Chapter 13 #2
“I will never be done with her.” I spat, stepping towards him, my ears ringing with a foggy smoke of fury as we came eye to eye.
I’d inherited my build from him, but unlike his gluttonous lifestyle, I kept a strict routine allowing for notable physical differences.
He lifted his chin, a feeble attempt to gain some kind of advantage and it took everything I had not to scoff.
I’d seen many people cower under his glare and while I’d never outright challenged him before that was because he’d never given me enough of a reason.
My childhood was spent deflecting the insults and ignoring the heartache of his absence, resulting in such a strong shield that his bullshit barely penetrated.
However, it was apparent to both of us right now, that the woman inside wearing my ring was going to be my line in the sand.
And a slight against her was a direct hit on me.
“Evangeline will become my wife, so tread carefully.” The threat in my words was clear and the sharp inhale and widening of my father’s eyes told me he heard it loud and clear.
“Oh, boys, don’t be-”
“I hope you guys like sweets,” Evangeline called, seemingly unaware of the animosity in the air as she interrupted Mum trying to diffuse the tension and reappeared with a tray holding drinks and some of her signature treats.
“These are lemon and coconut,” she said pointing to a selection of slices, “And these are mint,” her xenial calm wasted on my undeserving parents.
“You made these?” Dad asked insincerely and my fingers twitched with an angry adrenaline.
My focus narrowed in on his deceptive pomposity, making it hard to think clearly. I watched with a silent intensity as my father reached for a slice, encouraging my mother to try one as if they weren’t just talking shit about her.
I wanted to smack the fucking slices from their hands and tell them to get out of my house, only Eva stole my focus, moving in front of me and pressing her back against my chest. Her scent wrapped around me and buried itself deep in the recesses of my long-term memory.
A place for things like the way she smiled through foggy tears when that little fucker called her four-eyes; the way she giggled when I ripped a lolly from her hand and took a bite of my own before returning whatever was left; or the way she looked in that goddamn bikini, the first time I really noticed her all those years ago.
It was a special shelf reserved only for her, and it would always belong to her – even if she never knew.
Seizing the moment, I slipped an arm around her waist and drew her into me.
Using her as my own personal comforter was selfish, against all of the unwritten rules considering her actions weren’t for show, but because she’d known.
And with our bodies in perfect alignment, she absorbed and then expelled the negative energy I’d been feeling.
My mother was rambling on about some cake one of their cooks had made as if it would hold a flame to anything my fiancée baked.
Playing her role like a pro, Eva agreed with such convincing eagerness that even I was starting to buy it.
Slipping her hand over mine, I interlaced our fingers across her abdomen as if it was the most natural movement in the world.
When I reminded myself to breathe, hints of lemon scented shampoo curled around my senses - heady and intoxicating.
I found myself latching on, desperate for every damn second with her in my arms. But when she shook with a laugh performed for the benefit of my insufferable parents, it was my body who responded.
A very specific part of my body.
Fuck.
The curl of her fingers around mine tightened ever so slightly and I knew she felt it too. Knew that any physical comfort she’d been providing was now tainted by my insistent cock. Unable to be ignored as it pressed against the zipper of my pants, desperately painful. Desperate for her.
“Mint is my favourite flavour,” she answered, and for a moment, I wondered if I imagined the huskier edge to her voice. Imagined the subtle tilt of her hips or the slight arch to her back.
“What about you? What’s your favourite flavour?
” She asked, her gaze flicking to mine. I squinted at her, unsure how to respond as she levelled me with a hard stare until a grin tugging one corner of my mouth said more than it should.
The timing couldn’t have been worse, and yet unmistakable heat bloomed in the air around us.
“You, apparently,” I mumbled, before surprising us both when I leant down and pressed a kiss to her lips.
The chaste kiss was innocent in theory, like a thought I followed before it fully formed, but with us it landed with the weight of so much more.
I hadn’t meant to do it, not really, but being near her did things I couldn’t explain.
Recalibrated my thoughts until she was the focus of my orbit.
Her eyes widened almost as if the move shocked her into a nervous giggle, while my heart was hammering, and my lips were still tingling with the ghost of contact.
My gaze searched hers, unsure if I’d crossed a line or lit a fuse and her blush bloomed fast and bright. An electric tension hanging between us like a held breath.
I wanted to undo the quiet misstep, to apologise for the rule I’d broken but it was then I remembered my parents, both captive, looking between us and assessing.
And now it was my turn to panic. Had I already given them every reason to believe this was total bullshit? I’d never had a partner around them, but surely a quick kiss wasn’t worthy of a ten second pause where I tried to gauge where she was at.
“Knew it,” Eva said with an easy grin, before apologising to our audience and pivoting the conversation to my father’s most recent sales.
Unlike me, she didn’t seem caught up in figuring out where the performance ended, and the truth of my feelings began.
Although, the bigger surprise wasn’t her reaction - it was how quickly she’d disarmed my rage without even trying.
Effortlessly.
Usually, I would be heightened for days, unable to shake the ever-present frustration of a sly comment until I caved and headed to the ring, misplacing my aggression on whoever signed up that night. Yet, through her presence alone, she’d pulled it from me like water from a sponge.
It was that silent comfort that gave me the patience to listen to my father telling us about his latest contracts for the rest of the hour, even with my mum subtly mentioning Samantha whenever she could.
I didn’t have much to contribute, nor did I let Evy move from my grasp, because what if this was it?
What if this was one of the only times I could touch her as if she was mine.
One of a few times I would feel the tenderness of her hand in mine and the soft caress of her fingers against my skin.
I breathed her in as if I was stockpiling air, knowing the moment she slipped from my arms, the emptiness would settle deep.
And we remained that way until they finally left with more false platitudes and promises to visit soon.
“Well, that was as comfortable as swallowing a pine cone,” she said, as the tail lights disappeared from view.
“You were in your element,” I teased. “At one point I thought you were actually going to buy one of his properties.”
“To be honest, I was nodding and smiling but I was really just thinking about what I was going to eat tonight.”
“And what did you decide?”
“I’d like to say pasta but it depends on what the others have because I might get fomo if they get the steak.” I must have looked confused as she elaborated.
“Oh, I’m heading out with Marlee and the girls tonight - if that’s okay?” The disappointment curled in my stomach as if I had any right to keep her glued to my side and I mustn’t have hidden it very well as she kept going.
“I actually can’t be bothered, but they won’t take no for an answer. Unless you need me here?”
“Ev,” I started, trying to keep it tight with a simple ‘you do you’ kind of answer. “You don’t have to check in with me. Our deal’s strictly on the clock, remember?”
A flicker of suspicion tightened her expression. “Right.” With one brow arched, she stepped around me and it was only then I noticed we were still holding hands. I didn’t want to let go and for a second, I contemplated asking her to stay, only I had no reason. No right.
A slow knowing smile tugged at her lips, wordlessly asking if I planned to release her anytime soon and I fought my banal urges.
Urges to slide my fingers in her hair, to run my tongue along her lips and beg for entry.
After earlier I wanted more. Needed more.
I wondered what her reaction would be if I trailed a finger up her stomach.
If her body would be receptive and responsive to my touch.
“You took your chance while you had it, didn’t you?” She asked, her brow raised mockingly, and I shrugged, unclasping our hands.
“Had to convince them we were engaged.” I lied, with a forced smirk.
She waved her finger, looking at the ring admiringly. “I’m sure this did the trick. It’s stunning.”
“It is.” I agreed. “Pretty sure the pain of not asking me about it likely gave Ma a hernia.”
“I noticed that too,” she grinned. “But to be fair, I understand. I can’t stop looking at it either. Where the hell did this even come from?” Her eyes were still downcast, giving me a moment to formulate a response without the added scrutiny of her all-knowing gaze.
I didn’t want to lie to her, but the truth was going to lead to far too many questions I didn’t have answers for.
“Oh, I just grabbed it from a store in the city the other day,” I said simply, deciding a half-true was best before opening the front door and gesturing for her to enter first.
“Well, thank you then,” she gleamed. “I’m going to thoroughly enjoy wearing this for the next few months.
And the girls are going to lose their minds tonight.
” I wasn’t proud of the feeling, but the thought of people other than my parents thinking of us as a couple settled something within me. Very fucking much actually.
And it was enough to remind me that most of my blood was still inconveniently pooled below my waist. My body still aching with memories of the weight of her pressed against me.
Something which once upon a time hadn’t been a big deal.
Something which was natural. Until the day she ran from my life, tears streaking her face, no explanation, no goodbye.
Recollections of the way she looked at me like she was broken flashed forward as I did my best to suppress the emptiness which accompanied her absence from my world.
It was another two years before I spoke to her again after that and since, it was sporadic and lacked substance.
She would hurry out as Seb and I arrived, or she’d get home while I was there but unable to say more than a hello because ‘studying couldn’t wait’ or she was ‘on a super important call’.
Anything to avoid spending more than a few minutes with me and I’d lived unsure what caused that fracture.
“It suits you,” I said, forcing as much casual ease into my voice as I could manage. “And thanks for today. You gave them more than they deserve.”
“All part of the job.” She shrugged as if she didn’t have a care in the world. As if she had no idea that my hand strategically placed in my pocket was there to disguise the world’s largest boner because of how damn sexy she looked wearing that fucking ring.
“I better get ready,” the comment drifted out behind her as she strolled to her room without so much as a hint of discomfort.
My emotional range wasn’t expansive. Most days I handled things with a steady grin and an aura of remedial calm. Though every so often, usually after a visit with my folks, something darker crept in and those moments of simmering, bone-deep rage came in short, sharp, potent bursts.
But now, my little housemate was stirring up something else entirely. A mess of new and old feelings I wasn’t used to navigating.
And the first one was confusion.
Confusion over feelings I couldn’t yet label.
I paced the open path of my living room, miles away mentally and knowing I was going to need to get out tonight or I would go insane wondering what she was telling everyone.
If she really liked the ring and was excited to show the girls.
Or if playing pretend was a burden she couldn’t be bothered to entertain.
So consumed with the fog of uncertainty, I didn’t realise how long I’d been spiralling until Evangeline returned all dressed up and ready for dinner.
She’d done her hair in an up style, a few loose curls hanging either side of her face, the square framed black glasses she wore highlighting the molten lava of her eyes.
I couldn’t fathom how it had taken me this long to really see her.
But now? I couldn’t look away and I clenched my jaw to stop myself from begging her to stay.
“Are you okay?” She asked, confusion in her gaze as she approached cautiously.
I didn’t reply. Couldn’t even muster a response, because I knew what I was about to do and if I spoke or thought of consequences or barriers, I was going to think about all the reasons why I shouldn’t.
Stepping forward, I crowded her with my body, ignoring the way my heartbeat thrummed in my ears and my conscious screamed at me to retreat.
My willpower, strong as an ox for all these years, was pulled as tight as it could go and I knew it was about to snap.