2. Big Boys Don’t Cry
two
Big Boys Don’t Cry
Dean
When Emma stepped into my office, coolly putting down her things on the side table by the door before closing it behind her, I tried to collect the scattered bits of my melted brain. With questioning eyes, she approached me, holding her trusty notepad and pen as she lowered herself into the chair in front of me. She clicked her pen once, as if cocking a gun, and I saw her shoulders slightly rise with a sharp inhalation before saying, “Ready whenever you are.”
“You won’t need to write this down,” I calmly said. Visibly puzzled, yet without taking her eyes off of me, Emma slowly put down the items on the desk before lowering her hands back into her lap. The alcohol in my bloodstream, now an essential part of this moment, supplemented me with the moral courage to part my lips and say, “Emma, it’s important for me that you understand that I’ve spent the better half of the night and all day contemplating this.” I paused, watching her eyes widen just a little. “I may be drunk now, but I’d decided on this hour before this happened.”
“Mr. Allen, whatever you need—”
“Please, let me finish. This won’t be simple for me to say, nor will it be easy for you to digest.” Honestly, I was amazed at my own ability to articulate my thoughts at all. She nodded, keeping her eyes on mine. “My mom’s been diagnosed with a critically advanced form of colon cancer. As it turns out, it has developed aggressively in the last six months since her last checkup.” I choked back tears that threatened to emerge, blinking quickly as I distracted my eyes by looking at the pen I was now fiddling with. “The doctors have proposed a surgery, and though it’s urgent, she’s currently unstable. They gave us eight days at most before they absolutely have to operate.”
With a quick glance, I saw her lower lip tremble and instantly looked away. I knew she cared for my mother, but her tears would so easily summon my own. Instead, I carried on. “She has a ten percent chance of making it, if at all. All of which can be forecasted during the month following the operation.”
“I’m—I’m really sorry,” she whispered.
Gesturing with my hand in the air, I blurted out, “Yeah, you’re sorry, I’m sorry, everyone’s sorry.” I paused and checked in with the look in her eyes—absolutely heartbroken, as it seemed. “You know how much she’s given up for me and for this company.” She quickly nodded, and I could see her swallow hard. “And the only thing she’s ever wanted from me… was the one thing I thought I had the time to give her. The hopeless romantic that she is—” a bittersweet chuckle escaped my lips as I shook my head, looking away. “She prayed for nothing more than to see me settled down with a life partner before she leaves this world.”
Looking back up, I saw the expression on Emma’s face freeze for a second. She then tenderly smiled. “She tells me that almost every other time we talk,” Emma remarked with a soft voice, as if reminiscing.
“Well.” I knew just how sour my smile was. “And now, with maybe a week, a month, at best a year to live…” Once again, it took superhuman power for me not to let my tears fall. “I find myself backed into a corner. I want her to go… happy .” Emma dipped her head a little, her eyes examining my face from under sympathetically curved eyebrows. I summoned the nerve to add, “I apologize in advance for the circumstances that have placed you at the center of it all.”
“Me?”
“I have a proposition for you. It won’t be easy, but I promise you… when it’s all over, you won’t even have to see my face again.”
“Mr. Allen!” She shook her head, her gaze lost.
“What I’m about to ask of you may be considered highly unethical by most. But nobody would ever understand unless they were in my shoes. Unfortunately, no one is… and I’ve run out of ideas.” I paused, seeing on her face that she was beginning to guess where this was going. “Emma, if you agree to marry me before my mother’s operation, you will receive a tax-free compensation of one million dollars.” Her eyes widened, so I added, “And for every month my mother spends with us, you’ll receive an additional million.”
With parted lips and a dazed expression, Emma said nothing for the long, deafeningly quiet moment that followed. When she finally blinked, she quickly asked, as if afraid that the words might soon elude her, “You want us to get married before next week ?”
Leaning forward, I knew I had a chance to persuade her. If the answer was truly and definitely a ‘no’, she wouldn’t still be sitting across from me right now. Lifting a hand, I explained, “Please, don’t misunderstand me. You’ve been to the house before. It’s massive. You’ll get your own suite. We’ll sleep separately, of course. And you won’t even have to see me or interact with me except for when she’s around.” I stopped and drew a quick breath, torn inside at the state of my mother. “She doesn’t move much now, Emma. It’ll all be very minimal, I promise you. ”
A single tear rolled down her cheek, and I envied her, lacking the same ability to cry in front of anyone.
I wished I could.
“Mr. Allen, how—how would she even believe it?”
Furrowing my eyebrows, I took a sip—well, more like a chug—of the screwdriver I had created with the juice she had brought me earlier. Calmly placing down the glass, I did my best not to appear drunk or jittery. “The—The medication she’s on for the pain… they won’t exactly give her much focus. It’s likely that she’ll believe anything we tell her at this point.”
Emma must have read the pain in my face, because for a fleeting moment, she lifted up her hand and reached for mine over the desk. I quickly pulled away, withdrawing from her compassionate gesture. As painful as it was not to be able to receive kindness, it posed a great threat to the composure I fought with all my might to maintain.
Instead, I was adamant on remaining practical and pragmatic. “Today is the sixth. If you agree—and I hope that you do—then we can tell her tonight, if she’s awake and lucid enough. Maximum by tomorrow.” Studying her confused face, and the way her eyes aimlessly floated about the room, I leaned forward and took her hand. This time, it was me offering comfort. “I know it’s a lot to take. But I don’t have much time. Mom didn’t even remarry after my father passed away. Did you know that?”
She nodded. “I—I’d heard.”
“She refused to bring a man into our lives, someone who could threaten our peace or my ability to adapt after the loss of my father. She chose to play both parts, with the help of her brother and the rest of the family. Emma, I owe her this. You’ve got to understand.”
“I—I do, I’m just…” she stammered, shaking her head. “How will I tell everyone? And when? ”
“Today! Go home now. Call everyone. Tell them we’ve been having a secret thing, because of work. Or… anything. Whatever sounds right for you, just say it. I’m on board with whatever story that makes this easy for you.” Squeezing her hand gently, I urged her. “Just say that you accept. Please, Emma… help me give my mother the only gift she’s been waiting for before I lose her forever.” I felt my voice break, so I paused for a moment, reclaiming my tone. “She’s fading away from me… so quickly. Please understand—”
“ I’ll do it ,” she blurted out, another pair of tears escaping her eyes. Her hand held onto my fingers while she looked into my eyes. “I’ll do it for you— for Pearl .”
Afraid I might lose control, I quickly pulled my hand away from hers, sitting back while I shakily grabbed my drink. “Thank you, Emma.” I kept my gaze away from hers as I took another sip. “I appreciate it. Um, you can go now… tell your friends and family that the wedding will be on the fourteenth. Because it’s January, it’ll be an indoor affair.” Swallowing hard, I tried to organize my racing thoughts. “Because of my mother’s condition, it will be held at the mansion. That way, she can be escorted to her suite whenever she needs. The official story is that we will honeymoon in St. Lucia for the week following the wedding.”
I saw her hastily grab her notepad and pen, jotting down what I was saying while her eyes repeatedly blinked. I felt bad for her with all my heart, but I knew that I would be able to treat her with kindness for the period of her stay. Besides, the money should be a fair compensation; if she asked for more, I would happily pay.
But I also knew that I needed to clarify another important point. “Emma?”
“Hmm?” She lifted her gaze quickly. “ I got it all.”
“It’s only fair to agree on this as well… you don’t have to think of this as a real marriage. It’s open—your life will not be changed, except that you will be staying with us. You can still work here during that period if you choose to. And… if the opportunity arises, of course you can go on dates and have your own private life away from me. Just—I implore you not to let it be known, especially to my mother. She can’t think of—”
“ Of course not ,” she quickly cut in. “That goes without saying. I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Grabbing a freshly printed document, I laid it out in front of her. “This is a contract with our agreement and the payment defining it. It was prepared by our family lawyer. He’s the only soul who knows about this—the only person who needs to know.”
“A contract?”
“This is only to make you feel comfortable. Rest assured that your rights are reserved and—
“I—I trust you, Mr. Allen. We don’t need to do this.”
“Please. First of all, you need to learn to call me by my name now. You can’t slip in front of anyone and address me like I’m still only your boss.”
“Of course. Dean .”
“Please sign it. I already did. It’ll make us both feel a lot better. Do it for me. I don’t want this hanging over my head at a time like this.”
“O—Of course.” I watched her hands hurriedly slide the document towards her, and without reading it, she jotted down her signature next to all the pink stickers.
Next, I grabbed the other file I had been putting together. After making all the necessary calls, I had collected everything Emma could possibly need .
“Here.” I handed her the file. “You’ll find the contacts and information for the best wedding planner in New York; a celebrity hair stylist, and a Hollywood makeup artist to be flown in from Los Angeles. There are also two pending orders for a wedding dress in your size to be delivered by express from Paris or Italy, please, choose the one you like. They also have an active order for my suit, so we don’t need to think about that.”
“Oh my God, you thought of everything.” She sounded breathless as she pulled out the documents.
“Please contact the planner first. She’s my cousin’s partner and she’ll get everything together in no time at all. Also, I would recommend you share your guest list with her by tomorrow, so she can send out the invitations.”
Even though she looked rightfully overwhelmed, Emma rose to the occasion. Standing up, she straightened her shoulders and hugged the file to her chest. “You don’t need to worry about a thing.” She nodded. “I got this.”
At that moment, if Emma Nixon had grown a white pair of wings, it wouldn’t have surprised me in the slightest.
And when she eventually left, I could finally allow my tears to take a hold of me… and they were mercilessly vindictive.