Chapter Three
Michelle
I watch Xander as he performs, and the emotion the song evokes has my throat tightening as tears sting my eyes. God, he’s amazingly talented, and charming, and ruggedly handsome. So different from Stuart.
Dammit! How is it I’m practically lusting after this stranger one moment then comparing him to my late husband the next? Because Stuart had been the center of my world for fourteen years.
Immediately tsking myself, I throw back the last of the chocolate martini before licking all the yummy chocolate remains.
I must look like a child licking clean an ice cream bowl, but I never let chocolate go to waste.
Hey, if that’s my worst vice, I’m doing pretty damn good.
I’ve barely set the glass on the table when the waitress breezes by, placing a raspberry seltzer in front of me and snatching up the martini glass.
“Oh, thank you,” I say. “Vikki, right?”
She gives me a smile. “Yeah, you bet. Xander wanted to be sure you stay hydrated.” She winks and whirls away, navigating the crowd to take care of others.
Oh, well, how sweet of him. I look to the stage, staring at Xander while I hold up the glass as if toasting him. He smiles broadly while continuing to sing, never faltering. And oh boy, that smile. Genuine and sexy and electric all rolled into one.
I could be in serious trouble with this man.
No one since Stuart has stirred my insides the way Xander does, and again, so different from my husband.
While Stuart was soft-spoken and possessed a calm nature, Xander is larger than life, playful, and appears carefree.
And I have a feeling the sex would be wildly wicked.
I snort, holding in my laughter at that thought. How am I already thinking about sex with this man when I hardly know him? Probably because it’s been a while since I’ve had it. Fifteen months and one week.
Damn, it’s already been over a year. Where the hell does the time go?
It goes by in a blur when you’re picking yourself back up after falling into a pit of despair.
When you’re living one day at a time, and then another and another, functioning on autopilot just to get through the tedious minutia of life.
Then before you know it, months have passed, and you realize you can go on.
Some days are easier than others when you slowly begin to experience joy and can once again focus on a purpose.
Certainly doesn’t hurt when your friends are there, offering their support and unwavering love.
Speaking of friends, Dani and Stacy return to the table in a fit of giggles, dropping into their chairs and breathing heavily.
“Where have you two been? I was beginning to think you weren’t going to return.”
“And leave you stranded?” Dani says. “Nah. We wouldn’t do that to ya.”
“We were out at the beach when someone’s dog got away from them, so we were helping chase it down. That little bugger was fast!”
“I gave up after twenty feet knowing I wasn’t catching the little shit.” Dani grabs my glass of seltzer and takes a healthy swallow. “So damn hot and humid out there.”
“Shall I order you a drink?” I say teasingly, now that she’s practically finished off mine.
Before Dani can comment, Vikki is by my side, placing another raspberry seltzer in front of me along with glasses of water in front of Dani and Stacy. “You ladies want anything stronger?”
Stacy remains mute while Dani’s gaze shifts between Vikki and the glasses. “This is great, thank you.”
Vikki simply nods and spirits away.
“That’s some anticipation,” Dani comments.
“Evidently Xander saw to it I don’t go thirsty.” I lift my fresh glass and take a drink while turning to the stage to watch the man consuming my thoughts.
“Speaking of, are you hooking up with him after he and his band are done? Cause I’m ready to head home, but I don’t want to leave until I know you’re either coming home too or you’ll be in good hands.”
“Did you two talk?” Stacy asks. “Are you seriously considering… you know…” She wiggles her brows.
I laugh. “Yes, we talked.” I turn to Dani.
“And if by hooking up you mean going to have sex with him, then no.” I flick my gaze back to Stacy before taking a quick drink.
“Jesus, give me a little more credit, ladies. It’s been a while, but I’m not jumping in bed with the first guy to show me interest.”
“Good thing, because then you’d have had sex with Crazy Carl from the coffee shop.”
We all bust up laughing at Dani’s quip, because, yeah, a drifter who frequents the Boca Village area where we often meet for coffee loves to chat us up.
Me in particular once he found out I’m a counselor after I started chatting back.
Yeah, after a few encounters, he seemed harmless and actually mentally sharp, so I offered coffee and got into a discussion about social services.
With references he’s made, Carl seems to be near my age, but with his weathered skin, it’s difficult to tell.
Any who…
Stacy breaks the silence. “But, you’re staying, aren’t you? To talk more with Xander?”
I pause, looking over at the man who’s the center of discussion before looking at each of my friends. “Yes.”
“Yes? That’s it?” Dani says. “Like, are you staying here to talk? You going to your place, his place, what, Michelle? I’m not leaving until I—”
“Yes, yes, until you know I’m fine. Dani, I love you. Both of you,” I add while giving Stacy a glance. “His sister owns the bar and I met Holly, the other guitarist in the band who seems great, so I think I’m in good hands. I had one drink and I—”
“You did?” Stacy asks with wide eyes. “You haven’t had a drink in months!”
I shrug. “Felt like indulging. One chocolate martini and half a dozen seltzers mean I’m still in charge of my faculties. I’m intrigued by him.”
“Intrigued, eh? You’re attracted to that sexy beast and there’s nothing wrong with that. We trust your judgement, seeing as you haven’t shown interest in anyone since Stuart.”
Stacy gasps as if just saying his name is taboo.
“Stacy, I’m fine. It’s all right to talk about my husband. I—”
“Husband?”
We all turn at the sound of Xander’s voice.
He’s standing behind me, staring at me with a stunned look on his face.
As hard as it is to believe, I hadn’t even realized the music had stopped.
Patrons are still making plenty of conversation, but when I look to the stage, I see it’s shrouded in darkness.
It doesn’t stop the other band members from putting away their instruments.
I turn toward Xander again, ready to explain, when he speaks first.
“Fried a circuit. We’re done early for the night, so I thought...” His stare is intense, but then he drops his gaze. “I, uh, guess I’ll leave you to finish your evening with your friends.”
He starts to turn away, but I snag his hand, causing him to face me, staring at my hold on him. I let go and he meets my gaze.
“Please stay.”
Jerald’s voice booms over the microphone.
“All right folks, party’s not over. We’ll have The Breaker’s back at it tomorrow. Until then, enjoy yourselves until closing time.”
Music begins playing over the sound system as people resume their conversations.
Xander glances at Dani and Stacy who are standing, saying their good nights. Dani scoots her empty chair closer to me and waves Xander toward it.
“Sit,” she practically commands, earning a raised brow. But he lowers himself into the chair as Dani kisses my cheek and whispers, “Talk tomorrow.” Stacy then gives me a quick shoulder hug and says bye. I watch them walk away until they’re out of sight before turning to face Xander.
“I’m widowed. Fifteen months now.” My fingers find my ever-present bracelet, twirling it around my wrist as I finger each bead. It’s a technique—or nervous habit, depending on how you look at it—which helps calm me when I feel unsettled.
His face softens with that look of sorrow I’ve seen far too often over the past year. “Damn, sorry.”
“I was married fourteen years. We both met and married later in life; I was thirty-six, Stuart was forty-six. It was a good marriage; a great marriage,” I quickly amend.
“What happened?” Xander asks.
“Aortic aneurysm last spring. Took him quick, which was a blessing. But it was a total shock. Stuart was healthy. He was a physician.” I stare off for a moment before returning my gaze to him. “It was a rough go of it for about six months. Thank goodness for my friends.”
“They seem to really care for you; look out for you.”
I smile. “Yeah. I’m pretty lucky.” I take a drink just as Vikki sweeps by, placing a beer in front of Xander. Before she has a chance to flit away, Xander surprises her by placing it back on the tray and asking for ice water.
“Oh, sure thing.”
Once she’s gone, he grins at me. “Not much of a drinker anymore either. And we have a busy day tomorrow, so a hangover is not something I need.”
“Sounds like you’re due to perform again. Well, provided the fried circuit gets taken care of?”
“Scheduled to play in the afternoon, so we’ll see how it goes. Jerald has a buddy who’s an electrician, and I’m betting he’ll be here first thing in the morning.”
I simply nod as I take another drink. Vikki returns immediately, placing a glass of water in front of Xander. He offers a thanks before taking a drink himself. We both sit in awkward silence for a moment.
“So—” We say at the same time. I smile as Xander starts again.
“Any plans for tomorrow evening?”
“Well, there’s this musician I met…”
“He any good?” Xander grins.
I chuckle. “More than good, actually. Probably has all the ladies vying for his attention so I’m not sure he’ll have time for me.”
“He’d be an idiot not to make time for you.” His tone is serious as he fixes his gaze me, his eyes almost smoldering.
I hold his stare. “I thought I’d see if he wanted to join me at the Delray Beach Playhouse for—”
“Kevin James, Adam Sandler, and Anjelah Johnson.”
“Yes,” I chuckle. “Don’t tell me you already have tickets.”