Chapter 15
Roksana
With each step I took, I felt the weight of my actions grow.
When I arrived at Rey’s office, the man standing guard took one look at me and scrambled to open the door.
Once inside, I ripped off the mask and tossed it aside.
Then I collapsed into my wolf’s worn leather chair and buried my face in its cushions, hoping for the slightest hint of Rey’s scent.
The office hadn’t changed in his absence. Well, apart from the paperwork, which was neatly stacked rather than scattered across every available surface. Besides this, it was just the same, perfectly reflecting the king’s personality.
Riordan was still busy, but that worked for me.
I needed to draft a letter. Telling Rey about my plans filled me with dread, so I looked around, hoping to find some liquid courage hidden in a dark corner.
My luck had run dry as neither wine nor mead appeared during my search.
Instead, I found a quill and ink… but the words to describe my feelings eluded me.
The grand plan was simple. Search Tivala’s castle, find any and all evidence or schemata, then destroy the marriage contract.
The problem lay in the execution, and I didn’t know how to explain this, or why I was the best person for the job.
He wouldn’t accept me saying it was my way of protecting him – that if I failed, then at least he wouldn’t need to justify my presence to the council.
‘Gods, Tova will be pissed if I go there without him. Ha, Rey… he’ll tan my arse.
’ I blushed, pushing that thought aside, racking my brain for something to help him understand why I had to go.
It was tempting to say nothing. To handle things as I always did, by myself and in secret, but keeping Reynard in the dark didn’t sit right anymore.
I picked up an empty sheet of vellum from the pile and started writing.
Hey Wolfie,
How’s your frozen backside? I’m sitting in your chair, drinking your mead, and wondering why I’m missing you so much.
I’m sure Riordan is sending you reports, but knowing him, those are dry facts.
He’s doing a terrific job despite the circumstances, and I’m trying to help.
Don’t you dare blame him for what I’ve been up to because that’s all on me.
I paused, wondering how to soften the blow. The last thing I wanted was for him to worry about the capital while he was fighting a war.
There’s an issue with Tivalaran, and we’ve found a connection between the void cube and the Wey Gates.
Jagon said we have another enemy, mentioning galleons in the South.
Your favourite duke’s lost his damn marbles and is up to his neck in this.
We’ve got our best mages working on the void cube.
Well, void gate, I suppose you’d call it.
Sorry, I’m rambling. They can’t do much without the schemata, so I’m going to find them. Tova will tell you more once he reaches your camp. Yes, he’s on the way, so please look after my dwarf.
I couldn’t exactly finish with ‘don’t worry, it will be fine,’ so I tried again.
Riordan had a minor issue, but just last night, yours truly ensured those fuckers would keep their heads down, although you owe Irsha a pretty penny for this.
I paused. It was a risky move informing him of my plans, but that was the point of my letter, so I had to muster my courage. Besides, I would likely be in the deep South when he received it.
Rey, I know we don’t always see eye to eye, but I care for you.
Ink splashed on the paper as my hand shook.
I want to be more than a king’s mistress, dark sister, or even a vivamancer.
My father called me a shadow mage, but in my heart, I’m the king’s shadow, and I’ll protect you and our kingdom, whatever it takes.
That’s why I’m going to Tivalaran. I’m going to retrieve every schemata that bastard’s hiding and destroy this damned contract.
Not just because those morons want to use it against you, but because you’re mine.
I looked at the words, my feelings laid out on paper.
When had I become so greedy? Letting him go was no longer an option, but should I have written it down?
Cover this soft, vulnerable side? But what if something happened, and he never learned how I felt?
I left it as it was, but had to offset the heaviness that weighed on my soul. Thinking of his reaction, I smiled.
Now, calm down, take a deep breath, and let me take care of it. Yes, I know you well enough to know you want to chase after me. Don’t. I followed your lead when you sent me out of the camp. It’s your turn to follow mine now, even if it’s hard.
Remember. You told me I’m your equal, and I’ll take nothing less. I’m the Deadly Nightshade who chose to protect her king. Because you are… mine.
Always yours,
Viper.
I looked at the letter; it would surely piss him off, but I’d been as honest as I could be.
All the information was there, but I wanted to give him something more to remember me by.
After a moment of hesitation, I undid my braid and cut off one honey-gold curl.
It wrapped around my finger, a slim band of gold that carried my scent.
Rey told me I smelled like lilac and honey, but all I could smell was herbs.
After a quick search, I found a ribbon to tie it neatly.
‘Maybe this will calm your Wild Magic before you go berserk,’ I muttered, sealing the letter, preparing to give it to Riordan.
Riordan walked in an hour later, finding me half asleep with my feet up on the desk. ‘Good work, Sana. Whatever you did to Tivala’s allies, no one spoke against Reynard except that youngster.’ He pushed my feet off the table to sit on its corner. I looked up, smiling at his content expression.
‘Poison, theatrics, and a bit of magic. It’s only a temporary solution to our problem,’ I said, sitting up and stretching myself. ‘I’m going to Tivalaran as soon as I sort out a few issues in the Brotherhood. Could you please deliver this letter to Rey with your report?’
‘What? Why?’ Riordan pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. ‘I can’t let you do it.’
‘I’m not asking for permission.’ I shook the envelope in front of his face. ‘We need those schemata, and factual information on what Tivala’s planning. And after today’s session, destroying the fake marriage contract becomes even more important.’
Riordan frowned once again, shaking his head. ‘Then send your Observers. The treasury will pay.’
‘I could, except that for a few blades, I don’t know whom to trust in the Brotherhood.’ My explanation made me sigh, but even more when I pushed the envelope towards him. ‘Deliver it… please. I need him to know what I’m doing and why.’
‘You’ll be the death of me. How do you think Rey’ll react when I tell him the woman he loves leapt into the most dangerous quest she could think of, and I let it happen?
’ I raised an eyebrow until Riordan broke and snatched the letter from my hand.
‘Fine, but don’t blame me if he charges into Tivalaran to find you. ’
I looked at Riordan, the genuine concern in his gaze and the crease that now seemed to be permanently etched between his brows. ‘He won’t,’ I said calmly, standing up.
‘What makes you so sure?’ he asked, shoulders slumping in defeat.
‘Because I asked him not to. Because I asked him to trust me, and because deep down, he knows that if his love turns into my cage, I’ll find the way to escape.’
‘Sana… you’ll break his heart.’
‘No, Ri. I’m fighting for a future where he and I can be together,’ I said, meaning every word. ‘You heard those bastards – a king’s mistress, a woman to be used in the time of need… They won’t respect him if they don’t respect me, and I swear I’ll make them choke on those words.’
‘Rey would rather deal with their scorn than let you face Tivala alone,’ Riordan said, but there was no fight in his voice. His remark was more a statement of fact, and I agreed with it.
‘I know he would. Or intimidate them into bowing their heads and being respectful in public, but what about me? What about what I want?’ I placed my hand on the mage’s shoulder as I stood next to him.
‘I will earn my place by his side or withdraw into the shadows. I will never let anyone make my decisions for me. Not even Rey.’
‘You’re both so bloody stubborn; it’s a miracle I haven’t gone grey.’ Riordan patted my shoulder. ‘Fine. If you need to go, can I ask you not to do anything reckless?’
‘Reckless?’ I asked because something in the tone of his voice gave me pause.
‘I received a message earlier. The university mages found the origin of the runes on the void boxes.’ He paused, and my fists involuntarily tightened.
‘Go on. Just don’t tell me they’re dwarven…
No, Tova would’ve recognised them. Besides, dwarves and magic don’t mix.
’ I bit my lip, trying to decipher his silence.
Could a half-dwarf create them? It was highly improbable.
First, because their race rarely interbred with others, and second, there was something in the way the dwarven body processed aether that completely suppressed their ability to manipulate it, making it possible for them to mine srebrec ore.
‘It’s Tangrean,’ he said with a heavy sigh. He had to be mistaken.
‘Ri, I’d sooner believe in a dwarven mage than this. Tangra? You can’t be serious,’ I said, hoping it was just a mistake, a slip of the tongue, or a mistake in the research.
Tangra threatening the South was bad news.
Tangra playing with magic was a disaster.
The Hierophant of Tangra and his acolytes were the only ones allowed to use magic.
They believed the ability to cast was blasphemy against their gods, that only the chosen few could touch the divine.
Punishment for those caught manipulating the aether was exsanguination on the altar of their unforgiving gods.
‘Trust me, I wish it were a mistake. I do.’ Riordan sighed, rubbing his temples.
‘Do you think Tivala’s involved or have we lost the South to them?’ My fingers drummed on the desk when I assessed the chances. ‘The Windmaster Fae would’ve informed us. Fuck… do you think they used a Wey Gate?’
‘Maybe? That’s what I want to find out. If you’re determined to go to Tivalaran, see how things are there. If you spot Tangra soldiers…’
‘Then I’ll make sure the information gets out,’ I finished for him, chilled to the bone by this possibility.
The Tangra Empire, built on the blood and suffering of the nations it subdued, was far distant and no threat to Dagome – I’d assumed.
Even with their military power, they couldn’t match our battlemages and dragons, but if they found a way to limit our use of magic and cross the sea without losses…
‘Veles’ arse! We need to inform Reynard!’
‘Rey knows, but until we understand the threat, we can’t do anything about it.’ Riordan rubbed the bridge of his nose. ‘There’s a couple of things he doesn’t know yet. Tivala is dredging his ports. Going by the reports, it sounds like he’s using many of his citizens to deepen his harbours.’
‘What the hell?’ I frowned, baffled by this discovery. ‘What’s that supposed to accomplish?’
‘I’m guessing he wants to ensure the Hierophant’s soldiers reach our shores, one way or another.
Then there’s the latest worrying discovery: the srebrec pillars Tivala set on the borders are making people ill.
’ He gave me an apologetic look, and I realised there weren’t many people he could share his worries with.
‘I’ll look into what I can, but if it’s a Tangra invasion, what are our plans? What can we do?’ My hopes that Riordan had a plan crumbled when he shrugged.
‘Wait for Rey? I don’t know… The only reason Tivala and his supporters are still allowed to attend the council is our vague hope that we can change the situation.
The old duke’s lands are our first line of defence, and with proper reinforcements, the Tangrean fleet would bleed themselves dry trying to invade our shores. ’
‘Or we can ensure they never reach our shores. Write to the Windmaster Fae. Even the sturdiest of ships would struggle to survive in their territory during the winter, which should keep the ships away till summer. Make the current Windmaster aware we’d offer favourable terms for their assistance.’
‘You mean send a polite letter asking them to monitor the situation and let us know if anyone from Tangra requests aid?’ he asked with a smirk. I nodded, something akin to mutual understanding passing between us.
‘Exactly. I’ll convince Boyan to send a few Observers to the borders.
We’ll have all the intel they can gather while I sneak into Tivala’s castle.
We can’t win this without Reynard and his army, but we can ensure we take every advantage in preparation for his return.
Tivala won’t know what’s hit him!’ I said with more force than I intended.
Riordan’s posture relaxed, a smile tugging on his lips as he watched me, my quill stabbing the map where Tivala’s castle sat near the shore.
‘Yes, my lady.’ He bowed, shaking with silent laughter when I bristled.
‘Thank you for this, Roksana, and for your help with the council. You’d make a better regent than I’d ever be. ’
I stood up, sighing when the well-worn leather released my body from its warm embrace. ‘I’m a shadow, and that’s what shadows do. We protect our masters, no matter the odds. Your title is safe.’
Riordan stood as well, placing his hand on my shoulder. ‘Then, as a shadow, promise me you’ll be careful and don’t rush into anything unprepared.’
‘I won’t. Give me a couple of days, maybe a week.
The situation in the Brotherhood is precarious right now, and I have to sort a few things and arrange an escort,’ I said, heading towards the door.
As I reached the threshold, I paused, my head low, because there was another possibility with this journey… the one where I failed.
‘Anything else, Roksana?’ Riordan picked up on my hesitation.
I turned slowly, biting my lip. ‘One last thing. If I don’t return… tell Rey that I love him and that I have no regrets.’
‘For fuck’s sake, Roksana!’ His voice chased me down the corridors, but I didn’t have the courage to look back.