8. Kate
Chapter 8
Kate
R eturning to Hilltop was a catastrophic mistake. The weight of it settles deep in my gut like an earthquake, shaking me to my core. This isn't a leisurely vacation to Miami, New York, or Cabo. But I can't afford a luxury trip to any of those destinations. I’ve avoided home for the past two and a half years, even finding a way to stay in Austin the last two Christmases. But time was up, and my father threatened to cut off my extra spending money if I didn’t suck it up and get my behind home. So here I am, back in Hilltop, the one place filled with family, comfort and devastating heartbreak.
After enduring a three-hour car ride, I finally arrived home. Nothing’s changed but everything feels different. Despite calls and pop-ins by friends and family urging me into town, I’ve barricaded myself inside the house, terrified of running into Silas. I should have trusted my instincts and stayed in Austin for the summer and promised to come for Calvin’s wedding. It would have forced me to scrimp and miss a few social activities, but it wouldn’t have placed me in this awkward position of impersonating a hermit.
"Why don't you join your aunt and I at her cabin, pumpkin?” My mom barges into my room and heads straight for my closet, tossing out swimsuits, shorts, and a baggy t-shirt with "Hilltop Coyotes" written on it. “You've been cooped up here long enough. How often do we get such beautiful weather? Your Aunt Jane keeps saying it's like Southern California out there and now that your uncle and the boys have gone back to work, we can have it all to ourselves—just us girls."
“I’m not in the mood, Mama.” I grab the shirt and run my fingers over the frayed edges, worn letters, and the number eleven printed on the back. It used to be my favorite— Silas's practice jersey when he was Hilltop High’s starting quarterback. But it's been years since I've worn it, and I deliberately left it behind when I moved to Austin, hoping to forget about him and all the little things that made me fall in love with him. And if I remember correctly, I almost burned it in my dad's barbecue pit right after I cut Silas out of my life.
I hold up the burgundy shirt and breathe in the faint scent of Silas’s cologne. My skin tingles with old emotions I wish I could bury. He was my first love, and I fear no one can replace him. Maybe my friends are right; I need to move on and give the guys at school a chance. But I can’t. The mere thought makes my skin crawl.
“Have a nice time with Aunt Jane. Besides, you know I burn easily, and Leah wants to see later today, and I think it may rain later.” As I rattle off my rehearsed excuses, Mama's face contorts into a deep frown, causing her usually bright eyes to narrow and nearly disappear.
“For heaven’s sake, Katie, you’ll have to see Silas Gentry sooner or later. You can’t hide all summer and you can’t hold on to your grudge forever. He wanted to do right by you, and you took it as a rejection. Besides, your brother confessed he put that bee in Silas’s bonnet, and you sealed it by giving the poor boy an ultimatum.” My mom exaggerates as she pleads Silas’s case. She’s always had a soft spot for him. Ever since he saved her champion beagle, Miss Honey, from an oncoming car when he was twelve, she’s thought the world of him.
I avoid my mother's piercing stare, trying to block out her words as I fold the jumbled clothes and place them neatly on my dresser. "Calvin's apology changes nothing. And just so you know, I haven't forgiven him. There's no point in seeking revenge when he's too self-centered to even notice." With a deep exhale, I lift my head to meet my mother's eyes. "Silas should have told me the whole truth and fought harder to keep me. I loved him with all my heart, Mama. We were supposed to marry and have babies, and he threw it all away. I'd chased after him for years, hoping and longing for his attention and just when everything felt perfect, he broke my heart!" Frustrated, I throw my arms up and stomp into the bathroom, praying that my mother stays put and doesn’t follow me. Why does everyone seem to forget that man shattered my heart into a million pieces?
"Katherine Eleanor Benson, you get your stubborn butt back into that messy room and pack your things for the cabin. I won't tolerate any more sass, young lady. We are leaving in thirty minutes and by the grace of God, we will have a glorious time!" The sound of Mom's foot stomping echoes through the hallway as she points her finger at me, her determined expression bringing me to Jesus.
“Fine! But we better not run into Silas or I’m going to pitch the biggest fit you’ve ever seen,” I mutter, pouting as I shuffle my feet towards my room. There’s little chance of running into him in such a remote place. His granddad’s farm is on the other side of the hills, but I believe there’s enough space to keep the next few days Silas-free. At least, Mama better hope so.
“You’ve got me shaking in my flip-flops,” Mama scoffs, rolling her eyes and descending the stairs with exaggerated steps. She mimics my voice and mocks me mercilessly. “Get moving, Katie. You’re going to have fun if it kills you.”