Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Win
Katarina is trembling with enough violence that two women passing by stare at me with concern.
Damn it all to bloody hell.
I didn’t expect her to react like this. Katarina is the kind of strong that appears almost bulletproof.
Then again, I’m bringing her father, the man who gave her all those scars, right to her.
Guilt twists my gut.
It’s not an emotion I’m accustomed to experiencing. I’m decisive and calculating, and when I make choices, I rarely regret them.
But Katarina isn’t my enemy, even if she is Ivan’s daughter. In fact, she’s more of an ally than anyone I can remember.
Even Rebecca…
I grimace to think of my fiancée. Rebecca was never going to be a partner. She was sweet and warm, but she had no interest in responsibility.
We were opposites. And as I grew older, harder, I had to work not to let my edges cut her.
But Katarina, she’s got the strength to withstand almost any pain. Which means, as I watch her crumble in my arms, I’ve dealt her a significant blow.
Fuck.
Pulling her into my body, I lift her in my arms and start carrying her toward the curb. “Not feeling well,” I murmur to a matron who stares at me as though I’ve gone mad.
“Poor dear,” the woman replies, her concerned gaze on Katarina. “The plight of those children upsets me greatly as well.”
I keep going, pushing against the crowd until we’re at the line of cars.
Katarina’s been silent, but as I reach the attendant, she taps my shoulder. “You can set me down.”
Slowly, I lower her feet to the ground, keeping her in my arms, even when I feel she’s stable. I should put some distance between us, but I hate to let her go. She feels as though she’ll just slip through my fingers the moment I do.
She looks down the street, not meeting my eye, her face drawn in lines of pain.
I meant what I said, I’ve never lied to her. But I have omitted a great many truths. She doesn’t pull away, her arms drop to her sides, her body only touching mine where I hold her to me.
I nearly say her name but it’s no use. Instead, we wait in silence.
The car finally arrives, stopping at the curb as my driver jumps out to open the door for us.
I help Katarina into the back, but I don’t circle around to other side. Instead, I nudge her over, sitting right next to her.
I would not put it past her to try and run.
But she moves as I silently command, all her fight gone.
It honestly makes my chest ache to have deflated her so. Katarina is magnificent, and I have robbed her of—
She slides away from me, and I tense, half expecting her to open the other door, bolt, but she only buckles her seatbelt, staring straight ahead, her hands folding in her lap.
I’ve never felt the weight of a silence like this one, and my jaw is clenched enough to cut glass as I watch her, the car rolling from the curb.
I’d like for her to say something, anything, but she remains silent and I don’t ask her to speak in front of the driver.
We drive down the coast, the ocean appearing and disappearing as the road winds along the cliffs.
The property my house is situated upon backs up to the ocean. There is a second house perched on the cliffs, which used to be my favorite place in the world. But that was before.
As we approach Grandmont, I finally break the silence, but it’s not Katarina I speak to, but my driver. “Hank, take us to the White House.”
Katarina finally looks at me. “We’re going to America?”
The corners of my lips turn up automatically. “No. Not that White House.”
The gates open and Hank pulls onto the property, then immediately turns right, taking the small road that winds around the estate, all the way to where the land gives way to the ocean.
There is enough moonlight, that it sparkles off the water, the roar of the ocean heard over the purr of the car engine.
“Why are we here?”
I sigh. “Seemed like the right place to have this conversation.”
She gives a small jerk of her chin, her lips pressing into a thin line. The driver parks and opens my door. I climb out and circle around to help Katarina, but she doesn’t take my offered hand.
Instead, she passes me, then stops to first take in the ocean, before her gaze travels to the cottage.
In the moonlight, the crisp white paint is less noticeable, but the cottage still looks impressive, with its large overhangs, and fresh flower boxes, perched on the edge of the cliff.
It’s a house all to itself with a kitchen, living room with large fireplace, dining room, and three bedrooms upstairs.
Rebecca and I spent many nights here, and I think for her, she imagined it was a house all our own, where we lived a life like I wasn’t a duke. She played pretend here.
But it was all make-believe.
Katarina pulls her cover tighter around her shoulders and I reach for her, automatically responding to her need for warmth, but she steps out of my grasp, moving just out of my reach.
She has the grace of a queen, her head held high, and I take a moment to admire the majesty of her uptilted chin. The strength that carries her through this moment.
I’ve never met her equal and I doubt I will again.
And while I’m glad to see her strength returning, I also… I hate that I took it from her. Every person needs a safe haven, a place or a person where they’re allowed to be soft. Vulnerable.
Has she ever had that?
“Let’s go inside,” I say, offering my arm.
“Fine.” She doesn’t take it, instead, she moves ahead of me, walking toward the door.
I close the gap between us, stepping next to her, and open the door, inviting her inside, even as I flick on the lights and press a button to start the fire.
I had it converted to gas during the renovation, a way to quickly heat the place when I needed it.
The fire roars to life. Katarina moves into the living room, stopping in front of the fire, her back to me as she holds out her hands.
I follow, pulling my jacket off and stopping to settle it around her shoulders.
Her gaze snaps to mine, her eyes filled with an accusation I can’t refute. “A little cold isn’t going to hurt me.”
“Right.”
She shrugs the jacket back off and hands it to me. “In fact, shivering in your presence seems honest. You don’t give a shit about me, so let’s stop pretending.”
I deserve that. “Katarina.”
She shakes her head. “My father is your enemy, hence, I am your enemy as well.” She frowns, staring into the flames. “No, that’s wrong. I’m not important enough to be your enemy, I’m just…bait.”
I sit in one of the club chairs near the fire. I won’t refute what she just said, it’s true. But I can at least say what I came here to tell Katarina. “Rebecca died in this room.”
She gasps, her eyes locking with mine. I could stare morosely off into the distance, let the memories wash over me, but this moment isn’t about me. It’s about Katarina. So instead, I gesture for her to take the seat across from me.
She does, slipping into the chair, her eyes wide as she silently waits.
She looks so beautiful in this moment, the touch of vulnerability making her beauty even more spectacular. I wish I could rewind, feel her underneath me again.
“When I realized the extent of the debt my father had left, I nearly buckled under the weight of it. I was twenty-three, and I…” I finally look away, my eyes sliding closed. I was weak.
“Go on,” she whispers, but I hear her. I open my eyes again. “I tried to sell some of the assets, but I quickly realized that nearly everything that was left was entailed.”
Her brow furrows, “But I thought you sold property to finance the first casinos?”
“A lie,” I shake my head. I’ve never told another soul this, and if it’s my undoing, so be it. It feels good to unload off my chest and if Katarina uses the information to hurt me, it’s the least I deserve. “My last.”
She nods, her body perched on the edge of her seat as she listens intently.
“Looking for a quick fix, I made a deal with a Russian drug dealer.”
I hear her quick intake of breath, she already knows where this is going. “My father.”
“Yes. I agreed to let him use the cliffs and my property to smuggle his product into the country, and in exchange, he gave me a cut. It worked well for a few years, where I was able to save up enough money to keep the debtors at bay and plan my legitimate business with my brothers. But once I reached solid footing, I didn’t want to be on the wrong side of the law any longer. ”
“Ah. I see the problem,” Katarina says, her head tilting back as her eyes closed. “My father did not appreciate you retracting your offer.”
I shake my head. She’s exactly right. “I was arrogant and—”
“You?” she asks in mock surprise.
I grunt in response. I deserve that too. “And when he tried to strongarm me into remaining in his employ, I threatened to go to the police.”
Katarina looks away. “How did Rebecca factor in?”
“Your father and I…we’d meet here. Near the cliffs, away from the main house.
I think Rebecca might have grown suspicious of my evenings away.
She thought perhaps I’d taken a mistress.
She came in unaware, looking to surprise me and catch me in the act.
But Ivan and I were in a heated debate and when Ivan saw her… ”
I can’t make myself finish.
I’ve played the moment in my thoughts a million times. His threat, my youthful disbelief that he’d actually follow through. I’d mocked him.
My hand clenches into a tight ball. I despise Ivan Ivanov for being a cold, heartless bastard, and I detest his hitman, Sver. Ivan had ordered him to shoot Rebecca, and he’d done it without a moment’s hesitation or remorse.
But as much as I hate both of them, I hate myself more. For being so stupid, for being the kind of man who didn’t protect the woman he ought to—
My gaze snaps to Katarina. Her eyes are intent upon me, still wide and vulnerable, her lips parted.
My fist smashes down on my own knee.
Because…
Before me sits another woman who deserves my protection. And what did I fucking do…
I dangled her in front of Ivan. Like a complete fool, I allowed myself to repeat my past mistake.
“Katarina,” it comes out harsh and jagged. She winces, pushing back in her chair and I know she misunderstands.
Her arms wrap around her torso, her whisper filling my ears. “You must have loved her very much.”
I can hear the raw pain and the way it clogs her throat. I force my fist to relax. “I swore I’d avenge Rebecca. It’s a promise I intend to keep.”
If I loved Rebecca once, it was a youthful infatuation, one that I was already beginning to grow out of as the world hardened me. I’d intended to marry her for her loyalty, and because it was a sensible choice. It wasn’t love. But she still deserves my commitment to the punishment of her murderers.
Katarina nods. “You said you don’t intend for me to die?”
“That’s right.”
“Your plan isn’t to kill me in front of him then?” she asks, her eyes locked on mine. By God, she’s glorious like this. No fear, no hiding, she’s just probing for the cold, hard truth.
“I would never do that.”
She gives a stiff nod. “I told you that he’s vain. I’m sure your dismissal of him pricked his need to be the most important person in any room.”
She’s right. “What else can you tell me?”
She shakes her head. “I’m tired, Win. I don’t want to talk any more tonight.”
“But I want to hear more about your father. About you.”
She shakes her head, her lips pursing closed. I could insist. Probe. But I’ve hurt her enough tonight. “Tomorrow then.”
She stands not saying a word and not meeting my gaze either. And that’s when I know. She has no intention of speaking to me tomorrow. And likely not any day after.
Katarina is going to leave.
And I am going to let her.