Chapter 21
Pushed Too Far
“ A gain,” Bradan barks at me.
I’m bent over with my palms on my knees, trying to catch my breath. He’s been pushing me so hard. I’m tired and ready to get something to eat. I don’t want to train anymore.
“Don’t you think that’s enough? We’ve been at it for hours today. I’m exhausted, Bray,” I say with a pout.
“Do you think your enemies will care that you’re exhausted? Do you think they will hesitate because you’ve been at it for hours? I said again.”
“I said no. I’m tired. I’m done,” I bite back.
I turn to walk away and grab my towel. For the last three weeks all I’ve done is study and train. For a month, I’ve been learning to use my powers, but Bradan has been adamant about training me to use them in combat. My mind and body are spent.
“Taylor,” he growls behind me.
I keep walking. I’m going to find me a sandwich and a nap. He can suck it.
Before I can get to the exit of the gym, he appears in front of me. I stop in my tracks and glare up at him. Anger begins to stir inside me. It rushes through me so fast I can’t stop the power that surges through me.
I hold my hands out, palms up. Flames appear in both palms. My ears and cheeks feel heated as I stand ready to attack.
“There you go. I knew you had it in you.”
“Get out of my way, Bradan,” I snap.
He tilts his head to the side and studies me. “Or what, little one? Do you think you have it in you?”
He holds his arms out to his side and beckons me with his hands in a come-on motion. Something begins to pulse within me. It’s like my powers begin to thump in my veins.
“Bradan, I can’t,” I say and stumble back, palming my forehead.
He moves for me swiftly and catches me as I go tumbling toward the floor. I’m in his arms as he carries me bridal style from the training room.
“I’m right here, baby. You’re going to be okay. Shit, I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. I just feel how close you are to crossing to the next level.”
“I’ll be fine,” I murmur. “Some sleep and I’ll be good as new.”
Suddenly, he freezes. I lift my head from his chest and look up into his face. His eyes are glazed over and distant.
“Bray, what is it?”
“Reilly. He’s losing control. I need you far away from him,” he says before he transports us to our bedroom.
He places me on the bed and pins me with a stern look. I’m trembling from the concern I feel rolling off him. I don’t understand what’s going on.
“Stay here. Don’t leave this room. Do you understand me?”
I nod and draw my legs up into my chest. Bradan leans in to kiss my forehead. Looking up at him, I search his eyes for answers.
Without another word, he disappears from the room. I’m left to wring my hands in worry as I wait for his return. I lie on my side and curl into a ball.
I try to stay awake to find out what’s going on when he returns, but I fall asleep. As my breathing evens out, I know right away I’m falling into dreamland. I haven’t had those dreams in the last month that I’ve been here with Bradan.
I’m in front of the fire once again. The same braids hang over my shoulders. I lift my head and look toward the fire. I want to see who’s on the other side this time.
“Api Kecil, it is time.”
“Time for what?” I ask.
“It’s time for the gift I’ve given you to awaken. The one that lives inside needs to remind you what you’re capable of. The fire has been lit, but she has to hand it over,” he says.
“Who are you?”
“I am the father of all. I am the beginning and the end. I am the truth and the light that will guide you to your greater self. I am the breath that stokes the fire of life within you.”
“Why me?”
I look around me and notice others surround the fire with me tonight. I feel connected to them all. Their presence seems so familiar to me. However, while in this dream everything feels so confusing.
Suddenly, the dream shifts. I drop to my knees as Bradan’s roar of agony fills my ears. I know it’s him. Even though I can’t see him, I can feel his pain.
“Taylor … Taylor,” he bellows as if pleading for me.
I want to tell him I’m safe, but I can’t. All I can do is feel his worry and anger. I push to try to communicate with him, but it’s useless.
“Taylor,” I look up as my name is called. Sitting before me on her knees is a young girl with a pretty brown face. She has two braids in her hair. One over each shoulder.
Her eyes are glowing yellow as she looks back at me. She’s a pretty girl. I’m just not sure why she’s here. Then something clicks.
“Api Kecil?” I breathe.
“Yes, Taylor, it is I.”
“What’s going on? I need to save Bradan.”
“He is fine. This hasn’t happened yet, but you need to be ready for when it does.”
“How?”
“I was blessed at birth with a gift that was always meant to be yours. It was safest with me and my pack. Bradan was there to train my wolf. He and Alpha Bruce looked out for me as a young pup.
“I had grown to love Bradan and had a crush on him until I found my fated mate. I realized then that maybe your gift wasn’t the only thing I held that didn’t belong to me. I believe Bradan had feelings for me, but not those you have for a lover. It was in death that I saw how much he cared for me,” she explains.
“But don’t the wolves live long lives?”
“Yes, we do. I met with the misfortune of coming across the hunters. I had been mated to a wolf from another pack and moved away.
“It was in my mate’s pack that I was poisoned and led to the hunters. Now you are here, and our purpose can carry on. It is time, Taylor,” she replies.
“Time for what?”
“Time for you to fully awaken. You may be the smallest, but you are not the weakest. Over time, your strength will grow. When this moment comes, you will be able to save him and yourself.”
“How will I know this moment has come?”
“The children of the phoenix will rise, and the song of the siren will come forth. Then you will know.”
“Taylor, baby girl, wake up.”
I’m jolted from my sleep and sit bolt upright, opening my eyes to find Bradan staring at me with concern in his gaze. I lift my hand to my face and wipe the sweat from my brow.
“You were thrashing in your sleep. Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine. Just a dream.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been pushing you too hard.”
“No, no. I have dreams sometimes. Nothing new. How is Reilly? Is everything okay?”
“Reilly has found his mate.”
“But shouldn’t that be a good thing?”
“It is, but somehow, they were separated. He thought he lost her. That was the reason for him destroying everything in sight.”
“Is there anything I can do? Do you know if she’s Lee?”
“I haven’t met her. Kendrick is handling everything. Reilly disappeared with her to his chambers before I got to the gate when she arrived.”
“So she’s here?” I say excitedly.
“Yes, we will give them some time before we disturb them to find out if she’s Lee or not.”
I smile and laugh. “I’m sure they’ll need it. Can I ask you something?”
I knit my brows and look down into my lap as my mind goes back to my dream. I’m still a little confused about it. Bradan’s screams are still ringing in my ear.
He pinches my chin and lifts my head to meet his gaze. I want to burst into tears as I look into his handsome face. The agony I heard him in shook me to my core.
“Are you sure blessed iron is the only way to hurt you?” I say just above a whisper.
“I am. Why? You plotting a way to get me back for training?”
I swat my hand against his chest. “No, I could never do anything to hurt you.”
He laughs. “Could have fooled me. I was pretty sure you were going to attack me earlier.”
“I don’t know what happened. My anger got the best of me. I didn’t mean?—”
He cups my throat and brings my lips to his. “All is forgiven, baby girl. It’s that fire I’m trying to draw out. Don’t change a thing. I’m proud of you,” he says before devouring my lips.
I pull back before I forget all my thoughts. I need to understand that dream. It feels so important that I do.
“Bradan, can I ask you something else?”
“You can ask me anything you like, Taylor. I have nothing to hide from you.”
“Do you know the name Api Kecil?” I ask cautiously.
He stiffens and anger fills his face. I don’t sense it’s anger with me, but it’s clear this name rings a bell and not a good one. I wonder if she was wrong and he did have romantic feelings for her.
“Where have you heard that name?” he says in a low rumble.
“I’ve been dreaming about her for months. At first, it was only her name. Now, it’s different.”
“Different how?”
“I’ve seen her. We’ve talked in the dream.”
He purses his lips and runs a hand through his hair. A wide range of emotions cross his face. Now I wish I hadn’t asked.
“Api Kecil was one of the she-wolves back when Alpha Bruce was the alpha over the entire Sapphire Moon pack. Well before the triplets’ father was born. Her parents were killed in a battle with some rogues while protecting the luna.
“Alpha Bruce took her in and raised her as he and Luna Amelia didn’t have pups of their own at the time. Their first pup was born not too long after, but they loved Api Kecil like their own. There was always something special about Api Kecil.
“Not just her kind heart, but you could sense her wolf would be strong from an early age. When she did receive her wolf at eighteen, Alpha Bruce called for me. Api Kecil had a rare wolf. The packs call them fire wolves and they appear once every thousand years.”
“Wow, really? The girls told me about the gifted wolves.”
“Yes, the Sapphire Moon pack is named after their first luna. She was a Sapphire wolf. Also very rare. Sapphire wolves, however, only appear when the moon goddess decides it’s time.
“Usually when the pack needs protecting and healing. Alpha Bruce was concerned for Api Kecil. She didn’t know how to control her wolf or her powers at first. I was able to help her,” he says.
“Then what happened?”
“I spent three years with the pack, training her to control her wolf and guiding her to learn to use her gifts. Then an alpha from another pack came to form an alliance with Alpha Bruce and I knew right away he was Api Kecil’s mate.
“She left with him to live with his pack, and I returned to my brothers here. She was happy, and a year later, she had her first pup. However, there was a she-wolf in the pack who had been the alpha’s chosen mate before he found Api Kecil.
“He didn’t think he would find her. He was twenty-five and had all but given up. His chosen mate hated Api Kecil.
“Not long after Api Kecil gave birth to her son, while the alpha went away on business, that treacherous bitch drugged his luna and led her to her death. Her wolf was too weak from the poison to protect her.”
“Oh my God. That’s horrible.”
He swallows hard and his eyes become distant. I see so much guilt in his eyes. I can’t help but wonder what the guilt is for.
“I should have felt something was wrong. I should have saved her. I could have saved her if I had gotten her to Reilly in time. I … I just didn’t feel it happening. Our connection was somehow broken.
“She’s the only one I’ve ever given that special link to. It’s not like the one between the community. When she moved so far away, I deepened our bond so she would always be able to reach me, no matter what,” he says.
“You loved her,” I say.
He swings his gaze to me. I’m not asking him. It’s clear in his voice and his words.
“Not as you think. It was never like that for me. Do I know she wanted more before she found her mate? Yes, but I had only grown fond of her like a little sister I needed to protect.”
“What happened to her mate and her son?”
“He received a second-chance mate. Their son happens to be Tala’s grandfather. Her father is from one of the Sapphire packs. That’s how she ended up there.”
“That makes sense, she does remind me some of Api Kecil.”
“Tell me, what are these dreams about?”
“I don’t know. They are so confusing. Sometimes, they feel like memories. As if I’m watching the past. Can you see them?” I ask as I open my mind for him to dig through.
“No,” he says in frustration. “They are a blur as your thoughts of Lee were.”
“Oh, I wonder why.”
“Come, rest. We will figure it all out later.”
He climbs into the bed and rests his back against the headboard, then holds his arms out to me. I move closer to him and rest against his chest. It doesn’t take long before I drift off to sleep once again.
Bradan
“Ace, Dom, Nik, have there been any changes within your packs?” I ask as I reach out to the alphas.
“Nothing we’ve been made aware of. Is everything all right?” Ace responds through our connection.
“Still mateless and cursed over here,” Nik says.
“Yeah, about that. I get the feeling that’s going to change very soon,” I say back.
“I told you. We’re not cursed. I don’t think our mates have anything to do with what’s going on with the packs,” Dom says to his brother.
“Brother, I respect your studies and all the knowledge you have of the sciences, but this is a curse. Our lycans are asleep and not even our wolves can awaken them. There hasn’t been a fated pair in our packs in four years. The packs are starting to notice. It’s a curse. Our wolves know it as much as we do.”
“My wolf isn’t sure of any such thing. There has to be something else going on,” Dom challenges.
“Enough. We haven’t been contacted for this,” Ace bites out. “Bradan, what makes you say things are going to change?”
“ My mate has dreamed of a wolf she should not know about. Have you noticed she’s drawn to you wolves?”
“As we are her. I thought that was because of our connection to you,” Ace muses.
“ That was my thought initially. However, I know the gods are up to something. The moon goddess could be a part of whatever their scheme is. She is one of my father’s siblings.”
“What do you need us to do, brother?” Nik says.
“Kendrick has talked of giving Ray a court. I believe I should do the same. Seeing as she’s most comfortable around the wolves and she’s been dreaming of one, I want to ask each of you to assign she-wolves you trust to serve and protect her,” I reply.
“Already done,” Ace says. “Tala, Sierra, and Nika have assumed the role and came to us to request our permission weeks ago. We will find you three more.”
“Thank you, brother. Let me know if anything changes that I should know about.”
Closing the connection, I stare down at Taylor, wondering what the gods are truly up to. Why is she dreaming of Api Kecil? I snort to myself. Taylor does remind me somewhat of my old little friend.
She too, was fierce with a ton of potential. However, with Api Kecil, I used to get the feeling she never truly tapped into all she was capable of. As if there had been a block keeping her from accessing her full strength.
Taylor is just the opposite. Her powers are right below the surface, ready to be released. I saw it when I pissed her off.
Had she not begun to faint, I think I could have gotten her to peak. I know she has the power to transform. I can feel it. I’m not sure she has a full release, as my brothers and I have. She may never tap into her own avatar. That was a blessing from our father.
However, Taylor will know the power of transformation. I have this gut feeling she will need it. My heart still aches for the way I failed Api Kecil.
I could never allow that to happen to Taylor. I would fall on my own sword before I allow harm to come to her. She is what I breathe for now.
“You have become my everything, little one. I think I loved you before I knew you were my mate. Just one smile and you had my heart,” I murmur to her as she lies sleeping on my chest.
There will be hell to pay for anyone who tries to harm my mate. I have given all the passes I can tolerate. The mention of Api Kecil has reminded me of what leniency can cause.
“Rest well, my love. We’ll be training harder than ever before.”