Chapter 41 A Villa Divided #3
I craved that peace. I craved it almost every second of the day.
I looked down at my stomach, wondering if what I’d just felt was...
Effervescent bubbles.
My eyebrows scrunched down in concentration, and my eyes narrowed.
The feeling was there…then gone. I wondered if I’d just imagined it, or was it…stomach stuff rumbling around?
It happened again.
“You’re either concentrating really hard to feel the baby, or you’re thinking about what you had for breakfast and wondering where it all went wrong.”
I looked up and grinned at Scarlett. “Bubbles. I felt the fluttering of bubbles, but it didn’t feel like…stomach stuff. It felt like my stomach turned into a bottle of sparking water for a second.”
She smiled at me. It was the first real smile I’d seen from her since we were left here. Same, Scarlett, same.
“That’s…the baby.” Mia popped up next to her.
“I know you both have a feeling— boy or girl.”
Scarlett looked at Mia, Mia looked at Scarlett, then they both looked at me.
“I don’t want to know…for sure,” I said. “Rocco and I agreed we rarely get good surprises in life, and this is one of them. My feeling is saying girl, but…”
“Good,” Scarlett breathed. “I have a feeling, but I’m not one hundred percent for sure, either way.”
“I’m not saying a word,” Mia said with a faint smile, and then she turned in the direction her sons went running in, her daughter on her hip.
Scarlett watched her for a moment, then took the seat beside me. “You weren’t saving this spot for anyone?”
“Someone,” I said. “But seeing as he’s not here right now, no one better to fill his spot.”
“Same,” she whispered.
Scarlett’s close presence made me think of Massimo and Chloe again.
I had veered off when the bubbles took my attention, and knowing it was the baby had made feel giddy.
On the other hand, my heart was yearning so badly for Rocco, I felt sick.
And even though I couldn’t feel like Scarlett could, I could tell she was feeling the same way—heart sick and worrying herself to death.
I cleared my throat. “Remember when I’d asked you about Chloe and Massimo?”
If she was thrown by the change in the direction of the conversation, she didn’t show it. She nodded. “When I’d told you that what I feel isn’t always forever.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. Massimo wasn’t close, but the male Fausti hearing seemed legendary. “What did you mean by that? Isn’t always forever?”
She sighed, and her eyes turned to Massimo for a moment before she turned back to me.
“I have feelings, Ari, and most of the time they’re right.
But…I only know what I feel. At that moment, maybe the love between them was meant to be.
I don’t know…I knew it was going to be a struggle for Chloe, and for Rosaria.
I knew right away Rosaria was going to fight to the death—and she did, but in my opinion, for the wrong things.
Who cares who Massimo loves? If someone makes him happy, that should be enough.
As a mamma, that’s all I want for my children. To be healthy and happy.”
“Same.”
She nodded and squeezed my hand. “You’re going to be such a good mamma.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, squeezing her hand back.
I didn’t have it in me to even smile. I felt too weighted down by the distance between my husband and me.
I wanted to stand, but at the same time, I needed to sit.
That was my entire life as of late—I couldn’t stand to do one thing, and I couldn’t stand to do another, so I wasn’t sure what to do with myself.
The only time I felt at peace, truly, was when I was on my knees in church.
Scarlett understood this.
A moment later, she popped up.
“Let’s walk.”
I nodded. “A few rounds around the trees, then let’s sit down again.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “That same restlessness is inside of me too. I don’t know what to do with it.
I never have when my husband is away from me.
From the very beginning, and I know it’ll be to the very end, if he isn’t close, it feels like my air is running out of my lungs, but I’m still breathing. ”
My words exactly, but I couldn’t find the breath to express them.
There were times when she was the same way, and I was the one filling in the silence that needed to be broken.
We both stood at the same time, and we began walking at the same time.
We said nothing, especially when we grew closer to Ermanno, Uncle Tito, and Massimo.
Massimo nodded to us. Ermanno turned away and began walking off.
Uncle Tito took both of our hands and squeezed.
When he wanted to go on walks with us, and one of the men pushed, sometimes he’d hold both of our hands as we walked.
He only did that with me and Scarlett. He wouldn’t go with any of the other women when they asked.
I’d catch Carmen looking at Scarlett and me from time to time with a narrowness in her eyes I’d never registered before. Juliette never seemed bothered by it.
Uncle Tito’s eyes hooked on Ermanno, and when he was too far off in the distance, Uncle Tito ordered Massimo to push him behind Ermanno.
“I must keep an eye on him,” he whispered to himself. “If he cannot see the world with one, I will be his two.”
After they were ahead of us, Scarlett whispered, “Uncle Tito will get Ermanno back to where he needs to be.”
I looked in the distance and found Azzurra by herself, kicking rocks as she walked alone. She seemed sullen and withdrawn, too, but I had a feeling if Ermanno would’ve looked at her like he used to do and asked her to take a walk…she would have perked up.
She’d told me when we first spoke after the battle that Ermanno was her hero, and she wasn’t sure what to do to save him. All I could do was squeeze her shoulder and tell her to give him time, to be patient while he recovered and got to know himself again.
At their age…it was hard to give advice. Azzurra was a young girl who felt she was in love with him (she’d told me that too), and he was a Fausti…which meant he was probably dealing with a complex number of emotions he didn’t know how to deal with.
“Ermanno has given Uncle Tito a reason to come back to the living,” Scarlett whispered.
“And so has…Avelina. He feels Aunt Lola had a hand in her name, and she would want him to take care of Ermanno, which was the name they would’ve chosen if they would’ve had a son.
Uncle Tito feels like Aunt Lola is speaking to him. ”
“There’s something so special about him,” I whispered. “Sometimes that immediately puts you at ease and lets you heal.”
Scarlett grew quiet, and then she sighed. “I wonder sometimes about Chloe,” she whispered, apropos of nothing. “Her art. She wants a piece of herself to live on.”
I stopped walking, and so did she.
“A son will do that too,” I said, matching her soft tone.
“A child is living proof, for some, of true love. At the least…a way to carry on their lineage.”
“So…you do believe it was right between them.”
Scarlett nodded. “Yes, at the time, however fleeting that moment was—except a child is not a fleeting moment, a child is just as strong as the written word. He or she lives on in our story even when it’s time for us to leave it.”
That sounded very ominous, and I shivered. When she delivered that in that tone, she reminded me of Eva when she’d wear her cloak in winter and deliver news of dreams to people who should heed her warnings.
Scarlett cleared her throat. “I haven’t thought about this for a long while.
Years ago, we’d all gone on a family vacation to Switzerland.
Italians often vacation in snowy locations during winter, just as they flock to the beaches in summer.
Alessandra would sometimes be there with her family, since her family was good friends with the Faustis.
Luca enjoys her father’s company. Anyway, she used to stare at Massimo—a lot.
As young girls do with handsome men. I felt then that it could’ve been a match between them, but…
it was Massimo’s feelings that turned me in another direction.
He had absolutely no interest in her because he felt Rosaria would approve the match. ”
“Ahh,” I breathed out. “He played victim to reverse psychology.”
“And Rosaria was part of the game. Whatever he felt she expected of him…he’d go in the opposite direction.”
“You didn’t feel that when he fell for Chloe?” My tone was light, and there was no judgment coming from me, only curiosity.
“I felt him fall for Chloe. I felt it was right between them. But.” She sighed.
“I only know what I feel from other people. Some people are extremely complex. Did Massimo fall for her because he knew Rosaria wouldn’t approve?
He’d trained himself to do two things over the years: compete with my son, Matteo, because Rosaria pushed him to, and to do the opposite of what Rosaria wanted when it came to women.
“It reminded me of…how when people are brought up in very controlling environments, and they select one thing to control—like food. Does the person really like eating all that sugar? Or is what they really love the freedom to eat it? That’s not always easy to feel and understand, as odd as that sounds.
I feel the love—the meant to be—but is it because he’s so in love with falling in love with someone his mamma wouldn’t approve of? ”
I nodded. “That makes a lot of sense. But wasn’t Chloe drawing Massimo before she met him?”
“She was. At first glance, it looked like Matteo, but there were subtle differences.” She sighed, longer, harder.
“I still believe it was meant to be between them, even if Massimo chose someone his mamma wouldn’t approve of to prove he could make his own decisions.
You don’t just draw someone you haven’t met for no reason.
Massimo’s a burning light in her heart. Chloe…
she just can’t thrive inside the Fausti lines. ”
“It’s hard lines.”
“For sure,” Scarlett agreed.
“Chloe can’t live with who he belongs to,” I said.
“And it doesn’t seem like she can tear herself away either.
She’s made a lot of bad decisions.” Our conversation hit a lull after this, both of us lost to our own thoughts, until I cleared my throat.
“If Massimo isn’t going to be the next leader…
can’t he just…quit the family in a way?”
Scarlett shrugged. “That would be up to him, but…Massimo has it in him to lead. Even if he’s not the next king, his father is, and he’s high in the family. He leads his brothers.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. I’d noticed that at dinners.
It was like Massimo’s brothers were lost without him, and when he came home, their world was set right again.
Maybe because without Massimo, Amadeo would have to lead, and he was content being who he was in their world—a spare to the heir, just like Dario.
Thandie walked up then, and we both turned toward her. “How’s he doing today?” She nodded toward Ermanno.
“The same,” I said.
She nodded. “Maybe I should try talking to him?”
Thandie was hesitant about trying to talk to Ermanno.
She wanted him to accept her into his life, but up until that moment, Thandie had dedicated her life to her career, and she felt unequipped in dealing with Ermanno and his Fausti issues.
But as Scarlett reminded her, the Fausti family was a family of soldiers, and she would probably be able to reach Ermanno on a level none of us could.
Once she reached him there, maybe he would reach her on a different level.
Besides feeling the fluttering bubbles in my stomach, which had reached my heart and settled there, Scarlett reminding Thandie of this made me feel warm inside. Thandie needed Ermanno, and Ermanno needed Thandie.
Thandie nodded at the advice, then stuck her hands in her pockets as she walked ahead of us and reached Massimo. She offered to push Uncle Tito while they followed behind Ermanno.
Although Uncle Tito had not been a father, he had been a father figure to many. I was sure he was going to help aid Thandie in talking to Ermanno too. Maybe it would take the village to reach him, but that was the amazing thing about a village—no one was left alone in a time of need.
Massimo nodded at Scarlett and me as he passed. Rocco had given him a certain amount of time to heal, and he’d be cleared to go to war soon. Another man for me to be sick with worry over.
Maggie Beautiful emerged from wherever she’d been catnapping in the sun, and she pinched Massimo’s cheeks before she met us, breathless.
“I hate this,” she murmured. “The hiding. Not being a part of the action. Because then you have no idea what’s going on.”
Scarlett and I both nodded.
Maggie Beautiful bit her lip, then released it.
“Do either of you resent me for this? I know what I asked is a big thing, but it felt like the right thing to ask. I hate the fighting between our men. I don’t want to not be here to stop it.
Maybe I couldn’t, even if I was here. I don’t know why, but I’ve reached a point in my life where I can’t even stand the thought of it.
I understand Grazia and her wishes like never before. ”
Scarlett shook her head. “It’s easy to resent a lot of people for doing this or not doing that.
Lord knows I had my share of resentful people against me—just for being me.
This…special touch, or ‘gift,’ or whatever you want to call it, has never been easy to carry around.
The only reason I’ve ever embraced it is because it keeps my husband safe.
I still know when he’s in danger. But plenty of people haven’t seen my ‘gift’ that way. As a gift.”
“It’s caused wars,” I said.
“Yes,” she said. “It has.”
The three of us became quiet then, because in that moment, we realized we were deep inside of another war, as if the news had only just dawned on us, and it had only just begun.