15. Willow
Iwas Mrs. Royce Ashford.
The brighter the sun shone, the lighter my heart felt. The day started with bruises and a harsh reality check, and ended with a kiss full of promises.
“My little girl is all grown up.” My mother’s damp cheeks and glistening eyes found me, and her five-foot-nothing frame pulled me and Royce into a hug. “Now you’re ours forever. Welcome to the family, Royce.”
“Thank you, Mrs.—”
“You can call me by my first name, or M?e. No more Mrs. Auclair.”
“As you wish, M?e.”
My mother lit up like a hundred-watt bulb, and I couldn’t resist a nervous chuckle. She seemed so happy, so proud, and I worried how she would feel if she knew this arrangement was born purely out of convenience.
Royce stepped in front of me, draped in jeans and leather, and my gaze lifted to his. The dread of the past few weeks faded into the vision of a hopeful future, one filled with peace if not intimacy. We stood in the large courtyard in front of the church while nerves ran through me, but nothing had ever felt as right as this moment.
When I was crushing on him in my high school years, I always imagined myself with a big family and Royce by my side. I never really thought it would end—or start—like this. Yet, it felt right. My baby and I would be safe and loved by Royce. It might not be a marriage like my parents’, but it would be a good marriage. Royce and I got along, and I’d seen firsthand how protective he was of Aurora when we were kids. He’d be a good father—stepfather—to my baby.
“What if you regret this come tomorrow?”
He slipped his hands into mine, entwining our fingers while his gaze ignited with a spark of humor. “Then I’ll have to ensure tomorrow never comes.”
I bit my cheek to hold in a smile and gave my head a small shake.
“You’re crazy.”
He let out a laugh. “Yeah, crazy about you.”
My entire body froze. Euphoria kicked my heart palpitations into overdrive, right along with the butterflies that fluttered wildly in the pit of my belly.
“Platonic?” I breathed my confusion, my voice barely audible. His heavy gaze met mine, and it grew more intense.
He stared at me, and with all humor gone from his words, he said, “It’s overrated.” With those two words, he all but dismissed our loose agreement.
I fidgeted with my ring, my mind racing at what it could mean. “It is,” I heard myself say over the gentle breeze, his crazy about you comment ringing in my ears.
Royce’s gaze flickered with amusement. “Your mom wants us all at her place, and then you and I will disappear for a bit. Go off-grid.”
I swallowed, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. The blissful thought of getting away with him warred with the foreboding creeping through my gut—the fear that Stuart would eventually have a claim on my child.
“How are you feeling?” Aurora asked, watching me with a keen eye over her champagne glass.
“Fine.” I flashed an awkward smile as I took a sip of my sparkling water.
We were back at my parents’ place for the wedding reception they’d thrown together. It was impressive what my mother managed to do in such a short time, and although it wasn’t anything fancy, it was tasteful and elegant. Stuart’s family had been in charge of my intended wedding reception, and standing here now, surrounded by people who wanted the best for me, I couldn’t be more pleased with the way things had played out.
The house smelled like wintergreen, citrus, and homemade baked goods. Aurora, Sailor, and I sat in the den overlooking the old city street that brimmed with tourists.
“Why didn’t you tell us about Stuart?” Sailor breathed, reaching out to brush my hair behind my ear. I wasn’t surprised they were bombarding me with questions. They’d insisted on covering up my bruises before taking pictures earlier, and I could almost smell the iron in the air from how hard they were biting their tongues.
Aurora blew out a sigh. “We could have helped you.”
I absentmindedly rubbed a hand over my belly while a knot of emotion formed in my throat. I’d struck gold when life threw Aurora and Sailor in my path. They were family, and we’d seen each other through the highest of highs and lowest of lows.
“I’m sorry. It just felt like it was a problem I needed to deal with on my own, and for some reason, I ignored the signs until yesterday when I sat him down and told him I couldn’t go through with the wedding.”
“Is that when he…” Sailor trailed off, her eyes locked on my bruises.
“Yes.”
“You could have come to Alexei and me. We would have helped you. You’re my best friend.”
“You’ve been our rock all these years,” Sailor said dryly. “The least we could’ve done is help you.”
Despite the unflappable demeanor Sailor usually portrayed, she had been to hell and back—witnessing her sister’s abuse, raising her nephew, and getting caught up in cartel business. The last thing she needed was my petty drama.
“I didn’t think it’d turn out this way,” I admitted.
“Come on,” Sailor scolded. “If we’ve learned one thing through Anya, it’s to trust our instincts. Especially if the person you’re supposed to trust is manipulating you to think you’re helpless. Stuart obviously knew exactly what he was doing if you ignored your gut.”
She was right. We witnessed Anya’s abuse firsthand, and it took her tragic death for her to find peace. I still remembered it as if it was yesterday.
The hospital floor of the maternity ward smelled of bleach and… death. I could feel its cold fingers on my nape and I had to shake off the insidious feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Maybe it had more to do with Royce’s rejection than with this hospital. None of that even mattered anymore though—not with what I was about to face.
“May I help you?” A young doctor with the clearest blue eyes and most vibrant red hair I’d ever seen had stopped in front of us. She looked at us carefully—Royce on one side of me, Aurora and Byron on the other. “This is the maternity ward, and none of you look ready to have a baby.”
Royce was quick to flash his smile, and jealousy sank its teeth into me, but I quickly shoved the ugly feeling away. “We’re visiting a friend.”
“Dr. Sophie, good evening,” Byron said, cutting Royce off with an eye roll.
Royce’s brows furrowed as he asked, “Who do you not know, Byron?”
“Her name tag,” he murmured with a glare. Byron was clearly annoyed, and I liked him just a tad bit more because of it. “And she’s Kristoff’s cousin.” Royce opened his mouth but then must have decided against whatever he was going to say. “We’re here to visit baby McHale, Doctor,” Byron added.
Aurora and I nodded our heads. “Anya and Sailor McHale.”
A feeling that looked like pity passed her expression, but she quickly recovered.
“Are you family?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Maybe.”
Three different answers bombarded the doctor, and she sighed. “I’ll go with your first answer. For your friends’ sake.” A bad omen danced in the air, and I held my breath. “The mother has passed.” Shock struck and gasps echoed. “Her sister is with the baby, but she’s pretty shook up. She’ll need all your support to get through this.”
“How?” I croaked.
“How could this happen?” Aurora added, her voice cracking just like my heart. I took her hand, squeezing it to comfort us both.
“We’ll explain everything shortly, but the mother had underlying health problems and—” I couldn’t process anything else, my concern for my best friend and her baby nephew taking center stage.
“Can we go…” The lump in my throat grew, and I cleared my throat to force the words out. “Can we see them, please?”
“Follow me, McHale family.”
We didn’t correct her as we trailed behind her in shock. I was trying to reconcile the image I’d had of this special day with what we were about to find at the end of this sterile hallway. Anya’s room should’ve been overflowing with cheer and happiness, not death. Sailor sat on the couch with a tiny baby cradled in her arms.
We pushed through room 38D and rushed over to Sailor’s side, wrapping her and her nephew into our arms.
“I can’t go back home.” Sailor’s voice shook, her expression full of anguish. “I—I promised.”
She promised her sister she’d take care of the baby, but not under the roof of the very same man who abused her.
Royce came over and cradled the baby’s head ever so gently with his big hand. My own heart cracked, and I was filled with love for him.
“Don’t worry, blondie.” It was what he always called Sailor thanks to her platinum-blonde hair. “Byron can move mountains. We got this. You don’t have to go home.”
And he stood by that promise. From that day on, Royce and his brothers had her back. Hers and baby Gabriel’s.
I sighed as the memory washed over me. The truth was, maybe it was exactly that reason Royce’s address came to mind in that taxi last night.
“Royce to the rescue once again,” Sailor stated matter-of-factly, as though she’d been right there with me in that memory, but the softness in her eyes didn’t escape me. She’d kill for us, just as we would for her.
“Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” Aurora asked.
I nodded.
“I’ve got this under control. Royce and I…” Have struck a deal. “We got this.”
“How come you never said anything about Royce?” Sailor questioned, then threw a quick glance over her shoulder before continuing. “I’m not mad or anything, I just didn’t think we kept secrets from each other.”
Ever since high school, we’d been thick as thieves, but many things had changed since then. Aurora married a Russian mobster, Sailor found herself a Colombian one, so like it or not, secrets were part of their world.
“I didn’t keep too many,” I said, staring at my water.
“Aside from losing your job,” Sailor pointed out.
I frowned. “How did you know?”
She shrugged. “Raphael.”
I frowned. “Why is he keeping tabs on me?”
She waved her hand. “He keeps tabs on everyone close to us. It comes with the territory.”
“Tell him to stop.” I glanced over to where the men stood around, drinking whiskey.
Aurora scoffed.
“I think that ship has sailed. Do you know these men at all? And don’t think for a second Royce is any different.”
I opened my mouth to argue but then closed it. She was right. Every single one of Aurora’s brothers was overbearing and overprotective. I knew my friends’ husbands were no different.
“So how about a toast?” Sailor suggested, sliding a fresh glass of champagne to me and Aurora. I eyed it debating whether I should pretend to sip on it or not even bother. I decided for the latter.
“Since when do you turn champagne down?” Aurora challenged, causing me to flush crimson under her attention.
Sailor shot to her feet. “Hold on, I know what you want.”
She bolted toward the bar my parents set up while Aurora leaned forward, her eyes locked on me.
“You’re knocked up.” Her gaze fell to my abdomen, almost as if she was wearing X-ray glasses and could see through me. “Aren’t you, Willow?”
On the way over from the church, Royce and I agreed we’d keep the pregnancy a secret for a while longer, and though it made sense, it was so damn hard. If there was one thing I knew for certain, it was that my friends didn’t judge me. In this case, I was my own worst enemy.
“Don’t say anything.” The past twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind, but I didn’t want to start my new life on lies. “It’s just that…” I faltered.
“What?” Sailor returned, glancing between us, clearly picking up on the tension in the air. “What’s going on?”
Aurora sighed. “It’s Willow’s story to tell, so I won’t push.” She leaned back in her seat, taking another sip of champagne. “Although, if it’s true, it would be great timing considering Sailor is knocked up and Alexei and I are trying for another baby.”
“What?” Sailor’s squeal nearly pierced my ears.
I shot Aurora a disapproving look.
“That wasn’t subtle at all,” I remarked wryly.
She grinned unapologetically, shrugging her shoulders. “Just saying…”
Sailor popped one of my m?e’s homemade cookies into her mouth and moaned. “God, these are almost as good as sex.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s sad.”
“Oh, don’t worry, sex with Raphael is excellent. He’s insatiable—which is why I need to replenish my energy.” She grinned around a mouthful of cookie.
Aurora sighed. “It would be so nice if the three of us could have babies around the same time. I’d love for our kids to grow up together.”
Guilt niggled at me as I traced patterns on the table. Would she feel the same if she knew that the baby wasn’t Royce’s? My skin heated. I really messed this up. The worst part was that I had no fucking idea how. I always used protection.
I met my best friends’ attentive gazes. It was almost as if they knew I was keeping a secret.
“I have something to tell you both,” I grumbled. “But you cannot tell my parents. Not yet anyhow.”
This was humiliating. I felt like I’d done everything wrong.
As if one unit, Aurora and Sailor leaned in.
“The baby is Stuart’s.” There. I blurted it out and there was no retracting it. No more lying.
They stared at me blankly, and I waited for their questions to come pouring in. It didn’t take long.
“Are you kidding me?” Aurora hissed. “You were sleeping with both Stuart and Royce, and now you’re pretending the baby is my brother’s?”
I stiffened, my anger flaring instantly and burning my cheeks.
“What the fuck do you take me for?” I snapped, offended that she’d think so little of me. “The only thing I’ve done with Royce is kiss him once, ten years ago. And today, if you count the wedding ceremony.”
When spoken out loud, it sounded stupid. Reckless. A recipe for divorce.
“You guys got married and haven’t even tested the sex?” Sailor echoed my own worries. “What if you have zero chemistry?”
“Impossible,” I muttered under my breath. There was enough chemistry between us to light up a metropolitan city.
The heat from their concerned gazes touched my skin, but I refused to let their doubt take hold of me. I trusted Royce with my life, more than any other man on this planet.
“Royce never did things the normal way.” Aurora sighed, obviously exasperated and trying to wrap her head around my revelation. “So are you telling me Royce knows you’re pregnant? If you haven’t had sex… which, by the way, ew… he’ll figure out that the baby isn’t his.”
I blushed.
“He knows.” This whole conversation was pointless, and I started to regret not sticking to the plan Royce and I had devised. “I don’t know why he insisted we get married. But I trust him, and the idea seemed right at the time… It’s been a long day, you guys.” I rubbed at the spot on my ribs that Stuart kicked, wincing slightly.
“But surely you regret not testing his bedroom skills first?” Sailor whisper-shrieked. “All I’m saying is,” she went on as Aurora wrinkled her button nose, “you have to test the car before you buy it.”
I snorted. “I’m not worried at all. If his kissing is anything to go by, I might die before ever getting to the main course.”
And anyway, there was this teeny-tiny celibacy detail we’d agreed on, even though I wasn’t sure exactly where we stood on that anymore. Things were changing by the minute.
“I don’t want to think about you and my brother having sex.” Aurora fake gagged while Sailor burst into laughter. “It’s probably the best thing for our friendship.”
I tilted my head, my waves cascading over my shoulder. Sometimes it was hard to gauge whether Aurora was upset or not. She had a good poker face, which I knew to be the result of her FBI training.
“I’m sorry if this upsets you and things didn’t exactly end up as planned, but as long as Royce is good with this”—whatever this was—“then it’s really nobody else’s business.”
Surprise flared on Aurora’s face at my statement. “Judgment, however fleeting it was, is hereby retracted.”
“And you’re right,” Sailor added softly. “Anything that happens between you and Royce is your business. But we’re here for you, always.”
My throat squeezed, making me teary-eyed, and we hugged tightly.
“We’ll always be here for each other,” Aurora vowed.
“No matter what,” Sailor echoed.