27. Sierra
TWENTY-SEVEN
Sierra
Silvano Cresci’s mansion is very different from the one I grew up in, or even Konstantin’s. The decor is pointed in its design, classy modern with bold colors.
It doesn’t stop this from being the Cresci manor, of course, and I sit awkwardly on the large guest bed. Konstantin is in the armchair while Yuri is lying across the bed. Nikolai is the last one in the shower.
“I think Silvano has figured out you haven’t been using the other bedrooms,” I say, fiddling with the oversized shirt Kyran had lent me. It hides most of my growing belly, although there’s no way I can forget about it.
Yuri snorts derisively. “They know we’re fucking. Kyran said as much the other day.”
My cheeks flush. “Yeah, well…” I trail off. It’s one thing for Kyran to know I look at them in a certain way. It’s another entirely for my brother to know for sure that I’m in a polyamorous relationship with three guys.
Of course, I learned a long time ago what his tastes were—even if it was my own fault for snooping.
“Only one more night,” Konstantin says. He rubs his hairy chest, drawing my attention to a long scar that interrupts the hair. “Then we will have our own bed again, and we can be as loud as we want.”
Yuri sits up and scoots forward to kiss my shoulder. “We can already be as loud as we want. Silvano and Kyran’s bedroom is in a whole other wing of the house.”
If I thought I was blushing before, it’s nothing compared to how hot my cheeks feel right now. “That doesn’t mean his men aren’t close,” I say. “You know they don’t actually trust us, right? They have men posted all over the place.”
It feels weird to be part of that “us,” but I guess that when I took sides, it was inevitable. Despite my heart-to-heart with Kyran, we’re still in a position for things to go sour.
I just have to hope they won’t.
The sound of the shower stops, and a few seconds later, Nikolai comes out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He’s still dripping water everywhere.
“You couldn’t have dried off, at least?” Yuri admonishes.
“I half dried off,” Nikolai says defensively. “But the three of you were going to get started without me. I couldn’t have that.”
I roll my eyes. “You still feel left out over the last time? You’re going to have to get used to not being there every single time I get fucked, Nikolai.”
He shrugs. “Not when I’m right here,” he says.
“It’s not my fault Nikolai is too American to join the revolution,” Yuri jokes, making Konstantin break out in chuckles.
Nikolai scowls at him. “I’m not that American,” he huffs.
None of us point out that he’s as American as I am. There’s no sense in ruining the night, after all, by making Nikolai storm off to one of the other rooms. Nikolai might be less sensitive about his heritage than he used to be, but that doesn’t mean he’s less self-conscious of it.
Nikolai joins us on the bed, leaning in to kiss me. “ Now you can get started.”
“We shouldn’t waste our energy,” Konstantin says, not moving from his chair. “We need to be well rested for tomorrow.”
“But then I’ll have blue balls tomorrow,” Nikolai complains. “Come on, Kotya. It’ll relax us before bed.” He looks at me. “Tell him, Sierra.”
“Me?” I arch a brow at him. I’m about to tell him where he can shove it when Yuri’s hand slides down to my breast, and I bite my lip.
Konstantin scoffs and stands up. I watch as he walks towards the door.
“Kotya?” I say, pushing Yuri away from me. “Where are you going?”
He sighs. “I can’t. Not right now.” He looks over his shoulder at us. “Have fun without me.” He leaves and shuts the door behind him.
I shake my head. “Nope.” I scoot off the bed. “I’ll be back… with Kotya, hopefully.” I head to the door, opening it to see a door closing down the hall. I follow, knocking lightly on the door. “Kotya?” I try. “Can I come in?”
“Do what you want,” Konstantin answers.
I resist the urge to sigh.
Men .
I open the door and quietly close it behind me before turning to face him. He’s seated on the edge of the bed, and I join him, resting my head on his shoulder. “This isn’t about energy,” I tell him. “So what’s going on?”
Konstantin shakes his head. “It is not about energy.” He takes a few breaths before continuing, “We will kill my father, or he will kill me.”
I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me that this would be weighing down on him. I should’ve known. I wonder if Kyran had the time to dread killing Pa before doing it.
I wonder if he mourns him at all.
“He won’t be killing you,” I say firmly. “That isn’t going to happen.” I know that isn’t the point, but I don’t know what to say to him.
“He would, though.” Konstantin clenches his fists. “He came here with the intent to… to torture me, at least. Kill me, eventually. If not him, then Roman.”
“Has it always been like this?” I ask, taking one of his large hands into my own. “Between the three of you?”
“I don’t know. Yes? No?” Konstantin makes a frustrated sound. “I learned to kill for him. I became this person, but now that I am who he always wanted, I’m still wrong. I am not allowed to do anything he doesn’t approve of. I am lesser.”
More than ever, it tugs at me that Konstantin and Kyran have entirely too much in common. And now here they are, at the same precipice, about to take that final blow.
“My father coddled me,” I tell him quietly, “but I saw how he treated my brothers. I… I shouldn’t be surprised things ended the way they did.” My smile is brittle as it briefly crosses my lips. “Turns out Silvano wasn’t the one to do it. Kyran did. Guess we’re all about patricide, aren’t we?”
“I do not want to kill him,” Konstantin confesses. “I am committed to it. I hate him. Yet I still wish he would simply apologize and go away.”
“Me too,” I say. I lean in and kiss his cheek. “You’re allowed to feel this way, you know. There’s nothing wrong with it.” I look up at him. “You do know that, right?”
Konstantin wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. “Thank you, Sierrochka,” he says in Russian.
“You’re welcome,” I say in my own halting Russian. I continue in English, “We can go to sleep, Kotya. We don’t have to do anything but rest. Just the two of us, if you want. Anything you need. They’ll understand.”
“They will not,” Konstantin says with a small smile. “They do not say it, but they are nervous too. My father and Roman have always treated Yura like a child. Nikolai has not recovered from his father’s betrayal, either.”
I breathe out slowly. “I think it would be stupid not to be nervous,” I tell him. “I’m fucking terrified , and I’m not even heading in there. I…” I’m not ready. I know I’m not ready. But there are three little words I need to tell him, because if he dies… I’ll never forgive myself for never having said it. But I can’t bring myself to utter them—not yet. “Get through it, because I have something important to tell you.”
Konstantin tilts my head up. We stare each other in the eyes for several long moments before Konstantin leans in to kiss me.
I will him to understand, to know what I’m thinking without having to utter those words, and I think he understands as I kiss him back with all I have.
When we break apart, I have to blink against the tears.
“Go to them, Sierrochka,” Konstantin says. “They need you more than I do right now.”
Even blinking doesn’t stop the tears, not then, but I nod even though I don’t want this to be the last thing we ever say to each other. “You are not allowed to die,” I say, my voice wobbling. “You understand that, right?”
“I will try very hard.” Konstantin presses his hand to my stomach. “For you, and for the baby.”
I nod. “Okay,” I rasp. “Then… I… I guess I’ll go.” I stand, wishing I wasn’t shaking as I leave the room and return to Nikolai and Yuri with tears still running down my cheeks.
I stumble as soon as I get to them, and Nikolai has his arms around me in a second. “Hey. Hey, what happened?” he asks, sounding alarmed. “Is Kotya okay? Did he upset you?”
I shake my head. “No. No, that’s not it.”
Yuri watches me from the bed, scowling. “If not him, then who? One of Cresci’s men?”
“No,” I say more emphatically. “I’m worried. That’s all. About all of you.” I force a smile. “But it’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“It will,” Yuri agrees. “If Kotya thinks we will fail, then he is an idiot. He has all of us, and Cresci, and Corvi, and even Pavone. That is many more friends than his father has.”
Nikolai squeezes me close to him before leading me to the bed. “Yeah, it is.”
Unless Konstantin’s father has been able to gather more allies since arriving here, but I don’t want to think about that. I want to believe that the odds are in our favor.
“Kiss me,” I tell Nikolai.
He brushes at the tears on my cheeks before cupping my face in his hands and kissing me. “It’s going to be fine.”
I think about his gunshot, and how he has to be ignoring his pain, but I nod weakly. “Yeah. It is.”
Yuri slides into place next to me. He wraps his arms around my waist while I continue to kiss Nikolai. They’ve boxed me in, and although I would have hated this several months ago, I now appreciate their warmth and their strength.
I wish Konstantin was here too, but I understand why he isn’t in the mood.
I’m not really either, but if I have to be the moral support—and give them one last good memory, an unwelcome voice creeps into the back of my mind—then I will.
Nikolai doesn’t let go of me, though he starts stroking my hair instead of my face as he lets his arm fall to his side.
“What do you want to do, Sierra?” Yura asks as he nuzzles my neck.
“Let me take care of the two of you tonight,” I tell him, turning away from Nikolai so I can kiss Yuri instead. “Please.”
Nikolai looks at me, meeting my eyes, and he says quietly, “Nothing’s going to happen to us, zaya. You don’t need to act like you’re never going to see us again.”
I wince, but he’s on the mark, and I can’t pretend he’s not. I don’t know what to say to that, so I kiss him again.
Nikolai tugs at my shirt, pulling it over my head, and when he bares the brand on my chest, he leans down to kiss it. “You’re ours. We’re not abandoning you. No matter what,” he promises. He unfastens my bra, tossing that to the side as well, and he caresses me far more gently than he usually does.
“My adventurous Sierra,” Yuri murmurs, guiding me to lie down on my back. He kisses my lips, but moves to kiss all the way down my body until he reaches my stomach, where that first hint of swelling is. He pets my belly and kisses all over. “Mother of our child.”
“So beautiful,” Nikolai says, cupping one of my breasts in his hand and squeezing lightly before thumbing over the nipple. “So perfect.”
I’m far from perfect, but I drink in the praise.
Maybe they’re not the only ones who need this right now.
Nikolai sheds his towel, tossing it somewhere onto the floor, then lies on his side by me with one leg wrapped over mine. I can feel the press of his hard cock against my thigh, but he doesn’t rush me.
Yuri positions himself on my other side. The two of them take turns kissing me, their hands all over me. I close my eyes and focus on the sensations, the way their touch goes from ghosting to frantic as their fingers tease my nipples. They play with my clit and penetrate me with their fingers, all while grinding their cocks against me. I gasp and reach down so I can stroke them, too.
It’s so different from what we usually do, but it’s good, too, all of us focusing on making each other feel good.
“In,” I whisper, grabbing for Yuri first. He lets out a quiet chuckle, but none of us seem willing to break this spell. He moves so he can get atop me, spreading my legs wide as he stares down at my face like he’s trying to memorize it.
Yuri slowly thrusts into me, groaning at the same time I do, and I glance beside me to look at Nikolai.
Nikolai is stroking himself, and I’m all too aware of the bandage on his shoulder. That doesn’t stop him from leaning down and kissing me again, though, even though I can tell he’s doing his best not to put any weight on his injured side.
If things don’t go well, he could end up being riddled with bullet holes all over, and it’s a thought that has tears welling up in my eyes again.
“None of that,” Nikolai says, catching my gaze. “No tears. Not tonight, zaya.”
Yuri reaches out, his thumb brushing away my tears as he takes me—as he makes love to me in a way I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before.
Yuri spills into me, panting against my lips. I cling to him through his orgasm. As soon as he pulls out, Nikolai lines himself up and pushes into me with a grunt. He’s still holding himself up with one muscled arm, favoring the other, and I wrap my legs around him to pull him closer to me.
I don’t know if it’s the strange mood or the feeling of Yuri’s cum already inside of me, but Nikolai murmurs, “Touch her clit for me, Yura. I want to feel her come around me.”
Yuri reaches over without a word, kissing me as he reaches between my thighs to stroke my clit.
I cry out, the feeling of Nikolai’s thrusts and Yuri’s touch getting better and better as the seconds tick by.
When I’m close, I don’t hold back. I let out a loud moan, my hips jerking as my pussy tightens around Nikolai’s cock. He comes seconds after, filling me up, then he pulls out and rolls over.
“Fuck,” he mumbles. “I’m going to feel that tomorrow.” He catches my worried look. “Worth it, zaya. More than worth it.”
I rest back on the bed as Yuri settles on the other side of me, with the two of them providing much-needed warmth—and safety.
I wish Konstantin was here to experience it with us.
Next time. And there will be a next time.
I have to believe it.
I have to.