Chapter 14 Lily
LILY
I was back where I started—drinking a bottle of wine alone at my dining table.
Are you okay, Sunieth?
No.
Is there anything I can do?
I stared at the wineglass in front of me. No. I just wanted to be left alone to think, but it was hard to think when a cloud of misery blanketed my thoughts. It was like trying to take a breath when you were drowning—it just made it worse.
I had to get Callum out of the underworld, and now I had to do it alone.
How would I accomplish that?
A knock sounded on the door. “It’s me.” It was my brother.
“It’s open,” I said without getting up from my chair, still sitting in my armor and sword because I didn’t even think about taking it off. I was ready to spring into action, except I didn’t know where to take that action.
Hawk made his way inside, staring at me warily like I might punch him in the face even though he’d done nothing wrong. He pulled out the chair and took a seat, sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. Didn’t ask if I was okay.
Good.
Didn’t ask what happened with Dad, like he already knew. “What’s your plan?” It turned out he knew me better than Dad because he knew this wasn’t the end.
“I don’t know yet.”
“I’m here, whatever you need.”
My eyes had been more interested in the wine in front of me, but I turned my full attention to him instead. “You mean that?”
He stared at me for several seconds before he gave a single nod.
It meant the world to me, but I was too heartbroken to show it.
“But I don’t see a way.”
“No.”
“The skull rock you described… Was it a door? Like the Realm of Caelum?”
“I couldn’t see one. But I suspect Leviathan guards it the way Aunt Eldinar guards the Great Tree. The second I cross this invisible line in the dirt, all the torches are illuminated, and he appears.”
“Like a signal fire.”
“Yeah.”
“So…you’d have to beat him to get to the door.”
I nodded.
“And you don’t think you can?” he asked honestly.
I nearly laughed. “No. This demon is eight feet tall and covered in horns and has rows of teeth.”
“Well, there are two of us…and we have Zehemoth.”
I gave a slight shake of my head. “We’d all get our heads chopped off.”
“But you still have Wrath’s strength.”
“I know, but I’m not sure if it would be enough. I don’t want to risk you two unless I’m confident we have a chance of victory. And if I don’t, then Wrath is never getting out of there, so that accomplishes nothing.”
He gave a nod then fell into contemplative silence once again.
We sat there for a long time, both of us elsewhere in our minds.
“You could ask Aunt Eldinar to petition Riviana, God of Caelum, to open the portal on your behalf.”
I shook my head. “You know how close she is to Dad.”
“But you did save the forest.”
“Well, Wrath did.”
“Then you have leverage. It’s worth a try.”
It already killed me to beg my father for help and be denied. I didn’t want to be disappointed again.
“I say you exhaust all options before we prepare to fight that demon.”
“We aren’t fighting that demon, Hawk.”
“If that’s our last and final option…” He gave a shrug. “What else are we going to do? Maybe General Viper will help us. Maybe Movack will come. Grab a few other great fighters and corner the demon.”
I cocked my head as I regarded him. “Why are you so involved in this?” I’d expected Dad to jump to my aid while Hawk lacked interest, but it turned out to be the complete opposite. Dad was the one who’d abandoned me, and my brother was the one who had my back.
He was quiet for a long time, rubbing one of his arms as he considered the answer. “I know what he means to you—and what you meant to him.”
I was touched beyond words. A horrible shadow had come over the Southern Isles, but the rain had watered a seed that had grown into a beautiful flower—and our relationship was that flower.
It brought us close together when we’d almost felt like strangers.
“Sometimes I forget you’re the only person who’s seen him except for me. ”
He gave a nod. “He’s hard to forget.”
“If Wrath were here, Dad would understand.” Wrath could speak to him face-to-face, and a relationship could develop. In time, my father would love him like a son…and would do whatever it took to bring him back. But we didn’t have that luxury, unfortunately.
“Yeah, maybe.”
“I didn’t expect Dad to abandon me like this. After everything I’ve done to prove myself, I thought he would accept my love without question. But he treats me like I’m a fool, like I don’t understand, when he’s the one who doesn’t understand.”
“I’m not surprised.”
I raised my eyebrow.
“He doesn’t like to take risks. And this is a big risk.”
“We aren’t gambling at the pub for a pile of coins.”
“But in his eyes, he’s already won the pile, and now he’s pushing his winnings back into the pot. He escaped the underworld, but once the portal is open, will he have to honor the debt he escaped?”
“Did he tell you these things?”
“No, but I know how he thinks. It’s what I would fear.”
We fell into a heavy silence, both of us pondering what the other had said. I refilled my glass of wine and drank it in the meantime, the fire in the hearth burning low until it was nearly out.
“I’ll leave for Riviana Star in the morning,” I said.
Hawk’s eyes moved back to me. “Want me to come with you?”
“No, it’s okay. This is something I have to do on my own.”
At first light, I grabbed my pack and mounted Zehemoth, and we made our way across the Great Sea. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going except for Hawk, so if my father worried about my whereabouts, he could figure out where I’d gone.
When he didn’t come to my villa to talk things over, I knew he was as upset about things as I was. My father was stubborn, even more stubborn than I was, but I still hoped that his heart would be bigger than his stiff spine.
Guess I was wrong.
It took the entire day to cross the Great Sea and the Northern Kingdoms. It was dark by the time we reached the outskirts of Riviana Star, and Zehemoth came in for a landing outside in the wildlands.
We worked together to build a bonfire of sticks and branches, and he lit it ablaze so he would have light when he was left alone.
I headed into Riviana Star, and the guards were prepared to take me since Zehemoth had informed Macabre that I was there. Aunt Eldinar expected me, and after marching an hour into the forest until we reached the heart of it, I finally came face-to-face with my aunt.
Despite the late hour, she was impeccably dressed, wearing a long-sleeved white gown with a flower crown in her hair, her eyes vibrant like it was morning rather than night. She embraced me with a long hug before she stepped back. “You must be weary. I have a tree house ready for you.”
I wasn’t tired the way I used to be. The depression that had absorbed into my body was so potent I was always in a state of nothingness.
I was neither tired nor energized, just floating in a strange form of existence.
“I’m too anxious for rest. I came here to speak to Riviana—if she’ll accept my audience. ”
It seemed unlikely that she’d spoken to my parents recently because of the distance, but Aunt Eldinar was more astute than the average person, either because of the long life she’d already lived or because she was simply gifted with a greater shrewdness.
But she gave me this look…like she understood.
“To discuss the god who’s bestowed these gifts upon you? ”
I nodded. “Yes.”
She continued to stare at me, like she wanted more from me before she intervened, but she didn’t pry.
So I told her the truth, told her my version of the tale, so she’d have both sides when my father shared his perspective. It took time I didn’t want to expend, nearly twenty minutes, but she deserved to know if she would grant me this favor.
“Now you seek to save him from the underworld?”
“Yes—and I won’t stop until I’ve done everything I can.”
“Did he ask you to save him?”
“No. If it were up to him, he’d want me to move on.”
“And that’s not an option for you?”
I shook my head. “Never.” Tears welled in my heart at the thought. I didn’t want to meet someone else and fall in love. I didn’t want to have a husband and feel the burden of betrayal every single day. I didn’t want to wonder what would have been if I’d been able to free Callum.
“And you believe this isn’t a deceit?”
“Never,” I said as I shook my head. “My father is suspicious like you. I hoped he would be at my side right now like he’s always been, but he’s made it clear I’m on my own.” I felt the acid in my throat from the resentment.
“I know it feels like he loves you less, but remember, it means he loves you more. All he wants is to protect you, and logically, keeping you away from a god who grants favors in exchange for souls is the best way to do that.”
“It was a position he never wanted.”
“Remember that your father pictures a very different man than the one you speak of. He pictures a demon with horns that laid siege to this forest to compromise the afterlife. The creature that left your father permanently physically and emotionally scarred. It’s hard for him to imagine a man who’s not evil… but good.”
“I get that, but—”
“Bahamut is the person your father fears above all others. And the idea that his daughter could be cast under his spell…are the shadows in his nightmares.”
“If he met Wrath, he would understand.”
“But unfortunately, that’s not possible,” she said. “Try to treat your father with empathy…whenever you can.”
I dropped my gaze and gave a nod. “Will you grant me an audience with Riviana?”
She stared at me for a while, ethereal in her beauty, a dim glow around her outline that followed her wherever she went. She gave a slight nod, one so slight I wasn’t sure if she had issued it. But then stepped around me, barefoot, and led the way.