Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sasha
His words jolt through me.
I feel the rejection in them, know that he’s about to tell me that I’m not worth the trouble. That my virginity is a complication he didn’t anticipate and doesn’t want.
I don’t know what I’m doing. Have no idea how to be a good lover. And honestly, I was bound to disappoint my husband somehow, someway. I always do.
No man in my life has ever just loved me. Like I didn’t already know something is wrong with me.
I curl away from him, as best as I can as he carries me. I have no idea where we’re going or why. He wouldn’t…toss me out, would he?
My gut clenches as I try to remind myself that I want freedom. That I’m actively trying to find a way out. Why would leaving make me both sad and frightened?
I tell myself that I’m just not ready. That’s why I don’t want to go. Or that sighting Sver has me spooked. But I can feel that it’s more. That I feel safe in his arms, and I like being here with him.
That I want to sleep curled next to him like I did last night.
He stops next to the bed, and my fingers automatically tighten on his arms. “Are you mad?”
What a dumb question. I’d stopped asking questions like that to my father years ago. He wasn’t mad, he was just evil. Asking questions like that never helps, it either opens the door for a person to lash out, or to understand that you’re vulnerable because you care.
Ryker’s arms tighten around me. “Why would I be mad, baby?”
“Baby?” That’s a new one. Come to think of it, we’ve gone through a lot of nicknames in a very short time.
He kisses behind my ear then slides his mouth over my jaw and I’m starting to get the impression that he’s not taking me anywhere and he isn’t mad at all.
His lips find mine and he kisses me, with a long slow press of his lips that makes me melt into him.
He opens my mouth, his tongue brushing mine in a way that gets me instantly wet.
Lifting my legs, I wrap them around his waist, pressing even harder against his erection.
His hands come to my ass, grabbing and grinding my pelvis into his. We both groan.
One of his hands slides up my back, wrapping around my neck as he deepens the kiss.
I’m pliant in his arms, my body wrapped around his. I know the attraction I couldn’t even acknowledge at first is taking on a life of its own.
“Sasha,” he says my name against my mouth, his voice rough with an emotion I don’t understand.
“Yes?”
“Know why I called you baby?”
I lift my head to look into his dark eyes. “Why?” The word pops out before I’ve even considered if I want to know the answer.
“Because. You’re mine to take care of, baby.”
“Oh.” I get the single breathy syllable out before his mouth crashes onto mine again, devouring my lips with his own.
It’s a kiss as brutal as the man feels, but it doesn’t intimidate me. In fact, my passion matches his, and as I return the kiss, I slide my hands up his arms and over his neck before I twine my fingers into his hair.
I’ve never felt anything even close to this, and I can’t hold myself back as I roll my hips against him once again, wanting more of how he feels, of the spark he creates.
He groans and I swallow the sound, digging my fingers deeper into his scalp, before he shifts my weight and I find my back on the bed, his body pressing me into the mattress.
It feels even better than when we were standing and I lock my ankles around his waist, pulling him closer still.
I’ve been afraid of intimacy most of my life.
I didn’t experience much physical touch, and I don’t always read people well, so I was worried I wouldn’t understand when I was in danger.
But now that I’m here, I can’t get enough.
I can’t…
Get. Enough.
I want more and I pull at his hair, using his scalp as leverage to rub myself along the hard ridge of his shaft.
He lifts up and I yank the strands in protest, trying to bring him back down against me.
His mouth curves into a wicked grin. “I need to take off some of your clothes, baby, and mine.”
My eyes widen as I get the picture and start tugging at my dress, wiggling the tight fabric over my head. He lets out a low chuckle as he grabs the hem, pulling hard enough that I hear the fabric rip.
I stop, my breath hitching.
He stares down at me. “I’ll buy you another baby, tomorrow, but I need to feel your skin. See your body.”
Those words set me on fire.
They make me feel so wanted and I have this feeling that for the first time in my life someone needs me…
It makes me absolutely frantic as I rip at the button of his jeans.
He helps me there too, straightening away, before he shrugs off his T-shirt, kicking off his shoes.
I stare at his chest, still in awe of the breadth of his shoulders, the way his muscles ripple. I’d like to trace the tattoos that decorate his skin,
We’re a study in contrast, his form all strength, his skin and features rough. They frightened me at first, how much more power he had then me, but now…they are starting to make me feel safe.
Safer than I’ve ever known.
I’m in nothing but my bra and panties, but I slide up on my knees, reaching out my hand to run my fingers tentatively down his chest.
His large hand covers mine and he helps me slide my hand lower over his six-pack abs to the waistband of his open jeans.
I bite my lip as the muscles ripple under my fingers. “You’re so beautiful,” I murmur, unable to help myself.
He lets out a rumbling chuckle. “That is not a word used to describe men in general, but me in particular.” He cups my cheek, his thumb running lightly down my nose. “I don’t have fine features like yours.”
His thumb bops off the end of my nose and then brushes over my lips.
“I think you’re beautiful,” I repeat, my fingers digging into the ridges of his stomach. “You have so much of what I lack, it’s stunning and gorgeous and I want to drown in—”
He cuts me off, his lips covering mine, as his tongue plunders my mouth. I lose myself as his arm wraps around my body, his skin sliding against mine.
I’ve always been extra. Extra emotional. Extra sensitive. But in this moment, I’m even more.
The passion threatens to completely consume me, and I can’t feel where I end and he begins. I don’t care.
My arms wind around his neck, my legs around his waist, but it still isn’t enough. I want a connection between us. Deeper. Fuller.
My words come back…I want to drown.
I sense the danger of this feeling. How much I’m giving myself over to the emotions that are pulsing inside me. Then again, I’ve never been able to fake anything, nor can I hold back.
He grabs my ass, grinding our hips together, and I squeeze his waist with my thighs, inviting him deeper.
“Baby,” he mutters against my lips.
“Yeah.”
“You’re going to make me forget you’re a virgin if you keep rubbing against me like that.”
“Oh,” I pull back to look in his eyes. “Should I not do that?” I feel my face flame. Maybe my extra is freaking him out.
“Any time you want to lock around me, you go ahead. But just for tonight, we should slow this down. I don’t want it to hurt any more than it has to.”
I draw in a ragged breath as I try to slow my racing heart. “It’s just…” I roll my hips again. “I had no idea it would feel this good, and I’ve always been an all-in kind of person.”
He lays down on top of me. “I love that about you.”
The word love makes my stomach dip and swoop. I know he didn’t say he loved me. But man, I could spend months hanging on to that sentence anyway.
He kisses me again, this one slower, even as he unclasps my bra. I don’t have the fullest chest, but I don’t have bee stings either. They’re pretty round and full, even if they are smallish.
The straps slide down my arms, and I feel Ryker tug first one and then the other the rest of the way off before he pulls the bra out from between us, tossing it across the room.
I break away, watching as it lands on the carpet across the room. “Now you’re taking clothes off like I do,” I laugh even as his lips find the spot at the base of my neck, kissing my thrumming pulse.
I tip my head back, giving him more access. “You, messy, gorgeous?” he asks as he starts kissing down my chest.
“Yeah. Kind of. You?”
“No. Not even a little,” he answers before his lips lock on my nipple.
I gasp, a moaning cry falling from my lips as I dig my nails into his scalp so hard, I think I might be drawing blood. “Am I going to drive you crazy?” I ask, knowing I probably should be worried.
“With messiness? No. I’ll pick up after you any time.” He kisses to the other nipple, sucking on it until I’m squirming and mewling for more. “But if you keep making those noises, I’m going to go insane and love every second.”
I can’t answer as he keeps kissing lower, his tongue lapping at my skin even as he kisses a trail across my belly.
I’m desperate for more as he hooks two fingers in either side of my underwear and pulls them down, sliding them all the way down my legs, over my ankles, and off my feet, the silk flying through the air.
I watch them land. “Messy,” I giggle, but only for a second, because he parts my knees with his body between my legs as he bends down, kissing me just above my mound.
All the humor is gone as I gasp, arching up into the kiss.
Sex scents the air as his hands grasp my hips, lifting my ass off the bed. “I’ll clean up after dessert,” he growls before he plants a kiss right on the bare lips of my sex.