Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
SHELLY
A fter Finn dropped me off outside my camper, I climbed into the van and flopped on the bed. That was a few hours ago. I’m still lying here, trying to process it all. I haven’t returned to that place in two decades. Even after all these years, the place still makes me want to puke.
Finn was so nice, too. He couldn’t have possibly known. He looked so lost and helpless, as if it was his fault. I couldn’t speak in the car. We drove home in silence. He tried to help me into the van, asked if I needed anything or if he could call someone, but I just shook my head.
Only my parents can help me. I sit up on the bed and call Mom.
She answers on the second ring. “Shelly Belly. Honey it’s Shelly Belly,” she shouts. “Your dad’s just fighting with his bicycle, dear. I told him not to have a second brownie while we were cycling, but he wouldn’t listen. Now he’s gone and wrapped himself round a lamppost. ”
“Where are you?” I half laugh, forgetting all about the day after hearing Mom’s voice.
“Amsterdam. We leave for Rotterdam next week and then we’re getting the ferry to Hull to tour the UK. How’s everything with you? Did you get my voice note?”
“Yes, I got your note. You liked the speech?” My chest expands with all the love my parents shower me with.
“We watched it on the website. We’re so proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Is everything all right?”
“It is now. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“That’s good. We’ve missed you, Shelly Belly. I’ll call you in a few days. I have to untangle your dad from the bike chain now. Love you.”
“Love you, Mom. Say hi to Dad.”
“I will, sweetie, when he’s come down from his high.”
I silently laugh as I end the call and feel lighter already. Swiping the screen on my phone, there are several text notifications from Finn.
Was it something I said?
I’m freaking out a little here. Are you all right? I regret leaving you like that.
I told your colleagues at the hut. I hope that's all right. I just didn't feel you should be alone.
Within minutes, the zip to my awning growls as it’s tugged open. “Shell?”
I slide open the camper door and step out, under the awning. Oli strides towards me and wraps me in a hug.
“Finn mentioned taking you there, and you got upset, so I had to come and check on you.” He rubs my back. We’ve been friends forever, and he knows my past.
“I’m okay. I just feel bad for the way I treated Finn. He was trying to do something nice, and I threw it back in his face.” I drop into the flower-power fold-out camping chair.
“Let me make us a pot of tea. Everything is better with sweet tea, like your mom always says.” He fills the kettle with water from the barrel and pops it onto the camping stove in the van while I bury my head in my palms.
“Oli, I feel bad. Should I text him?”
He pops his head out of the open door into the awning where I’m sitting. “He was awfully worried. Kinda sweet.”
I open my phone again and text.
Thank you. It’s nothing you said.
Oli hands me a warm cup of sweet tea. The aroma fills the small space and I relax back in the large canvas chair, blowing on my drink.
“You look really classy in your outfit.” He points to my floaty cover up and linen trousers and cami. “I’m assuming it wasn’t wrinkled when you went out.”
“I’ve just been in bed since he dropped me off. At first, I though it was a sick joke. I wouldn’t put it past the Kilmores, but Finn’s not like that. Is he?”
Oliver perches on top of the cool box. “I think he’s genuine. He has no clue why you hate that place so much.”
“I’m annoyed at myself that I still let it affect me.” Sipping the sweet tea calms my mind. I haven’t eaten since breakfast, but I’m not sure I could stomach food yet.
“You know your boundaries and today you crossed one without being prepared.”
My phone vibrates.
“That him?” Oli asks .
I nod and read the text aloud.
Please let me know if you need anything.
“Awe. That’s kind. He’s a sweetheart.”
“He’s also friends with Chad and his cousin, Bentley. A little arrogant.”
“And hot.” Oli smiles behind his cup of tea, crossing one slender leg over the other.
“Do you want to date him?”
“Nope, I’m perfectly happy with my man. Thank you.”
Everything seems clearer now I’m back in my safe haven, sipping tea with my friend. I just wish I could relax a little. My shoulders are hunched so tight that no amount of CBD oil is going to help. The only solution is to explain everything to Finn.
He may be friends with the Kilmores, and arrogant, and his good looks should come with a warning, may cause flushed cheeks, and ruin panties. But he doesn’t deserve what happened today. I owe him an explanation.
“Do you know where Finn lives?” I wince as I say that out loud.
Oli curls his lips. “He’s staying at the resort next to the marina. I just need to text Sullivan. He’ll tell me which rental Finn’s in.”
Before I can say yes please, he’s shooting off a text.
Waves crash in the distance, soothing my frazzled nerves. No wonder Finn stays here. Besides the luxury gated community, not to mention the security system, its tranquil setting with all the amenities at hand is a tourist’s dream .
I try to smooth out the wrinkles on my cami before I rasp my knuckles against his door. My heart thumps beneath my breast. I’ll just say my piece, then go.
Country music drifts through an open window, telling me he’s home. I knock again and wait for him to answer. The longer I stand here, the more I’m overthinking. Stepping over the front lawn and flower bed, I stalk to the front window to take a peek.
My mouth drops open at the sight of his inked chest. He’s frowning in concentration as he stares at an easel in front of him, a paintbrush between his teeth and a small trowel in his hand. He wipes his other hand against his slacks, hanging deliciously low, with his suspender straps trailing down at either side.
He looks over the canvas right at me. I duck under the window, but know it’s in vain. He saw me staring and probably drooling too.
In less than thirty seconds, his front door swings open. “Shelly?”
I stand straight, inhaling the air, but it’s like it’s all disappeared, leaving a thick haze I need to fight through before I can breathe again. Then his hand takes mine, pulling me through the thicket and into his arms and into his home.
“How are you? Can I get you something?” His hands run up and down my arms as if trying to warm me. “Are you well?”
I nod as I take in his blue eyes, as deep and wondrous as the ocean. “I wanted to apologise and explain.”
“Come through.” He leads me into the property, tidying things away as he walks into the large, open-plan living area. He spins an easel around and carries it into another room .
“You paint? What’s that you’re working on?” I follow, hoping to glimpse his art.
“Er…” he closes the door to the bedroom and blocks me from entering. “Nothing really. It’s still in its early stages. I prefer not to share my work until I’m happy with it.” He moves a pile of sketchbooks from the sofa and makes a space for me.
I sit down, creaking the leather. “Why did you take me there today?”
“I heard it was the best restaurant around here for vegan food.” He sits in front of me, perching on the coffee table so our knees are touching. “Is that what freaked you out?”
To know he was trying to do something nice adds to my despair. “I can’t go there. It holds terrible memories for me.” I wring my hands together as if squeezing and wringing out a dishcloth as I’m about to spill all my troubles onto him.
He takes hold of my hands and clasps them between his large, warm palms. “You don’t have to talk about this if it’s too upsetting. Whatever it is, I understand, and we’ll never go there again.”
“It’s okay. I want to tell you.” I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath. The scent of paint and him fills my lungs, calming my nerves. “I lived there in a small house on the cliff before the hotel was built.”
His thumbs stroke the back of my hands in circular motions. “What happened?”
“The Kilmore family had been after buying us out, but Dad wouldn’t sell. One night, I smelled fuel. I saw bad men running from the house. Next thing I knew, Dad was carrying me outside.”
“Bloody hell.” He ushers closer to me, wiping my tears away with his hand. I hadn’t even realised I was crying. “ Your mum?”
“Everyone was fine.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Except my pet turtles. They’d been injured, and I was nursing them back to health. They were almost ready to go back into the sea.”
He pulls my head against his chest, his fingers tangle in my hair as he holds my head against him, peppering kisses against my scalp. “I’m so fucking sorry, Shell. No wonder you didn’t want to go back there.”
“For years I dreamt of bad men, house fires, and the turtles I couldn’t save. It’s why I can’t go there. I fear the night terrors returning.” I wrap my arms around his waist and sniffle against his chest. The hairs there tickle my nose and I take comfort in the safety of Finn’s arms.
“Is that the reason for your camper lifestyle?”
I nod my head against his chest, wiping my nose against him as I sniffle.
“Let it all out, Shell.” His knuckles soothe down my spine. “There’s a good girl. Get it out.”
Tingles travel around my body, awakening every nerve ending right down to my centre. This man turns me into a blubbering mess, then ruins my panties with one phrase. A shiver courses through me and I’m no longer crying.
I pull away, my hair matted to my wet cheeks.
Finn collects a paper towel from the floor next to his art supplies and tears a strip off. “Here, let’s wipe your nose.” He swipes the paper towel under my nostrils.
“You might need to wipe your chest, too.” I point to the drool, tears, and what could be snot making the black ink on his chest shine. “I’ve ugly cried, haven’t I?” Heat creeps up my neck into my wet cheeks.
Finn gives me a small smile as he continues to wipe my face and brush my matted hair from my cheeks with his fingers. “There’s nothing ugly about you. Even when you cry, you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
My eyebrows pinch together, and I almost burst out into a laugh. “Now I know you're lying. I’m all right, but I’m not Miss Magnolia or anything.”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it?” He dabs another paper towel into a jar of water next to his paints, then wipes my face again. “Some people don’t like reptiles. They’re weird looking, scaly, and just plain ugly. But you’ve made it your life’s mission to take care of turtles.”
“Are you saying I’m like a turtle?”
He chuckles, wiping his chest. “I’m saying people don’t always see the beauty in things until they look a little closer or learn more about them. Like the turtle, for example. When you realise they’re intelligent, complicated, fascinating, you appreciate and respect them more and see their true worth and beauty.”
The beauty in him is now clear to me. His true essence is much more than a chiselled god with a British accent who has me going through underwear faster than I can launder them. Tonight I see his kindness and caring nature, making me feel safe and heard. I can’t find the right words to convey all what I feel. Especially when he’s so close and gazing into my eyes, but there’s so much more about him that I want to swim into his depths and explore every side to this man.
I’ve been so stubborn, all because he’s friends with Magnolia Point’s finest asswipes, but Finn’s nothing like them. My heart races. I lean into him, hoping he’ll take the kiss I owe him.