Chapter 22
Roksana
Amap and the castle’s blueprints arrived before midnight. They sat wrapped in waxed paper by my door, slowly disappearing under the snow. I would have missed the package if my home’s protection spell hadn’t alerted me to a stranger at the door.
The warm kitchen air greeted me like a kiss from a lover, the embers in the fireplace still glowing, despite the time. I didn’t bother turning on the light. The weak winter moon was hidden behind the clouds, but the warm glow of the fire was enough.
I missed Rey. I missed him so much it hurt deep inside.
I wanted him to lock me in his arms and help me forget today ever happened.
I added fuel to the fire and stoked it roughly, blinking away the tears threatening to crack my tough facade.
It was dangerous to let someone this close, for their absence to hurt like a hole in the heart.
I’d become reckless, wanting to make the world a better place for them.
‘I hope you’re looking after yourself, kingling. You aren’t allowed to get hurt.’ I turned away from the fire, pretending I didn’t see the mess my house had become since Tova left. Another soul that held a place in my heart torn from my side by this damned war.
Still, his presence was palpable. His schemata and calculations occupied most of the kitchen table, as if his absence were an illusion, and he’d locked himself in his workshop rather than trudging through the snow to Wiosna.
I wish we could talk. I pictured him sitting by the table, his mop of sleep-ruffled hair and righteous indignation plastered all over his face. He was a pain in the backside, but would always be the brother of my heart.
‘Just awesome. Two of my favourite men are balls-deep in the snow, and the third is angry because I saved an arsehole. Well done, Sana. Really, well done.’ I smiled, picturing Rey crammed into a tent or a peasant inn, his back hunched over military reports as he tried to keep his composure when Tova insisted on telling him about his newest discovery or invention.
‘If those two don’t kill each other, they’ll become the best of friends.’ I sighed, wiping water off Tymon’s package and opening it carefully.
I didn’t expect an easy journey, but seeing that the road passed so close to Piran’s Swamp sent a chill down my spine. Towns were spaced far apart, meaning I’d need to camp out during the height of winter.
‘Gods, packing will be a nightmare,’ I muttered, wondering if I should send a message to Irsha or tell him when he arrived in the morning.
Morning, I decided, too tired to write a letter.
My eyelids were too heavy when I ambled upstairs.
At least there won’t be nightmares this time.
Since Rey’s last visit, I’d noticed some changes.
My hand didn’t tremble, my heart wasn’t racing, and the dark no longer felt like a void threatening to consume me, almost as if taking firm reins on my life had fixed the part of me that Tova’s capture and the geas trial had broken.
This, and the look on Yaran’s face when he saw my porcelain mask decorated with nightshade flowers. Was it strange that the fear on my enemy’s face lulled me to sleep?
Irsha didn’t turn up that morning,
I waited for several hours, then marched into the Brotherhood, intending to give him a few choice words, but he wasn’t there either.
That left only one other option. I almost grinned when I thought of how I would berate him for oversleeping, especially since he’d been so insistent on coming with me.
Any thoughts of mischief evaporated when I arrived at the House of Lillies.
My steps faltered, and I paused, observing the situation, unsure of what I was seeing.
The doors, normally closed and guarded, stood ajar, one side hanging crookedly from the hinges, with a massive Brotherhood assassin blocking the entrance.
My fists tightened as I approached, stepping over the bloodstained snow on the street.
‘What happened?’ I asked, coming closer, and he inclined his head.
‘The madam was attacked. Our veterans fought off those attempting to take her. Now they’re licking their wounds, while we guard the place. That’s all I know.’ He paused, looking at me before shifting slightly. ‘The Blade’s master is inside if you want to know more.’
‘Fucking right I do,’ I said, heart in my throat as I stormed inside.
The destruction I saw on the outside didn’t match the calm, undisturbed interior.
The main hall was as it always had been, with its tables, dance floor, and stage intact.
There was no evidence of blood or destruction.
‘Lilliana?’ I asked, spotting a serving girl.
‘With the assassin and healer upstairs.’
I bolted. My boots skidded over the polished floor when I ran, taking the stairs two at a time.
Lily’s bedroom was cramped, housing a shirtless Irsha and a healer who, with painstaking precision, sutured a wound on his shoulder.
Sweat beaded on my friend’s forehead, but he otherwise looked relaxed, entertaining a pale Lily with polite conversation.
I leaned on the door frame, panting from the run, and Irsha’s head snapped in my direction. ‘No nivale powder?’ I asked, scrutinising the healer’s work, but Irsha shook his head.
‘I refused,’ he said, grimacing only slightly when the needle once again pierced his skin.
‘You expect them to return?’ The only explanation for this slow torture was Irsha’s reluctance to take anything that would hinder him in a fight.
‘Crossed my mind; they were quite determined,’ he said. Lily paled even more, her hand tightening on Irsha’s forearm, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly. He instantly covered it with his own despite the healer hissing at him to stop moving.
‘Who was it?’ I asked when the healer finished his work.
‘Some Light Fae soldiers. Fuckers thought they could dress as mercenaries and snatch Lily off the street,’ he said with a shrug, putting his shirt back on. ‘I came to say goodbye. The first one caught me unawares, but the second died screaming. I was distracted.’
I nodded before my gaze shifted to Lily. She seemed smaller, her posture hunched over as she sat shoulder to shoulder beside Irsha. I raised an eyebrow, tilting my head ever so slightly, but she shook her head, stubborn as always.
Irsha observed our silent communication, eyes narrowed.
When we finished, he grasped Lily’s chin, tilting it up to his face.
‘Whatever you’re hiding, I’ll take care of it, but I need to know what I’m facing.
’ When her eyes filled with tears, his expression hardened.
‘Just tell me. I almost lost my mind seeing that bastard dragging you into the carriage.’
‘I’m married, and my husband came to reclaim his wife,’ she said, pulling away from him, chin raised in defiance.
Irsha let her go. He sat there, mouth agape as the colour drained from his olive skin.
I held my breath. My Blade never lost control, but seeing his fists clenching the bed sheet, my heart broke for him.
Lily’s body turned rigid, a red blush covering her cheeks as she stared back at him, neither explaining nor apologising.
Her eyes grew colder, more distant, with each heartbeat.
The Ice Queen had returned, hiding her emotions from a world that had hurt her deeply enough already.
‘Irsha…’ I said. He raised a finger without even looking at me, his attention fully focused on Lily.
‘Lilliana Ordon, you are not married, and no man will claim, or reclaim anything from you ever again,’ he said.
Lily looked at me, but I shrugged, not knowing what to say.
His words made little sense. Worse, his brown eyes gained a wild gleam, narrowing when he’d ripped the satin sheets with his bare hands.
‘My marriage contract won’t disappear just because you say so,’ Lily said, her voice rising when Irsha smirked.
‘Oh yes, it will.’ His voice was as menacing as a winter storm, the hand grasping her chin trembling gently.
‘Hear me well, Lilliana. You are not married. The woman I know wouldn’t run away from the husband she loved.
You might have been sold off like bloody cattle, but this can be easily fixed. Just give me his name.’
I rubbed my forehead, exhaling quietly, torn between duty to my friend and to the kingdom. I would sleep better if Nirsen, her husband, were no longer walking the earth, but that would mean going against the court of Lumivitae, and Reynard needed allies.
‘You’re not killing anyone in my name,’ Lily said.
‘Lilliana, he sent soldiers to kidnap you. Why are you protecting him?’ Irsha cupped her face in his massive hands. ‘I can’t see you hurt. Lily, let me fix it. Please?’
Her eyes searched his face, looking for something, before a small smile spread over her lips. She placed her hand on his, slightly tilting her head before she kissed the inside of his palm. I turned around, counting the threads on the tapestry, giving them space in their private moment.
‘You don’t care that I’m married?’ Lily’s voice was small but so full of hope.
Irsha wrapped his hand around her waist, pressing her to his side.
‘You’re in my arms, and in my heart, that’s all that counts.
Why would I care about some coward too scared to face you himself?
’ His voice, gentle and warm, did nothing to conceal the anger as his finger traced the bruise on Lily’s skin.
She relaxed within his coiled rage. ‘Say the word, mi?a. Allow me to make you a widow.’
Mi?a. Irsha’s heart finally found the right word to declare his feelings. Once, when we were young, he’d thought he loved me and called me that, explaining how his mother taught him the word and its meaning – the name for the one your heart chooses above all else.
Fucking finally, I thought, biting my lip, happy for them both despite the complicated situation.