Chapter Seventeen
“There is no end, only the beginning of Forever.”
—Unknown
Seven did not expect to stand in the darkness yet see perfectly well.
She did not expect to stand at all.
Surely, she was no more. She even felt herself being snuffed out of existence like a magic trick. A candle smothered by a gust of wind.
Technically, she was no more. At least physically.
For though she felt as if she was standing, when she looked down, there was nothing. Only darkness. She had no form, and there was no ground. She could be upside down for all she knew, for the darkness didn’t have dimensions.
It was simply endless.
Yet…
She could see it. Feel it. Almost like comfort, it surrounded her. She was calm and peaceful, in a way she’d never been before.
Maybe she was floating. Maybe this was outer space. There was no light in space, right? And if she didn’t really exist, then she didn’t need oxygen to breathe.
Maybe she was a speck of dust in the Universe, just casually drifting around, but retained a light consciousness. For gods of her powers never disappeared, did they?
They simply were.
Indeed.
A familiar voice agreed with her. She tried to look around to find its source.
Slowly, a faint twinkle appeared before her. It grew and stretched into a form she recognized.
Shifu.
Was it her imagination or was he really here? Wherever “here” was.
The little old man smiled, she could see perfectly well.
She couldn’t recall his smiles. In her memory, he had always been so serious. Humorless. Like he had a perpetual stick up his ass.
He stroked his long, white beard, floating in the darkness before her like a ghost.
Reality and your imagination are one and the same, he said. After all, your imagination created worlds.
Your imagination created me, he emphasized, shocking her.
If she had eyelids, she would have blinked rapidly in confusion.
How could she have created him? He was the Jade Emperor’s emissary. Everyone knew that.
I have guided the dragons on their quests as much as you, he said. For I am merely an extension of your mind, am I not?
No, she argued.
You are a representation of the Old Man. The Heavenly Grandfather. August Emperor of Jade. You created the quests to test me and my dragons.
Shifu smiled again, not unkindly. The way someone would indulge a person suffering from amnesia, who needed to be reminded of the truth, but slowly and patiently.
The Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother of the West have long faded from existence, he told her. They are now the specks of stardust you think yourself to be.
That can’t be possible, Seven said, part of her staggering with disbelief.
I’ve heard his voice…
Have you? the little old man questioned. Was it real or merely a dream? A memory. Was it your own conjuring?
But…
You know that you created the Celestial Realm, the old man pointed out. You wove every part of it into being. You created your own prison after the War of the Gods, after you chose your own defeat so that the Beasts and your other creations could live.
I am far from a martyr, let’s be clear, Seven put in. I only had a moment of conscience to save Byakko’s cub.
Your son too, Shifu reminded her.
Well, she said, nonplussed. The war was my own making. It only seemed fair.
Was that the only reason? the old man challenged her.
And if he was really a figment of her imagination, then she was in fact challenging herself.
You didn’t know how to grieve when Byakko died. You couldn’t believe a being could love that much. Love you that much.
You purposely pushed him away with selfish coldness when you felt his care for you grow. You were furious at first, blaming him. Telling yourself good riddance. He was too weak. He was defective. You’d create better.
There was no better.
He was perfect, Seven whispered.
Yes, Shifu agreed matter-of-factly.
And he was gone. The regret and grief ate at you. Recall the sequence of events. Recall what the Dark Goddess said—she asked the Jade Emperor to punish you. Both of you, for she was your other half.
But it wasn’t any “punishment,” any external source, that resulted in the fact that you both grew souls. So that you’d feel the consequences of your actions more keenly. To force you to learn from your mistakes.
It was the Old Man’s doing, Seven argued, trying to make sense of it all. Trying to find the truth.
Shifu cocked his wizened white head a little, reminiscent of how Seven as Michael saw himself in the mirror.
Ever logical. Unflappable. Curious.
Souls are a consequence of your magic, Goddess. Have you never wondered why none of the other gods possessed them? Most of all the Jade Emperor and his Lady Wife.
But…they can’t be gone, Seven said, her mind racing. Worlds hadn’t been destroyed. Gods hadn’t been usurped.
Yet, even as she said this, she realized it wasn’t true.
The War of the Gods did wipe out all of the other gods, including her and her Twin to a certain extent. That fantastical world tens of thousands of years ago no longer existed.
A new age began, led by Immortals. And now by humans. The gods were gone.
But…
There have been pantheons of gods after the War, she argued.
The Egyptians, Chinese, Greeks, Romans, Scandinavians, Mayans, Celts…Countless civilizations and their different gods.
Have you never noticed that these pantheons are different from the gods you knew? Do you believe the Jade Emperor created them…or…
Or…? she whispered.
Do they remind you of you?
Seven had never thought of it that way. The new gods were vastly different than the ones she’d fought, it was true. They were somehow more refined, more emotional too. Definitely more colorful. Extravagant in their unique ways.
Who punished my Twin and held me prisoner in the aftermath then? she demanded. Why would I ever do those things to myself?
Perhaps you always knew what needed to be done, Shifu said calmly, even as you fought it. You both grew souls when Byakko died, remember? One soul split in two. Never quite complete.
Just as your spark of life was halved after the first Destruction, and thus your power as well. You set your own limitations. You provided your own comfort and Balance in your Twin.
Seven knew these statements were facts in terms of her actions. She’d simply never contemplated the subconscious motivations behind them. Not in these terms.
None of the gods possessed souls. No one could have matched your powers. No one could have stopped you if you hadn’t stopped yourself.
Shifu paused to let her soak this in.
It seemed so farfetched. But the more she thought about it, the more it also made sense.
The dragons and other Immortal Kinds were her creations. Apparently, the pantheons of human gods too. And the Celestial Realm… No one else had such power. Even the Jade Emperor had always said that her ability to create and imagine far exceeded his.
As to the wherefores of your “punishment”… Shifu went on.
You kept your powers contained. You made it impossible to abuse them, though a part of you still tried.
Lilith, she whispered.
Yes. Lilith. But Lilith is you too. Half of your spark. Half of your soul.
She’s done so much harm, Seven regretted.
As you have the potential to do, the old man reminded her.
She was afraid of being weak, Seven explained. She never gave her heart free reign.
And you never let one grow, he added.
But now I know better. The heart is the strongest of all.
Indeed, Shifu confirmed, just as matter-of-factly as before.
You learned from the quests, did you not? You challenged the dragons to discover themselves. To find their Mates. You watched with curiosity at first, a game to pass the time. But then, you became invested. You rooted for their success. And when they triumphed, you felt it too.
You wanted it too.
Yes. Shifu was right.
The more she experienced the dragons’ happiness and pain vicariously, the more she wanted them to win. She wanted them to live. To love. And she began to help them however she could, even as her own Twin tried to thwart them.
Whatever their motive, the shadows were instrumental in recent quests to pushing the dragons over the last hurdle. Pushing them to Awaken so they could protect their Mates. Inadvertently, Lilith helped too.
What am I now? Seven wondered. Simply a disembodied consciousness?
What do you want to be? Shifu asked.
You are the most powerful god in the Universe. Always have been. You and your creations could rule the world.
I don’t want to rule, she immediately answered. Despite her other half’s machinations, it was the truth.
I’ve never wanted it. The Old Man didn’t rule either. He simply watched and guided. But I don’t want that either. I know now that even gods can’t interfere with free will. Especially if it’s driven by true love.
She was silent for a long while, gathering her thoughts.
What did she want? More importantly, what was the right thing to do?
What would Benjamin do if he were here with her? He would know for sure. Benjamin was everything good and pure and fair.
At last, it came to her. Even the power-hungry, selfish part of her reluctantly agreed.
I want my creations and the humans to determine their own Destiny, she pronounced. Every soul is unique. What will be will be.
What if they destroy themselves? Shifu probed. The past always repeats.
Then they will begin again, Seven said with confidence.
The strongest souls never die. They will learn and adapt. They will find their own way.
You are relinquishing your godhood forever, then? the old man asked, just to be absolutely sure.
You do not cling to existence?
This is no way to exist, Seven answered. This disembodied nothingness.
Then what?
I think the world no longer needs gods, she said slowly. With every word, her confidence grew.
This was the right thing to do. Benjamin would approve.
My dragons and the Immortals will protect the Balance without my interference. They all have Mates now. They all have Balance.
Except for your Mate, the old man pointed out.
Well, I’ll have to do something about that, won’t I? Seven said smartly.
Shifu’s mustache twitched with a smile, reflecting the growing joy and hope that Seven felt.
Wait for me, Benjamin, her thoughts reached into the ether.
I’m coming.
We might not know each other whatever I become in the time that I become it. But we’ll meet again. I promise.
Wait for me…
Shifu’s form faded into the darkness. Seven’s consciousness subsided.
And all was serene, silent darkness once more.
~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~* ~ *~ * ~
Two weeks had gone by. This was Ben’s last day of vigilance at the northern fort.
All of the Immortals were packing up and relocating from the three strongholds now that the threat was over.
They all felt it—the dissipation of foreboding, the release of tension. Like a great, invisible weight had been taken off of them.
One by one, pair by pair, they returned to their homes, especially the Pure and Dark Ones who were on loan from Sophia and Ramses. The Mated dragons, too, left to explore and live their own lives.
Arthur and Lancelot, Wolfe and Rui, and Merlin and Annie decided to move to New York City, not the least because most of Annie’s clientele were based there. She could have worked remotely from anywhere in the world, and might do so whenever she and Merlin wanted to discover new places, but she grew up in the City. She missed it.
And now that the Pendragons were more acclimated to modern civilization, they were willing to try it. They also wanted to live in close proximity though independently for the time being to help solidify family ties.
Divina and Andros, with their large herd of progeny, moved back to southern Europe, spread out across the Greek islands, Italy and Spain. They loved the climate and lifestyle, the charm of the people and delicious food. And there were so many gorgeous plains for their herd to roam, to race across. It was home.
Kai and Eir, Zai and Sin stayed at the base of Mount Wilson in the Yukon with Goya’s Beasts. In dragon form, Kai could easily camouflage himself in the rugged surroundings. Humans wouldn’t be able to see him at all with very little disguise on his part. Besides, he preferred untamed lands with minimal human interference.
Zai became the aerial leader of the raptor Beasts, and Sin became Goya’s second in command. They both felt most comfortable in the relatively unpopulated mountains and forests as well. Goya’s Beasts were the same. They were the taciturn dragons’ people.
Sai and Brigid migrated to the British Isles. Brigid still owned extensive properties in Scotland. There, she was closer in touch with the fae world as well. They divided their time between both worlds as needed and according to their desire.
Shai and Heba left for Egypt, preferring the home base of Cairo. But they intended to travel extensively. They wanted to explore the world together, starting with visits to all the other dragons’ homes so they had the benefit of local hosts and friendly faces. Their first stop would be Greece to see Divina and Andros.
Cloud and Aella intended to return to the Pure Ones’ base in New York City, of course. But for the time being, Cloud stood beside Ben on top of the Beaufort Fort, overlooking the now serene sea, glistening under a bright sun’s rays and cheerfully drifting clouds. Ere stood on his other side, for once quiet and solemn, respecting Ben’s mood.
This would be the last day at the fort for all of them before they dismantled it like the others had done to the southern fort so the remnants of these strongholds wouldn’t arouse undue human suspicion.
“I don’t know why I keep expecting her to walk out of the water as if nothing happened,” Ben murmured, talking more to himself than the two men on his left and right.
“A part of me knows she’s gone. But the other part feels her presence still. Somewhere in this world. I would know, wouldn’t I, if my Mate was truly no more?”
Cloud nodded beside him.
“I believe you’re right,” his dragon trainer said.
“For the longest time, I didn’t have memory of Aella, but I was comforted somehow by her existence. We dragons cannot bear to lose our Mates once we found them. It is true of all Immortals, but most especially us. The fact that you are still whole of mind might be proof enough that she is out there still. Waiting to be found.”
Ere looped an arm around Ben’s shoulder, casually leaning against him, though Ben knew that it was his “uncle” who was providing him support.
“I had no idea Sorin was out there until he reawakened me and reminded me of what we once had,” Ere murmured.
“But it didn’t matter that I didn’t remember his soul. I Fell all over again when I met him. And everything that came before, instead of being tragic and torturous, became stepping stones on my path to him. Because of that, I regret nothing. I would suffer everything that’s happened and more if my roads lead back to him.”
Ere squeezed his shoulder and tilted his head slightly, just for a moment, resting it against Ben.
“I have no doubt you’ll find your Mate, my boy,” the Black Dragon said with quiet conviction.
“She might not walk out of these waters right now like Jesus rising, but she’ll walk into your arms one day just the same.”
Ben huffed a laugh, startled and amused by Ere’s irreverence.
And suddenly, he felt lighter, more hopeful.
He’d waited three incarnations for his Destined Mate. She hadn’t accepted him in the first two. But she finally did in this last one. All the stars were clearly aligned in Ben’s favor. It was only a matter of time that he found her again.
He’d never stop looking until he did.
After they said goodbyes to Cloud and Aella, Ben, Sorin and Ere returned to their hometown.
Ben was treated to an endless buffet of Ishtar’s cooking as she spoiled him with delicious food. His parents doted on him too, in their own way. He spent an entire night sitting on the deep-seated couch with Gabriel, sometimes deeply immersed in a heart-to-heart, most of the time just sharing space. His father was simply there for him.
Tal was the only one who didn’t overtly reach out in any particular way, though his presence comforted Ben all the same. Ben spent hours in the woodshop with him, getting in the way, no doubt. Because he spent most of the time holding blocks of wood and implements with a faraway look on his face, wondering if Seven as Michael had touched the same.
He could feel Michael’s presence here. Lingering.
When he looked out the back window of the woodshop, in his direct line of sight sat Ben’s cabin. Did Michael watch him from this window? Did he see Ben chopping wood almost every morning he was home? Did Michael feel the draw even then? Before they each knew what the other was to them?
Ben believed he did.
He had to believe it. Else, how would he know when he found Seven again? There was no doubt in his mind, in his heart and soul, that he would.
“I kept this package for you,” Tal said now, a week after Ben returned from the Beaufort Sea.
The blind carpenter retrieved a large box wrapped in brown paper and string and laid it in Ben’s arms.
“It arrived shortly after you came home with… your Mate. Given everything that has happened since, this parcel escaped my mind.”
Ben accepted it. For some reason, he wanted to open it in private, even though Tal couldn’t see. He thanked his grandfather and departed for his cabin.
There, in his own living room, he sat on the couch where he’d sat with Michael, where he’d almost kissed the man, and looked over the outside of the parcel.
There was only his address and the sender’s. From the Quarter Chaophraya, Bangkok, Thailand.
Inside, there was no note, only a sturdy box stuffed with packing peanuts and tissue paper. Ben’s breath froze in his chest as he revealed what lay underneath—
The origami creations Seven had gifted him.
Preserved impeccably and clearly handled with the utmost care. Not a single delicate fold was disturbed. Not a single crease out of place.
As Ben lifted the sculptures out of the box, the rings he wore on the middle fingers of each hand began to glow and vibrate, as if they, too, rejoiced at the hope surging through him.
He would find her again. No matter what. No matter when.
Let the most important quest of his life begin.