing the instruments by.”
“Yes. Yes. Bye, Rhapsody.”
I slumped once the door shut between us, jumping when Elora’s voice sounded behind me.
“Are you all right?”
I turned to face her. “Yeah.”
She rolled her eyes. “Liar.”
“I’m confused. It wasn’t like this with the others. I was determined to fight this bond too, but it’s been harder with Bastian.”
“Probably because you’ve tried to fight it four times and ended up deciding you wanted them after all. This time, you’re giving in sooner, willing to trust whatever or whoever is behind the kindred soul matches has picked well for you again.”
“But he’s always such an asshole. And not in the fun way the others are. We had one good couple of hours when he let his guard down. I haven’t seen a sign of that man since.” And yet I still wanted him. It made me feel foolish and greedy and lost. I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. He’s made his choice and I respect and understand it. I better practice. What we’re doing here is more important than my romantic drama.”