Chapter 48 #2
“These are the memories of our family. We’ll start with Alek and work our way through.
I want to introduce you to my sister. I want you to know her, as I knew her, as we knew her.
As a daughter through my mother and father’s eyes, as a sister through mine and my brothers’.
Because to know her is to know me on a different level.
While the world has forgotten she ever existed, these remind us that she once lived a good life. ”
She hugged the book to her chest and cried. I moved to her side, and she choked out, “Will you sit with me and tell me everything?” She patted the seat beside her. Once I was settled, she reached out with trembling hands and brushed her fingers over the cover of Alek’s book.
We spent the entire morning poring over the photos and memory books.
With each story told, my burden felt lighter and the closer Kinsley and I became.
After the last pages were turned, the memories and our conversation settled between us like a cozy, warm blanket.
She rested her head against my shoulder, her hands gripping my book.
Her voice, soft and quiet, broke the stillness.
“Do you think she would have liked me?”
I considered her question. My heart swelled with all the emotions I had stuffed down for years. In that instant, it was like Vanya was there. Her presence was so strong I took several deep breaths as the sensation stole over me, causing goose bumps to erupt across my arms.
I’d only shared the happy memories with Kinsley at this point. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go down the dark road of after with her. My sister’s spirit made the decision for me. I knew without a doubt how my sister would have felt about her.
“Come with me, please.” I had to pry the book from her hands, she was gripping it so hard. I laid it down with the others and pulled her from her seat.
With her hand in mine, I led her out of the library and raced down the stairs. When we got to the second-story landing, I took her over to my sister’s old bedroom. I hesitated for a moment, getting my emotions under control. My heart was heavy with memories, but I pushed it open.
“Is this…?” she asked, her voice breaking as she stepped inside the room that had been frozen in time.
The walls were painted a soft lavender, and posters of some of my sister’s favorite grunge bands adorned the walls.
The maids dusted in here weekly but left everything as it was the night she left.
She’d only taken a bag filled with some clothes and a family heirloom and left everything else behind.
On the dresser sat her MP3 player and headphones, the ring Sebastian had given her, as well as a picture of them from their mock wedding.
The bed was still neatly made and stood against one wall.
The black-and-purple plaid comforter had been a compromise my mother had given in to.
One of her favorite teddy bears that Sebastian had won at a fair sat in the same spot it always had—the center of the bed.
On the nightstand, her diary lay closed.
“Mother couldn’t bring herself to touch a single thing. If you take a deep breath, you can smell her still. I swear, sometimes I think she comes in here and sprays Vanya’s favorite body spray. We’ve kept it this way, knowing she’d haunt us from the afterlife if we got rid of her favorite things.”
Her desk was cluttered with trinkets and mementos, and a bookshelf stood in the corner, with all the novels she’d loved so much.
Kinsley’s eyes widened in awe. Her hand left mine, and emotions flickered in her gaze—sadness for someone she’d never known, pain for my family over missing her.
She walked over to the bookshelf but didn’t touch anything.
“This is who Vanya was after. She wanted to paint the walls black, but mother wouldn’t let her. The bathroom over there is where…where I found her.”
My voice broke unexpectedly, and I fell to my knees and wept as I did all those years ago with the guys. Kinsley ran over. Unearthing all the memories only made me miss Vanya more.
“I think the hardest part is I still feel her. It’s as strong as ever, and the connection is so fucking deep and real. I know she’s gone, but fuck if I don’t miss her. It hurts.”
Kinsley sat next to me and took me in her arms. She pulled me close and cradled my head against her chest as she rocked me.
She didn’t speak; it wasn’t necessary, and because she was familiar with grief, she simply understood.
Her hand rubbed my back in a soothing rhythm, and I clung to her.
The tears flowed freely, and I let my grief pour out.
“My beloved, it’s okay. You’re safe with me.”
We sat for several long moments on my sister’s bedroom floor, holding one another, and an incredible peace filled me.
“You asked if my sister would have liked you. Without a shadow of a doubt, she would have fucking adored you. Loved you as fiercely as we do. She would have welcomed you with open arms, and it wouldn’t have bothered her that you loved all three of us.”
“Really?” Kinsley asked, her eyes filled with love.
My eyes met hers, and I continued. “Um, yes, in fact, she would have probably been your biggest cheerleader, especially with my parents. I’d like to think the two of you would have been friends.
She would have been able to see how much you love me, Nik, and Alek, and it would have made her heart happy. ”
“Is that her and Sebastian?” Kinsley asked. She’d caught sight of the picture. Her face erupted in wonder, and I nodded.
Picking it up gingerly, she exclaimed, “He was so young! How old?”
“Twelve. She was eleven. That was a good day. Would you like to see her favorite spot in all the world? Or well, one of them.”
“Very much,” she breathed, carefully putting the picture in the exact spot she’d taken it from. Her fingers traced over the diary, and I frowned, remembering the contents.
“Come on, then, I’ll show you. And then I’ll take you down to my favorite swimming hole.”
She gave me her hand to help me up from the floor, and I laughed at her effort. She dug her bare feet into the carpet and pulled, grunting in the process. My laughter caused Kinsley to laugh as well. Mother must have heard because she poked her head in the room.
Her eyes went wide, and Kinsley immediately looked terrified, like she’d broken some sort of rule. I scrambled to my feet, feeling nervous. I hadn’t told my mother we’d be coming in here.
She approached Kinsley, who had lowered her head and shook. My mother closed her eyes and whispered, “I haven’t heard laughter coming from this room in so long. It’s really good to hear. I think you and Vanya would have been kindred spirts.”
My mother then wrapped her arms around Kinsley and shrugged her shoulders. Once more, my sister’s presence drifted around me, making me happy.