Chapter 19 Callum
CALLUM
I hit the ground, my body on its side, dirt on my cheek. Sunlight so bright made my eyes squint in protest. I could already smell the salt from the sea just a few hundred feet away. The horror flashed across my mind, and I jerked upright and gasped for the air I’d forgotten to breathe. “Lily.”
I climbed to my feet but stumbled forward into the dirt again when I found her.
Dead on the ground.
Tears poured down my cheeks like rivers, and I choked on my own sob. “No, no, no…” I quickly crawled to her and grabbed her, gently shook her as I continued to sob, put my fingers to her neck to check for a pulse, even though I knew beyond doubt that she was dead.
Because I’d seen her descent into the underworld.
“Lily, no.” I gathered her in my arms and held her to me, sobbing in her hair, being punished by a wave of despair worse than anything I’d ever felt. “How could you do this to me? How could you fucking do this to me?”
Thud.
I continued to hold Lily and ignore what it was that joined us, probably one of her dragons. I trembled as I held her, the shaking uncontrollable, the tears so thick they blurred my vision.
Then I heard it, the strange coughing, shaking noise from the creature.
I looked up to see the black dragon trembling, making inexplicable noises with its jaw.
He moved his closed mouth to her, grazing her cheek as he continued to shake.
It took me a while to understand it was crying. It just didn’t shed tears like I did.
I gently laid her down and backed away.
The dragon moved over her, resting his face to her forehead like he was kissing her.
I hadn’t slept in four hundred years, but I prayed this was a nightmare.
This was worse than Anya believing I would abandon her.
This was worse than saying goodbye to my sons.
This was worse than watching them grow old and die while I could only stand by.
This was the single worst thing that had ever happened to me. “Why did you do this?”
The dragon pulled his mouth away from Lily then lowered himself to look me in the eye. His eyes were dark, and he continued to make his coughing sounds, but he didn’t seem hostile toward me.
He didn’t seem to blame me for this…when he should.
“I don’t want this.” It was all I could think of to say in my state of shock.
It was the most traumatic moment of my life, watching her descend below to an unbearable existence just so I could live a mortal life without her.
“I would never want this.” To make it worse, time passed slower her in the mortal world than down below, so she’d already been there for a day even though it had been just moments for me.
I couldn’t think about what had happened to her.
Zehemoth motioned to his back, like he wanted me to climb into his saddle.
I was still shocked to my core, paralyzed by utter devastation, so I couldn’t move.
This time, he gave me a push with his snout, stopping himself from crying to issue his orders. Then he shoved me again, harder, and let out a plume of smoke from his nostrils, like there was some urgency.
I finally got to my feet, tears soaking my face, and climbed into the saddle at his back.
He gently grabbed Lily with one of his big claws, and we left the island and jumped into the sky.
Flew high over the ocean but beneath the cloud bank.
It was the first time I’d been on the back of a dragon, and I felt the wind against my face at this speed, felt the beat of my heart in my chest as a mortal.
But there was nothing to savor about it.
I didn’t have to wipe away my own tears, not when the wind in my face did it for me.
It was the first time I’d been alive in four hundred years, but I was so devastated that I felt more dead than I ever had.
Sometimes I would hear Zehemoth give out a strange choke or a cough, as if he was still crying on and off.
Why did she do this?
How could she do this to me?
I knew what horrors awaited her down there. I knew what they would do to her. I knew they would harvest her soul because of the potency in its power. And I was supposed to live a mortal life without her?
I’d rather be dead without her.
What was the point of this?
Her sacrifice wasn’t romantic. I would much rather suffer endlessly than let her shed a single tear. I would much rather she find someone else and settle down with a couple of kids while I faded into nothingness.
This is the very last thing I would ever want.
We traveled all day and eventually approached the Southern Isles at dusk.
If an entire day passed for me, then several had passed for her.
I was tortured by the possibilities. The fact that she needed help and I couldn’t do a damn thing.
I protected her as a mortal, gifted her my strength, but now I was a helpless human who could do nothing for her.
Zehemoth approached the cliffs and came in for a landing.
The guards along the courtyard must have noticed Lily hanging dead in his claw because a loud horn sounded, long and low in its baritone, projecting a warning through the entire kingdom.
I gripped the horn as the despair hit me.
The queen was dead.
Zehemoth landed in the courtyard gently, careful not to use the claw that held Lily. He gently placed her down on the stone where she lay still.
I jumped down and landed harder than I meant to, not used to the heft of my body as a man, not used to the effects of gravity against stone. “Lily…” I moved to her, wrapped her in my arms, and held her as I grieved all over again, refusing to believe this was real.
The first person to appear was her brother Hawk, dressed in his general’s uniform and armor like he’d just returned from the soldiers’ barracks. The torches at the castle were already lit to greet the darkness, and he stopped twenty feet away, eyes wide in horror at the sight before him.
He was shocked, just as shocked as I’d been.
“Lily.” When his brain processed what his eyes desperately tried to share, he ran over and skidded to his knees at her side.
“What the hell happened?” Both of his hands went to her neck to check for a pulse, and when he found none, his eyes watered in despair.
He didn’t look at me, but up at Zehemoth, like the two of them were having a conversation.
It took all my strength to let her go, but I knew her brother had the right to hold her.
He held her in his arms as he looked down at her, his tears splashing on her face. He gave a loud sniff, looked at Zehemoth, and then looked at me.
His eyes recognized me immediately, contracting as they swept across my face. I wasn’t in my uniform and armor the way he’d seen me in the past, instead in the attire I’d worn when I’d made the deal with Bahamut centuries ago, but he still knew it was me.
“I don’t know why she did this.” It was all I could say. “I didn’t want this.”
He looked down at her again before he gently laid her back down on the stone, her eyes closed and peaceful, like she could be asleep. “She asked our father to get you back from the underworld. He said no. She went to Riviana, who declined to help. She ran out of options, so—”
“She knew I didn’t want this.” My chest cracked when another wave of tears filled my eyes.
He continued. “But she knew if it were her down there…Dad would never stop until he got her back.”
My eyes turned to the dragon, knowing he was the one who knew about the plan because he’d taken her there and returned her body.
“She said it was the only way you two could be together.”
“It’s too risky.” I said it to myself rather than to anyone out loud. Admonished her even though her spirit was somewhere I couldn’t reach.
Hawk nodded in agreement.
The double doors to the castle opened audibly, the weight of the wood so massive it took several men to turn them on their hinges.
Hawk’s stare immediately went to the doors. “He might kill you…”
I watched as her father came into view with her mother beside him, dressed in his normal clothing because he was probably still recovering from the wound that was being healed by the platinum. I assumed Lily had been successful in her endeavor if he wasn’t incapacitated in bed.
He rushed forward with Lily’s mother, but then he came to a dramatic halt when he understood the sight before him.
I averted my eyes, unable to watch, knowing no father should ever have to see this. I’d visited Tiberius and Darius until their time came. But when I knew the moment of their passing was close, I didn’t go back. Because no father should ever have to watch their child die.
“Lily.” He sprinted toward us, crossing the courtyard like he’d been stabbed with a cursed blade.
He dropped to his knees without giving any indication of pain in his knees.
“Zunieth.” He felt her face, checked her pulse just the way Hawk had, and the sobs he released were unlike anything I’d ever heard.
Calista dropped down beside him, but she was paralyzed with shock, her hands cupping her mouth in horror as she wept.
He cried the way Zehemoth did, all the bones in his chest shifting as his muscles spasmed in grief.
His mouth flooded with cries that came out like howls from the dead.
He started to blubber, started to shake, grabbing his daughter and pulling her into him in a hug, tears pouring down his handsome face. “My baby…”
I clenched my eyes shut, the devastation growing worse as I was forced to watch this.
“What happened?” he asked through his tears, addressing Hawk without looking at him.
Hawk hesitated, propped up on his knees with his head bowed. “Because you wouldn’t help her get Wrath back…and Riviana denied her request, she decided to take his place…knowing you would stop at nothing to get her back.”
Her father had trembled uncontrollably a moment ago, but then his entire body went still as he held her. He even stopped breathing, the rivers of tears running dry like a desert. He gently placed her back on the ground, and I prepared myself for the flames of rage that would burn me alive.
But he looked at Zehemoth with a stone-cold stare.
“You knew.” He bent his knee then stood up.
“You knew, and you took her there anyway.” Then he screamed, screamed so loud the castle seemed to tremble in its wake.
“You knew and you didn’t stop it!” He moved past Hawk, grabbed the sword across his back by the hilt without even looking at it, and then came for Zehemoth. “I’ll skin every scale off your body!”
“Dad.”
Zehemoth backed away, giving his tearless sobs as he choked and coughed, grieving as hard for Lily as her own father.
“Dad, stop this.” Hawk grabbed him by the arm and tugged him back.
But Talon had a surge of inexplicable strength and shoved his own son to the ground then came for Zehemoth again.
“Rooooaaaaaarrrrrr!” The mighty roar of a dragon came from the skies overhead.
When I looked up, I saw another dragon with the same black scales, and I recognized him as Khazmuda’s, Talon’s mighty dragon and longtime companion.
Khazmuda dropped down from the sky and shoved Zehemoth aside, putting his body between Talon’s blade and his hatchling. A plume of smoke came from his angry nostrils as he stared Talon down as an enemy.
A long stare ensued between the two, a conversation passing between them no one could hear.
Khazmuda seemed to bring Talon back from the brink of destructive rage, because Talon lowered the blade at his side then dropped to his knees before he fell forward, his head in his hands on the stone, struggling to process the unbearable pain that consumed his mind, body, and soul.
Khazmuda stepped forward and lowered his snout to Talon’s back then closed his eyes. Then he made the same sounds Zehemoth had just made, tearless cries.
It fell silent, everyone mourning Lily as she lay on the ground, cold to the touch. I felt out of place among her family, who had loved her since she was born. She was the love of my life, the woman I loved at first sight, but I felt unworthy.
The minutes trickled by as everyone sobbed around Lily, her soul so far away that she couldn’t see how much she was loved.
Talon shakily rose to his feet, his strong shoulders drooping, his spine hunched like he didn’t have the strength to stand tall. He stared at Khazmuda for a long moment before he slowly turned his head and looked at me.
The look on his face…was worse than the sight of Lily on the ground.
The handsome features of his face were contorted in a mural of despair.
His jaw trembled with the sobs he tried to suppress, and his eyes blistered from the tears that continued to fall like rain.
He breathed with his lips parted, heaved every few seconds like his body couldn’t get the air it needed to continue.
His face was tinted the color of blood from the rage that pounded beneath the flesh, but he was paralyzed by the grief his body couldn’t reject.
I’d never seen a man so overcome with loss.
I waited for him to pick up the sword and charge me with it.
Give the same threat he’d just given to Zehemoth a moment ago.
But he seemed too broken to fight. He swayed on the spot before he moved back to Lily on the ground.
He dropped to his knees once more, scooped her into his arms, and sobbed once again.