Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
L ucy tried to ignore the ever-growing ache in her stomach as they crept closer and closer to Northern Virginia. It had been a long journey back, traveling halfway across the country, while the three of them continued to exist in their little bubble, none of them talking about what happened next. Probably because they all knew, even if they didn’t want to say it aloud.
Last night had been their last night. Lucy ran her fingertips over her lower lip as she closed her eyes and replayed it in her mind.
Joey and Miles had taken turns removing her clothing, kissing, licking, and stroking every inch of newly bared skin. She’d never felt so adored, so worshipped, so… God, almost powerful. Being with them was a heady experience. Especially when Joey eased her back on the bed, kneeling on the floor between her outstretched legs. He’d given her three orgasms with just his tongue and fingers, playing her body like a concert violinist, hitting all the right notes and driving her to heights she’d never reached before. Her body still tingled at the memory.
When he rose, Miles stepped forward, pressing his impressively thick cock inside her. Normally, Miles was a slow, thorough lover, but last night was on another plane entirely as he pounded into her body like a man hoping to imprint himself on her— in her. She was fairly certain it had worked because she swore she could still feel him inside her today.
She lost count of how many orgasms they’d given her throughout the night. After Miles finished, Joey was there to take his place. They’d woken her up two more times during the night and repeated the whole heavenly process.
The trip to Texas had been exciting and fun, and she barely recalled the hours spent on the road as they’d talked about anything and everything under the sun. She had never shared so much of herself, never felt comfortable doing so. That wasn’t a problem with Joey and Miles because they listened to all her stories with genuine interest. Then they offered her the same, giving her their own secrets and dreams.
This return journey had been more brutal, nine hours of driving each day with only brief stops to eat. They still passed the time by talking, but the stories were less personal, more of the surface-y stuff, like favorite movies, books, and shows, gossip about other people in their lives. Lucy wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but it felt as if they’d slowly started distancing themselves so the goodbyes wouldn’t be as painful.
As if.
While their conversations had dwindled, the same wasn’t true for the language they spoke with their bodies. The closer they got to Gracemont, the stronger the sexual tension grew, all of them painfully aware that time was running out.
By the time they pulled into the campsite each night, they clashed together, a rush of kisses, touches, fucking. Some nights, they didn’t come up for air until late, not eating dinner until well after ten and always in bed, where they took turns feeding each other.
Lucy had just had the best time of her life, and now…
She sighed as Joey took the exit off the interstate that led to Gracemont.
Now, it was over. She was home.
She tried to dismiss how wrong the word home suddenly felt.
Miles was in the passenger seat, staring at his phone, while Joey was driving the RV. Both men had been uncharacteristically quiet since they’d woken up this morning. Of course, she hadn’t said much either. At first, she blamed exhaustion. None of them had gotten much sleep. Now, she could see from the strained expressions on their faces they were experiencing the same melancholy she was. Today, there’d been no chatting, no car games, no music.
“Do you have time to stay for dinner?” she asked, breaking the long silence. They’d gotten a later start than normal, none of them in a hurry to get out of bed, aware it was their last morning together. As such, it was nearly six o’clock at night as they neared the farm.
Joey glanced at the dashboard to check the time, but Miles was already shaking his head in response.
“I’m afraid not. It’s another two hours to Baltimore. We’re parking this beast,” Miles said, in reference to the RV, “on our friend Leo’s farm. Layla is going to pick us up there and drive us back into the city. We’re meeting Justin and Killian tonight for a late dinner and drinks at Pat’s Pub, then we start filming in the morning. The schedule is tighter here as we’re trying to finish filming in Baltimore before Thanksgiving.”
The guys were staying with Joey’s sister Layla while they were in Baltimore.
“Pat’s Pub?” Lucy asked.
“Finn’s family owns it, and a bunch of them work there,” Joey explained, mentioning Layla’s husband.
“Joey and his brothers actually renovated the entire place after a fire,” Miles added. “Ever since then, Finn’s mother, Riley, has referred to the Moretti boys as the Italian Stallions.”
Lucy had seen all of Joey’s brothers, and she had to admit the name fit.
“Between Layla marrying into the family and the rebuilding of the pub, I’ve gotten really close to the Collins family,” Joey said. “Especially the bartender, Padraig. He’s become a good friend. I set him up with his wife.”
Miles snorted. “Is that how you’re spinning that tale?”
Lucy leaned forward, happy for the distraction as the RV rolled down Gracemont’s Main Street. In a few minutes, they’d make the turn that would take them up the mountain to Stormy Weather Farm. “How did you set them up?”
“I asked Emmy, who’s now his wife, out on a date. She and Padraig were just friends at the time,” Joey said.
“According to Padraig,” Miles interjected, “they were just friends until Joey strutted into the pub with his arm around Emmy. That was when he realized he was in love with her.”
Joey laughed. “I figured that out about three seconds after Emmy and I walked in. Padraig was shooting daggers at me across the bar. So, I did what any self-respecting matchmaker would do in the same situation.”
“Which was?” Lucy prompted.
“I kissed her.”
Lucy giggled. “Oh my God. Did Padraig throat-punch you?”
Joey shook his head. “No. He probably would have if I’d put up a fight for Emmy, but I could see she was in love with him too.”
“That’s so romantic…for them.” Lucy had paused before adding the last two words, making the guys laugh.
“Theirs is definitely a story worthy of Kiss and Tell ,” Joey said. “Might be fun to get a cameo in one of your episodes. Because I would insist on being recognized for my efforts on their behalf.”
Lucy bit her lip, because it was on the tip of her tongue to suggest Joey turn the RV back toward the highway just so she could meet the couple and interview them.
She didn’t, because there were too many people relying on her at the farm. She couldn’t adopt Miles and Joey’s adventurous lifestyle, no matter how much she might want to.
Joey made the turn, and she leaned back, this winding road as familiar to her as the back of her hand. She had hoped that somewhere over the last few days, she’d find a spark of excitement over returning, but if the unbearable weight pressing down on her was any indication, she’d say that wasn’t coming. Perhaps she’d feel better once she was home and saw her family again.
Once they crested the hill and her farmhouse came into view, Lucy literally had to fight back tears. She blinked rapidly because she refused to ruin this goodbye by becoming a blubbering, inconsolable mess. She’d save the tears for later, when she was alone in her own bed.
Joey parked the RV in the driveway, turning it off. She glanced at the porch, sort of surprised no one was there. She’d texted Remi around lunchtime to give her their ETA. She’d been so wrapped up in her misery that it didn’t occur to her until just now that Remi hadn’t replied.
She stood up and stepped out of the RV, stretching her back. Joey joined her, his hand gripping the back of her neck in that familiar, hot way she loved.
“Home again, home again, jiggety jig jig,” she said, repeating a silly line her granddaddy had always used whenever they returned home from town.
Miles climbed down the steps from the RV with her suitcase in his hand, and Lucy had to swallow down the lump in her throat.
“Thanks,” she said, when he placed it on the ground next to her, aware her voice sounded thin. She was about to return to the RV for the rest of her stuff—her backpack, laptop, and camera case—when the screen door slammed and her sister, Nora, stepped out onto the porch.
“You’re home,” Nora said in a weary tone, walking toward them.
“Is everything okay?” Lucy asked, suddenly concerned.
“Not really. We’ve been struck down by the plague,” she said in a monotone voice. Lucy frowned until her sister explained, “Half the family is in bed with the flu.”
“What? Who? Since when?” Lucy panicked, wondering who was running the farm and businesses if everyone was sick.
Nora rubbed her neck, the dark circles under her eyes revealing just how exhausted she was. “Aunt Claire and Uncle Rex got hit with it first. They’ve been in bed since the day before yesterday. Yesterday, Sam, Remi, and Mila all went down. It’s a nasty-ass bug. High temperature, vomiting, diarrhea, the works. I’m pretty sure Theo and Levi are coming down with it too, but they refuse to go down without a fight. You know how those guys are.”
Lucy hated that so many people in her family were suffering. “Oh my God. Why didn’t you call me?”
Nora gave her a tired smile and shrugged. “I didn’t want you to worry. And besides, you were already on your way back. Those of us still functioning,” Nora added, “have divvied up all the chores, pulling double and triple duty. We’ve moved everyone who’s sick here and I’m playing nurse. We’ve called in all the employees, offering overtime if they’ll work more hours. Unfortunately, a lot of them have the flu too. Luckily, there were only a handful of guests scheduled in the B&B and cabins, so I’ve been taking care of them, while the rest of the guys are handling everything else.”
“What about the brewery?” Lucy asked.
“Theo and Billy have been running things, with Sam coaching from bed—or the bathroom. But with Theo feeling bad now too, I’m glad you’re home to take over. Maybe now I can get Theo to rest.”
Lucy was racked by guilt. “Of course, I’ll take over at the brewery. And I can do whatever else you need too.”
Nora grimaced. “Sorry, Lu. Didn’t mean to hit you with this before you even made it into the house. Things are fine. Truth is, I got excited when the RV pulled up. I missed you.”
Lucy reached out to grip her sister’s forearm. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you guys needed me.”
“It’s just the flu. Nothing hugely dire.” Nora gave her a hug, then reached for the handle of Lucy’s suitcase. “I’m going to head back inside. I was making some tea for my patients,” she joked, “when I saw the RV.” Her sister returned to the house, wheeling her suitcase behind her. It spoke to her level of exhaustion that she didn’t remember to say hello to Joey and Miles.
Lucy turned back toward the RV, intent on grabbing the rest of her stuff.
“What do you need from us?” Joey asked.
“What?”
“We can help,” Miles added.
She shook her head, touched by their offer. “You don’t have time,” she reminded them. “You’re on a tight schedule, trying to finish the next episode before Thanksgiving. Filming starts tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but—” Joey began.
“It’ll be fine,” she reassured them. “I’m just going to be busy for the next few days until everyone gets better.”
Lucy thought that might be a good thing because she was going to need the distraction if she hoped to get through the next few days—weeks, months, years—without falling completely apart.
“We hate to leave you like this,” Miles said.
She shook her head, trying to alleviate their guilt. None of this was their responsibility. It was hers. “Don’t worry. I’m sure things will be back to normal soon.”
The realization that returning to normal felt like a life sentence wasn’t something she wanted to acknowledge.
She pointed to the RV. “Give me a second to grab the rest of my things.”
Joey and Miles followed her, closing the door of the RV behind them. She didn’t want to say goodbye. God, this was going to kill her.
Lucy reached out, intent on picking up her backpack, but Joey’s hand gripped her wrist, stopping her.
“I really should get inside. Poor Nora looked exhausted,” she insisted. The best way would be to rip this off quickly, like a Band-Aid.
“In a minute.” Joey tugged her toward him, wrapping his arms around her back, gently stroking up and down while he hugged her. Her arms remained bent between them, her hands resting on his chest. She considered pushing him away because his embrace was too warm, too comforting, too tempting.
How could she have fallen so hard, so quickly? Lucy had been in love before…with Billy and Marco. But her feelings for those guys, whom she’d dated much longer, felt lukewarm to this raging inferno of emotions threatening to boil over and burn her from the inside out.
When Joey released her, Miles was there, taking his turn, though he wasn’t interested in a hug. He cupped her cheeks, giving her the softest, sweetest kiss of her life. Miles’s kisses always made her feel drunk—light-headed and fuzzy.
He placed his forehead against hers. “We can pull an all-nighter if you want. Stay here to help you at the brewery or with the family. Whatever you need.”
She smiled sadly, so tempted to take him up on the offer. “No. You heard Nora. They called in extra employees, and everyone who’s well is pitching in. One of the best things about a big family is there are plenty of people to share the load in an all-hands-on-deck situation.”
“I hate saying goodbye to you,” Miles murmured, his lips touching hers as he spoke.
Lucy had to blink a few times, willing away the waterworks.
“We have a break from filming between Thanksgiving and Christmas,” Joey said. “You can come to Philly and?—”
“No,” she said, interrupting whatever he might say next. Lucy and Miles pulled apart, the two of them turning to face Joey. While Joey, the eternal optimist, refused to give up on this, she and Miles knew the score.
“I can’t leave the farm again so soon. It wouldn’t be fair to my family,” she continued.
“Then Miles and I will come here. We can?—”
“Joey,” she said softly. “We agreed that this thing between us would end here.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t agree to that.”
Miles reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Joe.”
“I didn’t ,” he reiterated hotly.
“My place is here. It will always be here.” Lucy wished her tone was powerful enough to sell her words. Sadly, she feared she was missing the mark, so she stressed, “ Always ,” as she said it a second time.
Joey looked at her like he was waiting for more. If she was a good person, she’d explain why she felt so strongly about staying on the farm, but the truth was, she had a hard time understanding this compulsion, this neurosis herself.
“Lucy,” Joey started again. “Honey.”
She drew in a shaky breath. “Please,” she whispered. “Please don’t do this.”
Joey frowned, studying her face closely.
She didn’t have the strength to hide her feelings from him, so she didn’t. She laid it all bare there for him to see. Their life was on the road. Hers was here. Remi hadn’t even graduated from high school by the time she’d lost Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Granddaddy. Lucy needed—wanted—to be a constant in their lives, someone they could rely on to be nearby if they needed her.
Joey sighed, running a hand through his hair before looking away, his jaw clenched.
“We understand,” Miles said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him.
Joey shot Miles a look that made it clear he didn’t understand a damn thing, but he didn’t say it aloud.
“It was a great adventure,” Miles said, tightening his hold. He looked every bit as upset as Joey, but he was doing his best to keep this moment light.
Lucy loved him for it. Just like she loved Joey for wanting more.
“It was,” she said, her throat tight. “It was the best time of my life.”
“Mine too,” Miles confessed, leaning down.
Lucy met him halfway, kissing him with every bit of the desperation and sorrow she felt. His hands were strong on her back, her fingers clenching his upper arms, wishing she could drag this kiss out forever.
When they parted, she looked over at Joey, who was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. She’d felt his gaze on her and Miles as they kissed. She was grateful he wasn’t so angry at her that he looked away.
“Joey,” she said softly.
He pushed away from the wall, grasping her with an aggression that was zero parts scary and a hundred parts hot as hell. “I’m going to miss the fuck out of you.” He backed those words up with a rough, hungry kiss that fired her libido to dangerous levels. Her girlie bits were about to be in for a whole world of disappointment because all she had to offer them from now on was some alone time with a lousy vibrator.
When they parted, she placed her hand on the side of his beloved face, soaking him in, drawing her thumb over his scruffy beard that tickled her whenever he kissed her.
“Thank you for everything,” she said.
Joey swallowed heavily, nodding. This time, he did look away.
Lucy grabbed her backpack, camera, and laptop cases, tossing them over her shoulders. She wanted to say more, but her throat had closed completely. What else was there to say besides…
“Goodbye,” she whispered, opening the door to the RV and walking to the front porch, refusing to look back.
She couldn’t. If she did, Lucy knew there was no way in hell she’d be able to stop herself from running back to them.
The second she stepped inside, she heard the RV engine start and the crunch of gravel as Joey turned it around in the driveway.
She remained in the front foyer, leaning against the closed door as if barring herself from leaving to chase after them, not taking a breath until she couldn’t hear the vehicle anymore.
Lucy dropped her bags on a chair near the door.
She glanced up when Nora came downstairs, carrying an empty tray.
“What do you need me to do?” Lucy said, shutting down all thoughts of Joey and Miles, ignoring the painful thudding of her heart, digging deep to wrap herself up in the numbness setting in. Shutting her mind to all the misery, she opted to focus on her family. They needed her.
Nora, God bless her, had a list.
For the next five hours, Lucy rushed around the farm, checking in with Levi and Everett regarding the vineyard, winery, and hops yard, taking temperatures and giving medicine to her sick relatives, feeding dinner to the guests at the B&B, and relieving Theo from his brewery duties because he really did look like shit.
By the time she made it to her own bedroom, it was well after eleven. While she was utterly exhausted, she couldn’t bring herself to crawl into her lonely bed just yet, so instead, she unpacked and even started a load of laundry.
When there was absolutely nothing else to do and every part of her body ached, she finally gave in to the inevitable. Crawling between the sheets, Lucy stared up at the ceiling, not bothering to stem the tears that slid down her face.
All the thoughts and bad feelings she’d managed to hold at bay since Joey and Miles drove away hit her, dropped into her mind like a barrage of missiles.
She should have invited them to come visit over the holidays.
They should have given the long-distance relationship a chance.
She should have continued the adventure.
Every single one of those wishful thoughts was destroyed by reason and logic.
They’d known each other less than a month. Upending their lives over a short affair would be the height of madness.
She shoved the insanity aside and forced herself to view things from a practical angle, to look at it without emotion.
Occasional visits would never be enough for any of them, and at the end of each one, she would have to go through another painful goodbye like the one she endured today.
When she recalled their conversations about what came next, she realized they hadn’t asked her to keep traveling with her. Not really. Joey had only said it once in jest. All they’d truly offered her was the road trip and future visits.
None of them had used the L word or referred to themselves as boyfriend or girlfriend.
They’d engaged in a casual threesome affair.
Neither man had asked for or promised more, but she wasn’t sure if that was because they didn’t want more or because they thought she didn’t.
She had let herself get carried away, had built this up to something much bigger in her heart and in her mind, and while Joey and Miles hadn’t admitted to feeling the same, she felt like they had.
Lucy wiped her eyes, wondering if things might have ended differently if she’d told them how she felt.
She dismissed that idea immediately because she knew it wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference.
Her place was here.
Theirs was on the road.
It was as simple and as difficult as that.