Chapter 26 #3
His throat tightens on a harsh swallow, the thick vein in his neck pulsing beneath his skin.
When his eyes find mine again, they’re almost black, burning with rage and confusion and sadness.
A part of me wants to wrap my arms around him, but this is painful for me too, and that hurt is all wrapped up in the way he treated me.
The way he looked at me like I was nothing.
The things he said. As much as I want to comfort him, self-preservation stops me.
“So it was someone who had access to our house?”
I nod. “Someone close to you. Someone who wanted you to believe that Tommy and I were betraying you, when the truth is we both would have died for you.”
His jaw works back and forth over and over as he wrestles with what I’ve just told him. “Why didn’t you tell me, Rayne?” There’s no accusation in his tone, just anguish.
“I tried. But you were so blinded by rage you wouldn’t listen, and then it was too late…” I wipe away a tear, thinking of Tommy and how utterly heartbreaking it was that not only did he die because of someone else’s lies, but at the hands of the man he loved like a brother.
“What do you mean it was too late?”
Memories of that day are always painful, and I usually bury them so deep they never surface.
But they are far too easy to access, too raw and real.
“After you and your brothers left with Tommy, I was frantic. I waited for you to come back, needing to tell you the truth before you killed him, and it killed me. I was still so shaken by what had happened and terrified of what you might do, and then you came back…” I force down the sadness and guilt all balled up in my throat.
“I heard you tell your father Tommy was gone. And I was too late. You killed him because of a lie, Enzo.”
He blinks. “So why not tell me the truth then?”
I shake my head, trying to shake the memories filled with regret and sadness.
“Because it was too late. You came back still so full of rage and anger, and then you accused me of betraying you. Again. I didn’t even know if you’d have believed me if I told you the truth.
And while powerful men like you could never comprehend feeling helpless, that’s exactly how I felt.
Why is it that the default position for women who’ve been raped seems to be to find a way to blame her for it?
” I swallow down my anger. “And by then, it really didn’t matter, because we were already broken.
You might not have hated me every time you looked at me, but you would have hated yourself.
I knew that every single time you saw my face, all you would see was Tommy, and how you killed him for a lie. I couldn’t do that to you.”
His face screws up in pain. “So instead, you let me believe that you and he…” He trails off. “You let me believe you betrayed me. I could have fucking killed you, Rayne.”
I shrug. “I didn’t care. I was already dead inside.
After what Ethan did, and then…” I suck in a shaky breath.
“You were the one person I should have been able to count on. The only person in the world I wanted to be anywhere near. I needed you, Enzo, and you weren’t there.
You hurt me in the cruelest possible way.
You immediately believed the worst of me.
That I was a lying, cheating whore, just like you’ve said so many times since…
So, yeah, I really didn’t care whether I lived or died. ”
He looks like a man who has just lost everything. Totally broken. I know how that feels.
I roll back my shoulders, refusing to let one afternoon of my life define me. “Like I said. There’s no point in dwelling on all of this now. It’s in the past, and I really don’t want to relive it ever again.”
That seems to snap him from his state of anguish. Or perhaps it’s his own self-preservation that kicks in. He shakes his head, like he’s trying to clear it. “Someone set us all up. But why?”
“I wish I knew why.”
He screws his eyes closed again and I can practically see the questions tumbling over themselves in his head.
I understand his confusion, having tried to figure out what happened myself over the years.
Someone obviously wanted Tommy dead, possibly me too.
Or at least out of the picture. And they wanted Enzo’s undying loyalty.
Without me or Tommy in is life, there was nobody else for him to be loyal to—nobody except for his father and Carmine, a man he continues to remain loyal to.
He opens his eyes again, and I know it’s coming—the question I don’t want to answer. “You wish you knew why, but you do know who, don’t you?”
“I don’t think he set us up, no.” I can’t believe that any of Enzo’s brothers would do that Not because they wouldn’t do that to me, but they would never hurt him that way. “But he was involved somehow.”
“Who, Rayne? Who sent you the message telling you that Ethan had information for me?”
I consider not opening this can of worms, but he already knows I would never have believed a stranger. “You won’t believe me.”
He takes a breath, his dark eyes holding mine. “I will believe you, I swear. Who was it, Rayne?”
“Rafael.”