Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
SLOANE
You have five seconds to convince me not to kill you, Eden. And I would start now.
The words repeat over and over while the gun remains planted at my neck, ready to fire at any second.
He knows my real name. He knows everything about me.
And now this dangerous man knows that I tried to steal from him, so there’s no way I’m getting out of here alive.
Another broken sound slips out of me, and before I can catch my balance, he pushes me up against the wall with a growl that sounds almost inhuman. The barrel digs deeper into my skin as he leans in, pressing his nose to my hair and inhaling like he’s deciding exactly how he wants to destroy me.
“You’d better start talking, and you’d better make me believe you, because I’m very close to putting a bullet in your skull.”
“Kirill, please…” I choke out. “I—”
“You what?” The gun shifts, the muzzle pressing harder now. “Was this your plan from the beginning? You and that man working together to steal from me? Are you fucking him? Have you been making a fool of me this whole time?”
He growls the words against my ear, his body crowding mine so completely I can barely breathe.
“Do you really not understand who I am, solnishko?” Each syllable is more threatening than the last. “Do I need to remind you?” Then he steps back, the gun dragging down the length of my spine, and I wince. “I could kill you right now.”
“Then do it!” I whip around to face him, sick of all of it—the fear, the lies, the constant games, this feeling that no matter what I do, I only make everything worse.
His expression softens, but it only lasts a second.
My hands close around the gun, and I drag it toward my own head. My gaze fastens on his, fury burning so hot inside me, it feels brighter than the terror.
“Do it!” I scream, tears blinding me. “I’d deserve it.” My thumb presses against his on the trigger. “I’ve spent too many nights thinking people would be better off without me. Thinking about all the ways I ruin everything I touch, all the ways I make every bad thing worse just by existing.”
A sob tears out of me.
“But if you ever cared about me at all, then promise me one thing.” I manage the next words through the ache in my throat.
“Watch out for Milo. Watch out for my boy.” The back of my hand scrubs beneath my eyes.
“Take him as your own, because he has no one else. My sister will ruin him—or worse, leave him in the system—and he deserves so much more than anything I ever had.”
Another sob shakes through me, violent enough to make my whole body tremble.
“Please,” I whisper, then louder when he still doesn’t answer. “Please say you’ll do it.”
“Milo?” He says the name slowly, like he’s trying to put the puzzle pieces together. “Your…your nephew?”
I shake my head so hard it hurts. “He’s not my nephew.
He’s my son. Mine. And I would do anything for him.
” My hand slams against my chest. “She took him from me, and there was nothing I could do. She swore to me that I could get him back if I had a place to live and money of my own. I begged her to let me have him when I started working here, and she said no.” My bottom lip shudders. “She always says no.”
“Who was the man at the park?” he asks, his chest rising harder now.
“Some stranger she hired to watch him. I’d never seen him before.” A bitter laugh slips out of me. “I should’ve known you’d have me followed. I was stupid. But ask yourself…”
My hand clasps his cheek and he flings it away, and that one move just about kills me.
“Ask yourself what you would do for Lev. What lengths would you go to if his life was at risk and you were the only one who could stop it.”
“I don’t like riddles, Eden…” He says my real name with such coldness, it’s like a wall slamming down between us.
I haven’t forgotten the photos. The deed. The fact that he knows more about me than he should. But I’m in no position to ask him anything. Not with the gun still in his hand and that look on his face that says he could kill me if he had to.
“I was looking for a ledger.” I start with the truth. “A man from my past, Eli, came to the diner and told me if I didn’t get it, my son and I were dead. And I believed him, because I know what he’s capable of. What my boss back in New York is capable of.”
A muscle in his neck jumps.
“My old boss, Barrett, ran a small crew of thieves, and I was the one who handled the safes. The last time they saw me, a job went bad and I ran. I started a new life with a new name and a new place to live.”
Your place, I almost say, the words catching in my throat. I don’t know how much he already knows, so I push on.
“When Eli found me, he knew if I got close enough to you, I could take what he wanted. That’s why he forced me into the auction. He was counting on—”
“Ya yevo ubyu.”
I don’t know what he says, but the way his eyes flare tells me everything. Eli’s already dead in his mind.
“I’m…I’m sorry,” I whisper. “But I would do it again if it meant saving my boy. I don’t care what happens to me as long as he’s safe.”
My chin trembles, and he lifts it with the barrel of the gun, forcing me to meet his gaze.
“Are you going to ask me about the house?” he says, a cold smile pulling at his mouth. “The photos?” His eyes go flat. “Go on. Ask.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t want to.”
“Why not?” The barrel presses into my throat. “Are you afraid of me?”
My body betrays me, trembling harder.
“You should be.”
My pulse pounds in my temples.
“Ask me, Eden!”
I flinch back from the rise in his tone. “How…how do you know my name?”
He chuckles. “Oh, see, that is a long story, solnishko.”
His pause drags on as his gaze drops to my lips, and I can’t tell if he regrets ever kissing me at all…or if he wants to do it again.
“Years ago, when you were fourteen…you stole from me.”
“What?” My head jerks back. “No. I would remember that.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” he says calmly. “You didn’t even know I owned the place. You slipped into the restaurant and took cash from a tip jar in the back.”
The memory hits me all at once.
“Oh my God… I remember that. My mom needed money for her insulin. I didn’t have a choice.”
“I figured that out after,” he says. “After I found out where you lived. That dump you called a home. Parents who couldn’t even be bothered to take care of you.”
A chill sinks into me.
“So I let you live.” The gun drifts along my cheek. “Not only did I let you live, but I made sure you were taken care of.”
What is he talking about?
“A job. A place to go when things got bad. People put in your path at the right time.” His head tilts slightly. “You think it was luck that you were able to run off when that job with Barrett fell apart?”
My stomach drops.
Holy shit.
“I knew you were getting in too deep. Knew you would need help when everything blew up in your face.”
Oh my God, I can’t breathe.
“That mechanic who fixed your car? I paid him.” He smirks. “Samuel, the one who helped you disappear? That was me too. It was always me, moya vorovka.”
“Wh-what?” The room tilts. “No…no, that’s not possible.”
“Of course it’s possible.” The gun feathers down my throat. “I’m a very connected man, malyshka.” His stare holds mine. “Maybe you haven’t realized how far my reach goes.”
My chest rises and falls too fast.
“I knew everything there was to know about you.” His gaze drags over me, sharper now. “And yet somehow…” Those steely eyes narrow. “I never saw you pregnant.”
My heart stops.
“How?” he asks, voice low and dangerous now. “How did you hide that from me?”
I swallow hard, my fingers curling into my palms.
“Baggy clothes,” I whisper. “I-I never put on much weight. It wasn’t hard to hide.”
His jaw flexes.
“I’ve been trying to protect you all this time,” he cuts in, his teeth gritting, the calm finally cracking. “And all you’ve done is lie to me.” His stare pins me in place. “Why?”
My chest constricts so hard it hurts. I can’t think past the shock of it, past the question circling in my head.
Why would he do any of that for me? Why would he help me?
He finally lowers the gun to his side with a shallow exhale, and that’s when I see it clearly: the way his composure is slipping through his fingers, the way he’s breaking.
And I break with him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He grabs the back of my head and drops his forehead to mine. “I would’ve given you anything, Sloane. Anything. I would’ve ripped out my own goddamn heart if you’d asked me to.”
I let out a cry, everything inside me ripping open. He draws back just enough to look at me, and the pain on his face is almost worse than the gun was.
“I’m sorry.” The words fall out of me in a rush as I take his face in both hands. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but I was terrified. Can’t you understand that? Haven’t you ever been that afraid in your life?”
His eyes squeeze shut.
“Please,” I whisper, falling apart now. “Please forgive me. Tell me what you need from me. Tell me what I have to do to earn your forgiveness. I’m not even asking for your trust. I know I broke that.”
When he opens his eyes again, there’s so much in them, I can’t even begin to name it.
“I don’t know how to live without you,” he whispers, his voice drowning with so much agony, it tears straight through me.
I’ve never heard him sound like this. Never.
My hands tighten on his forearms as the tears spill faster. “I don’t want to live without you either.”
The gun slips from his hand and hits the floor with a sharp crack that thunders through the room, and when he gazes down at me, I feel it in every shattered place inside me. How much I want him. How much I need him. How badly I still want to stay.
His gaze moves over my face until it settles on my lips. “Ya by szhyog ves etot mir radi tebya.”
“What does that mean?”
His fist closes in my hair, his face strained with so much emotion, it leaves me burning beneath it. “That I would’ve burned this entire world down for you.”