Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
KIRILL
The booth creaks as I sit, Lev sliding in beside me, while Sloane stands there, ready to take our order.
But all I can think about is the way my son reached for her hand. What it meant. And the way hers felt in mine.
I want it back.
Glancing over at Lev, I don’t miss the way his eyes are still on her.
His shoulders are loose, his posture relaxed.
He’s at ease in a way I rarely see. That’s how he always is around her.
He’s never bonded like this with anyone, not even his teachers.
It’s something I used to wish for and something I stopped expecting.
But Sloane somehow became a bright light in his world. Someone safe.
I could offer her the nanny job and see if she would take it. The idea is so perfect, it’s almost cruel.
Which is exactly why it’s so dangerous. Because I know what will happen if I do.
If I see her every day, if she’s in my home—close enough to touch, to taste—I won’t be able to stop myself. I know it.
She’s not just a temptation. She’s the kind of temptation that ruins a man.
The need that rises in me isn’t polite or patient. It’s like a pull that wants to drag her across the table and onto my lap. To see her gasp when I take her mouth, that sweet cunt I’ve been imagining since the first time her cheeks flushed when I looked at her.
And that’s the problem. I can’t do any of that. I can’t get close.
If I do and Lev loses her like he lost his mother, he won’t survive it. Neither will I.
Lev glances at her, then drops his gaze to his hands, turning them over like he’s still replaying the moment her palm touched his. The choice he made when he reached for her.
My chest cinches all over again. But no matter how hard I try to concentrate on Lev and everything that moment meant, my mind pulls me somewhere else.
To her. To the way she smiled at Whitlock when I walked in and saw them talking, that small curve of her mouth like he’d done something to earn it. Like she was his instead of mine.
Something in me snapped. If Jace had so much as touched her, I would’ve killed him.
In fact, I pictured a hundred different ways I could dismember him, all while he stood there staring at me like he was some kind of threat I should fear. It’s almost laughable.
But I try to be a better man in front of my son. He deserves that.
Still, I can’t stop thinking about why Jace is even here. If he’s in Jersey, something’s in motion. He’s second-in-command in that family, so if he made the trip, it’s for a good reason.
Konstantin was onto something. They’re planning to take over our business, and doing it right under our nose. I can only assume they’re preparing to meet potential buyers. Their ranch here is where they usually do that.
It’s too bad we’re going to have to stop it.
Sloane clears her throat, forcing my focus back to her. I hate that I let that yebani blyat pull me away from her for even a moment.
“Should I get you guys your usual orders?” she asks.
Her lashes flutter and her cheeks flush when I stare at her. But I can’t help myself. She’s so beautiful and innocent, it kills me that I can’t have her. That I even want her to begin with.
But I will not ruin something so perfect.
She deserves a proper fresh start, a life away from crime.
It’s best for me to stay away and help her from a distance.
Her little crush on me will fade soon enough.
But my infatuation with her, this pull I can’t seem to shake, it’ll stay right where it belongs: out of reach.
“Please,” I tell her, and she nods and hurries off.
Lev’s eyes stay on her, tracking her like he can’t let her out of his sight yet, and something tightens in my chest.
He’s still worried about her. He keeps so much inside, and most of the time I’m left guessing.
Sloane returns with our drinks, setting them down carefully and making sure the straw in Lev’s is exactly where he likes it. To see her care for him too, to notice these little things, it means more than she realizes.
She remains a second longer, her fingers brushing the edge of the table, eyes flicking between Lev and me.
“I didn’t expect you guys today,” she finally says.
My hand tightens at my thigh. She notices that too.
“He wanted to make sure you were okay.” My palm settles on Lev’s knee. “He was worried about you after the other day.”
Her hand flies to her chest. “Oh my God.” Her eyes soften as she looks at him. “I just love you, Lev. I hope you know that. Thank you for thinking about me. That means so much, but I’m okay, I promise. Especially now that I’ve seen you.”
Lev gives her a tiny smile, shy and proud at the same time. His fingers close around the headphones resting against his collarbone while his gaze drops to the salt and pepper shakers and he starts lining them up until they’re just right.
“I’m so sorry,” she says to me, words tumbling out.
“I-I meant to thank you for the phone and then…well, you and Jace happened and it completely slipped my mind.” She lets out a small, breathless laugh.
“You didn’t need to do that. It was really kind.
I don’t even know why you did it, but…thank you. ”
The color creeping into her face does something lethal to me.
When she gets flustered, unsure where to put her hands or her eyes, my mind takes that softness and drags it somewhere it has no right going.
I imagine how flushed she’d be beneath me as my cock eases inside her until her composure cracks and she comes apart for me.
Why the hell am I doing this to myself? The plan is to stop thinking about her like that, not give these thoughts more life every time they surface.
But I can’t stop. The more I fight it, the stronger it gets until it’s all too real. Because no matter what I tell myself, she’s the first woman I haven’t been able to stop thinking about, and I hate myself for it.
“You don’t have to thank me for taking care of you, Sloane. Consider me a friend now.”
Yes. Friends. That’s right. Very platonic friends…
“Thank you…friend…” Then that shy little smile appears, and I’m a goner. My damn pulse won’t stop beating harder, like I’m a sixteen-year-old boy all over again.
Chto ty so mnoy delayesh? What are you doing to me?
She bites the corner of her lip, and my teeth grind. I want to be the one to do that. To pin her to the wall, my hand curling around her throat while the other has its way with her, touching her until she’s moaning my name.
Hell, this obsession has got to stop. I should tell her to go check if our food is done, but I just don’t want her to go.
She turns to leave, and my chest pulls at the thought of it, like the second she steps away I’ll feel it.
“Sit with us for a minute,” I say before I think better of it.
She pauses. “Oh, I don’t know. I still have a couple tables.”
“They’ll wait.”
The edge in my voice surprises both of us. It’s not sharp, but it isn’t a suggestion either. She hesitates just long enough for Lev to reach out, asking her for the same thing, his small fingers curling around her hand, tugging gently but insistently.
She looks down at him, eyes softening. “You want me to sit with you?”
He nods.
Emotion flashes across her face so deeply, I feel it everywhere.
She slides into the booth beside him, and Lev pulls in closer and leans into her arm, testing first, then settling his head against her.
She freezes for half a second, her eyes widening at me.
But I can’t move. I just watch them, something thick lodged in my throat.
Her arm wraps around him as she lowers her head so her temple rests against the top of his, and he looks like he could stay that way forever, his eyes drifting closed.
Every part of me reacts to the sight, even while it kills me. Because she isn’t his mother. She’s just the woman who serves us food, and the more he lets himself attach to her, the worse it will be if she ever walks away.
I can’t let him get hurt. Which means I won’t let her leave. Not at any cost.
Her hand brushes my thigh as she shifts—barely a touch, but it hits like a live wire, sinking straight into my bones until it’s the only thing I can feel. The only thing I want.
She inhales sharply, eyes lifting to meet mine, lips parting like she’s just remembered how to breathe. Her gaze drops to my mouth, and she bites the inside of her cheek like she’s picturing the same thing I am.
The urge to kiss her hits harder, right here in this booth with my son between us, and the sheer wrongness of it does nothing to dull the need. Images of me fucking her still flood my mind.
Her fingers start to pull away, like she’s trying to avoid touching me again, but I catch her wrist before she can go anywhere and bring it to my mouth.
I press my lips to the top of her hand like a man starved for something he knows he shouldn’t want, but taking it anyway.
Her eyes flare, a bright, unmistakable flicker passing through them before she goes still, her chest rising higher as I hold the kiss a beat longer than I should.
When I pull back, my fingers trace circles across her hand. The fine hairs on her arm lift beneath my touch, her breathing turning shallow, every inch of her body reacting like she’s barely holding herself together.
Lev stays tucked against her, completely unaware, while I sit here with her hand in mine like it’s mine to hold. Knowing damn well I shouldn’t have crossed this line.
And I’m already wondering how the hell I’m supposed to step back now that I’ve touched her at all.
SLOANE
His hand stays wrapped around mine, like letting go isn’t even an option. And the worst part is how quickly my body accepts it, how easily it sinks into that touch like it’s been waiting for him all along.
A low hum moves through me, every cell lighting up in response. And all I can think about is how much I don’t want him to stop touching me.
Kirill looks at me like he’s starving, like he’s one breath away from losing whatever control he has left.
Heat rushes to my face, and I have to fight the urge to pull my hand back.
Because the way his thumb moves against my skin makes my stomach twist and my thighs tense, and none of it should be happening.
Get it together. Your life is too complicated to get involved with anyone right now, even if he wanted you.
“How do you know Jace?” Kirill’s question cuts through the haze of my thoughts, his body rigid.
“I don’t,” I say quickly. “Not really. Mandy works at Blackthorn Ridge on the weekends and she mentioned they might need help. I just…I need extra money, and they happen to have a Friday shift available.”
He works his jaw as I go on, eyes searing into me.
“Jace told me to stop by on Sunday and talk to his sister, Greer. I don’t know if you know her, but—”
“I do.”
His tension spikes instantly. I feel it in the way his hand stills, in the way his jaw tightens just enough to notice, and it sends a ripple of unease through me.
His eyes stay on me for a little longer, and the silence stretches until it starts to turn heavy. Whatever’s going on between those two, I don’t think I want to know.
Lev leans closer, his shoulder pressing into my side, and I instinctively curl toward him, remembering each time Milo would curl into me like that. The agony of missing him slams into me so hard, tears gather in my eyes. Kirill must notice, because his thumb brushes across my hand.
And all I want is to get lost in him, lost in all the feelings he brings out in me without even knowing it.