Chapter 8 Letting it Slip
eight
Letting it Slip
Matthew walks into my room the next morning before seven without knocking. He sits down on my desk chair.
“I think you’re picking up bad habits from the Army.” I glare at the alarm clock sitting on my nightstand. “What happened to my brother who could sleep in until noon?”
“He got engaged.” He appears to be floating, or maybe just bouncing on my chair. The motion, or his aura of bliss, is making me nauseous.
“What do you want now?” I pull the covers to my chin. “I’m not planning your wedding.”
“Don’t worry, Kendra has that part covered.”
I know,” I mumble. Kendra showed me a scrapbook she’s kept for years—wedding ideas from the perfect dress to the place settings for dinner.
“So...” Matthew begins. I don’t like the inflection in his voice.
“What?”
“Michael tells me you two have a date.”
I groan and roll over so my back is to him. “I agreed to go to a party with him, as a friend.”
“I told you, you'd like him."
"As a friend," I repeat. "I have a boyfriend."
Matthew raises his eyebrows, but doesn't comment. He stands up to go. “Like I said, it doesn’t hurt to keep your options open.”
“Wait, Matt.” I climb out of bed. There's something that has been bothering me ever since I told Michael I'd go with him to the party. I lower my voice. “How rich is Michael’s family, anyway?”
“Does that interest you?”
“No,” I’m annoyed again. “I’m just not sure what I should wear to the party.”
“Why don’t you ask Michael?” Matthew stands with one hand on the doorknob. “I don’t know anything about clothes.”
There’s no way I can get back to sleep now. I don’t want to risk running into Michael on his way out of the shower again, so I wrap up in a blanket and open up my laptop. I haven’t checked my email for almost two days.
I have two emails from Jacob. That’s never happened before. Usually, I have to wait days before he answers one of my emails. He’s never sent one when I didn’t send an almost immediate response.
Jess,
Sorry it's taken so long to answer. I've been on patrol for a while, doing sweeps. Basically finding and detonating IED’s (homemade explosives.) They're one of the biggest hazards around here. They can be hidden anywhere on the road and in anything and they do a lot of damage.
Most of the time things are slow. We spend a lot of time on equipment maintenance. The sand gets into everything so it's a constant battle to keep everything running.
I’m not sure what Christmas will be like here. I know we’re getting some kind of a dinner, but I think that I’m on patrol that whole day, so it won’t be much different from the other days I’m here. I wish we could be together. I miss you.
Love,
Jacob
I study the email looking for any evidence that Jacob thinks of me as his girlfriend. He always closes his emails, Love Jacob, never Love you, or I love you. I don’t sign my emails that way either. This is the first time it’s bothered me.
Even my friends close their e-mails with, Love ya. We’ve been big on saying that since we all moved away to college. If my friends Jasmine and Taryn can say it, why can't Jacob?
Dumb.
Despite what I said to Michael, I can still obsess over what guys are thinking, or more appropriately, what one guy is thinking.
Matthew is at my door again, but he doesn’t come in. Now he respects my privacy. “I know you’re up, Jess,” he says through the doorway. “Mike’s getting ready to leave. He wants to say goodbye.”
Reluctantly, I pull myself away from the computer. The other email from Jacob will be a treat for later. I’ll write him back a long one with all the details of skiing and Matt’s engagement. Well, maybe not all the details.
I pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and twist my hair up on top of my head. I don’t care how I look around Michael, but he’s seen me in my pajamas enough already.
Mom made crepes, my favorite breakfast. I grab a plate so I'll get some before my brothers come down. “Did Michael already leave?” I ask between bites.
“I think he’s upstairs getting his stuff,” Mom says. She adds two links of sausage to my plate. I’ll have to go for a long run when it warms up to work all this off.
“Where’s Matt?”
“Getting ready to go to Kendra’s.” Mom slides another crepe out of the pan. “So I guess no one gets to sleep this morning.”
“Not unless you count Tyler. He’s probably going to be out until noon.”
“Lucky kid,” Mom says. Tomorrow, when Michael is gone, I’m sure we’ll all be sleeping in and eating cereal for breakfast.
Matt comes strolling in, whistling as he walks. I wonder when his euphoria will wear off. “Good morning, Jess. Sleep well?”
“Not long enough,” I mutter, just loud enough for him to hear.
“Maybe the guys will stop bugging you if you get a little less beauty sleep.” That’s about as close to a compliment as I ever get from Matt. He sits down and digs into the crepes.
Mom slides another crepe onto the plate in front of us. “Save some for Michael and Tyler and Dad.”
“Their fault if they miss out,” Matt says, around a mouthful. “Maybe they should learn to get up earlier or move faster.”
I look at Matt for a minute. “Did you ever get around to telling Kendra that you’re going to Iraq?”
I realize my mistake instantly. The look that simultaneously crosses Mom and Matt’s faces leave no doubt. The question of whether Kendra knows anything about Matthew being deployed hangs in the air. The reality that Mom hasn’t found out yet is answered immediately.