11. Truth Bombs
eleven
Nathan drove me home, and as I got out of the car, I heard him say, “There’s this New Year’s party tonight. It’s supposed to be one of the best in town. Go with me.”
Closing the door, I leaned in through the rolled-down window. “I’ll think about it.”
Every step I took up the stairs was a heartbeat as I recalled every detail from the night that had ended too soon. The way his hands grabbed my body, like he was afraid I would suddenly disappear. The manner in which his lips consumed me, leaving my skin raw in several places. How his intoxicated eyes engulfed every inch of me, as if drunk… lost… like I was the last person on Earth.
It was a delightful memory that I kept playing over and over in my head while my feet treaded closer to the apartment door. As soon as I turned the key, I heard Travis clear his throat and wondered what he was doing up at half-past-five in the morning. Pushing the door open, I chuckled, my syllables breaking, “Wow, early bird!”
The way his eyebrows wrinkled in the middle while his eyes glared at me made me examine the rest of him. Taken aback, I noticed the way he leaned forward in his chair, holding both hands under his chin. The TV remote was right there in front of him on the coffee table, and when I turned to the screen, I saw nothing. It was on with no picture.
“I know where you were,” he finally said. His tone was both angry and deeply hurt.
I slowly shook my head. “And?”
His eyes grew angrier, confirming to me that something was terribly wrong. Shifting abruptly, he pushed himself forward even more, leaving nothing but his ass on the edge of the chair. Picking up the remote, he clenched his jaws. “And… here’s what popped up on my feed when I did a quick round, Sophie.”
He pushed a button, and I saw myself from above. It was a strange angle for someone to see themselves from; the top of one”s head. It was also more peculiar because of the lighting. I watched myself light the cigarette and took a deep breath.
Why was I not told that the old security cameras worked? And that they were manned by none other than Travis himself?
“I guess you don’t care if you set the place on fire,” he said from between his teeth. I turned to him and saw his eyes glued to the screen, while his face turned crimson. I turned to the screen again, and he started to press on fast-forward. “I guess you know what happens next.”
My eyes widened as I watched myself undo the top button of my dress. That was when Travis paused and said nothing. I felt his eyes on me while mine remained attached to the screen, unable to budge.
The silence between us didn’t come from my shame, but it was fed by his anger. Why was he so upset? It certainly wasn’t the cigarette or the fact that I had used my key to sneak inside. As my gaze jumped to examine his face, I sensed a different sort of resentment emanating from deep inside him.
None of that was my problem.
“Were you watching that live?” I asked, feeling the mindlessness lace my words.
“Oh, I got lucky.” He slowly nodded.
No longer able to hold back, I let disgust draw itself up all over my face as I parted my twisted lips. “I had no idea you were that disgusting, Travis!” I hissed. Without waiting for his response, I turned right round and reached for my empty duffel bag in the corner, angrily grabbing it.
Humiliation bubbled up inside me as I imagined all the things he could do with that footage. Because of the bad lighting and terribly old camera, Nathan’s face and mine weren’t at all recognizable. Still, my blood boiled as I thought of the people who would still find this ‘adult material’ arousing.
I heard Travis’ footsteps behind me as I grabbed my shirt from off the clothes line. “You’re angry?” he shouted. “You’re angry?”
Swiftly turning to face him, I yelled, “You’re a fucking perv!”
“Oh, I’m the perv.” He poked at his chest with his index finger. “Why wouldn’t you get a fuckin’ room like a normal person?”
“Why don’t you drop dead?” I shouted, turning away as I picked up my slippers and stuffed them into the bag. “I don’t owe you… or anyone else, a fucking thing.”
“No, you’re right.” He let out an embittered scoff. “I offer you a room, free of charge… I introduce you to my best friends—”
“And what?” I spun on my heel, feeling ready to punch him in the nose. “Suddenly, I owe you?” I felt my head about to burst with the loud scream. “Newsflash! You’re the one who offered. I never asked! And you’re—”
“I get it.” He threw his arms in the air. “I did it all. You never asked for this.”
“I don’t even know what this is anymore!”
“This is me… finding out what a fuckin’ who—”
“Don’t you dare!” I interrupted him, lifting up a warning finger. My heart was pounding so violently inside my chest that I thought it was about to explode. Was it rage? Fear? Both?
Yes, I was afraid.
Picking up my bag, I bolted past him toward the door. Just as my fingers clasped the knob, I heard him blurt out, “I like you!”
Fixed in place like a statue, my hand remained on the doorknob as I negotiated with myself to turn and look at him. I wanted nothing more than to feel safe in that moment, and if he was telling the truth, then he didn’t want to hurt me.
Finally, I filled my lungs with air and slowly turned around, my eyes landing immediately on his hands that were relaxed next to him. As he shrugged, he lifted them up only slightly. “I thought it was just a stupid crush, but every time you texted or called… every time you came around… I knew it wasn’t goin’ away.”
I tried to keep my expression serious and my tone steady. “How long?”
“Ever since we met?” He shook his head like it was a confession he’d been waiting to make.
Feeling slightly sympathetic, I swallowed against the tight feeling in my throat. “How come you never told me?”
“I was… wonderstruck?” His titter and the look in his eyes then revealed a great deal of heart-wrenching disappointment. “What did I know? You’re just like everybody else… a sellout.”
“Excuse me?”
“C’mon, Sof!” He took a step back, flailing his arms like he had nothing to prove. “He’s a known billionaire.”
“Billionaire?”
“By all means, act dumb. I don’t give a shit.” He turned away, opening the fridge and pulled out a bottle of juice.
“I didn’t take a penny from that guy!”
He turned to me with raised eyebrows as his hand twisted open the cap. “Oh, I thought you don’t owe me an explanation!”
Lost for words, I gritted my teeth.
How did one strike a balance between being free and not being misunderstood? The last thing I wanted was to hurt Travis’ feelings, but then again, he was stabbing mine with sharp words like they didn’t matter. I knew he was hurting, but where should I draw the line?
“I know you’re not gonna believe me, but I didn’t know the extent of his wealth.” I paused, moving the bag from my right hand to my left. “And none of this justifies you watching, so…”
“But anything is justified when you wanna get published in the big, mean world and turn your novel into a movie, right?”
That was it. I couldn’t fathom how that man—someone I thought was a friend—could accuse me of something so degrading. I slept in his apartment. He enjoyed my cooking. God, he saw my wet underwear as I hung it up in the bathroom.
My stomach turned. I had to get out of there. “Goodbye, Travis.” I finally pulled the door open and stepped outside. “Have fun with your little porno.”
And then I slammed it shut.
Yes, it was cold outside. But it was still better than having to face Travis’ misguided judgment. The wind blew harsher as I took the turn into the main street, so my eyes began searching for a place to go. The café down the road was still closed. When I approached, I saw two men inside wiping down the tables.
“A known billionaire.”
I knew that Nathan was wealthy and thought perhaps he had a million or two. But how ‘known’ was he, and what exactly made him a ‘billionaire’? I stood next to the café door with my bag nestled between my feet and pulled out the phone from my purse. Searching for his name, my eyes grew wider at the results.
Nathan Wright’s net worth, I typed.
Instead of a figure, I got several articles.
Top Lawyer and Mother Donate $5M To New York Law School.
Attorney Makes Record Donation to Buffalo Non-Profit.
For someone who donates seven-digit amounts, making personal information disappear from the internet must have been simple.
I heard the café door creak open and picked up my bag, quickly going in. Putting my things on the first table I found, I turned to the barista and asked, “Think I can find a hotel room for the day?”
His eyes were apprehensive as he glanced at his colleague, then turned back to me. “Uh—It’s New Year’s Eve, so it may be hard.”
“Right.” I nodded, my eyes roaming over the freshly baked goods laid out in front of me. Through the glass, I examined them for a second before pointing at one. “I’ll take the chocolate croissant.”
“Alright.” He picked up his tongs.
“Um, make that two.”
He smiled. “You got it.”
“You know?” His colleague approached. “The man who owns this place is out of town with his family. Feel free to stay here as long as you’d like until you find a place.”
“Really?” I dipped my head with a little bit of disbelief.
He shrugged and pointed at the tray his colleague was handing me. “Hey, you bought two.”
Grabbing the tray, I chuckled. “Wait until you hear my coffee order!”
Grateful that I didn’t need to get back out in the cold without a destination, I stared down at my phone. I was supposed to spend the day in bed in Travis’ spare room, eating and writing, until it was time for his friends’ party.
Travis. Why did he have to check the security camera when he did? Tearing off a piece of the freshly baked goodness, I savored the bite as I tried to recall the exact resolution of the footage. Our faces weren’t clear, so how did Travis know who Nathan was?
And if he knew, did that mean that everyone else would if they saw the footage?
Terrified, I suddenly remembered the way he had praised my appearance before I left the other day.
“Lookin’ good, Jones.”
If he had feelings for me, would he go as far as to follow me downstairs and look at who I was with? Would he follow me to where we had our date?
Oh my gosh.
“How about that coffee?” the barista hollered.
I looked up and saw a couple of people walking it. “Yes, please! I’ll have a mocha.”
“Good choice.”
Forcing a smile, I nodded and looked back down, swiping across my phone to do nothing in particular. Was Travis dangerous or was he simply a classic old romantic? He’d never revealed that side of his personality before, so I was beyond perplexed.
And then my eyes caught another news headline about Nathan on my phone, and my confusion doubled.