Chapter 3 #3
Even after all the disappointment, she still couldn’t completely let go of Elias. Still couldn’t stop needing him. Loving him had become such a habit that she no longer knew how to stop.
Many times, she stared at his number for several long minutes, wanting to call him again.
But she never did.
So instead, she opened Instagram.
Her fingers trembled slightly as she opened their chat and stared at his profile picture for a long time before finally typing a message.
‘Elias… I’m scared. The doctor said I have a brain tumor and that I might not wake up after the operation. I’m terrified.’
After sending the message, she stared at the screen anxiously, waiting for the word “seen” to appear.
It never did.
The messages remained unseen.
Still, she sent another text later that night.
‘How are you doing? I guess you’re very busy with work. You haven’t been picking up my calls, so I stopped calling. I don’t want to disturb you, but I thought maybe I could text you instead.’
Her fingers paused weakly over the keyboard before she typed one final line.
‘Did you get my message? I was hoping you would reply.’
The messages remained unseen.
No response ever came.
A week before her surgery, Amara texted him again.
The pain inside her head had become so severe that she could barely even sit up from bed.
‘I was very sick today. My head wouldn’t stop hurting and I vomited so much.’
She typed slowly while lying weakly beneath the blankets.
‘I’ve been lying in bed for the past five days. I couldn’t even look at sunlight anymore, so I asked the maids to install blackout curtains in the room. I stay in complete darkness now because it hurts less that way.’
Her trembling fingers paused briefly before continuing again.
‘I can’t eat anything. Every time the pain throbs inside my head, I feel nauseous again and throw up. But today I feel a little better. ‘
Then slowly, her expression softened painfully.
‘I miss you so much.’
The words alone made her chest ache.
‘I wish I could see you. I haven’t gone this long without seeing you since we got married. This is the first time we’ve been apart for more than a month.’
From then on, she kept texting him regularly.
Small messages.
Tiny updates about her day.
Sometimes she told him about the hospital visits.
Sometimes she told him how much pain she was in.
Sometimes she simply told him she missed him.
Those messages slowly became the only thing keeping her emotionally together.
Because whenever she texted him, even without replies, it felt as though he was still beside her somehow.
Like she hadn’t completely lost him yet.
Especially during the nights when the pain became unbearable and she lay awake crying silently into her pillow, she needed someone.
And the person she needed most was him.
She didn’t want to worry her parents. Juliet was already doing too much for her.
But Elias was nowhere near her.
And even though disappointment kept breaking her heart over and over again, that stubborn hope inside her chest refused to die completely.
So she kept texting him every day.
As though she were leaving pieces of herself behind for him to read someday.
Little letters filled with pain.
Fear.
Loneliness.
Love.
So much love.
But every single message remained unseen.
He never opened them.
Never replied.
Never reacted.
Nothing.
And the more she stared at those unread messages, the more one painful thought slowly began consuming her.
‘Does he really not care about me at all…?’
And then—
The day of the surgery finally came.
Amara lay on the stretcher outside the operating theater, staring blankly at the bright white ceiling above her as doctors and nurses moved around her.
The bright white lights above her were so harsh that they made her already pale face look almost colorless.
Her fingers clutched the thin hospital blanket tightly against her stomach while her heartbeat pounded violently inside her chest.
Every few seconds, she forced herself to inhale slowly, but the air still felt trapped inside her lungs. Her fingers trembled uncontrollably against the blanket as her eyes remained fixed on the operation theatre doors only a few feet away from her.
Cold.
Silent.
Terrifying.
The thought that she might enter that room and never wake up again made panic crawl through every inch of her body.
A doctor walked over toward her while looking through the papers in his hands. His expression softened slightly when he stopped beside her stretcher.
“Mrs. Creed,” he said gently, “this is a very serious surgery. If there are any family members you want here, you should call them now.”
The words made her chest ache sharply.
Almost instinctively, her trembling fingers reached for her phone again.
She had already called Elias again earlier.
The call still hadn’t gone through.
Even now…
Even after being ignored again and again…
The person she wanted was still Elias.
She unlocked the phone quickly and pressed his number. The call failed to connect.
She tried again immediately, gripping the phone harder this time as though that alone would somehow make him answer.
Still nothing.
The disappointment hit her so hard that tears instantly burned her eyes.
Her fingers slowly loosened around the phone before she lowered it shakily into her chest. For several seconds she simply stared blankly at the ceiling, then opened Instagram again and clicked on their chat.
‘You never answered my calls. I wanted to see you just one last time before the doctors take me inside for the surgery.’
Her hands were trembling so badly that she mistyped twice before finally managing to write properly.
‘The doctor said there’s a chance I might not survive the surgery. But I can’t tell my parents about it because I don’t want them to worry.’
A tear slid quietly down her cheek and disappeared into her hair near her temple. Her fingers hovered over the screen for a few seconds before she typed again.
‘Juliet is here with me, but… I still wanted you beside me. Even though you weren’t here for me… I still can’t force my heart to stop loving you.
By now her vision had become completely blurry from tears.
‘I’m scared, Elias. I wish you were here.’
She blinked quickly and wiped her face with the back of her hand before finishing the message.
After she was done, Amara stared silently at the screen for several long seconds.
She had imagined that if she ever got the chance to say her final words to Elias, it would take pages and pages to explain everything she felt.
But somehow—
It only took a few minutes.
Because the fear, pain, loneliness, and love she felt for him had already been suffocating her for too long.
This might become the last message she ever sent him.
Even if he never read it.
Even if he never cared.
Before she could lose the courage, she quickly pressed the send button.
The message disappeared into the chat instantly.
Still unseen.
Just like all the others.
Amara slowly lowered the phone beside her on the stretcher and shut her eyes tightly.
Amara slowly lowered the phone onto the stretcher beside her before shutting her eyes tightly. She pressed her trembling fingers against her forehead and took several shaky breaths, trying desperately to calm herself down.
But it wasn’t working.
The fear only kept growing stronger.
As she struggled to steady her breathing, Juliet suddenly rushed over to her side. The moment Juliet looked at Amara’s face, her expression tightened with worry.
“Where’s Elias?” Juliet asked immediately.
Amara slowly opened her eyes and turned her head slightly. Juliet stood next to the stretcher with her arms crossed tightly against her chest, anger and disbelief written all over her face.
“Didn’t you tell him about the surgery even until now?” she asked again.
Pain flashed briefly across Amara’s face. She immediately lowered her eyes, a flicker of embarrassment crossed her pale face.
“I did,” Her voice sounded small. “But I think he’s busy.”
She tried to smile faintly.
“He didn’t see my messages… and he didn’t answer my calls either. He’s probably very busy.”
The moment those words left her mouth, Juliet’s expression darkened completely.
“You’re kidding me, right?” Juliet snapped angrily. “His wife is about to go into a life-threatening surgery, and he’s busy making money?”
She immediately pulled out her phone angrily.
“Making money for what? Your fucking funeral?” she snapped. “I’ll call him right now—”
Before Juliet could press the screen, Amara quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist.
“Don’t.”
Juliet froze and looked down at her.
Amara’s pale lips curved into a small, exhausted smile.
“Maybe letting him pay for my funeral wouldn’t be such a bad use of his money in the end.”
A weak laugh escaped her lips afterward.
The joke was light.
But the sadness behind it crushed Juliet instantly.
Juliet’s eyes reddened with frustration and panic.
“You’re still making a joke?” she said angrily, her voice trembling emotionally. “Do you even understand how serious this surgery is? The doctors literally told me there’s a very high chance you could die on that operating table!”
Her voice cracked near the end.
“This isn’t some small surgery! Why don’t you understand that?” Juliet’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m terrified for you.”
Amara’s weak smile slowly faded.
Her glossy eyes lowered toward her trembling hands resting against the blanket, and suddenly a painful thought crossed her mind.
‘I’m about to walk toward death… and I’m still hoping for his affection.’
A part of her still desperately hoped Elias loved her.
How pathetic was that?
A tear rolled silently down her cheek.
Her fingers slowly tightened into fists.
Then finally, in a low trembling whisper that was barely audible even to herself, she said—
“It’s time to end this marriage.”
Juliet heard it clearly. But she said nothing.
The man Amara loved the most…
was also the man hurting her the most.
And that was the cruelest thing of all.
Amara blinked away the tears gathering in her eyes before slowly turning toward Juliet.
“Don’t tell my parents about the operation.”
Juliet frowned instantly. “Amara—”
“I don’t want them to worry,” Amara continued quietly, her voice exhausted. “And don’t tell Elias either.”
At his name, her lashes lowered slightly.
“He has no interest in me anyway,” she whispered bitterly. “Calling him would be useless. Just let it be. I don’t want to disturb him anymore.”
Juliet’s expression tightened painfully.
“Alright,” she said softly after a moment, rubbing her thumb across Amara’s cold hand. “I get it.”
Amara gave a tiny nod before glancing around the empty hallway nervously. Then she leaned slightly closer toward Juliet.
“I have something more important to ask you.”
Juliet immediately became alarmed.
She leaned forward quickly. “What is it?”