16. Nate
CHAPTER 16
NATE
M y son—the biological one—is an emotional wreck. Tatum’s been sitting in Abi’s lap for the last hour, letting his hurt pour out like raindrops. I tried to console him after Meadows left, but he refused to pry his face away from Abi’s chest long enough to look at me. The Bens aren’t taking it nearly as hard as Tatum is, but that didn’t stop Bennet from crawling into my lap the moment Meadows and Benito were gone. Benji’s beside me, one arm wrapped around me, the other around Bennet. Abi and I share a few concerned glances, but his main focus—as it should be—is on his husband. Seeing Abi take control and consoling my son removes any worry I might have about him living so far away, because I know he has Abi to look out for him, the same way I look after the Bens.
After Meadows and the monster left, Benji rushed upstairs and grabbed all of our Build-A-Bears, tucking one under Bennet’s arm before setting my bearlike-Ben stuffies at my side before plopping his butt back in my lap. Bennet and Benji played with their bears for a while, occasionally tossing one across the room until one of them made a mad dash to collect it, cackling like schoolboys while Tatum watched with amusement in his teary eyes.
When Bennet had to go pee, I placed Benji on my knee and sang “Ride a Little Horsey” to him, kicking my leg out and letting him slide down my shin a few inches as I cried, “Watch out horsey, don’t fall down!” That earned me an even warmer smile from Tatum. The longer he watches us, I think the more at peace with the situation he becomes.
A few hours later, Tatum somehow commandeered both bears I bought for the Bens, and I’m a little worried, because my boys still haven’t heard the message I left them. He stares down at the twin bears like they’re the most precious things he’s ever seen. My eyes widen as I watch him squeeze the bear’s tummy, because when Tatum hears the message I recorded, I know all hell is going to break loose.
“Benji,” my voice crackles through the speaker. “My beautiful boy. I must be the luckiest man alive, because I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done to earn your love. I don’t know if I can ever be worthy of the way you look at me, all love-drunk with hearts in your eyes, but I’m going to try. I promise, Benji. Dad loves you.”
Tatum stares at the bear like its entire existence is impossible. Like he can’t believe the words that are coming out of its tummy. When he turns his attention to Bennet’s bear, my heart stalls in my chest. I want to scream out for him to keep his hand away from its stomach, but I can’t even open my mouth. It’s like I’m watching a horror movie unfold in front of me.
“Sweet boy,” my voice coos. “Daddy’s sweet, sweet boy. You don’t know how lonely I was before you boys came back into my life. You’re both the biggest, brightest part of my day, and while this is scary and confusing, I’m in this, son. I’m in it just as much as you. What you said earlier—about adopting you—as crazy as it sounds, I think I want that too. I want to spend the rest of my life with you boys. So, if that’s still something you’re interested in, I’m in. Daddy loves you, Bennet.”
Tatum’s eyes are locked on the bear, but the second the Bens start to whimper, he twists his neck to look at them. Bennet’s crying into my shirt, but Benji’s staring up at me in shock. His mouth opens and closes repeatedly like a fish out of water, but no matter how many times he tries to speak, nothing comes out. I hold them close, allowing them to process what they’ve just heard.
Bennet stands up, wiping his eyes. “Benji, I think we should give him the gift we bought at the mall.”
Benji nods in agreement, and it’s all the approval Bennet needs, because he rushes up the stairs, ignoring my pleas to be careful so he doesn’t fall and crack his skull. When he returns, he’s holding a small black box. I take the box from him and open it, and it’s like everything that isn’t Nate, Bennet, and Benji disappear from existence.
“Boys,” I croak, my voice raw with emotion. In the box is a heart-shaped necklace, silver, just like theirs. Well, I think theirs used to be gold, but the plating has chipped over the years, leaving only speckles of yellow here and there, like poorly placed polka-dots.
“Me and Benji share a heart,” Bennet says, holding his necklace. “And both halves belong to you, sir. Forever.”
Benji nods, wiping a tear away. “Love you so much, Dad.”
I open my mouth a few times, unable to get any words out.
“You really love them, don’t you?” Tatum finally says, breaking the silence. When I look into my son’s eyes, I’m surprised to find there’s no malice or ill will in his gaze. Just a subtle knowingness.
“With everything I’ve got,” I confirm. “Please support this, Tatum. I need you to be okay with it, because I can’t give them up. I won’t.”
He bites his bottom lip, staring at his ex-boyfriends in disbelief. When our eyes lock, he doesn’t look away. We stay like this for a moment, then he gives me the slightest nod. “And the part about adopting them? Did you mean that?”
I give him a look that asks if he’s serious, because the answer is right in front of him. My boys are latched onto me like cuddly koalas, showing no sign of letting go in the near future. Of course that’s what I want. I want them to be a part of me forever. For this bond to strengthen each passing day. I stroke Bennet’s back, trying to comfort him.
“I meant every word I said.” Turning to Benji, I beam at him as I lean down and kiss his forehead, then Bennet’s. “I love you both, and I want this with you. I want this to be our forever.”
Tears well in Benji’s eyes. “You’ll really adopt us? I was just teasing when I mentioned it, that time.”
“All jokes come from a place of truth. You want this just as much as I do. Please don’t lie to me again—not when it’s about our future.” I lean down and kiss the corner of his mouth. “As much as I hate to say it, I don’t think I’ll be around long enough for polyamorous marriage to be legalized, especially with that bastard in the oval office, so this is our best shot at forging some form of life together. This is the closest we’ll get. If it’s not something you boys want, we can just keep things the way they are now, but I’d love to have something that ties us all together, legally.”
Benji’s jaw trembles. “I want that too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I want you to be my dad. My real dad.”
I’m too worried to look at Tatum, because even though Benji has shared this sentiment a few times, I know how deranged it might sound to someone unfamiliar with our dynamic. Still, my boy is staring at me with big dreamy eyes, and I can’t stop myself from saying, “I already am, Benjamin.”
As Benji buries his face in my chest, holding on as tight as his arms will allow, I finally look up at Tatum. He’s staring at us intently, and I can see the little wheels spinning in his head.
“Okay,” he finally says. “You win.” He stands from Abi’s lap and makes his way across the living room, kneeling in front of us. He places one hand on Bennet’s back, and the other on Benji’s hip. “Guys?” Bennet and Benji slowly turn their heads. Tatum’s forcing a smile, and I can tell he’s still not entirely comfortable with the situation, but the fact he’s willing to push those comfort levels makes my heart swell. “Don’t hurt him.”
The Bens nod, still staring at Tatum like he might rip the rug out from under them and tell them this has all been a colossal joke. He doesn’t though. He just stares at them, waiting for my boys to give them their word.
“Promise,” they say together.
“Because if you do, there will be no hoping you’ll cry or hoping you’ll die. I’ll kill you myself.” My Bens stare at him with fearful eyes, and I’m about to tell Tatum he’s never allowed to threaten their lives again, but I don’t get the chance. A smile flashes on his face, and Tatum leans closer, locking us in a group hug.
Family. That’s what this feels like. It’s what it’s felt like since the day I met my Bens. Part of me has always known they belonged here, though I didn’t understand why. Now, nothing has ever felt so true. They’re my family, and I’m theirs.
We spend the rest of the afternoon curled up on the sofa watching Tatum’s favorite reality show. The Bens nuzzle next to me, pointing out various Real Housewives and explaining why they hate them. Apparently, Tatum’s lord and savior, Lisa Rinna, is a very divisive individual, and my boys almost come to blows when Bennet says the woman has the moral compass of a dog in heat. Luckily, I manage to defuse the situation by offering to take my sons on another trip to Build-A-Bear tomorrow. Two of my boys have bears, proudly proclaiming my love for them, and I want my other boys to have the same. My Tatum and my Abdulov.
When the day is done, Tatum and Abi take Tatum’s old room, and the Bens and I take the big bed. My boys have been through hell today, so I rest on my side, allowing them to use my hip as a pillow of sorts. There’s a bit more padding around my midsection than there used to be, and I just hope it’s soft enough to keep them comfortable. There’s not a stitch of clothing between us, giving me a delicious view of my boys’ smaller-than-average cocks. I alter between stroking Bennet’s cheek and running my fingers through Benji’s hair. Neither of them seems all that tired, but even if they were, I doubt we’d get much sleep with all the noises Tatum and Abi have been making for the last half hour. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard so many four-letter words in all my life.
Bennet looks up at me with a warm expression. “I don’t want to work at the agency again.”
“No?” I ask, stroking his cheek. “And what would you like to do, little man?” He’s nibbling his lip like he’s trying to work up the courage to tell me what he wants, but with our twin-slash-triplet powers stronger than ever, I’m pretty sure I know what he wants. “Can I tell you what I’d like you to do?”
“You can tell me anything,” he says, rubbing his hand over my heart. “If you want me to go back to the agency, I will. Or if there’s another job you think we’d be okay at, we’ll do that, instead.”
“That isn’t what you want though, is it?”
He shakes his head. “The world’s scary and people are awful. Whatever you think we should do, we’ll listen. It’s just . . .”
“Here’s what I think,” I say, glancing over at Benji. He’s staring up at me like he might fall asleep at any second. “I’d like you boys to stay home—for now, at least. Let me treat you for a while. If you decide you want to find another job in a few months, we can broach the subject then, but for now, I don’t want all this pressure on you. It’s weighing you down.”
“That makes you sound like a sugar daddy,” Benji points out.
“Does that have to be a bad thing? Why can’t I take care of the men I love? I have the means, and I have the desire to do so. You boys have hurt for too long. You deserve to relax. Please, let me do this for you.”
My Bens share a glance, and it’s one I can read a mile off.
“Okay,” they say. “Yeah. You can.”
I’m not sure if they’re really horny, or if they just want to thank me for the offer, but Benji sits up from his place at my side and crosses his legs in front of him. His hand creeps up my thigh, inching closer, toward glory. He rises to his knees and kneels between my legs, stroking my shaft. His eyes are locked with mine, and as if teasing me is his life’s only goal, he slaps my shaft against his cheek repeatedly. “You’re better than him, you know.”
I arch an eyebrow at Benji. “Better than who?”
In the next room, my son makes a depraved sound, low and guttural.
“Better than anyone.” He kisses my cockhead before dragging it back and forth across his lips. The sight of him like this—like Daddy’s filthy little whore—sends another bead of pre-cum seeping out of the tip. As Benji drags it across his lips, the pre-cum coats him like Chapstick. “Better than Nito. Better than Austin.” He opens his mouth, taking me down to the base once before pulling off. “Better than your son.”
My eyes roll back in my head, and I close them tightly as my leg rises through no action of my own. When I open my eyes again, my leg is slung over Bennet’s shoulder, and he’s kissing short trails up and down my thigh. He wedges his hand between the bed and my butt, and when he pulls my cheeks apart, a gust of cool air ghosts across my hole. To my surprise, he presses his nose right against my entrance and inhales deeply, moaning like a wanton slut. Over and over, he breathes me in, purring with each exhale. He opens his eyes and stares into mine, just breathing my musk.
“Love you,” he says, sounding drunk on my essence. His tongue pokes out, and the moment it connects with my hole, I let out the loudest, tawdriest moan I’ve ever moaned. Lick after lick, he worships my entrance like my son worships television’s Lisa Rinna. Like it’s the only thing that ever has or ever will matter in the world. His tongue extends farther as he dives in, making me shiver when wet warmth passes across my entrance over and over. He brings a finger into the mix, spreading his saliva over my hole, getting me nice and wet for him.
“Boys?” I whisper, getting their attention. “Will you fuck me?”
Bennet’s eyes widen, as do Benji’s. “You want us to?” they ask in unison, making me smile.
I clear my throat and look away. “If that’s something you’re comfortable with.”
Benji tugs at my chin until we’re eye to eye. “I’d be honored.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely.” He looks past me at Bennet and grins. “Who gets to go first? Do we need to play Rock, Paper, Scissors again?”
The thought of one having to do this on their own makes my heart race, because that’s not how my sons operate. They get frightened easily, and their connection is their only means of relief.
“If we’re doing this, I want you to do it together,” I say. They stare at me with confused expressions, eyes flickering back and forth between me and their other half. “I want you both to fuck me. Together.”
“At the same time?” Bennet clarifies.
“If that’s something you’re interested in trying.”
“It might hurt,” Benji says. “We’ll need to get you ready. Do you mind if I play with it?”
“With my butt?”
He nods, looking rather proud of himself. “With your hole, specifically. Gonna kiss it till it’s ready, then I’m gonna fuck you.” He looks into my eyes and nods. “Gonna fuck you real good, Dad. Gonna make you scream our names.”
I lick my lips. Fuck. Yeah, I want that. I want them to leave me in a blissed-out heap on the bed, gasping for air as they unload inside me.
“You’re definitely welcome to try.”
He snickers, then returns to the task at hand, tracing circles around my rim. He pokes and prods, but he doesn’t enter. It’s like he’s knocking on a door he has absolutely no intention of entering yet. He pulls away and it feels like he’s taking my entire world along for the journey. Thankfully, it’s not a very long trip. He grabs the bottle of lube from my bedside table and slathers it on his fingers before tossing it to Bennet. As Bennet coats his hand, Benji’s finger digs in deeper, and the tip breaches the surface, making every hair on my body stand on end.
“Bennet?” Benji says. “Come down here. You’ve got to see this.”
Bennet snickers. “I just made out with his hole for half an hour. I’ve got it memorized.” He looks up and winks at me. “Still going to look at it anyway, though.”
As Bennet kisses his way down my chest, he takes a small detour on the journey to my hole. He lingers at my lap long enough to take my cock in his mouth, rising and falling twice before pulling off. A string of pre-cum-infused saliva connects us. When he licks his lips, the strand falls on my cock, working itself into the lather of spit and pre-cum already coating me.
He continues his journey down until both he and Benji are between my legs, staring at my hole. Honestly, it makes me a little self-conscious, because no one’s ever paid this much attention to it before. Benji’s finger slides back and forth against the pucker, then Bennet joins in. It feels like their fingertips are dancers and my entrance is their stage. Slowly, with lubed and spitty fingers and half-cocked grins, I feel them press against me.
Oh, my God. They’re going to explore me together. It’s a realization that sends a jolt through my dick like a lightning rod that’s just been struck. I bear down, welcoming my boys home, knowing with each inch they offer, this is where they belong. They feel so thick inside me, twisting and turning before one of them strikes gold. The moment they find my prostate, they refuse to let go. Their fingers tickle back and forth against it, and just as one moves up, the other dips down, striking my magic button on an endless loop.
Bennet takes my balls in his mouth, rolling them around as I writhe against the mattress. The longer he bathes me with his tongue, the more unhinged I become, shouting out random words like “Baby,” “God,” and “Love.” It goes on and on for ages, and when they finally pull away, I realize it wasn’t enough. I want them on me—in me—like this forever. I finally realize why my son enjoys his husband slipping a finger inside his passage and keeping it there all day. If either of the Bens asked, I’d allow them to do the same to me. Heck, I kind of want to ask them if they’d be interested.
There’s movement at my side, and when I look up, Benji’s repositioning himself. I don’t know when our lips connected, but Bennet’s mouth is on mine, twirling his tongue against mine. Benji sits in the center of the bed with his back against the headboard. He’s got his little cock in his hand, stroking it slowly. “You’re sure about this . . .”
Pulling away from Bennet’s mouth, I move closer to my Benji, shrugging nervously. “I guess we’re about to find out.”
“If it hurts, you have to let us know, Dad,” Benji says, rubbing tiny circles in my back. “If you don’t like it, just tell us and we can swap.”
Bennet nods. “It’s okay if you don’t enjoy it. We enjoy it enough for all three of us.”
I take a deep breath and hold it in, mentally preparing for what’s about to happen. In a few minutes, I’m going to be sitting on both my sons’ cocks at the same time. It’s a realization that leaves me dizzy and more than a bit breathless, but I refuse to let the fear of the unknown stop us from sharing this moment. Heck, I might end up liking it.
I’m on my knees at Bennet’s side, taking deep breaths to steady my heart as Benji approaches from behind. Benji sits opposite Bennet, lying on his back and then scooting his ass closer on the bed. Once their cheeks are touching, Bennet takes their cocks in his hand, holding them right against each other. Without thinking, I lean forward and take them both into my mouth. Neither of my boys are very long, nor are they terribly thick, but my jaw still aches as I take them both to the back of my throat. They’re making small, animalistic sounds as I suck them. Sudden gasps. Muffled whimpers. I hear my name a few times before finally pulling off.
“Are you ready for me, boys?”
They’re staring at me with dazed expressions. “Come on,” they whine.
“Come be our good boy, Dad.”
“The best boy,” Bennet agrees.
I chuckle, shaking my head. “I don’t think anyone can top either of you in that department.”
Benji winks at me. “You can top me in any department.”
I groan. “And you make fun of me for my dad jokes.” I hobble forward on my knees, lifting my leg and hoisting it over until my ass is directly over their dicks. I’m facing Benji, because I feel like he needs me more at this moment. I’ll turn around in a bit, I just need him to see me, so he knows I’m okay. That we’re okay.
Bennet’s hand kneads my ass, and he leans up long enough to lick a direct stripe from my base to the initial valley of my crack. “Hold our dicks and I’ll guide him down,” Bennet tells Benji. “Good. Just like that. All right, are you ready, Daddy?”
I look over my shoulder at him, blushing like crazy. “You’re dang right, I am. Fuck me, buddy. Make me yours.”
Bennet pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, then he pulls at my hips, lowering me closer to their laps. I feel their cockheads press against me, and it makes my entire body jolt like I’ve just stuck a fork into a power socket. My body twitches with anticipation as I watch Benji’s determined face. He’s staring at the place we’re connected like a pilot trying to land a plane in a hurricane, as if nothing that has ever happened has been more important than this moment.
I close my eyes. Breathe. Release.
The pain is undebatable. There is no pleasure as their heads slip inside—not yet, at least. I refuse to let this initial discomfort ruin the moment, though. I’m giving my Bens something no one else ever has. This thing we’re sharing, it’s ours. No one else will ever know what it feels like to have my boys inside them. They’ll never have the privilege of witnessing their excited, nervous smiles as I take their topping virginity. It’s a moment we can relive as many times as we want, thanks to the new security camera we mounted on my bedroom wall after our trip to the mall.
I don’t know how much more I can take. The pain spikes and sparks like wildfire around my ring as I lower myself further. I can handle what they’ve given me so far, but I genuinely don’t know if I can take another three or four inches. I prepare for more pain, but just as quickly as I decide to push past that potential ache, I come to an abrupt stop, my breath hitching when I realize I’ve reached the end of the line. Never in my life have I been more appreciative of small dicks.
I stare down at Benji in amazement, because . . . this? This, I can do. This, I can absolutely handle.
“What’s wrong?” he breathes, his jaw tensing as I clench my hole around them.
“I can do this!” I say excitedly, much louder than the situation calls for. But I can’t help it. I’m just so thrilled that I don’t hate the way they feel fucking into me, and knowing I can share this with them now. I can give myself to them the same way they give themselves to me. “Nothing is wrong. I like it, son.” I’ve got one hand over his heart as I use the other to support my weight. Rising, I slide away from them, only to slide back down a few moments later. The action rips the breath from their lungs and sends their backs arching up. Looking back, I smile down at Bennet. “Does it feel okay, baby?”
“Daddy,” he whimpers. “It’s so tight. So perfect.” His hand rubs up and down my back, pausing long enough to squeeze my ass each time he passes by. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to do this to anyone. Thank you!” His hips are rising and falling, and when I turn and look down at Benji, I realize he’s doing the same. As when they fingered me, my boys are working on opposite paths, so when one fucks himself into me, the other is pulling out, seesawing their way toward completion.
“You look so fucking sexy like this, Benjamin,” I mumble before leaning down and claiming his mouth. “Harder. You can fuck me harder, boys. It’s okay. I can take it.”
Their hips work faster, repeatedly striking that special place with their cocks. They make me feel fuller than I’ve ever felt. Even when Tate was younger and we’d take him down to the Golden Corral after Sunday service, I never got this full, and I used to eat three whole plates. I rise and fall repeatedly, but my boys must notice how weak my knees are, because when I rise one final time, they both grab my hips, holding me up.
“Stay,” they instruct, and all I can do is follow their lead. Slowly, their hips rise off the bed, and my boys fuck me like I’m a human Fleshlight. As they slam into me, my eyes focus on Benji, watching him move closer and closer toward the edge. The faster he fucks up into me, the closer he gets, and I want to help him on his journey.
“Fuck me,” I rasp. “That’s it. God, you feel so fucking incredible.” Benji’s back arches higher and he lets out a grunt as he shoots the first shot. When Bennet cries out my name, I look back at him, my cheeks burning. Our eyes meet, and I give him an insistent nod. “That’s my boy. Breed me, buddy.”
His back arches, and I feel another rush of warmth lining my walls. This feels too good. Too damned perfect to ever have been meant for me, but I’ll take it all the same.
I rise off their dicks, not giving them a chance to react. Once I’m kneeling beside them, I pull Benji across the bed until he’s lying right beside his brother. They watch with sleepy eyes as I hover over them, stroking my cock as I hold eye contact with Bennet, then with Benji.
“Open your mouths. Now.”
My heart thunders when their lips part, allowing me passage. Angling my dick at Bennet’s face, I growl out, “Be Dad’s good boy, Bennet.” He leans up, leaving only inches between us. All it takes is the flick of his tongue, and I’m exploding into his mouth. Three jets shoot out, splashing across his tongue and teeth, leaving a messy puddle on his lips. I whirl to my left and aim at Benji’s face, my insides spinning as another three shots fire, striking his nose and cheek. I thrust forward, sliding my cock into his mouth and down his throat with ease. As I fuck his face, Bennet moves behind me and spreads my cheeks.
“Holy fucking shit.”
“Language,” I scold, but my voice is high-pitched and fragile and doesn’t sound very commanding at all.
“We’re leaking out of you, Daddy,” he says, dragging his finger up my crack. His tongue is warm against my hole, warmer still as it slips inside, twisting and turning like he’s trying to clean me out. I kind of want to move away from him, because I want to keep their loads inside me for the rest of my life.
Falling forward, my lips press against Benji’s, and we tangle together in a kiss. His hands are everywhere. My neck, my back, my ball sack, and my crack, there isn’t a square centimeter his fingertips haven’t touched.
Once they’ve had their fill, my boys pull away and we all just stare at each other, eyes darting back and forth between boyfriends.
“I think,” I admit with a heavy breath, “I just found a new favorite hobby.”
As I collapse into a heap on the mattress, my boys lie at my side, resting their heads on my stomach. They stare up at me with half-lidded eyes, but they refuse to fall asleep. It’s like they’re worried this will all disappear if they allow themselves to slip from this moment.
“Dad loves you, boys,” I assure them. “He loves you, and he always will.”
“If you’re done behaving like goddessdamned deviants,” Tatum shouts through the bedroom wall that separates us, “I’d like to get a little fucking rest.”
“Language!” the Bens shout, and the next thing I know we’re cackling. I look down at them—at the loves of my life—and I know we’ll be alright in the end. Because, this thing we share? It’s special. It belongs to us and no one else.