Chapter 34 #2
“I’m with Seb, can I call you back?” I shot Sebastian a look, and he gave the faintest shake of his head. He knew the game I was playing - keep the tone polite, the answers short, and survive the call. After all, she was my mother.
“Oh, ask Seb if he is coming to the charity ball? It’s less than a month away.”
“I know.” She’d sent me plenty of emails with subtle reminders about the damn annual gala, I couldn’t forget if I tried. “Seb and Marlee will be there.” I said, grinning at my mate who shot me a look which told me this was news to him.
Heck, I needed moral support and I knew my fiancée would too.
“Oh, honey, that’s great. What about those footballers?
Can we get some of them to be there? We are looking to raise a lot of money this year.
It’s a great cause.” She moved into a spiel about the three charities they’d selected to donate the funds to this year, again stuff I already knew from the emails.
What she didn’t explicitly state was how she only threw these balls because of the prestige it afforded her and the publicity it brought for Dad’s company.
My parents were never winning any awards for altruism, no matter what bullshit they tried to spruik.
“I think one or two of them, not sure.” Seb pointed to the coffee machine and I nodded. One thing I could always count on when I came over was a damn good coffee.
“Oh, that’s great. Tell them to come with full wallets,” she laughed, and I pulled the phone back from my ear, the wine induced trill not conducive to my ears on so little sleep.
“I gotta go, Mum,” I said, tired of the conversation.
“Okay, darling, don’t forget dinner next Thursday for your father’s birthday.
I’ve booked that restaurant he loves in town.
” I swallowed my sigh. I’d intentionally ignored that email as soon as I saw the subject line.
I despised having dinner with them and their friends, spending most of the time defending my vocational decisions and the rest wishing it was over.
“Yep, we’ll be there.” I said, with an eyeroll at Seb.
“Oh.” Mum’s faux shock was as transparent as the cheap wine she pretended not to like.
The little pause and audible intake of breath - she knew exactly what she was doing.
Always had. And that was the thing about her.
She was as predictable as the day is long, playing innocent like it was a game she invented.
But underneath it all, she was as calculating as ever.
The same cold-hearted, money hungry woman.
“You’re bringing a date?”
“Not a date,” I corrected, “Evangeline. My fiancée.” Seb’s gaze darted to mine, his grip on the milk jug tightening.
“Oh, of course.” There was that shrill, artificial laugh again. “I can’t believe I forgot.”
“Must be the wine.” I said, with no humour. “We’ll see you then.” I hung up before she could say anything else to dampen my mood.
I closed my eyes and took a slow breath, trying to steady myself.
Work through the fury - don’t let it swallow you.
My fingers tapped incessantly, my knee shaking, a bodily percussion of frustration.
“You good?” Seb's voice came through the fog and I didn’t answer right away. Instead, I focused on what grounded me - an image of dark, curly hair and warm brown eyes. The smell of mint tea and morning dew after rain. Eventually, I nodded.
“Would it upset your parents if I wore a see-through dress to the charity ball?” Marlee asked, having come to stand by Sebastian while I was navigating bullshit in my head.
“It would upset your boyfriend,” Seb growled and despite myself I cracked a grin.
“Tell me what will piss them off the most and I’ll do it.” She added, lifting the last of the fog. Being around people I cared about helped, more than I noticed before.
“Not a bad idea,” Seb agreed, only half-joking.
“Or we could not go,” I grumbled and Marlee shook her head.
“I’ve already arranged with Arns and Ev to go shopping tomorrow - if Evangeline’s boss doesn’t mind if she’s late.” Marls grinned, leaning into Seb’s open arms.
“How have you already organised that? My mum only just mentioned it.”
“Don’t try to understand,” Seb admonished and I heeded his advice.
Marlee’s phone chimed at the same time mine did and I shot her a smirk before checking the notification.
EVA
Hey, would it be okay if I was a little late tomorrow morning? The girls want to go shopping for the charity ball and I need something to wear.
“That’s my sister isn’t it?” Seb asked.
“How’d you guess?” I said playfully.
“Because you’re staring at your phone like a smitten kitten,” Marlee cooed, draining the colour from my face and eliciting a frown on Seb’s.
“Oh for God’s sake.” She admonished us both single-handedly.
“Get over it.” She reprimanded her still scowling boyfriend.
“And you” – she pointed at me accusingly–“should decide what it is you really want, because your whole fake engagement comes to an end soon.” She was already walking away as her final words came slicing through the air.
“You can lie to everyone else all you want, Coop, but don’t lie to yourself. ”
My eyes shot to Seb’s, part - ‘can you believe her?’ - part searching. I was trying to gauge his reaction but he gave me nothing. His face unreadable, that wall I hated not being able to see through, erected, before he turned back to the coffee machine.
Replying to Evs and telling her to take however long she needed, I thought about how I still couldn’t quite believe I was going to have someone there with me for this party.
She could have whatever she damn wanted because the odds were stacked in my favour now.
I was not only gaining the support of someone I trusted, but I would be the luckiest bastard there walking in with her on my arm.
When I finished, Seb was staring at me intently, my coffee waiting and I nodded my gratitude.
“I will probably fucking regret this, but do you want to talk about it?” He asked, and the uncomfortable nature of his features was enough to crack the tension. My laugh escaped before I even realised it was coming.
Because strangely, I fucking did want to talk about it and while it was weird as fuck, he was the only person I would want to have this conversation with.
And so, it was with a deep exhale that I unloaded every thought I hadn’t voiced.
Every emotion I couldn’t name. Every what if, why and what the fuck, and to his credit, he listened.
Listened as if it was a completely normal thing for me to pace the floor of his kitchen and unload thirty four years of trauma.
As if he didn’t have a vested interest in the parts where I unloaded the confusion, uncertainty and sheer fucking terror around feelings I couldn’t even name for his sister.
At some point, Marlee returned, a silent observer, and I still didn’t stop.
I was a volcanic eruption after years of lying dormant - sudden and impossible to contain.
A dam cracked open after holding back too much for too long.
A storm finally breaking after days of heavy pressure in the air.
And by the time I finished, the skies had darkened and I was exhausted.
“Jesus fucking Christ, I need a drink after that.” Seb said, and my lips twitched.
He didn’t say a word as he cracked the tops off two beers, the sharp hiss and click filling the silence between us.
He passed one to me, then lifted his own.
Just before the bottles touched, in that unspoken moment of ‘I've got you’, he finally said, “You don’t need me to tell you what to do. You already know. And you’ve got us behind you. ”
If I were the kind of person who cried easily, I’d have been in pieces. Because he was actually giving me his blessing and trust to navigate whatever this was with Evangeline. So, I put my beer down, came around the bench, and pulled him in for a solid hug.
“Love you, brother,” I said.
“Don’t fuck it up,” he replied, his grip tightening ever so slightly. “Because we will still hide your body,” he added, with a smirk.
“I’d expect nothing less.” I said truthfully, knowing and respecting their loyalty to each other more than he would ever know.
We finished the rest of our beer in silence, and across the room, Marlee watched us - looking like the cat who got the canary - while I thought about my next steps.