Chapter 33
Kinsley
Making Promises
“What are you promising, kotyonok?” Alek asked, leaning against the doorway of the library.
He completely startled me to where I jumped. Even his father straightened and studied him.
“Noth…nothing,” I stammered, my face flushing.
I had no idea how much he’d heard, but from his expression, he’d heard enough. I clutched the book tighter to my chest.
“Kinsley, will you wait for me in your room, please? I’d like a word with my father.”
I got up, thanked his father for letting me borrow the book in my hand, and went to leave.
Alek stopped me and whispered in my ear. “I intend to show you how much this relationship will continue. When I said wait, I meant I want you in standing wait position.”
I sucked in my breath and nodded. His demeanor was undeniable and made my heart race, and I hurried to my room. I stood around for a few minutes, not knowing what to do first. It was only then I noticed I was still clutching the book.
After placing it on the side table, I moved to undress. Standing wait position was naked, legs shoulder-width apart, hands clasped behind your back, head up with eyes downcast, and tits out. I wanted to put more lotion on them but wasn’t sure how much time I had.
As I stood at the end of my bed, a sense of déjà vu hit.
Dear god, don’t let anyone else walk in.
If his mother did, I’d die of humiliation.
While most of what we’d done sexually thus far was crazy erotic for me, it was tame for them.
Given what I knew both about the BDSM lifestyle and their demeanors, we had barely scratched the surface of what we could do with one another.
Alek’s tone was unmistakable tonight. Our text messages from earlier came back to me. He wanted to take me there, to show me the real Alek. Could I handle it? I stood trembling as I waited with a mix of fear and anticipation.
The sudden creak of the door opening snapped me out of my mindless ramblings. But it was the sound of the lock engaging that had a shiver racing through my body. I kept my eyes downcast and saw him walking over. He stood directly in front of me while I concentrated on his shoes.
The suit sharpened every edge of him, as if the fabric itself was complicit in the danger he carried. How had I missed that this morning? Power clung to him like cologne, rich and heady. Damn, he turned me on.
He slid off his jacket and draped it over the chaise lounge, each movement deliberate. My gaze tracked every inch of him, heat coiling tighter with every breath. Composure? Gone. I was already on the verge of combustion. And the man hadn’t even touched me yet.
“Do you have your list ready?” His voice was smooth, hypnotic, and lyrical. It rumbled through me and lingered in my ears. The throbbing between my legs was distracting as desire pulsed through me.
“N-n-no, Sir,” I croaked out. God, if my heart beat any faster I’d need a hospital.
He let out a heavy sigh. “What am I to do with you? I’m pretty sure I asked twice today alone. Once before I left and another over text. Did you think I was playing, kitten?”
Shit, he sounded disappointed. “No, Sir.” Every muscle in my body tensed as my adrenaline spiked.
“Tell me something, are you wet?” He waited a minute, then said, “Answer me.”
“Yes, Sir,” I moaned, my body burning with need.
“So how am I supposed to teach you my ways, as you requested, if I don’t have a copy of your hard and soft limits? How am I supposed to teach my perfect pet what the Reaper requires of her? If I was left to my own devices, there would be a pretty little collar going around this neck.”
“No,” I exclaimed; my eyes raised to meet his, breaking position. Why would he bring that up knowing how I reacted to the package? He narrowed his eyes, so I lowered mine.
Breathe, stupid. He won’t hurt you even if he did collar you. He would never hurt you—not like them. He’s trying to make a point, is all. Listen and you might learn something.
“I know you have an aversion to being collared, but having it on physical paper, listed under hard limits, means it’s off the table completely.
It means it’s nonnegotiable. Not only does that define your limits, but it gives me the ability to determine if this is a right fit for me too.
” God, his voice was driving me insane. The sexy, low tones that were bathed in dominance had me quaking.
“What do you mean? If this is a right fit for you?” I asked, hating that my voice wobbled. My vision blurred as fresh tears threatened to spill.
“Maybe, my little pet, I want something more permanent with you, to show you I’m committed. Maybe I want to assure you that abandoning you is so far from my thought processes that anytime you bring it up, a simple tug on your collar would remind you of who you belong to.”
“Are you saying we aren’t a good fit?” I whispered, feeling confused.
He inhaled. “I’m saying that without knowing what your hard limits are, I can’t make that decision.
Nor can I find a creative way to assure you I intend to keep you.
” He trailed a finger down my arm and then up it sensually.
“Do you see why it’s important now?” His fingers caressed my neck at the exact place a collar would be placed.
Then he loosened his tie, the movement sensual and slow. I licked my lips, wanting to taste him.
“Yes,” I moaned.
“Tell me why you disobeyed my request.” His voice was so controlled at the moment, which only lent to my arousal. Alek in control. Holy hell, it was like an aphrodisiac.
“I got busy and forgot, Sir. I’m sorry.” The excuse sounded so lame.
“See, and right now is where I’d tell you tonight you will address me as Master. And we know how well that went the last time,” he growled.
“Please…” I shook my head, feeling faint, and let my voice trail off.
“Don’t fret. Thankfully, I know your aversion to that as well.
Where I’m struggling is that our relationship needs its own boundaries.
I’ve no problem sharing you with my brothers.
Nik gets to be your Daddy, and Ivan your beloved.
You call all of us Sir. We are all your Kings, too, so that leaves me wondering how special am I to you? ”
“You are so special to me. Never doubt that,” I cried.
“So how am I any different from either of them? This relationship has to be mutually beneficial for it to last. How would you feel if I never took care of your needs but always made you take care of mine?”
“I wouldn’t like that,” I whispered.
“Exactly. I know my little kitten is needy both in the bedroom and outside of it. I will always want to be in tune with that. It’s one of my jobs to know. Remember how I told you you were more than a play partner or a sub in Seattle?” He started walking around me, and my body trembled.
“Yes, I do.”
“I meant that. I made the mistake of collaring a woman once, and I didn’t feel for her a tenth of the way I do about you.
I would put aside my desire to collar you and hear you call me Master, but you have to give me the ability to do so.
On paper is where we begin. I wanted to peruse your list tonight and try a few things. Now look at us.”
I stood, trembling, naked. But the weight of his words wrapped around me like an unspoken promise. Something stirred deep within me. Every truth spoken was filled with profound insight, and it resonated with a clarity that left me as breathless as his kisses did.
For the first time in my life, I was on the precipice of understanding, and a sea of possibilities lay before me. All the uncertainty I had faded away. All that remained was the intricate tapestry we could build and use to define our relationship. Even if it was only for a few weeks.
A newfound surge of confidence took hold. The revelation left me emboldened and ready to embrace this dance. This was a rare, precious gift—a chance to explore the intimacy I longed for with someone who saw me. And not only did he see me, but he understood me, truly—wholly.
“I’m sorry I disappointed you. I can do better,” I said clearly, knowing his words weren’t a rejection of me but instruction.
“I’m sure you can. Now tell me, kitten. I’m well aware of your revulsion to a specific type of whip and gag, but are you equally upset by blindfolds?”
“No. And off the top of my head, without knowing all the different types of play and kinks, just the two things you mentioned and fisting. I promise I’ll be better prepared next time. Please don’t hurt me,” I whimpered.
“Fisting can be quite pleasurable when done right, but we’ll leave it on the hard-limit list. Now on to the last part of what you just said. Have I ever hurt you?”
“No, Sir.”
“Have you had use of your safeword at all times?”
“Yes, Sir,” I answered.
With each question he asked, I became stronger.
This man could’ve, over the last few months, forced me, raped me, or beaten me, yet he hadn’t.
Why would he start now? From under my lashes, I saw him remove his tie.
Silk kissed the apples of my cheeks as he tied it firmly behind my head, robbing me of my sight.
His fingers trailed down my back as I sucked in my breath.
It was electric, his gentle caress on me.
At that moment, another realization hit. I would allow him to do anything he wanted with me because I trusted him enough to stop if I asked. He was worried I didn’t see him as special. But if he only knew how much he meant to me, it would scare him away, I was sure.
If he longed to collar a woman, hear her call him Master, and was willing to give that up for me, what did that say about his character and how he felt?
The intense realization that he already truly owned me and had mastered me hit hard, and I doubled over.
My breath came out in quick gasps as I tried to suck in air. He responded immediately.