6. Ozzie
6
OZZIE
“Yes… yes… FUCKING YES!”
I roar as my hips buck and I hit a peak. The pressure explodes from within, sending a rush of pulsating warmth through my dick. I grope Cass’s thighs and slam into her several more times, pinning her between my body and the side of the trailer.
She rakes her coffin-shaped nails down my tattooed arms and screams with me, her pale face flushed and eyes screwed shut.
My erratic thrusts finally slow up as I plant myself deep and nut inside her pussy.
The high is unfuckingbelievable. Unlike anything I’ve felt before.
Intense wave after intense wave crashes over me. It pulsates from my dick, up my spine, spreading everywhere ’til it’s like the chemicals have taken over. I’m blitzed out of my mind on dopamine and oxytocin and all the other shit.
I can’t see straight for seconds to come.
Everything’s fuzzy, distorted.
Even the night sky looks like it’s shifting above our heads. Some rotating belt of dark velvet and gleaming stars that disappear and reappear. Blips of bright red lights blinking in and out. Probably satellites watching our every move.
Cass drops her legs from my waist and aims a satisfied smile at me. She straightens her skirt but leaves her discarded panties in the dirt. “Oz… that was… amazing.”
I zip up my Dickies pants and wipe sweat from my brow. I’m slicked in it, shining from all the exertion I’ve put in fucking her.
Running around the ravine like a lunatic.
But it’s all pent-up energy that’s begging to break free. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Stay indoors and knit some scarves?
“Give me a few minutes and we can go again.” I wink at her and pick up the can of Texas Brew I put on the seat of my bike when I led her back here.
We’re outside my trailer, not far off from the ravine where the club’s throwing a bonfire party for the night.
Silver had serious business to discuss with the club and figured we might as well do what we do best—throw a huge fucking party where everybody gets fucked up once official business is handled.
It comes to me out of nowhere. After minutes of wandering off on my side quest with Cass.
I’m supposed to be part of the meeting.
“Fuck,” I swear. “I’m missing the meeting!”
Cass furrows her brows as if she’s confused, but she has no chance to ask about it. I grab her by the wrist and drag her along with me, beer can in my other hand. We break out into a light jog across the grass and head toward the chain-link fence that divides the trailer park from the ravine.
There’s a known break in the fence that I peel back so we can slip through.
My adrenaline’s still pumping as we come up on the bright glow of the bonfire. Everybody’s gathered around in a circle, most clutching beers as they listen to Silver speak. I stumble onto the scene sweaty and grinning, inserting myself between Mace and Cash, making a joke of my late appearance.
Cash gives me a half amused shake of his head. Mace being Mace clenches his jaw, his agitation clear.
“My bad, guys!” I announce loudly, interrupting the speech. I raise my can of Texas Brew. “Got a little distracted.”
“Yeah, we know,” pipes up Big Eddie from the gathered crowd. “We all heard you fucking.”
Everybody laughs. I glance over at Cass, who bites her bottom lip like she’s some innocent choir girl. She’s standing off to the side with the rest of the old ladies and club girls who are attending the party.
But the truth is, Cassandra’s been auditioning to be a club girl for months now. I’m not the first King she’s fucked. As an artist at one of two tattoo shops in Pulsboro, she’s done most of the work for the guys in the club.
Including most of mine.
I turn back to the guys and shrug. “Priorities. Pussy sounds a lot more appealing than listening to Silver blab about club bylaws for forty minutes.”
More laughs roll over the crowd, though Silver gives an exasperated sigh and pins me with a look I’m familiar with—that fatherly disappointment that’s supposed to cut deep.
It used to for me ’til I realized there was nothing I could do to meet my father’s standards. He simply hated my guts.
“Sorry, sorry,” I say, making a sweeping motion with my arm. “Proceed.”
“Thanks for the permission,” Silver answers, then with another heaved sigh, he goes on. “Anyway, as I was saying, most of you probably already heard… but Nate Rollins’s conviction has been overturned. He’ll be released from the pen soon.”
“Wait, Nate Rollins as in Wheels? As in the former prez of the Road Rebels?” I blurt out, unable to censor myself. I’m still a bundle of energy, still high and drunk and caught up in adrenaline.
“Yes, Oz. That Nate Rollins. His conviction’s been overturned by a federal judge after it was discovered the cops tampered with some of the evidence used against him.”
I scoff. “Figures. Pigs can’t do shit right.”
“Oz,” warns Mace from my side. “Shut the fuck up and let him finish.”
“My bad, Mace. Forgot we’re in grade school. Am I supposed to raise my fucking hand?”
“Hey, cool it. Both of you,” snaps Silver from where he stands at the front of the crowd. The flames from the bonfire crackle louder as if emphasizing his warning. “The point is, we’ve got to be on guard. If Wheel’s gets out, we could be looking at round two with the Road Rebels.”
“Meanwhile Cutty rots away,” I interject. “Least he gets three square meals a day, I guess.”
“Shut the fuck up!” barks Mace, turning toward me at the mention of his father. “I’m not gonna tell you again.”
“Or else what? You’re gonna swing, Mace?”
“Hey, time to separate.” Cash throws an arm around my shoulders and starts to walk me to a new space in the crowd.
I don’t let it faze me, still grinning, throwing a wink at Mace from over my shoulder.
There’s between tension between us for weeks.
He flipped out when he learned from Silver that I had gone on another bender. He accused me of putting the club at risk again, like I was intentionally some fuckup who was out to get into trouble.
I can handle my own shit. That includes the situation with Boone. None of them need to know about it.
It’s none of their goddamn business.
Silver finishes his brief and then lets Tito take over to tell us about new security protocols at the saloon.
I’ve long since tuned out. My attention span is short. All sorts of thoughts buzz inside my head. I chug my Texas Brew and think about how everybody else in the club is a follower. Everybody’s so damn boring and uptight. Where’s the fucking party?
Where’s the club girls shaking their titties in our faces?
My gaze swings up toward the sky, honing in on the same blinking red satellites I’d seen earlier. The light has followed me from the side of the trailer to the ravine, like a camera on record.
“What the fuck is that?” I ask aloud, my neck craned, head tipped back.
“Ozzie—” Cash starts.
But I break away from him and set off on my latest, newest, most spontaneous quest— chase the satellite.
It makes perfect sense.
I don’t give a shit if anybody else gets it. My legs start moving and next thing I know, I’m crushing my beer can and ditching it in the grass. I’m running away from the crowd and toward the satellite.
It hovers miles and miles above whichever direction I go in.
“You think I don’t know you’re watching? I SEE YOU!”
“Oz… Oz… what are you…”
I turn around at the sound of my name and find that Cass has followed me. She’s flushed and out of breath.
I’ve run far enough away from the club meeting that I’ve wound up between some trees. A little farther and I’ll run into the stream flowing through the gorge.
“What’re you doing here?” I ask.
Her eyes widen. “Me? What the hell are you doing? You randomly took off! Everybody’s confused.”
“So what? Hey, c’mere.”
I step toward her, hooking my arm around her waist to guide her over to the nearest tree. I bring her back up against the trunk and reach for the hem of her skirt. Her hands quickly grab at mine to keep them away.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I told you in a few minutes. Want to feel my dick inside that little pussy again?” I lean forward to kiss the side of her neck, but she turns her head to dodge me.
“Oz… you’re acting crazy. I’m getting worried.”
“I’m trying to have some fun.”
“You’re drunk. And high.”
“Aaaand my hard-on’s gone. Thanks, Cass. You nagged it away.”
“You’ve stopped taking your…” She cuts herself off as if realizing last second it’s not a can of worms she wants to open.
But it’s too late for that. I step back from her and cock my head to the side.
“Stopped taking my what , Cass? Finish that sentence.”
“It’s nothing. I just… I told you about my brother. He acts like this when?—”
“Maybe you’re just being a frigid bitch,” I snap over her. “Ever think of that, Cass? Some club girl you’ll be. Get the fuck out of my face.”
I turn from her, digging a hand in my pocket to produce the plastic baggie I’ve stashed away for when the adrenaline slows up and the high wears off.
All these Debbie Downers are bringing my mood down and I need a pick-me-up.
“Oz! Don’t fucking mix that when you’re—OZ!”
Cass’s pleas fall on deaf ears as I use the rolled up dollar bill I keep with me to snort up some of the speed I’ve got on hand. She releases a choked gasp like she can’t believe what she’s seeing, then takes off back toward the bonfire party.
I still don’t give a fuck.
I shrug it off and snort the rest of the grainy white powder, going still as the instant rush hits me. If I was on ten before, I’m on twenty now, buzzing from all the energy. Jumping out of my skin from how restless and hyper I feel.
I want to chase the fucking satellite and jump butt-ass naked in the river. Ride my bike down to the titty bar and throw all the cash I’ve got to my name at the gorgeous girls gyrating on stage.
My mind’s still not made up when somebody calls out my name from the darkness. Mace and a few others emerge from between the trees.
My grin returns. “Yo, Mace brother. Want to go see some titties or you tied down by the ball and chain? Where is Syd anyway? Surprised she let you come ou?—”
“Cut the shit!” he barks, swiping his arm and smacking the baggie and rolled up dollar bill out of my hand. He steps toward me, twisting his fists in the front of my t-shirt. “We had an agreement—you’re not supposed to be using.”
I look beyond his shoulder and make out a few familiar faces in the small crowd that’s followed him. Cash, Silver, Tito, and a teary-eyed Cass watch from a few feet away.
My hands cover Mace’s clenched ones. “Let me go, Mace.”
“Not ’til you explain what the fuck’s going on.”
“I don’t owe you shit! LET ME GO!”
I shove at him, breaking his hold on me, and all hell breaks loose. Mace swings his fist but I duck before the punch lands. Spearing into him, we crash to the ground and throw more punches. Some that connect, some that don’t.
It takes another second before Cash and Tito are able to pry us off each other. I’m wrenched to my feet by Tito while Cash has got Mace.
Spitting out blood from the hit I took in the jaw, I crank out a laugh. “I expected more than that, Cutler! Those were love taps.”
“C’mere and I’ll break your fucking teeth!”
“ENOUGH!” booms Silver over both of us. “Cash, take Mace back to the party. Tito, bring Ozzie with us. He’s going home where he’ll sleep this off.”
I’m too much of a stubborn asshole to listen, even if the orders are coming from Silver. Both he and Tito grab one of my arms and drag me in the direction of the trailer park. I jerk in their hold, planting my boots in the grass, making it as hard as possible for them.
Silver swears under his breath. “You’re going to have to answer for this in the morning.”
“Si, estás siendo un culo,” Tito says.
In the back of my mind, amid the dozens of scattered, fuzzy thoughts, I’m aware what they’re saying is true.
I have been an ass tonight. I’ve fucked up again.
Silver’s right that I’ll have to answer for it once I’m sober. Once the episode passes… if it does. It still won’t be long before the next one comes.
For now, I finally go limp in their hold, letting them escort me home.
A boot nudges me in my side, forcing me awake. My hands come up to my face and I massage my temples instantly feeling like death.
“What the…”
“Get up,” comes Logan’s voice. “Take these.”
I rub the sleep from my eyes and squint up at him. He’s standing over the mattress I’ve got on the living room floor, his expression as severe as his brother’s last night. He’s holding out a couple of pills in the palm of his hand and a glass of water in the other.
Sitting up, I run a hand through my disheveled mohawk and mumble, “No thanks.”
“Take them. Now. I’m not asking.”
“I need a fucking Bloody Mary… like six of ’em. My head’s killing me.” I push myself to my feet and stare around the messy room.
My whole trailer’s chaos. I’ve always joked it suits me.
But peering around with (mostly) sober eyes makes me second guess myself. I’ve got old beer cans and take out containers everywhere I look. A mountain of clothes on the couch that I’m not sure are dirty or clean, and the place reeks of pot.
I step toward the window and crack it open to let in some fresh air.
“Oz, the pills.”
“Who sent you?”
“Never mind.”
“You weren’t at the party last night.”
“Hi, remember me?” comes a soft, sweet voice. Teysha steps into view from where she’s been in my kitchen. The girl’s heavily pregnant, bigger every time I see her, the bump like a basketball hidden under the loose, strappy dress she wears. She holds up a Tupperware container. “Logan was home with me last night. But we came by to bring you some breakfast and make sure you were still alive.”
“I am. No thanks to your brother.” I clap a hand to Logan’s back and then scoop the pills up out of his palm. I already recognize them—they’re each a different color and shape, little symbols etched into their chalky texture.
Pills that rule my life. Pills I’ve been avoiding for weeks.
“Take them,” Logan repeats yet again. He thrusts the glass of water at me.
I heave a sigh and admit defeat. Tossing them back with the water, my tongue rolls out my mouth to show them they’ve gone down. “Good enough, Mom and Dad?”
“You joke, but this was a serious matter. Silver told me what went down.”
“So I was late to the meeting.”
“You and Mace got into it.”
“He swung on me first.”
“You went chasing satellites .”
“Is it my fault they were following me?”
Logan raises both his brows at me, his arms folded across his chest. It’s all he needs to convey what he thinks.
I fucked up and there’s no defense for it.
“I’ll start taking them again,” I say. “You just saw me, didn’t you?”
“And?”
I almost roll my eyes. “No more drugs. Cool it on the alcohol.”
“Eat what Teysha made you. Her eggs are fantastic.”
“I’m sure they are. Everything she cooks is.”
Teysha smiles and wobbles from the kitchen to stop at Logan’s side. They immediately look right together, like they’re already a family before the baby’s even popped out.
It does something to me. Pulls at the heart inside my chest. Reminds me they’ve got what I don’t.
All of them do.
Mace. Cash. Logan.
Their worlds are whole and complete, whereas mine is pure fucking chaos. That’s not changing anytime soon.
Not with how fucking determined I am to wreck myself and everything around me.
I’m a mess and no woman wants that. No one ever sticks around for somebody as fucked up as me.
There’s an abrupt knock on the door, interrupting the moment. A sigh leaves me as I shuffle over, scratching my head, preparing myself to find another club member showing up to scold my ass.
Instead, I twist the knob and drag the door open to find the composed, emotionless face of FBI Agent Zoe Strauss. Her mouth is set in a straight line, her expression sharp and severe. She waits on my doorstep with a baseball cap on and a pair of mirrored sunglasses like she expects them to be some kind of disguise. Anything so she can pretend she’s not really associating with me.
“Got a minute, Gallagher?”