Chapter 1 - Mike
I turn over in bed, grumble to myself, fluff the pillow up for the hundredth time, and in a fit of anger throw it across the room. I’ve been in bed for eight hours and have slept for forty minutes at the most. It’s time to admit that I’m not getting more sleep.
It’s not like I don’t realize what’s got my head whirring, it’s more that I haven’t been able to let myself believe it.
Last week I asked Willow to move in with me. I knew it was a big step for us and I understood it might’ve been too early to suggest it. I weighed up the pros and cons in my head and thought that the good far outweighed any bad side.
So I was surprised when she said no.
Actually, she didn’t say no, she stayed quiet.
It didn’t help that right at that moment her damn mother phoned her and she had to answer.
By the time she sorted that out, I could see on her face what the answer was.
So I told her it was okay, there was plenty of time for us to discuss it in the future. When I said it, I really meant it.
That was how we left things, but in the last few days it’s been really eating at me.
I can totally understand her saying no. I’m nearly twice her age.
We come from different backgrounds, and we’ve known each other for less than six months.
But I thought that although things were going fast, we were still in sync with each other over our needs and wants.
So yeah, she had every reason to say no, but it was her lack of response that really got to me.
And the thing is, I’m not sure she even considered it. She just froze.
Was it such a shock to her that I asked her to move in? She must have known it was at least a possibility. Especially with me making it clear that I didn’t like the neighborhood she lives in.
I get up out of bed and head to the shower.
For a few moments, the hot water takes away my thoughts, but as I head to the kitchen, the nagging doubts return.
Am I too controlling? After all, as a Dom that’s my whole thing.
Maybe she wants more freedom in her life and moving in with me would take that away.
She put up with her mother being controlling all these years; is it so far-fetched that she sees moving in with me as swapping one control freak for another?
As I open the fridge, a wave of depression hits me. This is exactly why I didn’t want a girlfriend. No-strings-attached fun was always my thing.
Fuck.
But I love Willow, so we have to work this out. We’re dating now and this is what people do, they talk about problems and fix things.
As I make breakfast, I think things through.
There’s no use dwelling on this. I need to have a conversation with Willow.
We are both adults and this is something we can talk about.
I don’t need her to say yes, but I would like to hear her reasons so we can work through whatever it is.
Hopefully, we can find a way past it for the future.
I’m not going to let this come between us. She’s the best thing to happen to me in a long time and I’m not giving her up without a fight—even if that fight is between me and my brain.
It’s still early so I don’t know if Willow is awake yet. I’ll leave it until later in the day. A few more hours won’t make any difference and I can work out exactly what I’m going to say to her.
My phone buzzes and I glance at it. It’s a text from Willow.
Willow:
Hey old man, you awake? I had a filthy dream about you.
Despite my inner turmoil, my cock perks up at the thought of her dreaming about me. I give it a squeeze through my boxers before replying.
Mike:
Oh yeah?
Willow:
I’ll tell you about it later and we can reenact it.
She sends an emoji of a face sticking out its tongue.
Mike:
Sounds good to me.
I should leave it at that, but my fingers don’t agree and without really thinking about it, I send her another message.
Mike:
Have you got a moment?
Willow:
Yep, what’s up? You sound serious.
I breathe in deeply, hold it, and let it out.
Okay, let’s do this.
Mike:
I was wondering, and don’t worry I’m not mad or anything. I’m just wondering why you didn’t want to move in with me. Was it anything in particular or is it just too soon?
I hit the send button and wait for her reply.