Chapter 37 Rifts
thirty-seven
Rifts
Ihear the argument before I get out of bed—my brother Nate, and our step-dad Steve, going at it.
I’m surprised they lasted this long. Last night, Christmas Eve, was tolerable, not pleasant.
More like strained with an aching hole. I keep reminding myself that Gage wouldn’t have been here anyway, even if he weren’t dead.
Angel showed up late last night. Her arms were full of presents.
She had a kiss for Mom and a hug for Steve and me.
Mom and Steve are trying to be tolerant.
We all know Angel and Nate are living together.
Mom has never approved of “shacking up,” as she calls it, but for the sake of peace she’s keeping her mouth shut.
Ironically, it sounds like “peace” is what they’re arguing about. From what I can gather from the conversation, now more than loud enough to overhear, Angel and Nate want to skip out on Christmas and go to some peace rally.
“Anti-military is more like it.” Steve’s voice is even, but I recognize the calm before the storm.
“This is how we’re choosing to celebrate Christmas. I thought you were Christians—that peace is what Christmas is all about.” Angel's argument might be more believable if she hadn’t already expressed her opinions on the general stupidity of any kind of religion.
Steve loses it, shouting at Nathan, “How can you do this to your mom? You’re going to leave her alone on Christmas and go off to some anti-military rally.
How can you go against everything your brothers have fought for?
You wouldn’t even attend Gage’s memorial service, but you’re willing to skip out on your family to go against what he died for? ”
Nate’s voice is almost as loud. “Don’t tell me what I’m doing to my mom.
Not after all that you’ve done to her. After all you’ve done to us.
You were never part of this family. You were always out chasing glory, looking for a fight, while Mom took care of everything.
And then when you got too old to go yourself, you filled my brothers’ heads with your war stories.
You started living through them. You sent them off to die for your ego, and now you have the audacity to tell me I’m not being fair to my mom or loyal to my brothers. ”
He pauses, and I hear the hurt and the shock in the silence.
He starts up again. “You were never a dad to me, and you were barely one to your own son. Now he’s gone, and you’re still spouting off the same red, white, and blue rhetoric that you filled our heads with when we were too young to know any better.
I’ve grown up now, Steve. I’ve learned to think for myself.
You can’t keep giving orders and expect me to follow them blindly. ”
“Nate, stop.” Mom’s voice cracks. “You aren’t being fair. You’re entitled to your opinion, but I can’t let you treat my husband and the only father you’ve ever had that way. We did the best we could. We’re all hurting over Gage’s death. We can’t let it destroy our family.”
“Steve is not part of my family,” Nate spits out the words. “I’m sorry, Mom, but as long as he lives here, don’t expect me to come back.”
“Nathan, please don't—.”
I can’t stand the desperation in Mom's voice. I get out of bed. Maybe I can talk some sense into my brother.
The door slams before I make it to the front room. I follow him into the street. “Don’t do this.”
Nathan doesn’t even turn around. “I can do whatever I want, Jake. I’m not under his thumb anymore. I don’t have to follow orders.”
“For Mom’s sake.”
“I’m sorry about Mom. I guess she’s a casualty of all of this. You’re a soldier, right? You know all about casualties. Do yourself a favor and get out of the Army before you become one too.”
His attitude disgusts me. “Grow up, Nate. Go back in there and face Mom. Tell her you’re sorry.”
“Ha,” Angel sniffs, “you grow up, soldier boy. Playing with guns, trying to play hero in a place where we don't belong.”
I turn on her. “You stay out of this. This isn’t your business anyway.”
“Don’t talk to her that way,” Nathan snaps. “I should have known you'd take his side. You’re just like him, Jake. You’ve always been Daddy’s little soldier. I’m done with this. Go ahead and get yourself blown up too. Don’t expect me to cry over it.”
Angel wraps her arm around him, and I watch them walk away and get into his car. I’m too hurt and too furious to do anything to stop him.