Chapter 55 #2
Hector thinks it’s an invitation. He sits next to me on the outskirts, where the grass is alive. To make life more intolerable, the skies are clear, giving me a view of the last remaining pieces of Caldara’s mountains to the far north of us.
Hector rests his tattooed arm on his knee. His runes look the same, but deep within his flesh, their power feeds him. A glance over my shoulder reveals Cyrus, Ryker, Nero, Ember, Tristen, and Adrian.
“Don’t tell me Everett had another gift delivered.” I shake my wrist, looking at my new bracelet. The rune that wards off Shades is carved into it.
We sent out letters all over the land showing in detail how to draw this rune so it can be activated.
We warned kings, queens, and towns ruled by no crown.
We told them of the Shades and Phantoms, of the enemy that has united us all; we told them of our power of runes, of the new kingdom we are forming, one that does not care for crowns and glory.
We told them we will protect anyone who needs us and those who think they don’t.
We are the most powerful, feared, and even loved people in our world.
But I’m still a shell. My mind is so dark, I don’t think anyone can see me. It’s best they don’t.
Hector snorts; his smirk is distant. “No. I think we’re on our own.”
“What do you want?” I rasp.
He reaches down and grabs a piece of grass. “I don’t know. I… I… I just. I loved her.”
“Love kills,” I bite.
He closes his eyes and hangs his head. “I need you to care,” he whispers. “I need people not to think Sable was a monster.”
“She was.”
His neck turns sharply towards the mountains where he killed Sable. “I was never going to allow it to get to a point where she killed you or Selene.”
“Shut up.” My fire sizzles the grass under me. Hector shifts an inch.
“Everett never told me Selene would die. He told me if I picked the right path, Sable would.”
My fire erupts, covering Hector. I lose control. In a panic, I pull my fire back, lunging to help him, but… he holds up his forearm. “Protection runes. This one repels vampire magic.”
I shove him back.
“I’m not telling you this to piss you off. I just need you to know if I knew this was how the new world began, I’d—”
“It doesn’t matter.” I stand and dig my fingernails into my palms. “What’s done is done.” I look down my nose at him. “Where is your sister?” I bark. It’s time to tell the past to fuck off. I have made my decision.
“Why?”
“I need her to open a portal for me.”
His throat rolls. “You’re leaving us.”
I look at Blackthorn, a castle I vowed to burn. “No. I can’t outrun my mistakes. I have to bear the burden of them disfiguring my memory. I want to say goodbye.”
“To Selene,” he clarifies.
“No. To my old life.”
Salt fills my nose, and it stings my face as I approach the crashing waves that invade the shore. Sofia did as I asked; she portaled me to a beach, one near her kingdom.
It’s barren, hot, and arid except for a small grove of date palms. The heat is so intense it stirs the air, forcing me to kick off my boots and enter the water. I asked to come alone. But I’m learning that being a ruler is more like being a baby; no one leaves you be.
Tristen lurks down the shore, ready to swim in after me in case I decide to never come back up for air.
“I’m the ocean,” I curl my toes into the cool sand.
A wave splashes against my knees. “And you…” I tip my chin up.
The sun burns my forehead. The ocean mist invades my nose.
“You, my mate, were a storm. You battered me, wrecked me… cleansed me. I’m new.
I’m different. You wanted to save me. You did, but I’m dead inside. ”
My knees shake as I give in and sit in the shallow waters. My armor grows heavier as sand digs in between it. I thrust my hands into the water, pulling up shells.
A bitter smile tugs at my lips. I hold a calico shell between my fingers.
“Not all shells can be filled.” I turn it around; it’s no bigger than a spoon.
Not meant to be a home. That was never my fate.
I was never meant to love a single person.
A ruler has to sacrifice themselves, because everyone wants a piece of them.
I palm the shell, close my fist, and squeeze. Eventually, it cracks. I shake it free, then realize all this sand is broken shells. Vessels shattered by storms that have ravaged them. Slowly chipped them down into grains small enough, smooth enough for others to walk on.
That’s what I’m meant to be—a surface, a bridge that’s smooth, secure, and safe for those who can’t defend themselves.
“I can’t forgive you.” A wave crashes into me.
I lick the saltwater off my lips.
“But…” I nod and slowly stand. “I can move on. I’ll tell you the true reason why I’m agreeing to do this, Selene. If I give up, hide away, and let grief consume me, I’ll die, and that means I’ll see you again.”
I refuse to let my tears join the water.
“And I don’t want to see you, Selene. I want to forget you.
So I’m going to move on, live, and fight for the world your brother wanted.
I’m going to let Tristen change me into what he is.
I’m going to be practically immortal, stuck here, where you can’t hurt me anymore.
I’m going to live an undying life so I never have to see you in the afterlife,” My roar causes the waves rushing towards me to flee back to the depths.
“The only way I’ll be forced to, is if I fail and one of those rare swords plunges into my heart.” I turn coldly. Wave after wave slams into my back. Each of my steps is painful and creaky. I’m an animal forced to change worlds. Swimming is over, and I must now learn to walk and conquer new lands.
“I’m not going to fail.”
Immortality might seem like a blessing, but it comes with a curse—a slowly degrading sickness that erases memories. That’s exactly what I seek.
I walk to Tristen; his eyes hold a forest of worry I refuse to acknowledge. My lips part as I smile, knowing freedom from Selene’s memory is on the horizon. “I’m ready.”