Chapter Forty-One
King
I walked out of church and told Cash I was going upstairs. I needed to check on Grace. She seemed lighter after leaving the hospital. Not by much, but I saw her smile as she watched me holding Bennett.
I had to admit; the kid was fucking cute.
I knocked softly on the door, not wanting to frighten her, then turned the knob and went inside. The room was empty, and the bathroom door was open.
She wasn’t fucking here!
I ran upstairs to my room. Not paying attention to the fact that I had to unlock the door, and Grace didn’t have a key, I searched the room anyway. I checked the bathroom first, and the closet.
She wasn’t there.
I flew down the stairs, going directly to the kitchen. When I didn’t find her there, I checked the women’s bathroom in the hall. I didn’t care if someone was in there; I pushed the door open and checked the stalls.
Where the fuck is she?
In the main room, my eyes scanned every face. Male and female, just to make sure. She wasn’t fucking here.
“King?”
I looked down at Brandy. “She’s outside with Aspen.”
I blew out a relieved breath. With my hands on my hips, I dropped my chin to my chest and shook my head. I knew she couldn’t leave. Whoever was on the gate would have stopped her and called me. But my fear overruled my common sense when it came to her.
“Thank you, Brandy.”
I brushed past her and headed outside. I walked toward the back yard looking for Grace. When I found her, I stopped in my tracks and watched her. She sat on the ground, Diesel on her lap as she dug her hands into his fur.
I didn’t move closer. I didn’t want to disturb her. She had a small smile on her face as she talked with Aspen. Aspen looked up at me, and I nodded. Grace, noticing Aspen was looking behind her, turned to look, and I caught her eyes.
She lifted her hand in a small wave, and I did the same. I smiled at Grace, and she dipped her head as though she were shy. She hadn’t ever been shy since I met her. But after everything she’d been through, I understood it.
I turned around and walked back to the clubhouse, but I didn’t go inside. I sat on the front steps and waited for Grace and Aspen to come inside. I’d sit here all fucking night if I had too.
She was talking.
It wasn’t to me, and I didn’t know what she was talking about, but she was fucking talking. Two hours went by before they finally made their way back. When they rounded the corner from the backyard, Grace stopped.
“What are you doing?”
“Waiting for you,” I said with a smile.
“Did you need something? You could have come and got me.”
Aspen pulled her lips between her teeth; she understood what Grace didn’t. “I’m going to take Diesel inside for a snack.”
Grace turned to Aspen. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She hugged Grace, and she and Diesel slipped by me to go inside, leaving the two of us alone.
“Did you need me?”
“I always need you, baby.”
“King—” she began, but I cut her off and stood in front of her.
“Grace, listen to me. I’ve wanted you from the first moment I saw you. After I got to know you, that want turned to need.”
She turned her head away and looked toward the backyard. I knew what she was thinking. I’d fucked this thing up so bad I wasn’t sure I’d ever have her.
“I’m sorry, Grace. I’m so fucking sorry for everything. I was an asshole. I could stand here for hours giving you excuses that make sense in my head. Telling you all the ways I was trying to protect you. But the fucking truth is, you terrify me.”
Her gaze snapped to mine. “Why?”
I took a chance and reached out for her hand. I pulled her closer and placed it against my chest, letting her feel my heartbeat.
“Because I’m not me when you’re not around. I thought I knew who the fuck I was. But before you, I was half a fucking man. I didn’t think I’d ever need a woman. Hell, after I saw the way Beck’s mom destroyed Dec, I didn’t want one. You changed everything, baby.”
“I’m broken, King. They broke something inside me.”
“Let me put you back together,” I begged.
“I’m not sure you can. I’m not even sure I can,” she whispered. I tucked a finger under her chin and lifted it so I could look into her eyes. So she could look into mine and see the truth.
“Let me hold the pieces together. I’ve got big fucking hands, baby. And I’m strong enough to hold you together when you think you’re not.”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever really been strong enough.”
“Baby, you’ve been holding me together for years.
Now it’s my turn.” I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers lightly.
I didn’t push. I didn’t deepen the kiss the way I wanted to.
But I held my lips against hers with the lightest touch I could manage, and when I pulled back, she tipped toward me as if she didn’t want me to go.
I moved my hand to hold her cheek, and she leaned into it as tears slipped down her face. I swiped one away with my thumb.
“Do you want to go upstairs?”
She shook her head. “I can’t hide up there forever.”
“Tell me what you need.”
She looked behind me at the clubhouse doors. “Will you stay with me? If I sit in the main room, will you stay there with me?”
“Forever, baby.”
I took her hand in mine and led her up the stairs into the clubhouse. Cash was sitting at a table with Kytten on his lap, and we sat down with them. I wanted Grace on my lap, but it was enough that she was sitting beside me, her hand still in mine.
“I talked to the Nyght Nymphs. They are doing their best to get here. Except Magyk. She can’t make it, but said when the others were here, she could do a call.”
“Did she say why?” I asked.
“No. I’m not sure what she’s working on, and until they decide if I should be president, I can’t really ask her.”
“Okay, once they’re here, we’ll deal with that. When Reaper gets here, he’ll need to be told too.”
“Good fucking luck with that.” Cash snorted.
“You’ll be right there beside me, VP.”
“Fuck,” he huffed.
“Hey, Prez, can I get you two something?”
I looked up at Keys. “What the fuck are you doing? Sit your ass down.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” Grace said. “You just came home.” She stood up and grabbed Keys’ arm. She walked him toward the hallway, chastising him as she went.
“That’s the first glimpse of the real Grace we’ve seen,” Cash whispered.
“Yeah,” I agreed. It was all I could say as I watched Grace give the prospect a talking-to. He hung his head and walked down the hallway. She waited until he went downstairs and then turned and walked back to the table. She sat down, her eyes darting between Cash and me.
“I’m sorry.”
“Do not fucking apologize,” I said with a smile. I leaned over and whispered, “As my old lady, these are your men too. You are their queen.”
She smiled shyly and looked down. We sat and talked with Cash and Kytten. Grace didn’t talk much, but every once in a while, she would add in a thought or two.
Dinner came and went. Colleen had come by to cook. When I offered to order some food, she scoffed. She was so much like Maureen.
I knew I wouldn’t hear from Stocks and the others until the morning, most likely. So when Grace started to yawn, I said goodnight and took her upstairs. Giving Cash orders to handle shit on his own unless there was an emergency.
When we stood in front of her door, I stopped her.
“I would really like to sleep in my own bed tonight.” I kept my tone light and said the words with a smile.
“Okay,” she said, her voice sad. She turned to go inside, and I stopped her.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head and opened her mouth.
“If the words ‘I’m fine’ come out of your mouth right now, I’m gonna spank your ass.”
Her eyes went wide, and her lips parted.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Grace.” I took her hand in mine and put it on my chest. It seemed to be the only way she would open up to me. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I like having you next to me while I sleep.” She bit her lip and looked at the door. “It makes me feel safe.”
“I like lying next to you while you sleep. I want to sleep next to you for the rest of my life, Grace.”
“But you said—”
I place a finger over her lips. “I said I’d like to sleep in my own bed. With you, Grace. I want you to sleep upstairs with me.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Can we try?” I asked. If she really didn’t want to, then I would suffer another night in hers. Hell, I’d sleep every fucking night in her bed if I had to. I just wanted her to try.
She took a deep breath and looked at her door again, then glanced down the hall at the stairs. She closed her eyes, and I could almost hear her arguing with herself. I held my breath as I waited for her to make a decision.
“Okay.”
“Thank you.”
She packed a bag, and I led her upstairs. I held the door open for her and waited for her to choose again. She stepped inside hesitantly. I didn’t hurry her; I let her move around the space as I took off my cut and hung it on the wall by the door.
“I’m going to go into the bathroom and change.”
“Okay, baby.”
As soon as the door closed behind her, I stripped off all my clothes except for my boxers. I climbed into bed and put my arms above my head like I had done for the last two nights and waited for her.
I heard the water turn on, and I groaned as I thought about her naked in the shower.
“Settle down, boy. You aren’t getting anything tonight. Or probably anytime soon.” I sighed. “Maybe never,” I said out loud, knowing Grace couldn’t hear the disappointment in my voice.
A life without sex would suck. But I’d gotten a taste of her twice before her world fell apart. I would just have to survive on the memory of that and the palm of my hand. I’d done it for almost three fucking years. What was another fifty?
As I willed my dick to deflate, the bathroom door opened, and Grace stepped out in my T-shirt. In only my T-shirt, and I wondered if anyone had actually ever died from blue balls. I might be the first.
I pulled my knee up so she couldn’t see the tent my cock had made with the blanket. My bed was bigger than the one in her room. Maybe I’d actually get some sleep tonight. I could stay on my side and not touch her.
Grace climbed under the blankets and lay on her side facing me.
“Can I still touch you?”
“Of course, baby.”
She scooted closer and instead of placing her hand on my side, she’d positioned herself almost against me so she could place her hand on my heart. I covered her hand with mine and asked, “Is this okay?”
She nodded and closed her eyes. It was only a moment or two before she was fast asleep. I kept my hand on hers and closed my eyes, praying I stayed still while I slept.