Chapter 3
“Today is a special day. Do you remember why, Owen?”
I stop concentrating on the picture I’m drawing. The new colouring pencils Maria bought are amazing.
“I remember,” I say, smiling.
I’m excited, but I don’t like to get my hopes up too much. Not when things can be taken away quickly. So, I hide it.
But my heart is beeping super fast.
“I thought we could pop to town, and you could pick out a teddy for her?”
“I’d like that.” I look back down at my picture and pick up the bright red pencil. “Can I finish this first? It’s for her.”
Maria comes and sits at the table with me, peering over at my work of art.
I hope she likes it.
Lucy.
My new friend.
I don’t know much about Lucy, but I know she’s younger. Maria told me that I have to take care of her. Like a big brother. I like the thought of being a big brother. I’ve never had a real family before.
“I’m sure she will love it.” I look at Maria and she smiles down. Her eyes sparkly blue, like the sun shining off the sea. I remember going to the beach once.
“Do you think we can take her to the beach?”
“I’m sure we can take her one day.”
“I bet she would love the sea.” I stick my tongue out and carefully colour the L. “Do you think you can draw a little sunflower for me? I feel like Lucy would like sunflowers.”
“Where would you like me to put them?”
“All over her name. Sprouting from the tops. Like she is the sunshine that has made the flowers.”
“That’s lovely, Owen,” Maria says, her eyes filling with tears.
“Sorry,” I say looking away.
Something drops inside my tummy. It’s heavy, and icky. I don’t like that feeling.
“Oh no, sweetheart. These are happy tears.”
Happy tears. That’s a thing? I don’t like it when I see sad tears from her eyes. It happens when they shout at each other.
But happy tears are…good.
I smile, that horrible feeling in my tummy disappearing and being replaced with something warm, like the flowers that Maria is drawing.
Sunflowers.
Big, bright, and yellow.
And happy.
Just like I hope Lucy will be when she gets home, and I give her the amazing teddy I’m going to get her.
“What was her full name again?”
“Lucy Cook.”
“Cook. That was it. Well, there’s only one thing we are missing from this picture.”
“And what’s that?”
“Cookies, of course.”
“Do you think she will like it?” I’m skipping in front of Maria. She’s so slow sometimes. I’m playing a game, don’t step on the cracks. Because if you do, MONSTERS!
I’m swinging the bag back and forth, jump, jump, swing, swing.
Don’t step on the cracks.
I found a teddy and it’s perfect, like my picture. It’s small and fluffy because, all teddies need to be fluffy, It’s the rules. And this one is super special because it’s got a, can you guess?
A cookie!
Cookie for Lucy Cook.
I think I’m going to call her Cookie. I bet she would like that, a nickname.
Maria has told me to not be too eager as it’s a big day for Lucy, and she reminded me about the day I came here.
I don’t like to think about that day.
It’s sad.
I stop jumping and look down at the bag, shaking my head, hoping the horrible memories go away. Maria says it’s all in the past now. But sometimes, even now, after being with Maria and James for a year, those memories come back and flash through my head like an angry camera.
Flash, flash, flash.
Go away, go away, go away.
“Are you okay?”
Maria bends in front of me, her sparkling eyes drawing my attention away from the little teddy that is gripped in my hand. I don’t remember taking it out.
I’ve done one of my weird things.
I don’t like it when that happens.
Flashbacks, she says it’s called. When those flashes come on too quick, I disappear off somewhere else. Somewhere in the past.
“I was thinking about my first day,” I whisper.
I try to swallow, but there’s something in my throat. Like an enormous ball that won’t let me swallow.
Bleurgh.
I cough, trying to make it go away.
“Do you remember how you felt?”
“Scared.”
“And that will be how Lucy is feeling today. But your picture and teddy will help her, and we will make sure she is happy.”
“And safe,” I say. “Because she may not have had a nice time like me.”
“Exactly.” She smiles at me and leans forward, kissing my head. “You’re very brave, and Lucy will love you as much as we do. And do you know something else?”
“What?”
“It’s going to be easier for Lucy.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because she has you looking out for her.”
I smile and look down at the teddy, the little hands gripping the small cookie.
“She does. She’ll always have me.”
The front door opens, and I throw myself off the chair.
“Slowly, Owen,” Maria says.
“We’re home,” James calls from the hallway.
Oh my God. Oh my God. I grab my picture and the teddy. Maria holds out her hand, and I grip it tightly.
“And this is Lucy,” James says.
I can’t see her because I’m standing behind Maria. My heart is beeping really fast again, and my body keeps on moving. Like I’m one of those toys that you wind up and it gives them lots of energy.
That’s me.
I’ve been wound up, and now I want to move lots and lots.
Maria says it’s because I’m nervous.
She puts her arm around me and positions me in front of her. I see James first, my foster father.
He and Maria have been spending time with Lucy at the hospital where she has been staying to get better after her accident.
She couldn’t go home, so now she is here.
He’s holding a little girl.
Her hair is dark.
So dark, like the darkest of nights. It’s shiny, too. How is it so shiny? It looks so soft. I want to touch it. But I don’t move, because I don’t want to scare her.
She’s gripping his neck so tightly. She must be scared.
It’s a death hold. Full of fear, like how I hold onto Maria after one of my dreams.
“Hello, Lucy,” Maria says softly. “I’d like to introduce you to someone who is really excited to meet you.”
She’s talking about me.
I am excited.
But now, when I see how tightly she holds onto James, that feeling is back in my tummy again.
I step from behind Maria and walk towards where James is kneeling on the floor, the fluffy teddy, and picture gripped in my hand, my heart still beeping like it’s going to explode out of my chest.
I hope that doesn’t happen. That wouldn’t be a good start, and would absolutely, definitely scare her. I look back to Maria to make sure I’m doing a good job, and she nods.
I must be doing okay.
James is smiling at me, too.
“I made you a picture.” My voice sounds funny, like the lump in the back of my throat is stopping the sound from coming out like normal. “Would you like to see it?”
Her little body wiggles, and I step forward, closer. She nestles her head into James more, so I step behind him.
“I remember my first day,” I say into the dark head of hair; I still can’t see her face. “It’s scary, isn’t it? Your tummy feels all wibbly, and your heart beeps really fast. My heart’s beeping really fast now, too.” Her head moves, and for the first time, I see part of her face.
I smile.
Her eyes are even more blue than Maria’s. Although Lucy’s are rimmed with red.
She’s been crying.
“Your eyes are very pretty,” I say, and she peeks out further. I can see her nose now, and a blue mark on her face.
Maria said she would have bruises like I get from school sometimes. I frown. I don’t like seeing them on her face.
On your knees are okay.
Scrapes and scratches happen, especially from football when I play with Billy. But now I’m closer, I can see Lucy has lots of little bruises. Even on her arms that she still holds onto James tightly with.
“I got you a teddy.” I hold it up and she lifts her head.
I don’t even know if it’s possible, but my heart beeps even faster.
Beep, beep, beep.
Boom, boom, boom.
“I thought we could call it Cookie.”
“Cookie,” she whispers.
A big smile explodes like a firework on my face. “Yes,” I say too loudly. “Sorry,” I say quietly, looking at Maria who has tears running down her face.
“Happy tears,” she whispers, and I nod to show that I understand.
“Are yours happy tears?” I ask Lucy, who has tears streaming down her face.
She doesn’t answer me though. She just reaches out her hand as I pass her the teddy. Her fist clenches around it, and I whisper, “Welcome home, Cookie.”