28. Ayana
CHAPTER 28
Ayana
“A re you okay, Ayaniye?” my mother asked. Combining the first one or two syllables of a person’s name with the suffix -iye was a common Ethiopian endearment, but she hadn’t called me Ayaniye since I was a teenager. It unleashed a painful wave of nostalgia. “You look a little tense.”
“I’m fine. Just pre-wedding jitters.” I smiled, hoping she couldn’t see past the perky mask I’d put on since she arrived in New York.
We were waiting for our cue to enter the church. My bridesmaids were already lined up for their walk down the aisle, but my mother had stayed with me instead of sitting with the rest of my family. My father stood a respectful distance away, giving us space for our last mother-daughter talk before I officially became a married woman.
Married.
My stomach pitched at the thought.
I looked the part. I was dressed in a stunning gown spun with delicate floral lace and flowy tulle. My makeup was perfect; my hair was pinned half up, half down, and adorned with pearls, courtesy of Kim. I’d accessorized with my mother’s heirloom gold-and-diamond earrings.
It was the world’s most beautiful cage.
“Good.” My mother squeezed my hand, a touch of worry in her eyes. She’d aged in the years since I left home. Gray streaked her hair, and fine lines fanned from the corners of her eyes. But her skin remained a smooth, unblemished brown, and her eyes were bright with knowing as she studied me. “It’s a big day. All your father and I want is for you to be happy.”
Was this standard pre-wedding advice, or did she know something was wrong? I thought I’d done a good job of pretending, but never underestimate a mother’s intuition.
“I know.” I squeezed her hand back even as tears crowded my throat.
I wanted to fall into her arms and let her soothe my troubles like I was a kid again. Back then, things had been easy. There’d been no contracts, predatory agents, or complicated feelings toward best men. My parents had shielded me from the worst of the world.
I banished the thought of Vuk as quickly as it arose.
I would not let him or my feelings for him ruin this. I’d chosen this path; it was time to walk it. Once I was free from Beaumont, this would all be worth it.
Orchestral music swelled. The bridesmaids entered the church, and my father beckoned me. It was almost time.
“How did you know Dad was the one?” The question spilled out in a rush.
I wasn’t sure what prompted it. I’d taken my parents’ love for granted my entire life. They’d met at the restaurant where they both worked decades ago—my father as a line cook, my mother as a waitress. They quickly fell in love, and she was the one who’d encouraged him to open his own restaurant after their old employer retired.
“I can’t explain it. I just knew,” my mother admitted. “It’s not a checkbox of qualities, mamaye . It’s a feeling.” She placed a gentle palm against my cheek. “I know that’s not very helpful, but when in doubt, trust yourself. Your heart always knows, even if your head doesn’t.”
I smiled and tried to breathe through the blossoming ache in my chest.
Call off the wedding.
I can’t.
The flash of hurt in Vuk’s eyes resurfaced in my mind. I forced it aside.
Listening to my heart was nice in theory, but this was the real world. I didn’t have the luxury of idealism.
The doors opened again. My mother went in first. Then I took my teary-eyed father’s arm, and we walked down the aisle.
I felt like I was disassociating as I put one foot in front of the other. The faces of family and friends blurred when I passed them, and I couldn’t feel anything except the painful thumps of my heart.
Jordan stood at the altar, his expression taut. His mouth was fixed in a semi-convincing smile of a groom in love.
The groomsmen were lined up next to him—including the best man.
Don’t look.
But I had to.
My eyes slid from Jordan to the man beside him. I stumbled, and a wave of soft gasps rippled through the crowd before I quickly found my footing again.
“Everything alright, mare ?” my father asked out of the corner of his mouth.
“Yes,” I lied.
It wasn’t. Because standing in the best man’s spot, his expression happy but a little confused, was Jordan’s cousin. Vuk was nowhere in sight.
Part of me was relieved I wouldn’t have to face him when I said my vows; another, larger part of me crumpled at his absence.
I’d counted on seeing him again today, despite the way we’d left things. I craved his presence the way an addict craved their next fix, and it’d been two weeks since I last had mine.
Perhaps it was irrational, but his absence made me feel like I would never see him again. Like our hotel room tryst had been my last chance to hold on to him, and he’d slipped through my fingers without me noticing.
Fresh tears stung my eyes.
I shouldn’t have let Vuk leave. I should’ve…I don’t know, done something . Explained myself better. Brainstormed ways we could make a relationship work. Called Jordan and asked him whether I could tell Vuk about our arrangement.
At the very least, I should’ve reached out in the weeks after and stolen a few more moments with him.
Now it was too late.
I managed to reach the altar without falling apart. I blinked back my tears and smiled harder as my father officially gave me away.
“You look beautiful,” Jordan said. Up close, his eyes were bloodshot, like he’d been crying, drinking, or both.
“Thank you.” I hesitated. Should I ask about Vuk? Was his absence the reason Jordan looked so miserable?
Before I could make a decision, the minister began the ceremony, and the church fell silent.
Jordan and I faced forward. I tried to focus on the minister’s words instead of the growing hollow in my chest.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Jordan Ford and Ayana?—”
The doors banged open, interrupting his speech.
I whirled around. For a brief, shining moment, I expected to see Vuk stride in and object to our marriage.
Instead, three men in dark suits marched inside, their faces grim. I recognized the one in front as Sean, Vuk’s head of security.
Confused murmurs filled the air. Jordan’s grandmother rose, her frail health no match for her fury as “outsiders” ruined her grandson’s long-anticipated wedding. My father stood and stepped forward, only for my mother to pull him back.
“What are you doing? What’s the meaning of this?” Jordan demanded when Sean neared.
“I’m sorry for the disruption, sir, but you have to evacuate the church. Now,” the security chief said. His men were already ushering the baffled guests up and out of their seats.
“The hell I do. Where’s Vuk? Did he put you up to this?” Jordan’s face reddened. “Of all the?—”
“Sir, please.” Sean sounded strained. “The wedding has been compromised. You have to leave now, or you’ll be in danger.”
I glimpsed the gun at his hip. My mouth dried.
What was going on? The church was compromised by whom? Why had Vuk sent his team instead of showing up himself?
Jordan was still arguing with Sean, who looked like he was a second away from throwing him over his shoulder and forcibly carrying him out. His men had succeeded in herding most of the guests toward the exit.
I was about to interject and tell Jordan we should go outside and regroup when three things happened at once in seemingly slow motion.
The pianist rose from his bench and drew out a gun. The minister grabbed Jordan, and a familiar tall, dark figure sprinted into the church toward us.
Vuk. Panic suffused his face.
My ears rang. Time sped up again, and the next minute happened so quickly, I couldn’t keep track of it all.
The pianist swung his gun toward Vuk, one of Vuk’s men tackled him from behind before he could get off a shot, and the minister swung Jordan around, using him as a shield against Sean’s drawn weapon.
The pianist managed to free himself from the bodyguard. He took aim again, this time at the altar—straight toward me.
A gunshot rang out.
My body turned cold with terror. I should duck, run, do anything except stand there frozen, but I was too slow and the bullet was too?—
A large body tackled me to the ground as more gunshots ripped through the air. The taste of copper filled my mouth. Fresh screams erupted, something heavy crashed, and then…
Quiet.
I lay there, my mind so disassociated from the carnage that I couldn’t wrap it around what just happened.
I was breathing, maybe. I couldn’t tell. Everything was numb.
Vuk braced his arms on either side of me. His body covered mine so completely, I couldn’t see past his protective shield to the ceiling above. He said something, but his voice sounded like it was coming from underwater. It was too muffled for me to understand.
Instead, I turned my head to the side.
My stomach heaved, and another scream shattered the silence. It took several beats for me to realize the terrifying sound came from me.
Because lying unconscious next to me in a pool of blood, his skin whiter than death, was Jordan.