Chapter 41 Lost
forty-one
Lost
I’m not sure how I got here. Sitting on a couch in a stranger’s apartment. Waiting for a woman I barely know to come out of the bathroom after doing whatever it is women spend so much time in the bathroom doing.
Okay, technically I do know how I got here. It’s New Year’s Eve. There was a bar, there was drinking, there was flirting, and then there was an invitation to her place. She’s definitely hot. The guys who came with me looked at me like I’d won the prize when I walked out of the bar with her.
It was too easy. I didn't have time to think about what I was doing. So here I am, in her apartment. Sitting on Candice's (or is it Cami’s?) couch.
Damn. I can’t even remember her name. Candy, that’s right. I used a dumb pick up line that implied she was my favorite treat.
What would Jess say if she knew where I was?
I push that thought out of my mind.
She’s probably sipping champagne with Michael at his parent's mansion. I should have stayed with my mom. Our talk did more harm than good. If Jess didn't hate me before, now she really does.
What am I doing here?
I haven’t been in this position for a long time. Actually, I haven’t ever been in this position exactly. I’ve never gotten to this point unless a girl meant something to me. Never someone I just met.
I need this. Something to get my mind off Jess. Something to make me feel alive again. Something to make me feel real. But this isn’t real. I didn’t drink enough to kid myself into believing that.
She’s taking forever. Giving me too much time to think.
My cell phone buzzes in my pocket. Dumb of me to even think about taking the call, but I do.
It’s Jess’ mom. She’s trying to sound calm, but there’s a note of panic in her voice. “Jess isn’t with you, is she, Jacob?”
“No.” I glance around the room, like I could actually find her. This is the last place Jess would want to be. “Why? Is she missing?”
“I’m sure it’s nothing.” She doesn’t sound like she believes that. “She went out with her friends tonight. They had a baby shower for Jasmine. Taryn called me about two hours ago and said Jess had left early. That she was acting strange. She isn’t answering her cell phone.”
“Did you try Michael?” I try to keep the bitterness out of my voice.
“I already talked to him.” Should have known she would try him first. “He’s at home across the state. He hasn’t seen her or heard from her. I’m sure it’s nothing.” I believe her even less the second time. “I’m sorry to bother you. Happy New Year, Jacob.”
She hangs up, but I hold onto the phone. I can’t stay here. Even if she hates me, I have to find Jess. I have to make sure she’s okay.
Candy comes out of the bathroom as I’m putting my jacket back on. She’s let down her hair and is wearing a lot less than she was at the bar. I turn toward the door. “I’m sorry. I have to go. A friend of mine is in trouble.”
She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. “Can’t it wait? I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
I shake her off. “I need to go. Now.”
She sticks her bottom lip out in a childish pout. “You’ll come back, won’t you? After you help your friend. It doesn’t matter how late.”
“I’m sorry.” I have my hand on the doorknob. “I don’t think I’ll make it back.”
“You have my number,” she yells after me. “Call me sometime, okay? We can get together.”
“Sure.” But I know I’ll never call her.
I get in my car, not sure where to look. I rack my brain to think of somewhere that Jess might go. Where would I go? It hits me as I pull out of the parking lot—the cemetery.
I call Mrs. Roberts back and ask her where Matt is buried.
“I should have thought of that,” she says. “I’ll tell Paul to go there.”
“No, don’t.” I want to be the one to find her. “I’m on my way now. I’ll let you know if she’s there.”
It’s pouring rain. The wind howls, making the trees at the edge of the cemetery bend and twist as if they’re alive.
“Jess!” Her name disappears into the wind.
It’s a big cemetery. I should have asked where Matt’s grave is.
I keep walking, yelling her name every few steps. I reach the far end without seeing her.
I circle around the other side, my voice gone. I’m drenched and freezing. This is stupid. She’s probably on her way to see Michael. Even Jess wouldn’t be crazy enough to be sitting in a cemetery in weather like this. I turn to go, but then see her car parked on the other side of a huge cedar tree.
She is here.