Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
KIRILL
I lied. Lev wasn’t the one who wanted to come to the ranch and see her. I was.
When I didn’t find her at the office and was told Greer drove her up here, I thought it would just be the two of them. Instead, I was met with Jace.
He touched her. Had his hands on her.
On my Sloane.
My fingers twitch on my holster. Blyat, the temptation to shoot him is still strong, the image of his hand on her hip burned into my retinas.
Staying away from her is working very well, it appears.
But I’m not letting anyone else have her, especially not a Whitlock. The thought of her with another man…I’d kill him.
Jace steps forward and offers Lev a hand. “Nice to meet you, kid.”
Lev studies it, then shifts closer to Sloane, pressing in until his shoulder touches her hip while peering up at me for silent guidance.
“He is autistic,” I explain. “He is shy around new people.”
Every time I have to tell someone about his diagnosis, I hate it, because all I see after is pity.
“Got it.” Jace smiles like it’s no big deal. “Well, it's very nice to meet you.”
“We have a whole petting zoo here,” Thora chimes in. “If he wants to look around…”
“Thank you,” I tell her.
But Lev only tucks himself into Sloane. My hand closes around his shoulder in a small squeeze.
Rue bounces over to her father with dirt on her jeans, then tilts her head up at him and asks, “What’s autistic, Daddy?”
He opens his mouth, then closes it again, like he’s suddenly afraid of getting it wrong. If this wasn’t about Lev, I wouldn’t give a shit. But I want to make sure she understands.
“It is when someone’s brain works a bit differently and something Lev was born with.
” I keep my arm on Lev’s shoulder in reassurance, hating to talk about him like he isn’t here, while trying to come up with something age-appropriate.
“For him, loud noises can be too much, so that’s why he brings his headphones out.
He also likes having a good routine. When he meets new people, he can be a bit shy and nervous.
He also doesn’t talk a lot, but he understands everything. ”
Rue considers that for half a heartbeat, then shrugs like it’s simple.
Don’t I wish?
“My daddy says I talk way too much.” She giggles and turns her attention to Lev. “I like your headphones. I have pink ones like those.”
Lev’s hand lifts to the band across them, his fingertips tracing it while his eyes stay on her face, and everything in me goes rigid when I feel his hold on me begin to ease. His breathing turns heavier, and I watch him push through whatever wall usually keeps him from people.
“What grade are you in?” she asks. “I’m in first. Do you like school?”
She doesn’t wait for him to answer, just keeps going while he gapes at her like he can’t quite believe she’s real.
“I think recess is fun. Also reading, but the rest of it is booooring.”
She laughs again, and he takes a step toward her, still holding on to me. I let him, barely able to believe it. He never warms up to anyone this fast.
Then, little by little, his fingers begin to slip from Sloane’s. I go perfectly still, afraid one wrong move will make him pull back. When he lets go completely, he takes a few careful steps toward Rue.
“F-f-fourth,” he tells her, and my lungs seize so hard it hurts, as though someone cracked my ribs open with their bare hands.
“Wow, you’re big.” Rue beams up at him. “Do you like horses? This is my horse, Snickers. Wanna pet him? He’s really nice and won’t hurt you. He loooves kids. Come on, you can meet him.”
When she grabs his hand without asking, I almost stop her, but he lets her—just like that—and walks over to the horse with her.
A minute later, he smiles at something she says about Snickers, and I swear Rue has to be using some kind of magic.
Sloane is beside me before I realize she moved, close enough that her warmth reaches me. When she grabs my forearm and grins, I almost have to wonder how the hell this day went from being hell to perfect in an instant.
“I think he’s got a friend now.”
Of course it had to be a Whitlock.
She keeps looking at Lev as she says it, and there’s something in her tone that hits too deep, like she knows what this means to me. To him.
Bozhe moy. My God. This woman is special.
Ona tvoya. She’s yours.
But it’s selfish to want her the way I do.
I wind my arm around her and pull her in, ignoring the Whitlocks watching, ignoring her friend’s shock. None of it matters—not with her this close, not with my son smiling at another kid and looking like he finally belongs.
Lev keeps his eyes on Rue like he’s taking in everything about her. Every sound, every expression. He doesn’t speak again, but he doesn’t pull away either, petting the horse carefully the way she shows him.
Thora clasps her hands together.
“Seems like the kids like each other.” Her voice grows a little softer.
Our families are inching toward a war, and our kids decide to become friends in the middle of it. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem.
Jace’s features pull taut, like he’s had the same thought.
Lev and Rue stay by the horse for a few more minutes, her little hand pointing at one thing after another while he watches closely, taking it all in.
The fact that he’s still right there with her, still engaged, pulls at this part of me that feels a lot like hope. Hope that he’ll be okay. That maybe when I’m gone, he’ll have people around him who see him and love him exactly as he is, the way I do.
After a bit more, I drop my arm from Sloane and call to him. “Lev, davay poshli.” Lev, come on, let’s go.
But he simply glances at me, then ignores me. It should annoy me, but it brings satisfaction instead. This is exactly what he should be doing at his age.
“You’re leaving already?” Sloane asks, her eyes flicking to mine, cheeks growing crimson when my gaze drops to her mouth.
“Yes. He has therapy soon and I don’t want us to be late.”
“Okay. I should probably get going too, then.”
Did she think she had an option? That’s cute.
Sloane clears her throat, her attention flicking to Greer, like holding my gaze too long does something to her, the same way it does to me. “Thank you again for this opportunity, Greer. I’m looking forward to working here.”
“We’ll see you Friday. Mandy will show you the ropes, I’m sure.”
“I sure will.” Mandy grins, and a hard tension moves through me.
I hate the idea of Sloane spending another second here, not just because it’s dangerous, but because I don’t want any Whitlock man anywhere near her.
Thora turns to Sloane. “It was really nice meeting you.”
“You too,” Sloane tells her.
“Come on, Rue. We need to get lunch,” Jace calls to his daughter, who scowls.
“Ugh, I’m not hungry. I wanna play with Lev. Please, Daddy!”
“They need to go now. Next time.”
But we both know that’s not happening. It kills me to say that, but Lev can make new friends. At least I hope he can.
I head for him and take his hand.
“Bye, Rue,” I tell her, and she pouts.
“Bye.”
“Need me to drive you girls to your car?” Greer asks.
“No.” I slide my hand into Sloane’s, fingers locking. “I’ll drive her.”
It hurts how perfect it is to be with her like this.
Greer’s mouth quirks, like she’s entertained. “Got it.”
Beside me, Sloane goes still like she can’t quite believe I said that, and I curl my fingers more firmly around her hand.
Jace sees it. They all do.
I want them to. No one touches her. He can remember that the next time he thinks about putting his hands where they don’t belong.
Rue turns toward Lev. “I hope we can play again.”
Before I can even process it, she darts forward and throws her arms around him.
“Rue, you have to ask before you do that,” Jace scolds, but I barely hear him.
All I see is Lev, standing there at first with his arms stiff at his sides, then inching them up, little by little, until he wraps them around her back.
“Oh my God,” Sloane whispers, emotions clogging her throat. “They’re so cute.”
When Rue pulls back, she’s grinning.
“Maybe we can have a playdate. Right, Daddy?” She glances over her shoulder at him.
A playdate. I almost laugh. She has no idea how complicated things are about to get between our families.
Lev peers up at me, asking without asking.
Pizdets. Chto mne teper delat? Fuck. What am I supposed to do now?
I would give him anything he wants. That’s the truth. He’s my weakness and my purpose, and the way he’s standing there staring at me sure as hell doesn’t make any of this easier.
“We’ll see.” I keep my tone even, not trusting what comes out of me when I let myself feel too much. “Say goodbye now, Lev.”
“B-b-bye,” he whispers.
Rue rushes to give him one more hug, and he returns it.
When she finally steps away and waves, his fingers lift, just a little, before he grabs Sloane’s other hand again, holding on like he’s already decided she’s home and he’s not letting go.
The worst part is, I already know I won’t either.