20. Breaking the Walls
twenty
Sophie Jones, standing in the middle of my office, was certainly an interesting sight. “How could I conceivably afford the apartment you’re offering me?” Her arguments, however, were wearing me down.
“I told you—for the millionth time—you’re going to be on the headcount.”
“On a freshly hired employee’s salary, it doesn’t add up,” she protested.
“You’re not gonna be just an employee, Jones. I’m offering you a manager’s position.”
Putting her hands on her waist, she tilted her head. “You give all your managers furnished apartments in New York?”
Sitting back behind my desk, I fiddled with the stylus in my hand and shrugged. “When they’re from out-of-town, yes.”
Still in doubt, she narrowed her eyes. “And the company pays that rent.”
“No. The company owns that apartment building. It’s one of our assets.”
Her eyebrows shot up in disbelief as she slowly shook her head. “Just how rich are you?”
“What did you tell Alexander?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“You’re changing the subject.” I leaned forward. “Our meeting today was to agree on the next steps, none of which can be taken without Alexander Nichols’ knowledge.”
Slouching her shoulders, she flopped down in the chair across the desk, staring aimlessly ahead. “I told him that I’ll help remotely and that he won’t need to hire a new writer.”
“And how can you accomplish that when you’ll be working full-time here?”
“Nathan, I can’t just abandon Creators’ Rights!”
“Are you listening to yourself? The Wright Law Firm is becoming their main sponsor. Do you understand how much money that entails every year? They can afford to hire three writers if they want!”
“Well, I wouldn’t do that to them. At least, it has to be gradual until they find someone Alex can depend on the way he depended on me.”
“How did he take it?”
“He said he saw it coming, but I don’t believe him.”
I chuckled and said nothing for a minute. “You know you’re not giving him enough credit. He’s a pretty insightful man.”
“He thinks I’m moving because of us.”
“You’re not?”
“Only partially!” Acting amused, I flashed her one of my smug smiles as I leaned back, placing one leg over the other as I watched her talk. “Did any other law firm open a brand new division for me to run and help more? I don’t think so—” She then suddenly frowned and picked up a pad of sticky notes, tossing it at me. “Don’t look at me like that!”
I grabbed it mid-air before it ruined my hair, teasing, “Are you sure you’re half French?”
“Whatever.” She looked at her phone. “When’s your next meeting?”
“When this one’s done.”
“Seriously, though.”
“Seriously, you didn’t answer my question. Are you taking the apartment or not?”
“Fine. I’ll take it.”
“Fantastic.” I stood up, walking toward the bar in the corner. “Reason to celebrate.”
I heard her snort and click her tongue in the background. “This cabinet alone can cater to an entire bar in my neighborhood.”
“Better get used to it. What do you feel like?”
“Brandy.”
I poured her a glass and handed it to her. “So, to recap… your division is like our CSR arm. We’re making it official. The pro bono clients we accept there are strictly artists in need of guidance against contract exploitation. Our contracting department will support you until we hire someone who’s dedicated.”
“What about humanitarian cases?”
“Those are mine alone; you don’t need to worry about them.” When she didn’t say anything, I looked up and saw her quietly examining my face. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“You never told me, by the way… whatever happened to Travis?”
“He—Uh…” Lowering her gaze, she slightly nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think we’ll ever speak again. It’s for the best.”
“Were you close?”
“Clearly, not as close as I thought.”
“Hm.” I nodded and quickly decided that it was the wrong question to ask. “So, are you excited?”
“Um, overwhelmed. I’ve been in Cold Spring for what feels like forever and now...” She shrugged. “New apartment, new job…”
“New relationship?”
“Barf,” she giggled for a second, but I didn’t join her in laughter. She soon stopped, regaining her serious expression. “What about you?”
I spread out both palms in the air. “What about me?”
“We… rarely talk about our feelings.”
“That’s because the last time you asked a real question, you took it back immediately and insisted that I didn’t respond.” I paused, studying the slight change in her expression. “I’m respecting boundaries you placed—not me.”
“I’m trying to change that, Nathan. I know it’s a weakness, not a strength.”
“Every quality is a strength if used right.”
“You mean you prefer not discussing emotions? Why am I not surprised?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Standing up, I made my way around the desk and leaned down, reaching out with my hand to touch her chin as she lifted it up to look at me. “I want you to do whatever you want to do, because you want it… not because you think it’s what should be done.”
“I’ve just been confused,” she admitted, shaking her head away from my reach. “I think… this whole thing with Travis could’ve been avoided if everyone was clear about what they were experiencing. But instead, we… we…”
“Run away from our feelings and let the world outside tell us how we should behave?”
She smiled. “Close enough.”
Sighing, I got up and picked up my drink before walking toward the window. “So, did you find your answer?”
“My answer?”
“To the question you killed as soon as it breathed the air.”
“Oh.” She paused while I watched the city underneath throb with the unstoppable life of blossoming springtime. “I think I did.”
Her answer sparked my curiosity, but I didn’t want to seem too eager to know more. Spinning on my heel, I deliberately made it slow, unhurried. “Care to share?”
“Here’s what I came up with,” she started. “You know when you start to care about where their life is going, even if that’s away from you.”
“Selfless. Sounds on-brand,” I joked.
“And when you start seeing their flaws as the things that make them unique… like quirks. Instead of being repulsed by them, you find them endearing.”
“Opportunism… materialism… were those on the list?”
She gave me a knowing smile. “I never accused you of those things.”
“Oh, we’re talking about me now?” Raising an eyebrow, I kept my eyes linked with hers.
Her smile became lazy. “Do you want to hear the rest of it or not?”
“Can’t wait,” I confessed, and meant it.
“Well.” She stood up, walking toward the sofa lounge corner. “You want everything good to happen to them, and nothing bad… ever. You know you enjoy their company, even when you have nothing to say to each other. When you’re mad at them, you can’t get your mind to even think about hurting them… not even slightly.”
“A bit unrealistic. Words can kill, you know.”
She turned around to face me. “And they would kill me before they ever touch you.”
There we were again, talking about me. I loved the blush that took over her cheeks. The way she lowered her gaze like a coy little woman, staring at the rug on the floor. Leaving my glass on the desk, I walked over to her and grabbed the one in her hand, taking it away as well and setting it aside.
“Look at me,” I whispered, and she did. Shifting, she leisurely moved so that her weight rested against my chest and kissed my chin.
As her lips made their way up to mine, I let out a low grunt while my hand slid down to the small of her back. Feeling the heat take over with a cloud around my mind, I felt the tips of my fingers digging tighter. But we couldn’t conclude every conversation like this. “I do have a meeting,” I murmured into her lips.
“How about a quickie?” she whispered before she pushed herself up, kissing my eyelids.
“Hmm.” Fidgeting in my stance, I felt my body react to her touch. She then began to follow an invisible trail with her lips moving downward, leaving sweet kisses down the middle of my chest, just between the buttons of my shirt. No, no, no, Nathan. Get a grip. Have the talk. Tell her how you feel. “Stop!” I blurted out.
She straightened up, and I opened my eyes to see her lips ask, “Why?”
“Because we can’t go on running from every tough situation by taking off our clothes.”
It seemed like my words hit hard, because she stared at me with wide eyes and trembling lips. I waited for her to cuss at me, call me names and storm out, slamming the door behind her.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she went over to the sofa and slowly sat down, crossing her legs while her eyes remained on mine, challenging. “You want to talk, so talk.” She made it sound like an order.
“How do you feel about me?”
“Are you seeking validation now?”
“Would you like me to start?” A smirk pulled up the corner of my lips. “Would that make you feel like this is a safe zone?”
“I’m not scared.”
“You’re insecure about something, and I can’t figure out what it is.”
“You’re way off.”
I slowly shook my head. “What can I do? I’m blinded by my feelings.”
Licking her lips, she raised an eyebrow while her eyes examined me from the shoes up. “What feelings?”
“I refuse to dance around this any longer, Sophie.”
She shot up, leaning forward while her hands clenched into fists. “Then say it!”
“I want to be with you, okay?” As soon as the words left my mouth, it was as though a massive weight had been lifted off my chest. I knew it was stupid to claim such a thing after a short time, but this was Sophie, and she had bravely owned several stupid things since I’d met her. It was time I adopted the same courage. “I feel… like I’m falling for you. And I know it’s soon. And I know it’s stupid. And I’m aware of all our differences and I… I don’t care about them.” I shrugged. “They don’t bother me at all—”
She stood in front of me, eyes welling up, lips pressed together. Her gaze was begging me to draw the words out of her, but I didn’t know how. The only thing I wanted to do was to take her in my arms, so I did. I pulled her in and encircled her with my arms as tightly as I could, feeling her small body merge with mine.
How long did we stay like this? It didn’t matter. Because when I finally heard her whisper, it was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.
“I want you, Nathan. I want to be with you.”
She smelled of amber and white floral... again. I didn’t want to think, but I had to. If I could choose, I only truly wanted to feel her with me, on me, and all around me. Picking her up in my arms with ease, I felt her lips pressed against mine, hands around my neck, erasing all traces of doubt.
“I want you,” she repeated.
My words echoed into her mouth, “I want you, Sophie.”
“I’m yours,” she feverishly murmured.
Drunk on the sound of her soft little whimpers, I tried to remember what my next meeting was about or who it was with.
She wanted me, and I wanted her.
A low growl escaped my lips as they found hers once more, tasting the very essence of her in the back of my mouth. My skin blazed underneath her fingertips and I knew we needed to stop. I was never caught in my office and I wasn’t supposed to start now.
The phone started to ring, and while Sophie remained in my arms, I pulled my lips away and whispered, “You’re making me lose my mind, Jones.”
There was nothing sweeter than that laugh dancing in her eyes.