Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Yarik
Do you have a favorite constellation?
Kirill
. . . no.
Yarik
Really?
Kirill
I really don’t.
Yarik
So, you’re going to tell me that you never go out at night just to look up at the stars?
I’m outside right now, in case you’re wondering.
Kirill
I wasn’t.
Yarik
But if you were . . .
Play the game?
Kirill
Fine.
What are you doing outside? It’s two in the morning there.
Deleted Kirill Text:
In fucking February. Go inside before you get sick or someone puts a gun to your
Yarik
Sometimes I come outside to look up at the stars, so it won’t feel like I’m so far away from home. Sometimes I like to think that I could reach up and steal one from the sky. Hold it in the palm of my hand and pretend someone back home will realize it’s gone missing.
I lay down, too, even when it’s cold like it is tonight. I want to feel alive but I
Kirill
But what?
Yarik. But you WHAT?
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I feel so alone
Yarik
But then I remember that I don’t really know anything about stars or galaxies or constellations, so I borrowed a book from the library .
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Tell me what you wanted to say
Yarik
I’ll tell you all about it if I ever get around to reading it.
Kirill
You do that.
I’ve got to get back to work.
Yarik
Okay.
Night, Kirill.
Kirill
Good night, Yarik.
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How do you make friends?
I hate it here.
Yarik
All right. I found it.
Kirill
Found what?
Yarik
My favorite constellation.
Well, I mean, I haven’t found it in the sky but it’s my favorite story so far. Ready?
Kirill
Do I have a choice?
Yarik
Do you ever?
Kirill
Fine. Lay it on me.
Yarik
Are you sitting down? You should be sitting down for this.
Kirill
I’m literally scrubbing someone’s blood out of your father’s precious eighteenth-century floor.
Yarik
So, you’re on your knees? That works, too.
Kirill
Piss off.
Yarik
Good to know you’re as grumpy as ever.
Kirill
You going to tell me your story, or what? Someone’s gonna start asking questions when I’m not done in here soon.
Yarik
Oh, right.
So, there was once a queen
Kirill
Is this a fairy tale? Are you making it all up?
Yarik
Arsehole. I was gathering my thoughts!
Kirill
Well, hurry up on the gathering. I can hear Artem down the hall.
Yarik
Who died, anyway?
Kirill
Does it matter?
Yarik
Guess not.
So, there was once this ancient Egyptian queen. When her husband, Ptolemy, went off to war, she was so worried that he might not come back that she actually cut off her blonde hair.
Kirill
Wow.
All of it? Just a strand? Tell me everything.
Yarik
You’re taking the piss out of me.
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You’re too easy to mess with
Kirill
Yarik.
Yarik
Yeah?
Kirill
Keep going.
Yarik
It’s said that her hair was the pride of Egypt. She laid it across the Temple of Aphrodite as a sacrifice. Anything to bring Ptolemy home.
It worked, I guess.
Aphrodite was so struck by the queen’s love for her husband that she made sure Ptolemy survived the battle and made his way home safely. Then she took the queen’s sacrifice and used it to decorate the sky, giving us stars that shine bright like spun gold.
Are you still there?
You haven’t said anything.
Kirill
Trying to understand why that one’s your favorite.
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I don’t know. Or maybe I do. It’s just that, when I came across it, I couldn’t help but stare at myself in the mirror. I’d shave my hair, too, if I was like the queen, praying for the person I loved to come back to me. I’d sacrifice a lot more than my hair, I think. I’d do just about anything to keep them safe. Thinking like that keeps me up at night. I haven’t slept. It’s this place. It’s so cold, Kirill. Cold and lonely and
Yarik
I like that the king found his way home.
Kirill
Yaroslav, you know . . .
You know that you can come back to London, don’t you? Volkov would let you.
Yarik?
Bloody hell, Yarik. Just answer me.
Kirill
Stop being a brat.
You think I don’t know how much you miss England?
You think I don’t know that the reason you’re texting me at all hours of the night is because you’re fucking choking on regret after being so impulsive?
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I hate that about you
You got yourself shipped off to the other side of the world and now I’m losing sleep because of you
Kirill
Put your pride down and tell your father that you want to come home.
Yarik
I already did.
Kirill
And?
Yarik
He said no.
Kirill
Look up the constellation Andromeda.
Yarik
Okay.
Soooo, this one’s dark.
Kirill
Not really.
Yarik
She’s almost devoured by a sea monster. How is that not dark?
Kirill
But she’s saved, isn’t she? Perseus saves her on his white steed.
Yarik
The white steed has a name.
Kirill
Pegasus, I know.
Did you get to the part where she and Perseus get married?
Yarik
Yup.
Kirill
And?
Yarik
She spent her childhood chained up by her parents. Then she almost gets eaten by the sea monster. And then she just, what, gets saved and ends up married to the bloke who rescued her???
Kirill
That bloke ends up being king.
Yarik
So, she’s essentially chained to a throne as his queen. Sounds fun.
Kirill
Says the mafia prince.
Yarik
Maybe that’s how I know she’s traded one set of chains for another.
Kirill
If Volkov ever hears you say that…
Yarik
Why do you think I’m still in Moscow?
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You’re going to think I’m so stupid
I’m at this party, and I wish you were here. I don’t even know why I haven’t left except
Okay, I know why I haven’t left. I told myself that I’d come for an hour and try to be normal. These kids don’t know that the best way to stab someone is under the rib cage in a sharp, upward motion. But they know what it’s like to kiss someone and I have no idea what that’s like. I wish I did. I wish I was interested in any of the girls that are here.
I just keep thinking about how much I miss
Yarik
Have you kissed someone before?
Kirill
What?
Yarik
Kissing. Have you had your first kiss yet?
Kirill
How’s that any of your business?
Yarik
You’re my best mate.
Kirill
And?
Yarik
Shouldn’t I know everything about you?
Kirill
No.
Yarik
Well, you know everything about me.
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That’s because you never stop talking. You don’t even give me a chance to breathe before your brain’s flitting off to another topic. I could list off a thousand things that I know about you and there’d still be another thousand that I could mention
Kirill
Why do you want to know if I’ve kissed someone?
Yarik
I want to know what it’s like.
Kirill
So go and find out.
Yarik
You’re really not going to tell me?
Kirill
I don’t actually have to tell you everything.
Yarik
Huh.
Kirill
. . . huh, what?
Yarik
I don’t think you’ve done it.
Kirill
Done what?
Yarik
Kissed somebody.
I really thought you would have by now. Not because being sixteen is old, or whatever, but because you’re too curious. You don’t like being kept in the dark. The not knowing scares you.
Kirill
Yarik . . .
Yarik
But maybe you haven’t because you don’t actually trust anyone. Kissing means closing your eyes. It means letting down your guard and holding someone close enough that you can feel their heartbeat against your chest.
You can’t kiss someone with a knife in your hand.
Kirill
Says who?
Yarik
Someone, probably. I bet it’s a rule.
Kirill
I could kiss someone with a knife in my hand. If I wanted to.
Yarik
Sources say no.
Kirill
Bloody hell. Are you ASKING someone???
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Who would I even ask?
Yarik
Should I?
Kirill
NO.
Yarik
I can. I’m at a party and there are a ton of people here. Someone would be able to tell me what’s the right sort of etiquette for kissing.
I bet they’d tell me all the ways that you’re wrong.
I’m definitely going to ask. You’ve gotten a big head, Kirill. Someone needs to bring you back down to earth.
Kirill
Fuck, you’re a menace.
Yes, I’ve kissed someone.
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Oh
When did this happen?
Are you dating her?
Is she there with you right now?
Yarik
Did you like it?
Kirill
It wasn’t bad, I guess.
Yarik
But it wasn’t good??
Kirill
It was fine.
Yarik
Sources say that doesn’t sound like a ringing endorsement.
Kirill
Sources say that mafia princes ought to mind their own fucking business.
Yarik
I’m going to go find someone to kiss. It’s going to be better than fine. I just know it.
Deleted Yarik Text:
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t because I can’t stop thinking about
I wish you hadn’t had your first kiss already